A/N: I am sorry about the long wait. Real life, plus some other writing things got in the way. I hope this chapter makes up for it; it is a bit short, but it is hard to carry on the emotion for an incredibly long time.

Thank yous to all of the reviewers, as well as the readers who didn't review. I hope you are enjoying this. There will be one last chapter (from Sanzo's point of view) and then the alternate chapter 3 as a bonus chapter.

Warning: This chapter does contain quite a bit of cussing, from both Gojyo and Sanzo. You have been warned.

Letting Go

Insane

That damn, smug priest. He was standing there, almost smirking at him. He hated him. Gojyo really did. He wanted nothing more than to cram his fist into his gut. It might make him feel better.

He didn't even really know what he was yelling anymore. He just…responded. Stuck some words together and let them leap off his tongue. He didn't care if Sanzo was going to shoot him; he just wanted to hurt him. Damn priest, didn't even care that Hakkai was gone! Didn't show any emotion or anything. Did he even know that the man was dead?

Gojyo doubted it. No one could know that someone was dead, gone forever, and not react to it. No one.

Of course, Gojyo couldn't see the way that Sanzo hand shook as he aimed the gun at the kappa. Didn't know that Sanzo wasn't sleeping at all. Had no idea that the death of Hakkai had affected him. All that he knew was the priest was still making them go on this fucking journey to the west, not even giving them enough time to make a decent headstone for Hakkai's grave!

How would anyone know who was buried there? How the hell would anyone know?

He was dead. He was gone. Hakkai wouldn't ever be there to laugh and smile and tell him to stop drinking. To remind him that they were out of food and needed to buy some more. Wouldn't drag him on those shopping trips, wouldn't ask him to carry the bags.

They'd never get back to Chang'an, to that little house that they had lived in for the past three years. Hakkai would never, ever again remind him that it was garbage day.

It was odd. Gojyo had always hated all those little things. Had hated how Hakkai would try to make sure that everything got done and made sure that Gojyo helped. Hated how he would nag him like he was his mother or something. And now…now Hakkai was gone and Gojyo wouldn't have anything like that anymore. If they ever got home he'd go back to that house and probably forget about the trash, forget to clean the place. He'd go out and gamble and pick up girls like he had done before he met Hakkai. He'd get drunk and wake up somewhere that he wouldn't recognize.

And for some reason, he didn't like that. Didn't like it at all. He didn't want to go back to that life.

It was so strange, so stupid, and it scared the hell out of him. He didn't want to think that he had become dependent on having some guy in his life to make sure that he didn't end up dead in some gutter. Not like anyone could kill him—

But that wasn't right. That wasn't right at all. If someone had asked him at the beginning of the trip who would go first…he wouldn't have said Hakkai. He would have said Sanzo, or himself. Hell, even the stupid monkey who was a lot stronger than he looked should have gone before Hakkai. He just…he wouldn't have thought that Hakkai would die first. Not Hakkai, who was normally smart enough to figure out if something was a trap. Not Hakkai, who was smart enough to know when and when not to fight.

Goddamn it. Hakkai should not have been the one to die.

Sanzo was still there, standing before him, that damn gun still pointed at his head. He said something—Gojyo wasn't even sure what the hell he said. He just knew that he took several steps forward, balled his hand into a fist, and swung for the priest's stomach.

He hit him. Hit him once, twice, and tried to hit him a third time. But that fucking priest had fired that damn gun. Gojyo wasn't even sure what had happened. There was a stabbing pain in his shoulder, then the gun was suddenly gone from Sanzo's hand and Gojyo felt himself being pulled away from the priest.

"You can't do that! You guys can't do that!"

Gojyo stumbled back against the wall, one hand clutching his shoulder. He hit the wall and slumped down to the ground. He stared at his hand. Was that…blood? He blinked rapidly, looking across the room. There was the gun, lying near the door. Sanzo was…Sanzo was crouched on the ground, holding his stomach.

"You're fucking dead," he heard him growl.

"Oh, come on. I doubt you can do it," Gojyo taunted, even as he had his hand clamped over his shoulder to try and stop the bleeding. Sanzo's face twisted and he tried to get to his feet. There was a blur—or, at least, Gojyo perceived it as a blur—and then Goku was there, holding Sanzo back.

"I told you guys to stop it!" The monkey's voice was shrill, more panicked than it should have been. "So stop it!"

"What the hell are you doing, Goku?" Sanzo tried to move, but the boy had him effectively pinned to the floor.

"Don't. Jus-just stop it, Sanzo. Please."

Gojyo frowned. The monkey wasn't acting quite normal. He shook his head. He didn't really care what was wrong with the boy. He removed his hand from his shoulder, moving the bloodied fabric of his shirt away so that he could see the wound. It wasn't deep or anything. Just a grazing. Nothing worse than wounds he had received before. Hell, he'd been hurt far worse than this. The time when they'd faced off with Chin Yisou came to mind. Now that had been a pretty bad injury. Getting shot with some damn seed thing, and then with a bullet. Come to think of it, that had been the first—and up till now, only—time that Sanzo had ever really shot him.

He wondered how much blood his was lossing. A fair amount, he supposed. Okay, maybe it was a deep wound. He'd have to get Hakkai to fix it—

He closed his eyes at the thought, letting his head fall back against the wall. Oh, fucking hell. Hakkai. He was dead.

He needed a drink. He needed a shit-load of alcohol and a pack of cigarettes.

"Guys," came Goku's voice. He sounded a bit…what was it? Choked? Strangled? Something like that. Gojyo opened his eyes. The monkey had released Sanzo, but was holding that gun so that the priest couldn't get it. "Sanzo, Gojyo. Can you just listen to me for a moment?"

"I'm not interesting in hearing that you're hungry," snarled Sanzo, glaring at Gojyo. "So sh—"

"Stop it! Just—I not hungry! I'm not! So stop ignoring me!"

"The monkey's not hungry," Gojyo said stupidly, trying to make some sense of the situation. "Has the world gone insane?"

Sanzo didn't say anything, just stared at the boy. "Then what the hell do you want?"

Goku was breathing raggedly, backing up to the window and sitting down on the chair. He scooped up Hakuryu in his arms, as though the dragon was some anchor to the real world.

"We can't do this anymore," he all but whispered. Gojyo frowned again. Goku sounded like he was about to cry. Since when did he cry? Sure, Gojyo had seen the monkey cry before. Rarely, but he had. He shook himself, trying to clear his head. Goddamn hangover. It was hard for him to think, to piece everything together. It just…nothing was making any sense to him.

"What can't we do, Goku?" asked Sanzo, his voice harsh. Gojyo glanced at him. Something was odd about the priest's words as well. No, not the words. The way that he said them. Gojyo was missing something, and he had no idea what it was.

Goku wrapped his arms around Hakuryu. The dragon was only just barely awake, his beady red eyes moving from Gojyo to Sanzo and back again. "W-we can't go on like this. We just can't keep fighting. I don't want to fight."

"We've got to fight if we want to survive, you stupid monkey," Gojyo said, wincing as he moved his shoulder. That damn priest and his damn gun. "Otherwise the youkai'll—"

"I'm not talking about th' youkai! I know that we got to fight th' youkai. But—" He saw Goku swallow, saw him take a deep breath. "But we can't keep fighting each other. He—Hakkai didn't like it. He wouldn'…he wouldn't want things to be like this." There was silence in the room as Goku looked down at Hakuryu, running a hand over the dragon's head.

When Goku looked up again, his eyes were brimming with tears. "Jeep's sick," he said, his voice wavering. "I don' know why…but I think it's something to do with Hakkai being gone. An' I don't think that he's gonna be able to travel today. An' I don't think that we are gonna be able to go anywhere, either." He bit down on his bottom lip, letting out a shaking breath.

Gojyo was still frowning. The monkey was making sense. He was actually saying something smart.

The world really was going insane.

"You guys can't do this anymore," Goku continued, looking down at the floor. "You can't keep trying to kill each other. You just can't. We've got to get to India an' stop this thing. It's what…it's what…" His voice began to falter. Hakuryu cheeped softly, lifting his head and looking up at Goku. This seemed to hearten the boy and Goku looked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "It's what Hakkai would have wanted. It's…that's why Hakkai's dead. We can't let him die for no reason. An' if we stop now…then it's an insult to Hakkai. He wouldn't have wanted us to stop."

There was another moment of silence, then Sanzo spoke.

"What do you want us to do, Goku?"

Gojyo's mouth dropped open. The priest was actually listening to Goku? Hell, he wouldn't be surprised it the world exploded, or if the sky turned orange with green spots. Either that, or this was some dream that the alcohol was giving him.

Goku seemed surprised as well, but he covered it easily. "W-we need to stay here another day, an' let Jeep get better. Then we've got to head west. Sanzo, you're always saying that we don't have time to stop. An' we can't. We've got to keep going. W-when we get back, we can visit Hakkai's grave an'…an' we can make a stone an' have a proper memorial. But we can't stop! We just can't! If we do, then there was no point to Hakkai dying! He wouldn't want us to stop! Sanzo, you got to listen to me! Just…" His voice dropped again, growing soft, turning almost pleading. "Just don't hurt Gojyo anymore. An' Gojyo, just stop. Just…we don't have Hakkai anymore. If you two hurt each other, we don't have anyone to fix either of you up."

Sanzo rose to his feet, walking over to Goku. "Give me my gun." Goku shrank back.

"Not until you promise not to shoot Gojyo anymore."

Sanzo's eyes narrowed.

"Goku—"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? Did you even listen? I—"

"I heard you! Damnit, Goku, give it back." Sanzo clenched his jaw, holding out his hand. "I. Won't. Shoot him again. All right?"

Goku tentatively reached out, placing the gun in Sanzo's hand. "We've got to bandage his shoulder. An' get the bullet out, if it's still in there."

Gojyo frowned, hearing the words. "Oi! Monke—"

"Don't call me monkey!"

It was like all of the things the kid was holding back had overflowed and now there was no way of stopping them.

"All right. Fine." Gojyo was so confused that he just wanted to get this whole thing over with. And then go and find some incredibly strong alcohol. "How the hell do you know so much? When did you grow up?"

Goku shrugged, setting down the dragon. "I-I actually listened to Hakkai. I kinda know some stuff…Sanzo, you're gonna have to help me, though."

Sanzo crossed his arms. "No way in hell."

"Sanzo! I can't do this myself! I just can't!"

With an irritable sigh, Sanzo followed Goku over to where Gojyo sat against the wall. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

Gojyo just stared. The priest was actually helping with something. Sanzo, who never did anything, had just caved to the pleading of Goku and was helping.

The world had gone insane. He was sure of it.

A/N2: And there it is. Gojyo's a bit out of it in this one, though I think anyone would be after all he's been through. Goku's acting a bit more mature than normal, though I don't think it is really that odd. I figure that he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for. And he listens to Hakkai, so he's probably picked up some stuff from him.

Anyway, there are references to volume four, where Gojyo gets shot by Sanzo, and to volume five, which tells of how they all met.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter,

Raven