Disclaimer: why are you following me? i didn't write harry potter!
I have to admit i'm extremely nervous to post this chapter, because i don't know if i wrote it well enough. that's why it took so long...sorry. i'm open to suggestions if you want to help me improve it!
ilovecaptainjacks: you know my friend calls them parental units too! i've always thought it funny but never could incorporate into my everyday vocabulary, so yeah...lol. i'm glad you liked it! go on read it!
hiyahihi!: thank you for both of the reviews! i love them so much! all so precious tear. i'm so glad to hear that you think its one of the best you've read...note the goofy grin that won't leave my face. lol. you rock too! all my reviewers do, enjoy the update! have a cookie!
Jumboshrimp: ooh! im so going to go check out your writing! i love when ppl who review tell me about their fics, because then i can praise them equally. about the ice-cream part, my little sister's were liking cake off of each other, it was quite cute. bellebuckbeak, okay i got it! hope you like it!
Prongsie-Jamesie: they're stupid, they're stupid people, oh huhuhu smiles overly large, and lightly giggles (alexis, why are you telling me to write this) ah! you just fell over ahahahahahahahahah muah-hahaha. lol. it was buttfull? bootyful? are they the same? lol. i'm keeping it up!
Everyone enjoy and i can't stress this enough REVIEW!!
No! My mind screamed.
I couldn't think of anything to say to my friendly headmaster Dumbledore, the bearer of good and bad news.
I spun around to sprint to the handsome door leading out of Dumbledore's phenomonal office, but he had a morsel of advice left for my hungry, sorrowful mind, "Miss Evans," he started, the twinkle usually found behind his half moon spectacles was nowhere in sight, as if it vanished into thin air, "It is times like these when one is best surrounded by people that have been in similar situations."
Like James Potter.
I don't know how I knew that's who he meant. But suddenly I understood why James had seemed depressed and distant at the end of sixth year, and every once in a while even now. One might say Dumbledore figured out that I comprehended what he wanted me to understand.
Look, I'm so depressed I'm babbling to myself. Oh well.
I stared glassy eyed at the beautiful wood that the door was made of, paying attention to every dark line, every swirl.
What am I doing?
It took me another second to realize my clammy hands were hogging the door-knob's time. I turned the extravagant handle.
I had to find him.
I just knew that following Dumbledore's advice would make me feel better. It always did.
I slowly climbed out from behind the cold, stone gargoyle, and listened to the noise that my black shoes made, echoing off the walls and dancing around me. Teasing me.
Hogwarts had once been a warm and cheerful place, welcoming me, my home-away-from-home. Now it just seemed like a desolate, agonizing hell-hole, tormenting me in my time of needless defeat.
Further down the hall, I recognized two of my friends, my tearless eyes stung from being bombarded with moisture-free air. I stormed passed Beki and Krizz, without a word. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. I owed them nothing but silence.
I quickened my pace slightly as I turned the corner sharply, hardly missed ramming into him, the person who was supposed to take my pain away. James Potter.
I had set out to be consoled by him, but now face-to-face, no words protruded from my mouth. My grief-stricken body couldn't function, it felt impossibly heat-deprived, and so unlike the color I usually took on when I was around James. He established eye contact with me, and I knew the same thing was on his mind, to talk to me.
I knew there was no plausible way for him to have known about my parents' death. But the look in his wars of chocolate and jade, told me he recognized I was miserable.
I stopped to think for a few minutes, pondering if now was the right time to confide in him. But when I looked back, there he went again, he was gone. I let him get away.
The only thing going through my mind was, now I have more time to think of what I'm going say.
I started cogitating about my life. It had turned into a song that I loved from the moment I heard the first note. I just wished it wasn't so.
I raced to the Grand Staircase. I didn't care in the slightest who was watching me, or what they were telling their friends about The-Rambunctious-Lily-Evans. I needed to escape it.
It didn't seem to me that anyone should be happy. Why should anyone be allowed to be even the slightest bit cheerful while I'm not?
I had no desire whatsoever to go back to the Head Girl's Dormitory, it was filled with gifts my parents had given to me, presents they put so much love into.
Yes, Gryffindor Tower sounded much more agreeable. I decided to sleep on one of the extra beds in the 7th Year Girls' Dorm.
"What's wrong dear?" The stupid Fat Lady asked me. I didn't want to speak to any of my friends, least of all the Fat Lady.
"Mega Slipex," I monotonously droned to her.
Immediately, the portrait sprung forward revealing the friendly circular passage, I had traveled through many a time before. I crawled through; the only thing on my mind was getting to the dorms before bursting into salty grief.
Fortunately, for me, no one was in the previously-joyful Common Room. Without delay, I bolted to the long staircase leading to the dormitories.
Finally! I thought while I climbed into the comfort of the additional bed. I violently yanked the curtains around the four-poster bed, and whispered a silencing charm, just incase someone came in; I didn't want them to hear me.
From the moment my head hit the comfort of the soft, down pillow, I started sobbing.
Not just tears, but memories. Sharp, agonizing intakes of air that pierced my lungs, dug into my heart, and made my arms and lips ache to just hug and kiss them once more.
I cried my eyes out endlessly, hoping if I cried enough that it might just bring them back.
But it never would, and I knew that.
I had always played those foolish child games when I was little. Like, if you blow an eyelash off of your index finger, your wish would come true. Or, if you didn't tell anyone your wish on your birthday....
It was mum's birthday tomorrow. That set me off again.
Once, when I was but a child, I hadn't been able to think of a present worthy of my mother. She found me bawling on the porch before her small birthday celebration.
"Lily," she had started to console. I had quickly wiped my eyes with my gorgeous auburn locks, dampening every strand in that fiery curl.
"Yes, mum," I had asked my nose running.
She gently wiped my face with a tissue, picked me up, and placed me in her comforting lap.
She stroked my hair, soothingly, lulling me to sleep.
"Lily blossom, the greatest gift you could ever give me, is being happy. All those presents, they mean nothing. But, they glimmer of happiness in your eyes, is all I need. Lily, darling, you mean all the world to me. I could never be happy unless you were."
"I love you mummy." I whispered before drifting off to dreamland in my mother's arms.
I wailed with pain. My heart was breaking. "I could never be happy without you mum and dad!"
If what my mother told me when I was younger was true, she must have be absolutely miserable, in the afterlife.
I had a sudden wave of nauseas. How could a girl be happy without the loves of her life? My parents, they were gone. And not on vacation, like I tried to convince myself, but dead.
I was missing dinner, much to my stomach's dismay. I didn't feel like I'd be able to keep anything down if I did eat.
The song. It was almost as if it had been written specifically to describe my life, or more directly the way James and I seemed to act towards each other.
"Come and Talk to me. What are you waiting for. Cause' I can see you passing every day, and I'm always wanting more. Come and talk to me. What are you gonna do. Cause' I can't seem get the nerve to get off my own ass, and come talk to you."
Previous times of thinking about this song, I had thought Keri Noble had sung too emotionally, in her song Talk To Me, but now everything clicked with my mind. Although, I would have been perfectly content with my life, if I hadn't been able to understand exactly how she felt.
I slowly overtired myself while weeping with grief and singing myself to sleep. I didn't even hear my friends Beki, Krizz, Alice, or Serena come in. I was too focused on the feeling of liquidized pain blossoming from my green spheres.
I slept in the next morning, too depressed to even move. Devastating anguish hit me on and off throughout the day, although not without its nasty companion reality rearing its ugly head at me.
I knew my friends would tell me to get over it. But I didn't want to get over it, how could I?
About halfway through the day, I decided I couldn't stand myself anymore, and had to take a walk out by the lake.
I left Gryffindor Tower in a hurry. I raced all the way to my Dorm, my ears pounding impossibly loud.
The only thing that played through my fickle mind was James. Why did I now feel like I could no longer talk to him?
Like he wouldn't understand?
At that moment, half the hate I had possessed for James earlier came flooding back. I found myself glaring at his stupid door as I stormed passed it on the way to my room.
I changed out of my school uniform, and into black apparel that was appropriate for the weather conditions as quickly as I could.
I knew they were Muggle clothes, but they made me feel closer to home, to my family, to my parents.
I descended the stairs down to the Heads' Common Room. He wasn't in there, fortunately. It must have been dinner time.
I decided to use a less traversed path to the grounds. Of course the only way to get outside was through the entrance by the Great Hall, but, I decided to worry about that when I got there.
I turned left at the annoying portrait of Sir Cadogan. I mean, what a bimbo he was. I didn't like his portrait form, which meant he was probably an aggravating bloke in his time.
I aggressively made my down to the first floor, letting my mind wander as I drifted through long-forgotten corridors and passageways.
They brought back so many fond memories, like the time Beki had started sleepwalking and must of woken every staff member, because she had walked into the Restricted area of library and opened every screaming book in there, or the time in the Second Floor Girls' Bathroom, Alice had been doing an impression of me diving sideways off of my broom, because I was scared of heights, well, she ended up landing in a not-so-happy Moaning Myrtle's toilet.
I must have been looking forward to getting outside more than I thought because the ten minute walk didn't go by fast enough.
At long last, the gargantuan doors came into sight.
I couldn't have been happier to see them in my life.
As I raced outside into the fresh, stress-free air, I felt a massive weight being lifted off of my delicate shoulders.
The wind was chilly, but invigorating nonetheless, reaching my core, freezing all the emotions inside of me for one tiny second in the grand out-look of things.
I strolled down to the restless lake, feeling slightly happier now that I was outside.
I chose a patch of grass that the ruthless sun hadn't seemed to force to shrivel up yet. I plopped down onto the spongy ground and slowly turned my denying orbs up towards the sky. To say the least, Lily Evans was utterly and completely mesmerized by the magnificent sight of the sunset in front of her.
The torture was unbearable, I couldn't help it, I didn't want to cry, but it made me think of them.
The liquid hurting welled up in my eyes so quickly, I didn't have time to blink before it streaked down my pale face and smeared my day-old make-up, making my deep emeralds sting painfully.
I leaned back, depressed, on my arms, trying not to think of them.
But it didn't work. You can't forget about death that easily.
Even when they are gone, you still see them around you.
What was I going to do when the blasted term ended? I had no clue. All I knew was this wasn't supposed to happen.
And their death, no it wasn't an accident....it was....murder.
But was it really homicide? Or was that my imagination kicking in, justifying my anger, my grief, my wrath, my need for revenge.
After all, I was Lily Evans, and I was supposed to be invincible, as well as those I loved.
Nothing was supposed to wreck my life.
But, it did.
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-Melyssa