AN: Hey ya'll just thought I'd tell you. In this fic Havoc is one rank higher then Riza. She's second lieutenant and he's first. Since Riza is new she's lower then him. Once she shows off her skills a little more she gets promoted and he gets demoted. Sorry for telling you that, but I didn't want to do two things, number one was confuse you, and number 2 was get yelled at later because they are the wrong rank. Don't kill/hate me please!

The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 7: When Genders Collide

Roy's grip on his pen tightened when he saw who his new Second Lieutenant was. It became so tight that the pen couldn't withstand the crushing force and broke, exploding and getting all over Roy's important documents, desk, uniform, as well as a few spots on his face.

"Ummm…" Havoc was so stunned and lost that he almost didn't know what to say. When Roy's pen exploded and he was too angry to even notice Havoc knew it was time to worry.

"You…" Riza was finally able to speak. Her voice was muffled and gruff. She couldn't fully open her mouth because her tense muscles were keeping her teeth clenched. Her fists were also clenched, so tight that her knuckles were as white as newly fallen snow, but the burning rage she felt boiling in her body could melt that cold snow in a matter of seconds.

"Oh boy…" Havoc said when he saw this. "Yet another war in the military. Peaceful days are gone." The worst part about this was the battle hit way to close to home. Not to mention he didn't know who to root for. He didn't want to get burned, but he didn't want to get shot either. I know. She can't shoot if she doesn't have her gun. Havoc thought when his blue eyes hit the silver gun that sat on her empty desk. He slowly reached his arm across his desk and slowly slid it across hers, hoping she wouldn't notice. His eyes darted back and forth between Riza's stunned face and her pistol, catching a glimpse of her to see if he had entered the danger zone or not.

"Don't even think about it," Riza said in a stern tone when she saw Havoc's evilly-plotting fingers slowly slide on her pistol.

"Yes ma'am!" Havoc snapped back fast, his body shot upright as he took the saluting position. He was at Riza's mercy. He was hoping she'd be too busy with Roy to notice him much. Poor Roy… but I have to let you take the fall this time. Under normal circumstances I'd help you in anyway I could… but… she's got a gun, and she's a woman, she's also got a very scary, yet very beautiful face. Oh man... she's got it all…

"Why are you saluting her? I'M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER!" Roy snapped and bolted up from his desk, the sudden jolt caused his chair to fall backwards on the floor.

"Sorry sir, it's nothing personal. I just don't want to get shot," Havoc replied nervously, not moving his body an inch. He could see Roy out of the corner of his eye and that was all he needed.

A disgusted look appeared on Roy's face as he sneered.

"At ease solider," Riza calmly ordered Havoc. She was hoping she could keep this coolness. Her body had finally lost its tense so she could function normally again. How long it would last she was unsure, but she'd do everything in her power not to let Roy ruin her 'perfect solider' reputation.

"Thank you, sir… uh... ma'am... sir? ma'am?" Havoc replied. He'd never had to work with a woman before. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to follow her gender and call her ma'am, or follow the way of the military and call her sir. He nervously but quickly put his arm at his side, but he still stood upright. His backbone was as straight as it was going to get before it snapped.

"Lieutenant Havoc, relax," Riza said. Havoc acting that way made her feel bad, like he was afraid of her or something. Not only that, but he was a higher rank then she was. She was a second lieutenant and he was first, giving a higher ranking officer orders just didn't work.

"I DON'T CARE!" Roy snapped, "YOU DON'T SALUTTE AN OFFICER OF LOWER RANK!"

"Sorry, chief," Havoc replied.

"He has a good point," Riza said nodding. Her amber eyes were closed and her arms were folded over her chest, in a very calm relaxed fashion. She was trying to lessen the tension in the air.

"YOU!" Roy said as he turned his head from Havoc to Riza, "You, stop agreeing with me! We have nothing to agree with! I don't know why you're agreeing with me or why you're even in here! How could someone like you make it to Second Lieutenant? How could someone like you even make it into the military for that matter?"

"I could say the same thing about you," Riza replied, still not bothering to open her eyes.

"WHAT?" Roy burst out, "I'M YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER! YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

Havoc just looked back and forth between the two. He wasn't going to say anything that risked his well-being. He just sat back and watched the show, the smoke from his cigarette drifted into the air and around the room. It wasn't much, but it made the already heavy air even heavier, with the hint of burning particles. Man, I wish I had some popcorn.

"You're right, I'm sorry, Lieutenant Colonel Mustang," Riza replied knowing Roy really was right, but she also liked playing mind games with him. She knew he wasn't expecting that.

"WILL YOU QUIT AGREEING WITH ME? THAT IS A DIRECT ORDER, SECOND LIEUTANET HAWKEYE! STOP AGREEING WITH ME! YOU LOOK SO PATHETIC! LIKE YOU'RE WAITING FOR A BUS! AT LEAST DEFEND YOURSELF!" Roy retorted, about ready to climb over his desk. Then he looked down at it, and saw the black ink splattered all over his 50,000 word report on the coal mine.

…

"AND YOU BROKE MY PEN!" he roared as his gaze snapped back to her. His eyes full of rage and his jaws clenched as he gripped the broken pen even tighter in his fist.

"Well first off, what else am I supposed to say? You said I can't talk to you in that 'bad' manner, but you also said I can't agree with you. So what else am I supposed to say?" Riza asked. "And second, I didn't break your pen, sir. It was your hand, your pen, and your attitude that broke it."

"No," Roy replied, "You did break my pen. Remember before? At the bank when you told me that men's testosterone caused women to choke and die? Well a woman's estrogen, namely yours, surged through this office and that caused my pen to overload and explode. So ha! Women have the same effect men do!"

"How do you know it wasn't you that cause it to explode? I thought I smelled the strong scent of man when I walked in here. The fumes in this place are horrible. I need to get an air freshener in here next time I come. What scent do you like?" Riza asked as she looked at Havoc, who was still smoking his cigarette and trying to stay out of it.

"Uh…" Havoc just stared up at her dumbfounded. He knew Roy was going to yell at him if he answered her, but he also knew she might get offended if he didn't answer her question. Poor Havoc, what was he supposed to do? It was a lose-lose situation. He was going to get the heat from someone and they were both deadly.

"Don't answer that, Havoc," Roy snapped.

"Ok... I guess I'll have to pick it out myself," Riza said. She then sat down at her desk. She saw a box sitting on the floor next to it. It was full of papers and files. She picked it up and looked through it. "I guess this is my work?"

"Yeah, I had Hughes bring it in this morning. Before you arrived," Havoc replied.

"Why Hughes?" Riza asked as she looked at Havoc with curious eyes.

"Because he was here at the time," Roy interrupted. He began cleaning up his ink soaked desk, or he was trying too at least.

"That's going to stain you know," Havoc said as he stared at Roy's uniform, black ink was all over it.

"And you have some on your face," Riza added.

Roy tried to wipe it off, that was a mistake. He just smeared it on his cheek, making it even more noticeable, and not only that, he also got it on his white glove.

"Still there," Havoc said as Roy rubbed his face. His cheek was beginning to turn red from all the rubbing, and he hadn't noticed the ink was also now all over his glove, making the once pearly white fabric different shades of dark and light grey.

Men… so helpless. What does that man do when there's no one around to help him, I wonder? Riza thought to herself as she diverted her attention off Roy and back to the files in the box. She began setting up her desk.

Havoc sat back, relaxed in his seat. He was glad the peace was somewhat restored in this office, but he could tell the air was going to be a lot more stuffy from now on, even with Riza's air freshener. I wonder how long this silence will last. Maybe I should start selling tickets? I can think of a lot of people who would like to see Riza and Roy duke it out. Yeah, have my own little bleachers right outside the door, 5 dollars a seat, sell popcorn and drinks. He rubbed his hands together. I'll make a fortune!