The Way to a Man's Heart Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 10: Who Knew Green Slime Could Reek of so Much Trouble?
Roy stood in the window glaring down at Riza with dark scornful eyes. He was fixed on the blond-haired woman. How did she make it out of that one without even a little scratch? He wondered, and then he saw Havoc, Armstrong, and Hughes standing a few feet behind her. Hughes... it figures. His eyebrow twitched as he closed his eyes and his body tensed up.
"He's mad," Havoc said as they stared up at their commanding officer.
"Yup, let's hope Roy gives us the cold shoulder, literally," Hughes replied as he stared up at him.
Hmm… would it be alright? Roy wondered to himself as he stared down at his men. They did go against my orders. I won't kill them. Would the heat be over doing it?
"Why is he just standing there?" Armstrong asked.
I could always say it was punishment. Yes. Roy said nodding to himself. Yes, it's just punishment. Bad little doggies in the military need their bottom smacked every once in awhile. Roy decided as a smirk appeared on his face.
"What's he doing?" Havoc said as they all stared at Roy. Riza saw the look in Roy's eyes and the smirk on his face. She knew he was up to something and got ready to move and protect herself.
"I'll show you what I'm doing, Havoc," Roy replied as he held out his hand. His palm was facing the sky and his fingers were in position. He was about to snap his fingers and fry them when Hughes rudely interrupted.
"Hey Roy!" Hughes yelled up to his superior. "Are you mad? We weren't helping Riza! Honest! We were-" he was about to say they were spying when Havoc elbowed him in the stomach. "Augh!" Hughes grabbed his aching stomach and fell to his knees, gasping for air.
"You baby, I didn't hit you that hard," Havoc mumbled as he watched Hughes. Then he looked back up at Roy. "We were looking for nice ladies in mini skirts! Or mini skirts we could give to you so you could get ladies of your very own to wear! And maybe even a girl for me, too!"
"Mini skirts? In an alleyway…" Roy replied as he folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe a word of it.
"Yes! In an alleyway!" Havoc stopped to think for a moment. There's no way he'll believe that. I've got to come up with something better. Ah! I know. "It's the best place to find hookers! They always have on nice mini skirts!"
Flames appeared in Riza's eyes as she glared at Havoc. Then she quickly and angrily walked over to the sandy-blond haired man. She stood in front of him, glaring at him.
"Uh? Did you want something, Hawkeye?" Havoc asked rather nervously.
In the blink of an eye she bent down and punched him in the stomach, a lot harder then Havoc had elbowed Hughes. You could actually hear the air in his lungs being forced out in an "auughhh" moan. He wrapped his arms around his mid-drift and bent down low. He too was now gasping for air.
"It's not so pleasant... now is it?" Hughes asked. His once cheerful and loud voice was now in a whisper as he tried to catch his breath.
Havoc just stared back at him with a 'you've gotta be kidding me' look on his face. "She just punched me as hard as she could in the stomach. I barley hit you. You have no right to be complai-" he didn't even get a chance to finish his moaning, quiet sentence. Just as fast as Riza punched him in the stomach, she spun around and gave him a hard kick, right in the face. This sending him flying backwards and to the ground, causing him to land on his back some five-six feet away.
She walked over to where he lay and glared down at him. "How dare you say something like that? Using women like that! Calling them hookers! To make things even worse! I'm standing in this alley right now, aren't I! Are you going to call me a hooker now?" she snapped.
Roy looked down at Riza with a smile, "Well if the hooker boot fits!"
Riza glared back up at him. "You're wearing the same boot as I am, Lieutenant Colonel! Does that mean you're a male hooker?"
Roy's smirk then quickly turned from satisfied to a disgusted look. How dare she say that? Hmmm… I wonder what Riza really would look like in hooker boots?
"Well are you?" Riza demanded Roy to answer her question, snapping him out of his fantasies of her in mini skirts and hooker boots.
"NO!" Roy retorted.
"I thought so," Riza replied.
Hughes, Havoc, and Armstrong just stood to the side watching. They were a small distance behind and to the left Riza. It wasn't a lot, but enough. They couldn't believe what they were hearing. It blew them away that Riza had enough courage to talk to Roy like that. Maybe it wasn't courage? Maybe it was just stupidity. They had no idea if they should intervene or not. "There's no way any woman would buy you!"
Roy's teeth clenched together and he growled and mumbled to himself. This woman is truly more trouble then she's worth and now she has my men under her estrogen spell. I've seen this before. This is what happens when men get married. Poor Hughes, he's fallen under it twice now. I think it's time I put her in her place. Roy didn't give his trademark smirk this time. He was too furious too. No one has ever spoken to him like that before.
He's gonna do it. I know he is. Riza thought to herself as she studied Roy's body movements carefully. She knew the boys behind her wouldn't get out of the way in time and she felt bad about that, but it is kind of their own faults. They came spying all on their own. If they would have stayed away like she told them to, then they wouldn't be stuck in the middle of this. Yes Riza, don't feel guilty about it later. It's their own faults and they have to learn somehow. He would never kill them. Not his own men. They'll just be in pain awhile. They'll get over it. Riza just kept telling herself over and over. She wasn't the kind of person to leave anyone behind in battle, but this wasn't your normal battle. She stood still as a deer as she watched Roy. She didn't move an inch. She knew Roy's skills were just as sharp as hers and if she moved he'd blast her. She was going to let him make the first move and then she'd dodge it.
"I'm done fighting with women. Maybe this will teach you to respect men!" Roy roared and snapped his fingers with great focus and anger. Suddenly a great heat wave was felt and then an enormous flame came charging toward them. This flame was different. Most of Roy's flames were just regular fire, but this one. This one was very different. It was almost as if Roy's very own hatred and anger came shooting out of his very soul and mixed in with the orange and yellow sparks, giving the flame a deadly red glow.
Riza's eyes widened. She couldn't leave Hughes, Havoc, and Armstrong to burn in this. The idea of her dodging it and leaving them went right out the window. "HEY! GET AWAY NOW!" Riza snapped as the flame came barreling toward them. The heat was incredible. It almost felt like it was melting their clothes into their skin. The men were so overwhelmed by the giant flame, along with the intense heat, that their brains weren't functioning right. It's like they had lost all common sense and were lost, staring into the red glowing flame with fear and uncertainty.
"WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Riza yelled. They weren't paying attention to her at all. Eurg… men… she sneered with an annoyed expression on her face and raised her pistol, pointing it straight in the air. This better get their attention. The loud crack of the gun at point-blank rage was the jolt they needed to knock them out of their current state. Havoc and Hughes screamed as loud as they could.
Armstrong's senses quickly came back to realty. Without missing a beat he grabbed the two screaming men. "Come on boys, it's time to move! This form of sprinting has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" he roared and charged away and out of harm. Hughes and Havoc clinging to each of Armstrong's muscular arms, praying that he wouldn't drop them and that Roy's flame wouldn't kill them. Armstrong easily cleared the flame's area of attack and got them out of the way.
Riza gave a relived smile when she saw they were now safe. Then she looked up and saw the flame right above her. She didn't have time to run away. All she could do was jump inside one of the nasty stinking dumpsters. I can't believe I have to do this. He is so dead when this blows over. She thought, but she knew it was either that, or die in a ring of fire. Riza ran as fast as she could to the nearest dumpster, held her nose, jumped in, and closed the lid with a loud clang. She knew the fire couldn't get her in there.
The flame hit the ground hard. The impact sounded like a bomb explosion. The heat hitting the dumpster was immeasurable. It popped the rubber tires and melted some of the metal. Riza was lucky and didn't suffer any injuries. For a moment she didn't know if she could breathe because of the intense heat. The hot air made her throat and lungs burn like mad and her eyes water. After the flame disappeared the alley looked totally different. It looked like there really was a bomb explosion. The concrete was now black and charred. The plastic bags had melted into the ground and the other stray trash had evaporated in the flames. All the trashcans had been knocked over and the garbage inside them burned furiously creating a few small fires, but nothing serious. The smoke was so thick it was a dark black color and awful to breathe. It felt like there was tar in it and it clogged your windpipe when you inhaled it.
"Where's Riza?" Hughes asked as they ran back to the area. He was covering his mouth and nose with his blue sleeve to keep at least some of the nasty smoke out. Even after it was over the intense heat still radiated in the area, it made the men's eyes water and sting. After a few minutes the wind picked up and began blowing the dark smoke away. Roy just stood in his current position. His arms were folded over his chest. He watched, curious to find out what happened to his new Second Lieutenant.
"I don't see her. I think she got away. There'd be body if she was still here," Havoc replied. None of them could believe the damage Roy had inflicted on the alley and the fact it was only one flame made it even more unbelievable.
"Then where is she?" Hughes replied as they looked around the alley. They checked every nook and cranny. If she was knocked out and hurt they didn't want to miss her.
Riza pushed up hard on the dumpster lid, but the weight was too much for her to lift. Not only that, but the heat had melted the three of the four corners on the lid making it almost impossible to lift.
"Second Lieutenant Hawkeye? Are you here? Can you hear me?" she heard Armstrong say in his normal tone. Then she felt a big jerk and she fell forward, hitting her head on the wall of the dumpster. Armstrong had moved it forward to see if she made gotten behind it.
Riza rubbed her sore head for a moment then it hit her. They're out there looking for me. I can get out. She began pounding on the wall of the dark dumpster with her fists. It was too dark to see anything and the rotten stench of old food began to make her feel sick.
Armstrong heard the pounding on the inside of the dumpster. "Hmmm… I think she's in here."
Hughes ran over to the huge metal can while Havoc casually walked over. "Riza, are you ok?" Hughes yelled as he put his ear against the dumpster, hoping to hear Riza's reply.
"GET ME OUT! IT STINKS!" he heard her yell.
Hughes stood up straight and put his hands on the lid trying to lift it, but he couldn't get it to budge either. "Havoc, give me a hand with this," he said as he pushed. Havoc walked up next to him and began pushing. They couldn't do it even with the both of them.
Armstrong watched the two men struggle and walked up behind them, laying a big hand on their little shoulders. His blond mustache made the shape of a smile as the little pink shapes retuned to his face. "Let me get this, boys. Lifting things such as this have been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!" he said as Havoc and Hughes were more or less pushed out of the way. Armstrong grabbed one end of the dumpster lid and began tugging. It quickly began to give way as he peeled the lid off, like a can opener.
Once the lid was of Armstrong threw it across the alley and Riza's head quickly shot out of the dumpster, gasping for a breath of fresh air.
"Riza, are you alright?" Hughes asked as he ran up next to the dumpster, "Eww, you stink," he said as he grabbed his nose. Riza gave him an annoyed look.
"I'm fine," she said as she climbed out of the smelly pit. Her black boots hit the ground with a 'squish' noise. She looked down and saw this disgusting green liquid clinging to the fabric of her pants from about her knees down. It looked like green slime and smelled like the specialty meat they had for lunch last month. Riza got the sickest look on her face. She bent over a little. The closer you got the nastier it smelled. She wasn't sure if she wanted to wipe it off or not in fear the smell would cling to her hands.
Armstrong, Hughes, and Havoc stared at Riza's legs with a 'boy I'm glad I didn't try that' look on their faces. Roy was a little angry that Riza didn't fry, but this quickly made up for it. He got an amused smile on his face as he yelled, "That's gonna stain you know!"
Riza glared up at him. That made her even angrier then the fighting before. She didn't care about her hands for that moment. She bent over and reached down then she ran her fingers up and down her pant legs trying to get as much of the gook as she could. Once she had a reasonable amount she looked up at Roy with a sweet smile, "Once you superior men find out how to get the stain out, CALL ME!" she yelled and threw the green slime as hard as she could. The ball Riza had made didn't last long. As it went airborne it began to fall apart and some of it landed on pavement with a sticky nasty splash.
Roy's eyes were on the nasty green gook. This is what Riza was counting on. She wanted to use it to get his attention and it worked. She quickly pulled out her gun and pointed it at Roy. She wasn't going to shoot him. Just do enough damage that he'd get all the crap about women and men's jobs out of his head. She was about to pull the trigger when a booming voice was heard.
"Stop this right now!" a man shouted as he walked out him front of Riza. It was a big dark skinned man. He was very tall, muscular, and had a black mustache. He was known as Basque Gran and he was the Brigadier General.
Riza, Havoc, Armstrong, and Hughes all stopped dead in their tracks and saluted the not so friendly looking General. He stood perfectly straight, he's uniform held several different medals and his big arms were folded behind his back. They sat low near the bottom of his back. He sneered at them all. Apparently one of the soldiers that had seen Roy's office ran and told him there was a big fight. He thought it made the military look bad, which made him look bad, so he came to stop it. "What do you think is going on here?" he roared. Even Roy looked kind of nervous.
Riza was the most nervous of all. Remember that green slime ball she threw? Yup... it was heading right over Gran's big head and was still falling apart at a rapid pace. "Permission to speak, sir?" she asked in her 'perfect solider' tone.
"Denied, you have no reason to say anything unless it's to explain what you were thinking in that idiot head of yours when you started this up," Gran snapped back.
"But sir," Hughes tried to cut in, he too saw the slime.
"Dishonorable, first you start a fight and let it explode into this," he glanced at the alleyway. "And then you think it's ok to talk to me like that. You're all a disgrace to this city and this military."
Oh no... Oh please no... Riza thought as she glanced at the slime ball then at Gran. She didn't want him to notice her amber eyes slipping away from him every now and then.
"I want an explanation now!" he snapped and pointed his finger at the ground in front of him. Just as soon as he said 'now' and his finger lined up with the ground below it the slime came oozing down on top of him, at a very fast pace. Everyone's jaw nearly dropped. Riza closed her eyes tight as they slime fell right across General Gran. There was a line of nasty green on the ground. It began about three feet from him then made its way to his body and up his perfect navy blue uniform, it went up his chest and fell across his left shoulder then it ran down his back.
That's not good. Riza's dead, let's just hope I don't get blamed for that. Roy thought as he looked down at his subordinates.
Gran lifted his left arm. There was green slime on his sleeve. His body tensed in anger as he stared at the nasty stuff. His head snapped up to the soldiers and his voice was booming, louder then it was before and Roy's flame explosion combined. "I want to see all of you in the Fuhrer's office as of now!"