Title: Silence Is Easy
Summary: My take on the conversation Ryan and Marissa should've had during The Game Plan, after Marissa went off about Johnny and Ryan ganging up on her.
A/N: Haven't written me some R/M in so long, or written anything in so long for that matter, so I apologize if I didn't do them justice. PS the title is from a song by Starsailor.
-----
Ryan knocks lightly on Summer's bedroom door. He can already see Marissa's lanky figure from an angle, crouched over the dresser, fumbling around for something. She doesn't look up, but manages to mutter an absent, "Come in."
Ryan hesitates for a moment before stepping in, hands-in-pockets, waiting for her to turn around and go off on how she doesn't want him there.
She lets out a frustrated sigh as she continues to look through the drawer, a number of socks and panties hanging on the sides. "God, the way Summer organizes her space does no just to the amount of storage she has in this room."
Punctuating her comment, she turns around and stops cold in her steps as she sees Ryan's figure, shoulders slouched in apprehension and a reluctant gaze finding hers.
Her anxious voice grows dull and tired as she finally acknowledges his presence. "What are you doing here?"
Ryan sighs at his greeting and steps up to her, trying to touch her arm but she's quicker than him because she moves it away and tucks her arms under her chest.
"I'm trying to do what's best for you, Marissa."
"Gathering my friends and ganging up on me is a great way to start, remind me to send you a thank you card from college."
Ryan's quiet at the bitterness of her tone, and Marissa seems even more indifferent if possible. She looks away and runs an impatient hand through her hair.
"Are we done here?"
"Why'd you stop me from sailing away?"
Marissa's eyebrows furrow as she moves her gaze to meet his, but this time he's looking away and his eyes are distant in the way that they always are when he's trying hard to do something he doesn't like to: communicate.
"What has sailing away have to do with this?"
"It has everything to do with it." He laughs silently, meeting her eyes for a fleeting moment before focusing them away again. "You told me, I was a coward for not facing up to the facts."
"That was different."
"He was my brother, you shot him, I was getting screwed because of it and I had to prove to strangers that I wasn't who they thought I was," Ryan mutters through gritted teeth, his eyes still far away, but glazed over with unmistakeable rage and fatigue. The room is overtaken by silence, except the few breaths he takes before looking back into her eyes. "Sound familiar?"
Marissa's hard features now soften as she hugs herself securely, a sense of pleading and apology in her eyes.
"You stopped me from going and throwing my future away because you gave a shit about where I'd end up."
"Yeah, Ryan, but… I mean, Johnny… I can't believe he would get involved in this."
Ryan's expression drops at her words. He slowly moves his eyes towards her, looking as confused and hurt as an innocent child punished for the dog's bad-doing. "Johnny?"
She sighs. "I mean, I tell him everything and he still goes behind my back."
"I've known you for three years, Marissa." Ryan pauses, locking his eyes on hers. "Johnny only knows as much as you tell him, but I've lived it all with you. All of it." He smirks sadly. "And it's sad that you think an audience can get your life more than the guy who was next to you through every second of it."
"Ryan…"
"I'm not here to prove a point," he says quietly, his voice shaky with emotions he's trying to hide. "I'm here to tell you I want you to go 'cause I care."
Marissa stands speechless, her own head dropped in shame, only looking up occasionally to meet his gaze that is fixed on her.
Ryan didn't open up to Marissa so he could get silence. If he wanted that, he would've just banged his fist against his punching bag – at least that would've given him more physical release than this.
He shakes his head and turns away, barely stepping out before Marissa's voice holds him back as she calls out his name.
He turns around, and her slender arms wrap around his neck, holding him tightly. Her face is buried in his chest as she cries against it softly. "I'll go." She looks up at him and lets her eager hands cup his face. "Hey, I'll go, okay?"
Ryan nods silently and feels her lips brush up against his in a hasty kiss before she steps away, her arms replaced around his neck. She bites down on her bottom lip and looks into his eyes hopefully. "I've been having these nightmares and flashbacks."
"Yeah…?" Ryan tucks away a strand of hair from her eyes. "Tell me about them."
Marissa smiles weakly and kisses his lips before untangling herself from around him and shutting the bedroom door silently behind them.
FIN