Chapter 9

Authors Note: Here we go again! Lol, I love that song R&R

Sesshomaru walked through the woods calmly, he expected to come across Rin rather quickly or at least pick up on her scent, which he hadn't yet. It seemed he was quite irritated. Sesshomaru looked to the side briefly, moving through a few bushes the leaves shaking violently as he walked through. "Rin" his voice was soft and calm speaking as he always would, as if she were near by. There was no response, no sign of movement or acknowledgement. He paused briefly walking forward and looking at the small bundle on the forest floor. It was Rin.

She sat there on her knees; they were pressed so hard against so hard against her chest it was as if she was knocking the air out of herself. Her sobs were wracking her body incredibly hard, and she was literally in a puddle of her tears. Who knew you had that many tears in you? She looked to him over a shoulder, her eyes red and for a minute the youkai lord stood there almost aghast his mouth slightly open staring towards the child. He knew that look.

Flash back-Sesshomaru's POV+

I was a teenager then, nothing more or less then a raging teenager, father was gone again. Gone to that mortal bitch, I laid in my room staring up the ceiling in utter disgust. There was a soft little thud upon my door, as it slowly cracked open.

"What do you want?" My voice was calm as usual, the annoyance I gave off was there but my voice hid any signs of anger. I suppressed my emotions very well.

"Can I sit with you?" I stared towards my younger sister as she crawled up onto the bed slowly, she was only four then.

I rolled my eyes staring towards the ceiling. Sometimes I thought she was stranger then I was, she would sit at the foot of my bed, not saying a word. She would be utterly quiet and just sit with me. ME. Out of all the other people who would play with her, or who would talk to her, she would sit with still and quiet. I wondered why, why she was so willing but I never let it bother me. She was blood and her presence was gentle.

"Outto-kun" I looked towards her, she was also very respectable, always calling me brother and so formally, she was equal to what I was, she was blood.

"What?"

"Why did daddy leave us again? Does he not love us anymore? Is it because…I'm not human!" Her voice was cracking and she sat there crying, her face in her hands. The first thought I had thought was pathetic, the next thought I thought was that she should never lower herself to something of a human. They were disgusting. And my last thought was be strong. In my mind it rung out to her, be strong. BE STRONG.

She stared towards me, the tears there but drying. "I'm sorry" she said quietly. I didn't say anything as she looked towards me with those eyes of respect and love. "I wanna be just like you Sesshie!" Her smile was so wide, and so pure as she stared towards me. She slid off the bed and kissed my cheek. God why hadn't I said something as she left the room? Why didn't I say I'd protect her? Why didn't I say SOMETHING?

It was quiet around the castle until later that night, 'Father should be back soon' I thought rising from the bed and down the hallway. There was a loud bang outside, thousands of youkai were approaching. I could feel my heart tighten a second as my head spun to the side, we were being attacked. Mother and sister along with the other youkai in the castle had gone out, how could I have not noticed? I scolded myself as I ran out and joined the line up, but as I reached it….They had already begun.

The youkai up front was speared through the chest, he collapsed on my sister. A 200,000 pound youkai fell on my sister. I heard her eep, and then I saw her through it, she had cut through, and she protected herself. I killed several low life youkai, and then I heard a sound, such a sound that echoed through my mind for minutes, hours, days, months, and then finally years. A sound that haunted my dreams, and destroyed my existence. My mother's scream. A spear stuck straight through her heart and out the other end, everyone stopped. They had killed the leader of our pack, my mother. I raced towards her knocking several people over, and as I held her with one hand, I stared into her eyes as she looked towards me, blood running heavy from her mouth. "Protect…Auwae…Protect your sister…"

I looked towards my younger sister, setting my mother down. "Auwae Now!" I commanded I could feel my blood boiling, my eyes pulsed red and my claws expanded. The anger that I had long suppressed everything was coming out. As she ran towards me, she was killed. I don't even remember how, the minute her body hit the ground, I killed everything. I destroyed everything.

When I went towards the girl, who had kissed me only hours before, I could feel the sting of tears in my eyes and fell to my knees in such shame such disgrace that I couldn't have protected my younger sister, or served my mothers dying wish. She looked deep into my pulsing red eyes that were stained with tears, her eyes widened as her limp trembling hand brushed my cheek. She went to talk to me and the words didn't come only blood trickling down her cheeks. When her existence was nearly gone, she spoke as if she had saved every ounce of her strength to tell me… "I love you…outto-kun"

End flash back+

Sesshomaru's POV+

I had cried then, even as a teenage with such recklessness, such regret. Rin's red eyes were just as red as mine were from being in my demon form. Rin's heart is just as broken as when I lost my sister. I had never cried since that day, and I didn't even remember thinking about it until now. I had pushed it so far back into my mind it was as if it, it hadn't existed.

I crouched down on my knees and using the one arm I had, I pulled her close. My eyes were alert holding her, my grip tight. I felt her gasp against me, and I paused. "I know how it feels…but Jaken doesn't have to hurt anymore Rin." I paused gathering my words. I knew she wasn't afraid of me; I just didn't want to hurt her with my words. I wanted to comfort her, Kikyou was right. Rin deserved to be praised not punished.

"You're a brave girl Rin" I could tell she trembled against me, tears running down my neck. They stung. "You deserve to be praised not punished…Jaken was a faithful servant….Rin if…If he still had his youth, Rin I most certainly would have saved him." I waited for a response and I couldn't get one, I was feeling a bit awkward both inwardly and outwardly. But, I had to keep trying, for Rin's sake. "It's things like that you won't ever forget, it's people like that…who make there way in that don't die Rin. If…if you loved Jaken…if he dies…he's not really gone…it's not like…there really gone….they live on…inside you.."

"Sesshomaru-sama" I pulled back a bit her eyes staring into mine, they weren't as red now, but newly finished tears were brimming her eyes but…she was smiling. She was smiling ever so purely, ever so innocently and then she kissed me. On the cheek just like my sister had, and I could feel something inside of me burn with the old remembrance as I stared towards her. The words I had longed to tell my sister were the words I longed to tell Rin. My voice was so soft I wasn't sure if she could hear it.

"I'm sorry….I hurt you Rin…I….love you"

I heard her gasp and that was my reassurance, she was crying now. I don't understand why but her arms wrapped around my neck with such passion such love, I was surprised.

"I love you Sesshomaru-sama! I love you lots! I never wanted you to forget Rin! Rin never wants to forget Jaken! Rin never wants you to forget Rin either! When Rin should die, Rin wants to be remembered!"

I stared towards her as I brought her up, "Let's go home" My voice was calm, and behind my calm demeanor, there was a smile. I knew she could see it, because she smiled back. The western palace, our home came back and there stood Kikyou out front of the gates, her hair blowing in the wind as she smiled towards us.

"Rin-chan!"

I let Rin down as she ran towards Kikyou, the miko picking her up and twirling her around. They almost looked…beautiful. The setting sun, the smiles, the closeness, it was a scene even touching to someone as cold as me.

"So what happened between you and Sesshomaru?"

My ears twitched a bit as I looked towards Rin, her eyes were closed and her smile was so wide, I doubt anyone could smile wider. Her finger was pressed to her lips, and her voice was filled with so much excitement. "It's a secret!"

Yes Rin… It is a secret…Until I have time…to grow….

Authors Note: How was it+Bites lip+ I thought the memory of Sesshies younger sister might help build his relationship with Rin and such…More S/K next chapter. I PROMISE. +Makes a cross above where right chest is+ Vampires promise, if I don't keep it I die! 0.0;;; But…it's a secret, don't tell anyone I'm a vampire okay? OKAY! Wait I'm telling you f ck