(Five)
Gambit stomped into the lower level's public men's room, his anger more than he could control. Of all the possible reunion scenarios he had envisioned, this nightmare hadn't even come close. This was almost like not even having Kimble back at all. The fun loving Siskan who loved to dance and eat cupcakes was gone, or maybe his own memory had been distorted by loss and time, he no longer knew for certain.
What he did know was the empathy boost Kimble had given him was no picnic. Yes, he had Shi'ow-ri, but that last painful conversation had scraped his mind raw. He knew he had bonded with Kimble, it had shown itself in the level of relief he had felt when the Siskan had been returned, but that same bond had him feeling all of Kimble's pain and it hurt.
This was so unfair! Kimble was a Siskan Courtesan, a creature made for fun and pleasure, a companion that was designed to be the best friend a Master could have. That beautiful creature had been badly ruined and corrupted at the hands of selfish, careless users and it burned Gambit raw. What right did anyone have to do such a thing? To treat Kimble like he wasn't even a real person with feelings? And now that it was done, what the heck was he supposed to do about it? He was just one guy, just a simple thief. It was so fucking unfair!
Fueled by bitter disappointment and resentment for the mess now dumped into his lap, he turned to the stalls and screamed in anger, punching and kicking the nearest metal side panel. He abused it severely, breaking the brackets that attached it to the wall and almost causing it to collapse. He felt a sharp lancing pain in his left wrist, a warning. The pain made him stop, some sensibility returning. He stood as he was, fighting the urge to scream and bawl like an outraged child. It was a tough fight. He didn't give in, but was forced to shut his eyes tight against angry tears of frustration. The emotional instability he had felt in Boston was back full swing, making his stomach cramp. He didn't know what was worse, his helplessness in not being able to meet Kimble's needs or his roller coaster emotions. They certainly weren't helping him now, not one bit.
He startled when the door to the men's room creaked open. Before he could move, there was a soft rush of air and then he felt familiar arms around him. He jerked and looked up with tear blurred eyes up into Molly's face, mortified with embarrassment when he saw who it was. "Aw, jeez, chere. Dis ain't no good time!"
She humphed at him and tried to get him to lay against her but he pulled away, still angry. He turned away and went to the sinks, starting one and splashing cold water on his face. He was humiliated beyond belief that she had caught him almost crying. He had lost control, something that hadn't happened since he had come back from New Orleans. It wasn't something he wanted her or anyone else to see. He couldn't let anyone think he was cracking up, it was bad enough that Kimble was off his rocker, he couldn't have anyone thinking he was, too.
He dried his face and looked at her, half hoping that she would have left while he washed. No such luck, she was leaning against the wall near the door, not caring in the least about where she was. He sighed angrily, venting and relaxing some, and leaned against the sinks, not wanting to look at her. He was still embarrassed at his outburst and wasn't quite sure what to say. He reached into his pocket and took out a pack of smokes, lighting one. He had been very good about not smoking lately - not that it kept him from having that emergency pack of smokes at the ready - but right now he was much too pissed off to say no.
Molly coughed at him.
He looked up at her. "Oui, chere?"
What's going on?
"Nuthin'."
Doesn't look like nothing.
He sighed again and angrily scrubbed his hands against his scalp, making a mess of his hair and then running his fingers through it, smoothing it back. He had no idea what to say. He couldn't explain something as complicated as what he felt for Kimble to anyone.
Molly coughed at him again. Try again.
"Kimble... Kimble... He —Urghhh!" Remy snarled, unable to focus his thoughts.
Molly laughed.
"Quoi? You t'ink all dis funny?"
No. Just you. He's your friend and he pissed you off.
Remy squinted at her.
What? Guys can't have feelings? I know you care for him, your scent gets all screwed up around him. This was the absolute truth. Remy hadn't been unable to hide the depth of his distress from her, not when he had first brought Kimble home and was fruitlessly trying to find a way to fix him. She had seen the look on his face and knew he was suffering. Remy was suffering because Kimble was suffering. She had heard the others whisper about some strange bond between her thief and this strange Siskan. Now that she had seen them together, she had no doubt it was true. Molly smiled at him in sympathy and asked, Things not going the way you expected?
"Sumptin' like dat, yeah. He pushin' me away."
Why?
Remy squirmed, uncomfortable.
She snorted at him. What? Can't talk to me because I'm a girl?
"Gambit say he Kimble's Master and de ungrateful fuck tol' me to get lost. Happy now?"
Molly laughed. Yes. Don't you feel better?
He smiled at her, charmed by her challenge. "Sure. Don't 'elp me wit de problem, though."
That's easy. Since when does the servant have the right to chose who's the Master? If he's your property, don't let him push you around. Make him do what you want, not the other way around. It's for his own good, right? You're not going to use him for anything bad?
Remy relaxed finally, letting her in. "Non. Gambit just want him all better again, dat's all. Been lookin' fo' 'im all dis time. Guess I t'ought he would be glad to see me. Dat sick fuck Saby ripped his poor 'eart all to shreds. He got Kimble so twisted 'round, he don't know who he is no more. What am I gonna do?"
Molly slowly walked over to him. Let him know you love him. It will be enough. Just you wait and see. Let him know you'll wait for him, no matter how long it takes.
They locked eyes and for a moment, he wasn't sure who she was talking about. "Chere..."
She came up close and reached for him, using his coat collar to bring his face to hers. She kissed him, a little more chaste than their last, but making her point. She released him to speak. Don't be afraid to talk to me. He's your friend. He means a lot to you. You mean a lot to me. I'll help you with whatever you need. Anything to make you laugh and smile again.
"Molly..." he said, taking her into his arms and holding her tight. "You don't know how badly Gambit really needed to 'ear dat."
She laughed and he felt her happiness pour into him.
He gave her another squeeze and then gently pushed her back. "P'etetre, Gambit gonna step on 'is own foot 'ere, chere, but you listen up. Gambit care a great deal 'bout you, but you still so young. You can't be wastin' yo' time waitin' on me."
It's my life.
"Non, Gambit's just yo' first crush."
No, he's not.
" 'Scuze'-moi?"
Tommy Jenkins. He was a guard at the SHIELD place I was at before I came here. He was very nice to me, a proper gentleman. He saw I was sad and he used to tell me jokes all the time to make me laugh.
"You a fool for a clown den?"
Absolutely. He was a lot older than you and more handsome.
"Oh, now you damagin' my ego, chere," he said with a laugh.
You kiss better, though.
"Oui? You kiss dis guy, too?"
It was hard with the face mask and all, but we managed! she teased, breaking up into giddy laughter.
"You a silly girl!" he laughed and grabbed for her, tickling her and fooling around. This Remy had needed, a play break. It was platonic and simple fun, something that dispersed that anger like an unwanted cloud. It was gone in a flash and he was laughing like a little kid, enjoying himself immensely. They were wrapped around each other, fingers jammed in sensitive places, when the door opened, followed by a manly protest.
"Hey! This is the men's room! Geez, Remy! Get a room, all right?" Bobby said, his face crinkled in amused irritation.
" 'Ey! She de one followed me in 'ere!" Remy sputtered in protest, unable to stop from laughing.
"I thought Karen taught you to read," Bobby continued to tease, switching targets to Molly. He held the door open and pointed to the symbol there. "See? Men's Room. Men's Room. Got that?"
Men's room. Right. She laughed and walked out, dragging Remy behind her. As the door closed, they heard Bobby next start to complain about the big dents Remy had made to the metal stall. She started to lug a snickering Gambit to the elevator but he stopped her when he saw the bundle of bedclothes he had taken from Kimble's cell. He had dragged them along, a reminder that he had someone to see.
"Hold up dere, chere. I gotta talk to 'Enry."
How about I make us something to eat?
"Sounds great. I'll be right up."
She smiled at him and walked off to the elevator, still laughing softly to herself.
You one crazy t'ief, if you be t'inkin' bout dat girl, Remy chided himself as he watched her leave. Impossible that Anya would have him paired with one so young. He couldn't legally touch her for at least two more years. Anya must have meant someone else, he was certain of it, but just who it was was still a mystery.
He sighed and walked away, going into the lab. Henry and Fallen were there talking softly, she was teaching him how to build one of the larger cloaking devices for the Blackbird.
Remy cleared his throat. "I need to talk to you 'bout Kimble."
Henry looked up at him with a warm smile of greeting. "Yes?"
" 'E say 'e's in trouble. He can't get warm and 'is feet 'urt."
Fallen stood in surprise. "He spoke to you? He hasn't been speaking to anyone."
"P'etetre, you didn't ask him de right way," Remy replied arrogantly. Her reaction had resparked some of his anger at how no one ever seemed to get Kimble. His frustration came out in the sharpness of his tone, he was more than willing to give her some of the blame and let her have it. She blanched and stepped back, wounded. Gambit didn't care. He continued to speak to Henry. "I don' like 'ow cold he is. Dis cold, it coming from de inside out. Don' let 'im cover up no more, s'il vous plait."
Henry cocked his head at him. He was unsure what was really going on here. The thief was obviously distressed, but Fallen hadn't deserved that little snap. Remy was stressed out over Kimble and it might be affecting his judgement, the thief could be jumping at straws. "Are you sure?"
"Absolument. Check it if you don' believe me," Remy snorted, irritated at having to say the obvious. How was it no one else could see this? Of course he was forgetting that he had Shi'ow-ri as a helper and the others did not.
Henry wasn't angry, but he didn't back down. He was probing as he replied, "Funny how you figured that out and I did not."
Remy paused, seeing something in Henry's eyes. Beast wanted to know how he found out and his first reaction was to be defensive. Still uncertain about his new power, Gambit chose to avoid the details and lowered his voice, backing off. He deflected the jab with a question. "Why he so cold in de firs' place?"
"The plasma raised his body temperature. He's not used to being so cool now without it. He's stabilized, his temperature's not dropping as rapidly," Henry explained. He looked at Gambit curiously, seeing his evasiveness as well as his obvious concern. He wasn't sure if this was Remy taking his role of Master very seriously or something else.
"Stabilized? 'E sits dere all spaced out, drool all comin' outta 'is mouth, different voices talkin' all at once, an' you call dat stabilized?!" Gambit snarled, angry all over again and fisting his hands. He was still upset about the difficult conversation he had just had with his friend and it was coming up on him again.
"Easy, now, Remy. He's all right. He just has to recover. All he needs is time."
"An' his feet?"
"Only time will tell, my friend. I assure you he is getting the best care I can provide for him. In a couple of days I'll move him out here to the infirmary. He won't be so alone there."
"He can't leave de cell, not wit'out SHIELD authorization."
"I'll get it."
"He need a plasma charge."
"I won't have him on plasma, Remy. It's much too dangerous. Even if I didn't feel that way, we have no plasma producers in house right now. You and Fallen should be able to sustain him with Ristle, even if he's on low power for a while. It'll have to do until we figure something else out."
Remy started to protest further, but the phone rang. Henry answered it and said it was for Remy, but when the thief tried to beg off, he said it was from Tante Mattie, Jean Luc's healer and the thief's surrogate mother. She never called here, it had to be something bad. Gambit cursed softly and took the phone. "Bonjour, Tante. What's goin' on, mon chere?"
Henry stood close by and frowned when he saw Remy close his eyes and turn away. "Oui, oui. I'll be dere. Next t'ing smokin'. What? Non, non. Don' send Philippe...oui, oui, he got 'is pilot's licence, yes, but de boy's gonna crash us. De boy can't even drive a car, I ain't gettin' in no plane wit 'im. I got a man at La Guardia, he'll fly me down, bien? Oui, oui...je t'aime aussi, Tante, oui. Au revoir."
Gambit set the phone down and covered his face for a moment. Henry lay a large blue hand on Remy's shoulder, their uncomfortable conversation forgotten. "You okay?"
Remy nodded. "My father, dey say he takin'a turn fo' de worse. I gotta go. Dis...dis not a good time," he complained, rubbing his eyes in frustration. What spectacularly bad timing, he had more than he could handle with Kimble, and now this.
"You do what you have to. I'll look after Kimble for you, you just take care of what you have to and come back when it's done," Henry said, pulling Remy close and hugging him whether he wanted it or not. The thief looked like he was ready to fall down. "Remember your medicines. Try not to drink too much."
Gambit couldn't help but smile at the big man. He hadn't told Beast that his cures had failed where his Tante's had not. He wouldn't now. "Don' worry. Tante keep a good eye on me."
"How long will you be gone?" Fallen asked, concerned. She knew he had to go but had been hoping that he could get Kimble to talk about what happened to him.
"Don' know. Could be awhile. Got some Guild business I been puttin' off, too," he said, thinking more about Babette than that really. Maybe he could turn this trip around into something good. If he could find her again, maybe she could take him to her Master. He needed answers to all of this. Something, anything to stop this pain. He looked at Fallen. "I'll keep in touch. I want to know 'ow Kimble's doin'. Spend time wit 'im. Don't leave 'im all alone." He stood straight and walked out with his head down.
"I've been sitting with him," Fallen protested to the empty space he had left.
"It's all right, Fallen. Don't worry. Kimble's in good hands." Henry watched Gambit go, knowing there was more going on here than Remy was letting on. He had never seen Remy this upset about anyone else before except Rogue. He wasn't sure what to do about it, if anything, but he at least whispered a soft prayer for Gambit's safe trip and hoped things would get better. In the meantime, he would check out the hints Gambit had given him about Kimble and see if he could do something to help one of the pair if not the other.
(break)
Remy packed a bag, thrusting clothes into it mindlessly. He knew he shouldn't be leaving now, but he had no choice. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Jean Luc passed away while he was gone. At least Kimble was supposedly stable, he could hang for a while until he got back. Kimble asked for space, looked like he was going to get it. He didn't look up as Logan leaned in the doorway.
"Where you goin', Gumbo?"
"My father is sick, I gotta go."
"You can't wait? Kimble just got back."
" 'E's gonna die. Jean Luc...'e..'e ain't gonna make it. I 'ave to go."
Remy paused in his packing and covered his face as he felt himself rip deep inside. His father was dying, he had to go and Kimble's hateful words still rang in his ears. He would have to get good and drunk on the plane to recover from this.
Logan waited, smelling the depth of Remy's distress. Like Henry he could see Gambit was messed up, but more than that, he could smell it. That same sickness he had picked up on Remy back in Baltimore was here and back like a cancer that just wouldn't quit. It had been thankfully absent since Remy had come back from New Orleans but now it had returned, unwelcome like bad news. Unable to do anything about it, Logan left it in Remy's hands. "I'll keep an eye on your Kimble," Logan promised soothingly, the least he could do, Remy's body was screaming tortured pain.
"Kimble's real sick, not just in his mind. His body's too cold. 'Enry gonna take care of 'im de best he can, but Gambit's worried 'bout de bounty, aussi, 'bout de hawks circlin'. Jael still out dere."
"Nobody's gonna come in here, that's I promise I know I can keep. Even if Creed himself walked in here he ain't leavin' in one piece."
Remy squinted up at him. "You t'ink dat sick fuck still alive?"
"If there's anything I've learned in all this time, it's that with Sabretooth, anything's possible."
"If he does come back, don' let Saby take my Kimble, comprenez? I don' know what dat freak did to him, but he's got Kimble's head twisted so far 'round dat boy don' know which way 'e's goin'." Remy sniffed impatiently and sighed. "He's broken for real, 'is mind all shattered. He still say 'e don't deserve ta live, he want us to kill him."
"It ain't gonna happen. Don't you worry."
"It would be better, you know? Better dan livin' wit dat bon'a rien, morceau de merde Sabretoot' if 'e come back. Never t'ought I would ever say dat."
"It ain't gonna come to that. I got this place locked up tight. Take what time you need." Logan waited a moment before saying, "Seems to me Kimble ain't the only one who's got his head all twisted around. You sure you made the right choice, leavin' him right now?"
"Non. Gambit ain't so sure 'bout anyt'ing. Jus' dat 'e got obligations, comprenez? My father got de cancer, what am I supposed to do? He's gonna die, I have to go."
"That ain't what I meant. I know you ain't said goodbye to Rogue an' yer not going to. But I'll bet my bottom dollar you'll see Kim 'fore ya go. Maybe you should make a choice, the right choice."
"What does dat mean?" Gambit questioned a bit sharply, uncertain where Logan was going with this.
Logan shifted, looking at him with some interest. He hadn't expected the thief to be so defensive and it piqued his curiosity. "The whole time you been here, how many times has Chuck asked you to sponsor someone?"
The question wasn't what Gambit had expected. This was a big school with kids coming in all the time, some of them with emotional problems that needed a little extra looking after. Charles had set up a sponsoring program where some of the senior staff took on these cases, similar to a "Big Brother" program.
" 'E ask me twice."
"And your answer?"
"Bot' times, Gambit say non."
"Ever wonder why that was?"
Remy shrugged. "Just never appealed to me."
"So why then is it yer lookin' after Kimble so hot and heavy? Got to be some kind of reason for that. I've never seen you care so much for anyone besides Rogue."
"I ain't in love wit' 'im if dat's what you sayin', you pervert!" Remy blurted out just a little too quickly in response to the suggestive statement. It was out of his mouth before he could stop it and it hung there in the air, too late to be taken back.
Logan just gave a slow, sly smile, his eyes bright with the thought of something gained. "Well now, that sounded just a wee bit defensive if ya ask me, not that I was makin' any kind of suggestion 'bout the two of you. But seein' as how you brought it up, when yer gone, you best give this a lot of thought. I been watchin' you and Rogue rip each other to bits over stupid, silly shit. Kimble ain't never done that to you. I care fer the both of ya, you an Rogue, but he makes yer face light up in a way she never does. I never thought I'd ever say something like this, but maybe yer the best chance that boy's got of makin' it outta here with alla his marbles. Yer the best one of us to be the Master of him. The two of you need each other, anybody can see that. If ya take him fer yer lover ain't nobody gonna care, boy."
Remy was still for a moment, thinking, somewhat stunned that Logan would articulate something so personal. He turned away, not able to look Logan in the eyes as he shoved the last of his clothes into his bag. "Anya say Gambit gonna 'ave 'is 'appy time, neh? Wife, kids. What about dat? She say I already met my wife! Merde!" Remy snorted in anger. "Couldn't even 'ave Kimble if I wanted to - and I ain't sayin' I do. Can't 'ave a wife and Kimble at de same time. Fallen push Kim aside fo' Seth and he left. Creed push Kim aside fo' some girl, too, and he broke. It'll be de same wit me, he just about said so."
"He left Fallen 'cause she ignored him. You won't do that, even if ya have a wife. You've learned a thing 'r two about loyalty in yer time here. Charlie's seen ta that. Kimble's your friend if nothing else. You can have them both."
Remy tossed his head in frustration, zipping up his bag and tossing it over his shoulder. "P'etetre, all Anya say is a crock of shit."
"She hasn't been wrong about anything yet, Cajun. Some things just take time. Kimble needs you, you need him. Maybe you two can see each other through this an' heal yerselves...together. The rest will work itself out."
Remy sniffed and nodded. He wanted only to get going. The sooner he got on the plane, the sooner he could get drunk. "I'll t'ink about it."
"Don't stay away long. You watch yourself, keep safe."
Gambit nodded and walked out.