Chapter 12

Authors Note: This one will be in Inuyasha, Kagome, and Rin's perspectives o Enjoy!

Rin's POV+

It was strange to see Sesshomaru hit the wall like that, and it was even stranger to be dismissed by the two. I felt hurt in a way, and I never thought I'd know hurt so much after my family died but sure enough it felt exactly the same when Jaken died. I didn't go inside like I assumed they wanted me too, I went back to the garden…where Jaken was.

"Jaken-sama" I whispered his name for my only comfort and I feel the tears brim eyes in a flash of angry red from where they formed. Why did age have to catch up with us always? Why did we have to grow older and die? No matter what we are, we all die in the end. My tears hit the soil of his dirt grave and I see something, it's strange it's like a flower that has been growing do to my tears over his grave. I know it sounds silly doesn't it? But I swear it wasn't there yesterday, the flower was green, and so were the petals but they were closed tight and hadn't bloomed yet.

I stroke the tiny petals with my fingers, I want it to open…for Jaken-sama. It silly isn't it? He hated it when I played in the flowers, mindlessly collecting them for are lord. But I'd like Jaken to have his own flower. A Jaken flower. The thought sounds mildly comforting and then again mildly scary. I choke back a giggle as I rise and leave. Give it time, everything happens in time.

I walk back towards the house feeling a bit comforted and to my surprise, Kikyou is still standing there and Sesshomaru-sama is long gone. I can't really tell the look on Kikyou-sama's face, it's slightly red though which could be anger or embarrassment. I'm not sure her eyes seem a bit glazed too, what a strange look.

"Kikyou-sama?"

She didn't answer. She always answers almost right away is she really that distant?

"Kikyou-sama?"

She turns slightly still looking a bit out of it, and then shakes her head quickly as if to recover from her disposition. She smiles towards me and I find myself even more confused then before, did Kikyou-sama have a crush on Sesshomaru-sama? Do I dare say she may…have the…urge to become his 'mate' as Jaken-sama had said? I suddenly feel lonely.

"Why do you look so….out of it"

She pauses as if mulling it over and I feel the loneliness increase. What if she and Sesshomaru-sama get hooked up? Will he leave me to have his own… um what did Jaken-sama say demon children were called…pups? Please don't love him Kikyou-sama, please say Sesshomaru-sama made you angry, please say he doesn't love you, please don't love him! I don't want to be alone! Dear god don't let me be alone again!

"I think he complimented me, silly isn't it Rin-chan?"

My heart drops. 12 feet under as Jaken-sama would have said, gotten ran over by Satin himself and then spat on by Naraku. The nervousness in me is increasing and I find myself shaking, trembling in the least.

"But but don't you love Inuyasha!"

I can't believe I blurted that out, and so rudely too. Sesshomaru-sama would have been very displeased and Kikyou-sama looks upset. Her face seems pale and puzzled and there's that undying hurt in her eyes again as when I first crossed her again in the woods with that injured shoulder. It's not fair of me to hurt her just because I'm scared. That's wrong. Am I really that bad of a person?

"Forgive me Kikyou-sama" My voice is such a whisper and I'm almost positive that she wants to say something but nothing seems to cross her lips. I slowly walk away and I feel as though loneliness if not was set before was set in stone now. I don't know if I can take this….I don't know if I can take this stress it's to much. Am I walking straight? Why is it dark? I don't feel so….

"How did I get in my bed" I blinked a few times eyes drowsy with sleep. "I don't remember going to sleep…in fact I was walking away" I listen to my voice as it echo's off my walls. No one's in here anyway, so if anything did happen…no body cared. Nobody's in here with me. Nobody cares….anymore. I find hot tears sting my eyes and the pain hurts terribly with trembling hands I push myself out of bed and crawl towards my window, just to see if they're out there together. They are. Wait a second…That's not Sesshomaru-sama!

My heart begins to quicken almost instantly, Sesshomaru-sama doesn't have ears like that! He doesn't have an outfit like that either! Who was Kikyou…Inuyasha? The realization hits me like a brick and my head aches suddenly. He was out there alone without Kagome-sama and his companions. He looks like he's hurting and so does Kikyou. But the question is now? Where's Sesshomaru?

The loneliness inside me is gone now; it's only replaced with a growing fear. I'm not sure why I'm afraid, instinct I guess. I feel my hand grip the windowsill tightly, Sesshomaru doesn't like this man. I don't know why but he doesn't like him, so why are you so close to him? Can't you tell? Can't you tell that he's…! I'm screaming but only in my mind.

I turn to run; I don't know what to do. Everyone will be hurt by this; Inuyasha and Kikyou-sama already look hurt. I have to find Kagome. Yes, Inuyasha loves Kagome; Inuyasha will leave if Kagome comes to get him. I'm sure of it. Dear Buddha please let me find Kagome!

Inuyasha POV+

I wonder if I betrayed my group standing here in Sesshomaru's court yard in front of the women I adored. Kikyou's eyes say I did, they cast shame upon me like everyone else's did, it just hurt worse when she did. I see a little girl running across the court yard, I've seen her with Sesshomaru before, her name was Rin….I think. I wonder why she's running but that doesn't bother me as much as why Kikyou hadn't. Why was Kikyou still here? Did she remember forgetting? Or was she still here because she didn't remember?

"What…are you doing here?" Kikyou whispers her voice is so gentle, she sounds almost afraid. Was Kikyou afraid of me? There's no way, Kikyou wasn't even afraid of Naraku so why did she sound so…? So…different.

"I…had to see you." My voice is a bit gentle and I almost feel like lowering my heads in shame. Sango's and Miroku's eyes were filled with trust, they were trying to believe me but underneath it they were burning with my lie, my betrayal. Kagome's too, they all wanted to trust me, to believe in me and then I had…

"Why?"

"Do you remember?" Kikyou seems to hesitate a bit; maybe she's wondering what to remember. There's so much to remember. Do you remember when we kissed Kikyou? Do you remember when you pinned me to Goshinboku Kikyou? Do you remember when we DIED?

"I know I had lost my memory…Rin-chan told me. I don't remember losing it though, but…I remember everything from well, other then my amnesia ridden self. I remember the betrayal and Naraku and…being alive"

She smiled. She's so glad that she's gotten her second chance, why can't we have a second chance? Because I…I don't know who I love. I know I couldn't live without Kagome but the minute Kikyou left I…the burning desire to see her was more incredible then it had ever been before. To watch her, to touch her, to love her. I needed to see her, breathe her; fucking Buddha would have laughed his self thin.

"Kikyou I needed to see you" My heart hurts, god its so tight. This is so fucking annoying just say it ya dumb ass! "Kikyou I…! I haven't stopped thinking about you since that night! I can't get you off of my mind!"

"Inuyasha"

I smiled slightly by the taken back look on her face, the tone in her voice of disbelieve, and her scent of slight happiness. I couldn't help it, no one was more beautiful then Kikyou was. She had inspired me from the beginning. That day…I had first seen Naraku he had called Kikyou a stupid women, and that day…when Kagome went to go back home. I had told her that…

"But when I saw your face I somehow felt inspired…."

'Not quite like…Kikyou but still…'

It was never quite like Kikyou. It was never quite like Kikyou. It was always and always had been Kagome.

I can't think of anything else to say, I don't know but I can't keep doing this. Kikyou can't move from the day she died, and I can't move from Kikyou but I just can't forget about…Kagome. Is that selfish? Is that wrong? Does it matter? It's here and now, that's all I can do. Forgive me Kagome.

"Kikyou!" My hand laces around her waste and I thrust her into a deep embrace bearing my head in the crook of my neck.

"Inuyasha! What are you doing!" Her small hands push against my back, god she always resists but she'll calm down and relax into me, she always does, even if she doesn't want too. I shut my eyes tightly as I feel her restraints become less and less.

Kagome's POV+

"Inuyasha sure is taking a long time" Shippo mused quietly looking off into the setting sun. I sighed slightly my cheek pressed gently against the palm of my hand. I find myself in one of those 'did he lie?' positions. It was an unspoken agreement between us all that Inuyasha had gone off to find Kikyou and it had nothing to do with Naraku.

There seemed to be rabid breathing like someone is running towards us. "Inuyasha?" my voice is a whisper and I wonder if I'm just imagining it but sure enough I'm not. It wasn't Inuyasha but indeed someone was approaching running as fast as their tiny little legs could carry them. "Rin-chan?" The little girl collapses in front of me covered in dirt and sweat, her eyes tired and red with tears as she stares up to me.

"Take him away Kagome-sama"

My eyes widen a bit had Sesshomaru hurt Rin-chan? What could have possibly happened?

"Who Rin-chan? Who!"

"Inuyasha!" Her voice is so filled with panic and I can feel my heart stop for a second, for a minute I felt as dead as Kikyou had been. The blood in my body had truly stopped and stayed still through my veins. Had Inuyasha transformed? Had he attacked Rin and Sesshomaru?

Will I have to kill Inuyasha?

Oh god…it would never have to come down to that would it? My hand trembles slightly as I hold the withering girl in my arms, the others have now recorperated around my side. We have no choice, no matter what is wrong with Inuyasha we have to put a stop to it, even if it means I have to…

Die

Could I die at his hands?

And if I couldn't could I take his life as Kikyou had?

"Lets go…Miroku, Sango, Shippo" I paused for a second and looked down to Rin in my arms "Rin-chan" I forced a smile, Lies, I'm covered in them.

End Kagome's POV+

Authors Note: sorry it wasn't the best, hope its okay. R&R