AN: "Hey guys, do you remember me? Do you do you do?" I'm Jazz!" (Jazz is in quotes, I am not) Hi ya'll how ya doing? "Tell them I said hi! Please tell them!" Jazz says hi. There I told them. "Yay!" waves arms around. Now on to the author notes! "Yay, Author notes! Wait… what's an author note?"

Hi guys! SOOOO sorry this took SOOO long to update. The wiring in my house went out and we had to rewire the WHOLE thing. Anyway, sorry for making you wait and here's the next chapter! I forgot to do this earlier… I think... ANYWAYS! I don't own FMA or any of the characters in it! I trust you know who they are… BUT… I DO own everyone else who's name you don't recognize! Well... I do and I don't… many of them were made up by readers from when this was posted the first time. They gave them a name and a face, and I kinda just brought them to life. Yes… there are A LOT of them... a whole town's worth. If you want to use any of them in any of your fics please ask me first, and if they were made up by someone else I'll ask them if they are ok to use!

Jasmine Hawkeye-Mustang: Nope, I'm not mad at all. I think I read that story. I remember Roy having to take care of a little girl named Jazzy. Plus, they aren't the same character, so, I'm not mad at all. Jazzy is yours not mine.

Reiya-Chan: Yes, I have seen the end. I've been very busy with FMA. What questions would those be exactly? I like your name by the way, it's pretty!

Apparation07: Umm… well… I think I stopped on chapter 39... so a ways. Sorry it's taking forever. It is because I'm not updating very much. Sorry about that!

The Way to a Man Isn't by Crushing His Ego Chapter 23: Finding Friends and Falling Through Floors

"Come on, Miss Riza, hurry up!" Jazz said as she pulled Riza down the flights of stairs. They had already made it to the second floor. They were heading down to the first.

"Ok, ok, be careful. Don't trip," Riza replied as she tried her best to not fall down the stairs. Trying to jump over missing stairs while standing partly bent over because a little girl was clinging to your wrist wasn't the easiest thing in the world.

"I won't trip," Jazz said as she jumped over a stair. That did it, she jumped but Riza hadn't made it that far down yet. Trying to stay balanced enough along with the pulling on Riza's arm and then the jerk down from the little girl's jump caused her to topple over. She fell forward.

"Eh!" Riza said as surprise overcame her face. It all went so fast. One moment she was behind Jazz, the next moment she heard a thud, and then a bunch of little thuds. There was a slight pain in parts of her body as the thuds continued. The whole world appeared to be spinning as she rolled down the stairs.

"Yikes!" Jazz crouched down in the corner against the wall just in time. She was small enough that Riza had fallen over her.

Just as Riza was about to reach the bottom of the stairs she became aware of what was going on. There's no way I'm falling through that floor. She thought as she regained herself and as she did one last flip she planted one foot firmly on the ground below her, stopping the fall. "That was close," Riza said with a sigh. Her body was sideways, one foot was pushed up against the side on about the 4th or 5th stair up, her other leg was fully extended, her boot firmly on the floor holding her up. Both arms were curved under her chest, resting on the two stairs below her upper body. Her face was mere inches from the ground and her butt was more or less pointed in the air. She looked up from the dirty floor. She glanced up and saw Big Red lying in front of her.

"Miss Riza! Are you ok?" Jazz asked as she ran down the stairs. She almost fell through one of the weaker stairs, but the hast that was in her step let her glide to the next stair before she fell through. "Are you?" Jazz asked as she neared the bottom, when she was a non-lethal distance from the floor she jumped from the stairs and onto the floor. Then she kneeled beside Riza. "Hey? Are you hurt?" Jazz asked again as she put her chest down close to the floor, she wanted to look into Riza's face. She saw an annoyed expression on her face. "Huh?" the girl asked as she looked in the direction Riza's eyes where focused in. "Oh, Red," she said with a smile as she saw the man lying maybe a foot away.

"Ouuuuuhhhhhoooooo," the smelly man moaned as he tried to turn over. "What is it?" he asked. His voice was slurred as he tried to answer the tiny girl.

Jazz sort of hopped over to Big Red, not moving from her crouching position. "Are you ok? Are you? Are you? Huh?" she asked with a curious smile as she couched down lower to the ground, her hands wrapped around her bent knees. "Are you?" She asked again. Her long messy black hair rested on the dirty floor as she bent over. Her face almost upside down as she stared at him with big innocent brown eyes.

"Uhhhmmmm," he grunted as he tried to open his eye lids. They slowly opened. It looked almost as though they where pasted shut with light brown eye crust. There was sawdust and little chucks of wood all over his body. "Ouh," he grunted again, some dust around his mouth was kicked up as his rancid breath passed under the small specks of dirt.

"Red? You whoooooo. Red," Jazz chimed as she sat up then began moving her small hand back and forth in front of Big Red's dirt covered face. "Can ya hear me? Can ya? Huh? Can ya? Can you hear me now?"

"Ohhh," he whined as he slid his droopy lobes open again. His eyes fluttered a bit as he tried to get them to focus. Then they slowly closed again.

Riza still glared at him. Her eyes began to flame with annoyance. She didn't speak or move. His sour stench was filling her nostrils, making them burn.

This isn't working. Jazz thought to herself as she looked over Big Red's face. She sat up even straighter and took a deep breath. So deep you could see her chest expand with air.

What's she up to? Riza wondered as her attention was taken of Red and fixed on little Jazz.

Once Jazz's chest felt like it was going to burst from taking in all the air she held it in and bent over next to his face. "REEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" she shouted so loud Riza thought the whole building was going to collapse.

CRRRREEEEEAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!

"Uh!" Riza said as her eyes flashed to the ceiling. She quickly stood up, ready to grab Jazz and dash to the door if it started to cave in.

"What? What is it!" Red's eyes suddenly popped open as he spooked like a horse. His brown eyes looked bloodshot. "Uh… what?" he asked as he view came into focus. He looked forward and saw black boots in front of him. "Huh?" he said in a confused tone as his eyes traced the black boots and up the body that stood in front of him. When they came to rest on Riza's face they widened.

"Hey, uh, wait, don't," Riza began as she saw his eyes get wider and wider. She put up her hand in a 'please stop' motion.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Big red screamed as he scrambled to his feet and headed toward the door.

"Wait!" Riza snapped.

"GAHHHHHHH, DON'T SHOOT ME!" Big Red cried as he tried to get away, but kept tripping over his feet. Jazz smiled and chuckled.

"Just stop!" Riza ordered in military fashion as Big Red ran away. He kept his head turned back toward the girls, watching for a gun.

"Oh, watch out!" Jazz said. But it was too late. Big Red hadn't been watching where he was going and tripped over Dino's limp body. "Ahahahahahaha. It tried to warm you!" Jazz said as she laughed.

Once Red's large body landed on Dino's you could almost hear the air in Dino's body being forced out in a soft 'ppppfuuuuuu' like moan.

Riza just stared at him and sighed. I can't believe these two.

"Uhhhoooo," they heard Dino moan. He was beginning to show signs of life as Big Red's heavy form lay draped over him.

"He went this way!" the heard a voice shout from outside.

"Huh?" Riza attention was diverted to the door-less doorframe.

"Hurry!" they heard the voices getting closer.

"They're coming this way! You need to hide!" Jazz shouted as she got behind Riza and tried to push her away from the open spaced room.

"What?" Riza asked as she tried to hold herself firm.

"They're coming! If they find you it will hurt bad!" Jazz said as she continued to try and push Riza.

Just then they heard footsteps patting furiously in the sand.

Jazz's eyes popped open. Oh no… it's too late. They're already here.

"Mmm," Riza grumbled to herself as she took firing position. Her silver pistol was pointed at the doorframe. Once they take a step through that doorframe… she said to herself. Jazz cling to her pant leg, she peeked around Riza's thigh, a little shaky as her eyes began to fill with fear.

Then a body shot in through the door. He scrambled to the right then tripped over a floorboard that was sticking out of the floor. He hit the dirt floor with a thud as smoky dust kicked up all around him. "You're dead!" Riza shouted and was about to pull the trigger.

"WAIT!" the voice shouted. Riza quickly held her fire. She knew this voice.

"Lieutenant Colonel?" she asked as she lowered her gun slightly. A confused expression appeared on her face. She stared at the dust, waiting for it to clear.

"Uh?" Jazz said as she leaned forward. She saw a man stand up and brush the dirt off. He had on a dark blue uniform, was tall and thin, had jet black hair, and dark eyes. Whoa… it's the daddy. He's hot.

"Sir, is that you? How did you get here?" Riza asked questionably as Roy took a few steps toward them.

"Simple," he smirked as he finished brushing himself off. "I ran around the back of the building. I saw you leaning out the window. You need to hide yourself better, Lieutenant," Roy scolded in his cool usual tone.

"I was trying to get your attention," Riza retorted.

"And I ran passed to save your life," Roy replied, "If I had run toward you those men would have seen you in the window and shot you."

"Hmmmm..." Riza grumbled. She hated it when she was scolded in that manner. "Thank you, sir," she managed to say when she swallowed her pride and annoyance. He's your commanding officer, Riza. You don't have a choice. You have to treat him with respect. She repeated over and over in her mind. It helped to keep her raging hormones under control.

"Now, why did you run off on me like that, Lieutenant? I demand an answer," Roy said. His voice a little more serious.

"I was just chasing down some men, sir," Riza replied. She stood straight, her face emotionless and directed on Roy.

Miss Riza seems totally different now. Jazz thought to herself as she leaned over and stared into Riza's face. She didn't respond to Jazz's tugging on her pant leg at all. She acted as if Jazz wasn't even there.

They heard gunfire from outside as footsteps raced toward them. Roy turned around to look at the door. Riza waited until she was sure his gaze wouldn't fall back on her, and then she looked over to the door as well.

"HEY!" Jazz snapped suddenly as she pulled hard on Riza's pant leg, almost pulling her pants down.

"EH!" Riza said in surprise as she grabbed her falling waistband. She pulled it back up so it fit snuggly around her waist.

"We have to hide now!" Jazz shouted as she pulled Riza away. Her force was stronger then ever. "They'll be here in a few minutes. They always check the outside of the building before the inside! Come on, let's go!"

"Who's that?" Roy asked as he pointed to the little girl.

"No time, we have to hide," Riza replied as she began following Jazz.

"Hey, wait up!" Roy replied as he casually followed. Jazz and Riza were walking at a much faster pace then he was. There's no way she's leaving me behind again. Who's kid is that? We can't finish what we started with a kid around.

"Hurry up, sir!" he heard Riza shout. He was quickly snapped out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw Jazz and Riza already almost to the other side of the room.

"Get down!" Jazz said as she pulled Riza behind a table that was knocked on its side. It was one of the few pieces of future in the room. Roy was still near the doorway.

It wouldn't kill you to go a little faster. Riza thought as her annoyed amber eyes watched Roy.

"What is that?" Dino asked sleepily.

"What's what?" Big Red replied. His voice was still slurred and slow.

"Hm?" Roy asked as a questionable look appeared on his face. He walked over to the two men who lay on the ground and pushed Dino in the side slightly with his foot. Are they dead? Or dying? What did Hawkeye do while I was gone?

Oh no… Riza said to herself when she saw they were waking up.

"Who's you?" Dino asked as he slowly opened his eyes. The milky blue pupils began to focus on the figure towering over them.

"Uh?" Roy asked as Dino's eyes began to widen.

"Lieutenant Colonel, come on!" Riza snapped.

"Uh? ok…" Roy replied. He was about to follow after them when he heard the fat man scream.

"AHHHHHHHH!" he heard Dino scream bloody murder behind him. He turned back to them fast.

"Are you alright?" he asked unsurely. Wait... why do I care if they are alright? I'm supposed to be the one stopping them. Roy thought as he held out his hand. He was about to fry them if they tried any funny business.

Riza and Roy remained calm through this whole ordeal. Maybe a little too calm? Riza did have enough concern to hide, but it looked as if Roy could care less.

"The men are coming," Jazz whispered to Riza. "It's been almost a few minutes."

Riza looked back up at Roy. It's just like men such as these to think to look outside the building instead of in it. God forbid they should spilt up and search both the inside and the outside at once. Oh well, I guess I should be grateful, it did buy us a little time. Riza knew Jazz was right and the men would be in here before Roy could hide. She wasn't sure what to do. Then it hit her. She smirked. "DINO, BIG RED, I'M GONNA GET YOU!" she shouted loud and fiercely.

"Huh?" Roy looked from Dino and back to Riza. What's going on?

"GAHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH! MAHHHHHHHH!" Dino and Red shouted at the same time.

"What's your problem?" Roy tried to shout over them. They scrambled to get to their feet. They pounded on the ground, trying to untangle themselves from each other. All the pounding and scrambling weight was too much for the weak floor, it collapsed.

"AHHHHHH!" Both Dino and Red shouted as the boards gave way beneath them and they fell through.

"Hey! What the?" Roy shouted. He was close enough that he went down as well. A loud crash was heard as the three men's bodies along with the floor boards hit the concrete basement.

Riza smirked again. Looks like I just saved the Lieutenant Colonel.

"Well that works," Jazz said as the dust began to settle.

"Ehhhooo" Roy murmured. He lay on the ground on top of Dino and Big Red. A few pieces of wood lie on top of his body as well as a truckload of dust, it made his hair appear to be a gray color and his uniform a light dusty dark blue. "Oooorooooo," he mumbled again. He had swirly eyes.

"Oooohoooo," Dino whined. He was on the bottom of the dog pile. Big hunks of the floorboard lay underneath him. "I…. can't…. breathe…" he squeaked as a few quiet coughs escaped from his chest.

The men quickly ran into the building. "Look all around! We are going to get that military trespasser!" the man who appeared to be the leader of the group shouted. He was an older man. He had gray hair and a long gray beard. He was very overweight. He wore black leather biker clothes and black cowboy like boots.

"Go that way!"

"Over there!" the men in the gang didn't look much different then the leader. Some were fat, some were skinny, some had long hair, some had short, but they all wore the same biker clothes.

Riza and Jazz heard various men shout as they searched. I think there are seven or eight of them. Riza thought to herself as she counted the different voices. Too many to shoot. I'd have to reload. I know they are armed, I think it would be best just to stay put. I just hope the Lieutenant Colonel and the others can keep quiet long enough that they leave. Riza thought as she and Jazz stayed tucked down low.

"Don't worry, they'll leave soon," Jazz whispered very quietly.

Riza nodded in reply.

Jazz was right, too. They didn't take a very through search at all. Just a couple of head turns here and there. "Come on, he's not here. Let's go," one of the men said.

"Alright," the leader replied as they left the building. Riza waited a few minutes before she and Jazz crept out of their hiding place. They slowly and cautiously crept over to the hole.

"Sir, are you alright?" Riza asked as she looked down the dark hole. "Lieutenant Colonel Mustang?"

"Is he dead?" Jazz asked as she peeked over the edge. "Did he get squished?"

Riza flashed an irritated look, "Sir," she said again.

No answer.

Riza sighed irritatedly. "Lieutenant Colonel, there are biker women in mini skirts."

"What?" she heard his voice immediately perk up. "Where? Get me out of here!" Roy popped up and tried to climb out of the hole.

Dino coughed some more.

"Hey, I never knew there was a basement in here," Red said in a slurred yet comical voice.

Jazz couldn't help but laugh.

Riza just closed her eyes as Roy jumped up and grabbed for her feet, but missed. Don't let it get to you, Riza. Just remember, things could be a lot worse. They could be so much worse. You could have been kidnapped by those men. She repeated over and over as she took a deep breath. She pushed the feeling of an outburst down into the pit of her stomach. It could be so much worse.