Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.
Ranma/Akane pairing. This will be a set of one-shots about the relationship, some real some made up by the author. It's my first time with the couple so gimme a break please.
Setting: Ranma and Akane's Classroom
Time: Lunch Break
Ranma glanced idly out the window of his class where he was having lunch with his two friends. It was not such a bad day today, he was having a good lunch; the kawaiikune had yet to mallet him or kick him. Even Kuno had yet to make an appearance. Or for that matter any of his "fiancés". He wondered if he could actually go for a day without them trying to get him into some sort of trouble. But speaking of irritants…
Hiroshi poked Ranma again. Ranma ignored him, turning his gaze back to his food, focusing on the bento box. Years of experience (with Genma) had taught him never to lose focus on the food he was eating.
"Oi Ranma…" came Hiroshi again.
Ranma briefly considered knocking Hiroshi out, just so that he could finish his lunch in peace. Gobbling up the last few bites, he stretched and put his chopsticks down.
"Nani? How many times have I told u not to disturb me when I'm eating?" Ranma stood up, gathering all the empty boxes and dumping them in the dustbin.
"I know. But this is … important." said Hiroshi.
Ranma glanced at him again, this time with more attention. He frowned, before asking, "What's so important?"
We were wondering …uh … you know…about you and all your fiancés." Hiroshi said, apprehensively, and with good reason. Ranma had always been a more than a little touchy when it came to talking about all his 'beloved' fiancés, and it seemed this time would be no exception. Ranma sat back down on his chair and stared at Hiroshi.
"What about them?" Ranma replied, a touch of asperity in his voice. Hiroshi looked at Daisuke, a nervous smile on his face.
"Well… we were wondering how … err… far have you gone with them?" asked Daisuke, as quietly as possible.
The whole class suddenly went silent, Hiroshi and Daisuke, more in fear than anything else. Though no one else exactly knew what had been asked, they could still see Ranma's reaction. For his part, Ranma didn't reply, his face hidden behind his hair. Hiroshi gulped. The question hadn't been that loud, he was sure no one had heard them. He looked at Ranma again, who was still just sitting there.
While it was a good sign that he had yet to kick them out the window, it was still a little nerve racking watching him sit there so quietly. Hiroshi glanced at the spot where Akane and her friends sat. They too, were looking at the three of them, slightly surprised at the sudden lack of sound from the usually noisy group, or for that matter from the whole class.
Daisuke was about to wave his hand in front of Ranma's face when he felt it.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy.
Quietly but most surely, they could feel Ranma's battle aura beginning to build. The two of them began to slowly back away
Akane looked at Ranma, wondering what had happened. She tried to catch Ranma's attention subtly but the idiot was having none of it. Refused to even look up, in fact. Baka. She harrumphed to herself and got up, making her way to the washroom, her 2 friends in tow.
Daisuke looked around wildly. The only reason Ranma had yet to do anything was probably because he was waiting for Akane to leave the room. And when she did, he would be finding it hard to sleep comfortably tonight.
Calm Yourself! His mind shouted at him. He looked over at Hiroshi who was also starting to get unnerved but still had a look of determination on his. Yes. They had been prepared for this reaction.
But it had to be timed properly. Ranma would attack only when Akane left the room. Hands clutching their precious trump cards, they waited, as time seem slow down to a crawl. Slowly, step-by-step, Akane moved towards the door. Sweat trickled down both their foreheads as the seconds stretched agonizingly.
As Akane entered the doorway, she paused, perhaps somehow sensing that there was something about to happen. She glanced back at the group, at Ranma whose face was still hidden away, at Daisuke and Hiroshi who were staring at Ranma with a strange look on both their faces. She tilted her head, wondering if she should say something to them, as there really seemed to be something wrong.
Sensing her questioning look, Daisuke slowly pulled his face away from Ranma, though still keeping an eye on Ranma's legs. For a brief moment, he considered calling Akane back into the classroom, asking her to save them from Ranma's anger, but he knew that would make Ranma look bad in front of Akane, meaning he would be even more pissed with them!
Besides, if Akane found out what they had asked Ranma in the first place, being one of the fiancés in question, they would probably get a taste of her mallet as well!
Damn the violent couple.
Feeling a nudge from Hiroshi, Daisuke forced his face muscles into a smile, trying his best to make it look natural.
Akane was even more confused, Daisuke was smiling at her, as though to say nothing was wrong, but that looked more like a smile of someone who had sucked a giant lemon and had proceeded to then place the lemon up his a-
"Akane!" She whirled around in shock. Her friends had already left the classroom and were calling to her. She glanced back at the group; Daisuke was still giving her that weird smile. Oh why was she even bothering with them? Turning back to her friends, she ran up to join them closing the door behind her.
In the world of martial arts, speed was often the deciding factor, and there were few around that were as fast as Ranma. But in that few seconds, his speed was surpassed by his two friends who had until then never had a reason to move that fast. As Akane closed the door, Ranma made his move reaching out for both of them. However, both the boys were prepared for this. Grabbing their trump cards, they threw it onto the table in front of Ranma.
If Ranma had a weakness, (other than Akane, although no one dared to say that to his face) it was food. And that was why Daisuke and Hiroshi had made a quick stop in the morning to 2 different restaurants.
Ranma's table now had a steaming extra-large bowl of ramen and a huge stack of Ukyo's pancakes. That seemed to have made the Hentai-Beast (that was what they called Ranma in private) reconsider. Ranma had paused in his reach for them, his hands over the food.
But unfortunately, the respite only lasted a few seconds, before he started to reach for them again. And this time, Hiroshi and Daisuke knew it was over for them. They had no more tricks left.
As they closed their eyes, preparing themselves for an ass kicking, something flew by them to land on the table. Popping their eyes open, they realised the object had been a … bento box!
Daisuke nodded in gratitude to his classmate who had sacrificed his lunch. This had made Ranma slow down his approach again, though not by much. He was still reaching out for them when more boxes began flying in from around the class.
Hiroshi could hardly believe his luck. Their whole class was sacrificing their lunches just for them. A single tear flowed out of his eye, but he quickly wiped it away, sniffling. (Daisuke rolled his eyes.)
Finally when the table was covered with food almost 3 levels high, then only did Ranma's battle aura fade. They watched as he now switched attentions to the food on the table, wrapping and immediately starting to eat the food.
They watched in silence, neither willing to make the first move to Ranma. This time however, they didn't have to.
"Why … do you want to know?" came the question from Ranma, still munching away. The question sounded rather tentative but they would take any victory they got.
Hiroshi shot a look at Daisuke. He cleared his throat before answering. "Well… cause… you know…"
"Huh? What do you mean I know?" Ranma paused, looking slightly confused.
"Ah… err.." Hiroshi stammered. One of his classmates behind him rolled their eyes. Daisuke gave Hiroshi a slight push on the arm. Hiroshi cleared his throat again, "Well… because … you are the most forward amongst us right…" His voice trailed off as Ranma's battle aura began to grow again.
Terrified, Daisuke quickly blurted out, "Not in a bad way! No not in a bad way Ranma!" He moved back, almost falling over the chairs, holding his hands in front of him to ward off the attack.
Hiroshi quickly stepped in, "What he's trying to say Ranma is that you are the most experienced in comparison to us…"
"Oh … ok" Ranma sat back down again, picking up another bento box and tearing into it. "But I'm not really that experienced myself. Besides why do you want to know?" He asked, shooting a curious look at both his friends.
"Well …" Hiroshi looked down at his shoes, "You know that girl I've been going out with right?" When Ranma nodded, he continued, "Well up till now, we've never even… kissed." The last part was said as low as possible, but that wasn't much use in this class, where information was valued like gold.
"Dude seriously?" "Oh man." "That's just sad man." Hiroshi stiffened in shocked as the comments suddenly rang out. His face as red as a beet, he turned around slowly to face what was now almost his whole class listening in and looking at him with a certain amount of pity.
Boy was his reputation destroyed. Sighing, he turned back to Ranma when he heard a giggle. Turning so fast that he cricked his neck, he stared in shock and betrayal at Daisuke, who was trying to bite his lip to stop more giggles come through.
Never mind that traitor. He re-focused back on Ranma, who was already more than half-way done with the food. "So that's why I wanted to ask you. Since you have all those fiancés… When is the right time to … you know… go a bit further?" There was another snicker behind him but he ignored it.
Ranma, chewing with a thoughtful look, replied, "Well I don't really know since… well none of them are really …my girlfriends."
Daisuke's eyebrow popped up. "Are you sure? I thought you already kissed Shampoo and Akane."
Hearing that, Ranma choked on his food. "N - na - nani? No… no you got it wrong…err… wrong! Ahaha." The last 'wrong' was said with a bit too much emphasis and the nervous laugh just gave it away. He looked back at his whole class who was now staring at him with a look of disbelief. "What!"
"Ranma, no need to lie like that. We just want the benefit of your … experience." Hiroshi said.
"Yeah man." "Come on Ranma." Ranma sweat-dropped. This was looking more and more troublesome.
He sat back in the chair, trying to make himself as small as possible. Sighing, he said, "Well what do you want to know?"
"Well..." Daisuke grabbed another bento box and pushed it into Ranma's hands, "What was it like kissing Shampoo?"
Ranma paused in his chewing, "First of all, she kissed me. And to tell the truth, it wasn't anything special."
"Really?" Both Daisuke and Hiroshi looked taken aback, not to mention the whole class. "A girl as kawaii as Shampoo is just… all right?"
"Well… yeah. It was a little surprising but that's the truth." Answered Ranma.
"Ne Ranma, what did she taste like?" Daisuke asked eagerly.
Silence descended on the classroom, as all turned to look around at him. Now it was Hirsohi's turn to snicker.
"What! I just wanted to know ok!" Daisuke said, red-faced." I mean… come on. After all, you're about to shove your mouth on another human being. I just wanted to know if it tasted disgusting or what…"
A few classmates behind him shook their heads. "Man these guys are pathetic…"
"Actually" said Ranma again, "It didn't taste like anything. It was sort of… bland." He looked into the window, as though remembering the memory.
"Bland? Err… okay." Hiroshi replied thoughtfully. "What about Ukyo?"
Ranma snorted." Uc-chan? Don't be silly, we are just friends. And before you ask I would rather kiss a scorpion before touching Kodaichi."
A few laughs came from around the class as Ranma continued to field more questions, this time from other classmates. Ranma, by this time was sort of caught up by the attention, which was what explained the lack at thought at what he was saying. But he should have known better.
It was said you could see the impending doom approaching you if you just thought about it properly. In this school, there were a million ways for him to get into trouble, and for this case, it was a tape-recorder, which had appeared out of nowhere. And there was also the fact that Akane was due back from the toilet any time soon.
And then, there were the instigators. It was an innocent question, the way it was posed. So innocently and out of the blue to seem planned. And it was what signed his doom.
"Ne Ranma, what about Akane? What did she taste like when u kissed he-"
"Sweet." Ranma cut in. He stopped his eating to use the chopsticks to jab the air." You know for some reason, she always tastes so sweet every time. Hmph… I just don't get it."
He resumed his meal, not noticing the utter shock and silence that had descended on the class. Now they all knew that Ranma and Akane stayed in the same house and all that, but this was the first time ever, Ranma had ever admitted to something so readily especially when it came to Akane.
Noticing the lack of questions, Ranma looked up again, wondering what had happened. He was met by shocked faces and knowing smiles by some of his classmates. "Nani?"
He looked back at them. Was it something I said? He thought back to what he had said earlie-
OH MY GOD. Ranma went as stiff as board. What had he just said? His lips started to get dry; his hands turned to ice and slipped to his sides. And his whole body seemed to be covered by cold sweat. If Akane ever found out what he had just said, she would do more than just mallet him. Shivers began to run down his body as scenarios of the punishment flashed before his eyes. And truth be told, he was about to start crying.
However, the sound of the classroom door opening brought him back to his senses. In walked his executioner, with a wide smile on her face. That smile vanished as she beheld the scene around her.
The whole class, who were gathered around Ranma's table, was staring at her. Some in jealousy, some in regret and amazement and though she couldn't be sure, Ranma looked as though he was about to cry!
Akane looked about in amazement. What could have possible happened?
Ranma sent out a silent plea to everyone around him, his hands almost in a begging position. For a brief agonizing moment, he feared some fool would blab it all out, and damn him, but that moment ended quickly and the bell rang as the teacher entered.
The class quickly went back to normal, some of them chuckling at the events earlier. Akane tried to catch Ranma's eye again but he made sure he looked only at the blackboard. If he could just get through this day without Akane finding out, he would … well do whatever one did to give thanks to the gods.
The teacher shook her head. This was a weird school but this class was definitely the worse. She asked the class to take out their text-books and turn to a new chapter. Just as she was about to select one of them to read the page aloud, she suddenly noticed tape-recorder on the teachers table. She picked it up cautiously, experience guiding her. There was already a tape in.
The whole class was looking at her now, all curious about what she was holding. Ranma however was getting a strange feeling. It couldn't be, could it? Akane took this chance to glance at Ranma again She sighed inwardly, as she was wont to do whenever she looked at him. Her eyes may have been distracted by him, but her ears were working fine.
The teacher pressed rewind for a bit, and then pressed play. Loud and clear it rang throughout the class.
Unknown Voice: "Ne Ranma, what about Akane? What did she taste like when u kissed he-"
Ranma: "Sweet. You know for some reason, she always tastes so sweet every time. Hmph… I just don't get it."
Ranma froze for a few seconds, his body falling into a dead faint as he collapsed. But he never hit the floor. He was about halfway towards it when an extremely large mallet hit him so hard that he flew out the window.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma groaned. It had taken him hours to crawl back all the way, when he was in so much pain. Thanks goodness everyone was already asleep when he crept back in. He may have missed dinner, but at least he didn't have to face Akane again. Groaning to himself silently so he didn't wake his pop, he tried to go back to sleep. Better get as much rest he could, seeing as how tomorrow was probably another day to get malleted.
But it seemed his stomach wouldn't allow him to do so. Slowly he got up and crept to the kitchen. Every step was agony. Damn that kawaiikune, she really had power. His whole body was aching.
He muttered to himself, as he entered the kitchen "She's so uncute and unsex-"
He nearly swallowed his tongue when he realised that someone was in the kitchen. And not just anyone. It had to be her. HER
He swallowed hard, trying to prepare himself for the mallet. But, he realised, she didn't even look angry. She just sat at the table looking at him, holding a candle for light. And she was also holding onto something. As he stood there, confused, as the lack of violence, while deep in his heart, trying to get a look at Akane's pyjamas ( which tonight was one of Ranma's favourites, the cute yellow ensemble) , he realised that she was eating or rather…licking on a lollipop.
He blinked, twice, she still hadn't said anything, just sat there watching him. He had to admit, the whole thing, the yellow pjs, the lollipop, the way her big eyes just looked at him, well ... kawaii was the word that came to his mind.
Slowly, he found his voice, "Ah… what are you doing?" Idiot! What a stupid question.
But if Akane thought so, she didn't show it, she took another lick, before answering.
"I always have a lollipop around this hour. I just didn't want to let Kasumi onee-chan know."
"Oh." He was still put off by her casual attitude and the way she was looking at him. Again he just stood there, not knowing how to continue. They must have stood there for a few minutes, Akane with her lollipop, Ranma mesmerized by her big eyes. Finally Akane had enough it seemed. She left her candle on the table, and walked past Ranma, "There's some leftovers in the fridge."
She was nearly at the door when she suddenly turned back to Ranma. "You're not going to tell Kasumi onee-chan right?"
Ranma, who had become slightly distracted by her chest area, which he couldn't really make out under the dim light, could only mumble, "Yes." He groaned inwardly, willing his brain to become more coherent. He couldn't believe he was in this state for Akane.
She smiled at him, (smiled! She never smiled!) and said as she continued to walk out. "It's just that it's a habit. I need to have a lollipop every night." Ranma didn't reply now busy, watching her backsi…err…lower bottom.
"Ne Ranma…" she suddenly said.
Shook out of his trance, he replied nervously, "Nani?"
She looked back at him, her eyes as wide and innocent as possible. She slowly walked back to him, stopping only when her face was mere inches away from Ranma's. Ranma just stood there, seemingly paralyzed by her nearness, the smell of her so close or just the way she was looking at him. She parted her lips, and said softly to him, "Maybe that's why I taste so sweet."
Akane turned and walked back to her room, trying her best not to smile. If she had happened to look back in the kitchen, she might have seen Ranma hyperventilating on the floor.