The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 9: The Stress of Work Can Really Get Under One's Skin
"Ok," Hughes said as he went over his mental checklist. He, Havoc, and Armstrong were standing in the alleyway below the office window. The military had so many different departments that they needed more then one building. The big monuments were lined up, side by side, on the Central grounds. It was a really disgusting place, the alleyway, not to mention it was tiny and dark. Dumpsters with stinking trash, empty boxes, and stray garbage lay on the cold, dirty concrete. It wasn't much different from an alley you saw on the street, except there were no thugs to worry about.
"So is that everything?" Armstrong asked as he looked over the supplies Hughes held in his arms.
"I think so," Hughes replied. He had the chain, well three chains, one for each of them. They wanted a rope, but couldn't find one. So they were going to go around and beg for people's shoelaces to tie together and make a rope when it hit them. The only people nearby worked for the military, and they all have to wear black boots as part of their uniform, so that wasn't going to work. All they were left with was to search the Central building, err… buildings. They did that and all they came up with was a few chains. It wasn't the best thing (in their minds) but it would have to do. Also in his arms were pots for each of them to wear on their heads, incase they were spotted. He also had freshly popped popcorn. It smelled so good and buttery. They wanted drinks too, but they were pretty sure they'd spill on the way up.
"Yup, that's everything," Havoc replied. He was still a little nervous, but the two men he was with assured him this was totally safe and no one was going to get hurt.
"Ok," Hughes replied as he let Armstrong and Havoc take their pots. Armstrong's was too small. He had a hard time fitting the small pan around his large bald skull.
"Would you like to do the honors?" Hughes asked as he held the chains out to Armstrong.
"Why of course. I can get this chain up there, boys. Don't you worry; this method of throwing has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" Armstrong replied as he threw the first chain as hard a he could. Lucky for our military men, there was a post sticking out of the building a ways above the window. What it was there for? They had no clue. It was there before the military purchased the building and fixed it up, made it bigger, used it for purposes other then a nuthouse, you know, the usual. All they could think of was it was convince that they always seemed to acquire at times like this.
"He did it!" Havoc said with a smile as the chain flew above the post then fell over it. The end of the chain fell back down to the military dogs. Hughes grabbed it and held it firmly. Then he smiled at his friends, showing them it was a successful throw.
"Number two!" Armstrong yelled and threw the second chain, but not before he got a chance to flex his muscles again.
"Armstrong, put the shiny light away. We have work to do," Hughes replied in a fatherly voice as he held the first chain. Havoc had the one Armstrong had just thrown.
"Oh, right," Armstrong replied. He once again managed to get his shirt back on in the few seconds it took to throw the last chain. By the time it came back down to him he had his navy blue uniform back on and fully buttoned.
How does he do that? Havoc still wondered. If I could make a shiny light and weird little shapes appear around my face would I use it in such a meaningless and annoying way?... HECK YEAH!
"Ok, are we ready?" Hughes asked as he looked over his troops. The two men saluted their leader. "At ease," Hughes replied and somehow the men managed to get the chain around their waists and stay that way without falling off.
Then our boys looked up at the sky. The shapes of the clouds reflected off Hughes' glasses. They saw their target above them. "Hmmm…" Armstrong gave a little bit of a growl, or was it a mumble? No one could tell. He did this every time he was about to go into battle or when he was flexing his pecks.
Hughes just stared at the post. He took a deep breath then said, "We who are about to die, salute you."
"Die? I thought you said this was safe!?" Havoc said as his head snapped from the sky to Hughes' square-shaped glasses.
Hughes just shrugged. "I had to say something; at least you were having a good time up until just now and not worried the whole time, right?"
A big drop of sweat appeared on the back of Havoc's head. He looked down and tired to undo the chain, but it was stuck. Armstrong laid a large hand on his shoulder. Havoc's blue eyes widened. Oh no... Not the light…it burns…
"Don't worry, Lieutenant Havoc. I shall protect you from harm!" Armstrong shouted just as the light appeared. He was about to pull his shirt off again when Hughes grabbed his arm.
"We've seen it! You can't show us your god-like muscles all the time. If you do, then your 'great line of Armstrong generations' will lose its affect and no one will care if you're strong anymore."
"Hmm…!" Armstrong replied as he stopped his current pose to stare at Hughes. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, greatness is only something that should be witnessed a few times in some one's entire life," Hughes replied.
Havoc was in the background smiling. Thank you, Hughes. You and your crazy ideas are truly a lifesaver. My eyes shall live to see another day.
"Ok, let's go up. Riza and Roy could be in danger and we might be missing something good. Also, our popcorn is getting cold," Hughes said as he pulled on the side of the chain that Armstrong had thrown. They tied one end of the chain to their waists, and they were going to pull on the opposite side. By doing this the chain would get pulled around the post hoisting them into the air.
"Are you sure this will work?" Havoc asked as he watched Armstrong and Hughes pull themselves up.
"It's working so far!" Hughes called down to him. His voice was muffled. He had the popcorn bag in-between his teeth. It didn't take them long at all the reach their destination. Well not for Hughes and Armstrong, Havoc was only halfway up. He was having trouble pulling his chain.
Hughes and Armstrong stayed below the window. They didn't want Riza and Roy to see them spying, especially after what happened earlier.
"Can you see them?" Armstrong asked as Hughes peeked into the window. Then he handed the popcorn bag down to Armstrong, who held it carefully between his knees.
"Yeah, Riza is standing by the window, her back facing us. Roy is on the other end of the room, by the door and he is facing her."
"Is Hawkeye all right?" Armstrong asked as he peeked over the window next to Hughes.
"Yeah," Hughes replied as they both watched. The hot steam coming from their nostrils was leaving a fog on the window's cold glass.
"Are they both alive?" Havoc yelled up to them. He couldn't go up any higher. His chain was snagged on a rusty part of the post or something. He wasn't too sure what was wrong. All he knew was he couldn't go up any farther. So he just hung there, suspending in mid-air. His body swung back and forth unsteadily. He looked down at the ground below him and gulped.
"Yeah! If both of them being alive is what you mean by all right!" Hughes shouted back.
"What are they doing?" Havoc asked as his attention went back up to his superiors.
"Well, Roy's about to... He's about to…" Hughes began to reply as he watched his friend through the glass. Roy was getting very fed up with this. He stood up straight and held his hand out toward Riza.
"Well?" Havoc asked again.
"He's…" Hughes said as they watched Roy put his fingers together. Hughes once calm and amused expression quickly turned to panic.
"He's what?" Havoc asked with an annoyed look on his face. Then he heard Roy's voice. He was shouting something at Hawkeye, but he couldn't make out what it was. Then they saw the swift movement of Roy's fingers.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Hughes screamed as he saw a red blast coming at them. "GO DOWN! GO DOWN!" he yelled as he franticly began pulling on the chain. Armstrong had a surprised and worried look on his face as he and Hughes started down, but their chains had a hard time moving. The metal kept snagging on the rusty post. Their bodies began swaying back and forth uncontrollably as they tried to get down. It was really comical seeing two grown men swinging to and fro in the air. It was truly one of those 'you don't see this everyday' moments.
"Ouch!" Hughes snapped. "Watch it!" he shouted when his body swung and collided with Armstrong.
"What's wrong?" Havoc yelled. Then he heard it, a loud rumble. Oh crap…! He thought as he saw the glass in the window suddenly explode into a million pieces and huge red flames came shooting out from broken window frame along with lots of dark heavy smoke.
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Hughes screamed as he and Armstrong were thrown backwards by the shock wave and began falling to the ground. The explosion had not only exploded the window, but the old metal post that was their lifeline also came down.
"OH CRAP!!!!" Havoc yelled as he too began falling.
Armstrong didn't scream, but he had a worried look on his face. He and Hughes' bodies began changing angles, so their backs were facing the concrete below. Hughes was just a few inches above Armstrong. Since Armstrong was the biggest and heaviest he'd hit the ground first.
Hughes screamed like a little girl as he clung to the chain that was no longer supported by anything. "AHHHHHH! NO! THIS COULD SCTRACH THE FACE OF MY PICTURES! GRACIA!"
Armstrong glanced back at the sky. Just a few feet above him he saw Riza. She had jumped out the window just before Roy's flames fried her.
Roy heard a loud thud. He expected it to be Riza, but it wasn't, it was Armstrong. He had landed hard on the concrete, Hughes and Riza landed on top of him. But poor Havoc. Since he had the lowest position he hit the ground first… meaning….
"Armstrong... please... get off... my back…" Havoc squeaked. His voice quiet and slurred from the pain and lack of oxygen. His head and right arm stuck out from under Armstrong's heavy body. The pot he was originally wearing on his head lay a few inches away.
"Sorry about that," Armstrong said as they all got up. Hughes and Armstrong attended to Havoc, while Riza looked back up at the blown out, charred, smoke filled window frame.
"That should do it," Roy said as he stuck his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face. The office was destroyed. Everything was burned and on fire except for what was behind Roy, and all that was was the back wall. The area behind Roy was still the original light blue, but the color changed the farther in the room you got. It went from light blue, to light grey, to dark grey, to black. The items that used to be desks and chairs were lying on the floor, black and crumbling to pieces as the wind came in the broken window and swept them away.
"What happened in here?" a solider asked as he and two other men rushed in. Their jaws dropped when they saw the office.
"We had a little fire, no big deal," Roy replied and was about to walk out of the destroyed room when he heard Riza's voice coming from outside.
"Hey, Lieutenant Colonel!" Riza yelled from the bottom of the alley. "I knew you couldn't do anything right!"
Havoc, Hughes, and Armstrong jumped up fast. Their jaws were now dropping as well. "She just got blasted out of a window by a huge explosion, and she still insults him? What kind of person are you?" Havoc asked.
"That's our Riza," Hughes said with a little laugh. Since the whole 'falling from a few stores up' thing was over and everyone was ok he was back to his normal cheerful self.
"Look what you just did to the office! How could you have even thought of doing something that stupid?" Riza snapped. They all stared up at the smoking window. As the smoke began to clear they could make out a body, it was Roy, and his dark eyes were glaring down at Riza. This fight was far from over, and it had been taken way too far, this proved it!