This chapter is short and simple. Susan tries to talk some sense into Luka.

Chapter 3

Luka ran to the El and waited for the train that would take him back to his apartment. He didn't know if she was ok but he could only imagine that if she were he couldn't see her anymore. He didn't want to. He felt awful for accusing her like that and that his accusations caused her to go into respiratory distressed.

"I can't go back there. I can't hurt her." He repeated. He reached his apartment and slammed the door behind him. The radio in the bedroom was playing softly. He could barely make out the lyrics but he had heard the song before.

"…If we made a big mistake.

I tried to go on like I never knew you

I'm awake but my world is half-asleep

I pray for this heart to be unbroken

But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete."

He sat down on the floor in the hallway, half way to his bedroom, and began to cry. Harder than he had since his family died in Croatia. There was a knock at his door. He tried to ignore the persistent pounding until he couldn't take it anymore. Finally, he rose to his feet and wiped off his face. Opening the door he was greeted but the presence of Susan Lewis.

"Luka, what happened?" She asked. Her voice sounded concerned and annoyed at the same time. It amazed him how only she seemed to be able to do that.

"I don't want to talk about it Susan." He walked away from the door and sat down on his couch placing his head in his hands. "How is she? Is she ok?" He was afraid to look at her.

"She's fine. She's asking for you but she has a protective watch over her room. Dr. Mathis has demanded that you not come back. Every nurse in the nurse's station heard you yelling at her. She didn't know she was pregnant Luka. I talked to her, she's very hurt. I've never seen her cry before." Susan sighed and walked over to him. "What were you thinking. You knew she was in recovery. You don't upset patients that are in recovery!" She was yelling at him now.

"I know Susan! I don't know what came over me. First I was afraid of losing her and then I heard she was pregnant." He sighed and finally met her glare. "I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. She told me she was negative and that she didn't want to have children with me anyway. That Alex was a mistake and she didn't want to make another. How was I suppose to feel?" He demanded answers from Susan that he knew she couldn't answer.

Susan was in awe at the sight before her eyes. Luka was always calm and collected no matter what the situation. He'd never seen him break like this. Abby told her about how he looked in the trauma room when they brought Sam in. She was right, it was almost unbearable to see.

Suddenly, breaking the silence the song that was on the radio in the car yesterday came on again. Luka's emotions got the best of him and he ran into the bedroom and threw the radio against the wall. Susan jumped when she heard to crash of the stereo hitting the wall. She ran into the room.

"What was that about?" She asked. He didn't answer. "You need to seriously think about what you are going to do next. She has a long hard recovery ahead of her. You need to be there for that. Sam said that Steve was contacted and he agreed to take Alex while she is in recovery. She cried when she heard the news but agreed." Luka's expression changed from sorrow to anger.

"What? He is the last person that needs to be taking care of Alex!"

"Well unfortunately you weren't there to talk her into other arrangements. I'm sorry Luka but until she is out of the hospital, for Dr. Mathis relief, I have to suspend you." That news didn't come to a surprise to him. He also didn't care. He heard her walk closer to him and place her hand on his back.

"We are here for you Luka. You have friends that will help you and Sam through this but you need to get it together." She left quickly, slamming the door behind her.

He walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Vodka out of the cabinet. Forgetting a glass, he turned the bottle up taking a long drag hoping once again to drown his pain with alcohol.