Chapter Two: The Silvery Queen

As Harry and Ron finished off another Pumpkin Pastie, Luna Lovegood floated in. Her hair was twisted into a new, more intricate hairstyle, and she wore more jewelry than usual.

"This year, I am not only slightly wacky and drifty, I'm also psychic! I am the new Seer!" Luna declared.

The trio looked at each other.

And they said, "Okay!"

"So, O great oracle, what ill tidings bode? What brings you to our dismal doorstep? What news from the Mark?" Hermione asked, grasping Luna's hand.

"Hermione, why are you talking all weird?" Ron asked.

"Shut up, Ron. That's how you have to talk to psychic people. Or else their powers will fail and their insides will shrivel up and they will just be creepy old ladies again."

"Oh yeah. I remember that."

So they all stared back at Luna for several moments, tense. She looked around.

"What?"

Hermione tilted her head impatiently. "The prophecy, O great oracle?"

"Oh! Right. Sorry. I'll get on with it then." Luna said, nodding.

She simultaneously went into convulsions and a trance-like state because apparently it's difficult to decide which one is cooler.

"The silvery queen will arrive

and behold all the pawns in her eye

but appearances aren't what they seem

she too has.. uh.. a weird dream

of hidden green and black unseen.

And also she probably has green eyes

And don't forget to keep everything italicized."

And Luna emerged from her convulsive trance, blinking.

Ron's face registered a good "What. The. Fuck?" But instead he shrieked, "Luna you are soooo kewel! I am warm for your form!"

"Thank you, Ronald. Oh, shit. You're talking to me all normal."

She shriveled up.

"Oops. Sorry."

"Eh. No big. I'm an auxiliary character anyway." Her wrinkly old husk waddled away, crablike. The other students skirted it in the hall and she cackled, zooming around.

"So, what to you think it could mean?" Hermione asked, shutting the door again. They all crowded around conspiratorially. Let's not forget how easily secrets get spread around Hogwarts. Wouldn't want there to be a wave of abject adoration and hero worship for one American Girl. Nope.

"Well, I think it means Luna is really bad at rhyming." Harry supplied.

"No, stupid!" Hermione bopped him on the head. "It means the American Girl is your twin sister! Duh! Green eyes? Black unseen? Come on!"

Harry looked at Ron in disbelief.

"No, she's right," he agreed. "She's the only one that knows anything. Besides, is there any way for the American Girl to be any cooler? I don't think so. This is the best way for her to have awesome powers and a beautiful eye-color."

"Her eyes could be purple." Harry suggested.

"Hmm. That is a thought." Ron agreed.

Hermione sighed. "This could be a problem, though. She'll be freakishly attractive and you'll have a hard time remembering she's your sister. In fact, she might turn out not to be your sister after all if things get too boring and we need you in a love triangle."

"Very well." Harry said gravely. "Will her eyes be purple in that case?"

"Yes" Hermione confirmed. "Except for when they flash silver. You know. When she gets angry because she has a wicked temper. Or when she gets all hot and bothered because she has a wicked appetite for hot sex."

"Yes," agreed Ron. "You'll forever be peering into the shimmering depths of her orbs, wondering idly at the mystery and wishing, oh wishing, that you could only hold her."

"Very good, Ron. She also will have a tragic past, so her eyes will be empty and blank half of the time. This must distress you. Got it?"

"Oh my God." Harry said. Even though he never says that. "I haven't taken anything this seriously since… I don't know. Certainly not Voldemort. And I seem to have forgotten completely about Sirius."

"That's convenient!" Ron cried.

"Yes! Now we are able to concentrate wholly on the arrival of the American Girl!"

"Huzzah!" All three cried.

"So, is she my sister or not?"

TBC...