Disclaimer: Nope....it wasn't me.

this was the first chapter i wrote for this story, so it took me a long time to make sure it was correct because i changed a few little things while writing the chapters that came before it.

wow! a whole five reviews! i feel the love!!

Thank you everyone who reads this! i wish you'd review, but that is besides the point.

iluvdraco4eva: i hope there weren't any basilisks! lol. thank you, but i protest about me writing better than you, i feel safe saying i've improved. but if you read my first story...well let's just say its pretty despicable. well its nice to hear from you, and i just finished reading your update! it was remarkable! keep writing! enjoy!

Jumboshrimp: ooh, ooh, ooh! i read your story right before i replied to your review! i like your story a lot a lot a lot. Anyways, yes poor lily. James' parents died too, he narrates his moment of truth in this chapter. i really do love your story! so update! and i hope you like this chapter.

miriel216: thank you so much. i think i owe you a box of cookies...hmmm....lets see, oreos, chips ahoy!, vanilla wafers...anything spark your interest? lol. your review made me feel so awesome! i really hope you enjoy this chapter!

Loveable: ooh! cute name! yes your "hope" is correct about james, and i feel bad for lily too, but i really don't have a choice...or do i? lol. im glad you like my story, makes my heart warm inside. ow! too hot it burns! lol. hope i didn't take too long to update. enjoy!

ilovecaptainjacks: so what kind of cookies do you want? lol. there is a plethora of james in this chapter. and if that isn't enough james, next chapter is from his point of view. now the problem is will it make the cut, lol. i hope this chapter makes you feel a little bit happier!!

enjoy folks!!

Sometimes my life wasn't right. Sometimes it felt like the end of the world.

Now looking back, realization strikes me roughly. Why hadn't I seen the reason I was shutting James out, was because I felt the need to lock out any love that had ever entered my life.

As I sat pondering by the lake, the magnificent dome above me was a vivid, denying orange, mixed with deep, intense, piercing red. It was almost as if the sky was grieving the death of my parents with me. The colors of the heavens burned brightly in my eyes; revealing to my heart the pain it felt. I wanted to reach up and embrace the atmosphere with all my might, never to let go. But, for lack of solidity, I irked my longing.

I knew I looked like a mascara-covered mess, but why would I care about something so infinitesimal at a time like this.

My hair was falling out of the pony-tail I had perfected earlier, I mean two days ago, and all of my lipstick had been washed off by the salt water creating a river down my milky skin.

"Lily?" A voice called a couple feet behind me.

It was not one of my friends. They didn't even know yet about the horrible truth yet, and they have been my companions for so long, they would understand my not wanting to be hassled. The only person, who knew there was a problem, and was fool enough to pursue, was the one and only James Potter.

"What James?" I barked, my voice slightly harsh from expressing my sorrow. I wasn't in the mood to talk with my regained, bothersome enemy.

"Do you want to talk about... about your parents?" He stuttered, slowly taking a seat next to me in the spongy, dead grass.

"Not with you!" I retorted, childishly crossing my arms over my tired body.

"Lily, I know how you feel." He shifted awkwardly.

"No, you don't." I didn't really care if he did!

"Actually, I do. I lost mine in the middle of sixth year."

"Oh, I'm sorry James," I half-heartedly replied. "I didn't know."

"It's okay Lily. I know how you feel. You're angry at the world right now. No one thinks straight when that happens."

I instantly felt guilty about what I had summed up earlier. My fickle mind changed once more, I saw stars float before me; and a gentle tenderness welled up at the bottom of my heart, pulsating through my veins. Why doesn't it seem like I'm all alone anymore?

I grasped at an invisible idea to understand all of my mixed emotions.

"You know what? You're right." I started to sniffle and knew I was going to break down into a blubbering mess again. I could feel it coming, rapidly marching out into the open.

"Lily, I'm here for you. Just know that." James blasted me full-force with his hazel spheres; I could feel the raw emotion radiating off of him, tickling my senses.

I threw myself, hard, at the squishy ground and buried my face in the earth's green hair. I didn't want to talk now, didn't want to spill the deepest torment in my heart, my most shaded secrets, what I really felt....

"Lily, are you okay?" His face contorted into worry.

I noted the complete apprehension upon his face, every fiber of his being seemed to depend on my answer.

Why do I feel like I'm his everything?

"Just leave me alone James!" I wished he would leave. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't feel like existing anymore.

But, I still felt hope dancing about; enveloping me in light affection.

"No. Lily, you really need someone to be with you, when you're like this. If Sirius and Remus hadn't stayed with me, I probably wouldn't be here anymore." I couldn't believe it. James Potter, one of my ex-three sworn enemies, trying to comfort me.

It was unreal.

I glanced back and forth between the adoration James was hurtling in my direction and the Forbidden Forest; the vivacity of the sky creating a multitude of shadows upon the constantly swaying in the relentless wind.

Why do I feel like his total universe?

Why do I feel guilty about yelling at him?

And, why do I feel like I've been blind to something since I met James?

"I don't want to talk." The desolation settling itself upon my shoulders, reminding me of the new lashes I had received from the whip of death.

"Fine. You don't have to. I will."

"What is it with you? Why do you care what happens to me anyways? You don't even know me!"

"Actually," he told me, while loosening his black-shirt collar, "if truth be told...uhh.. Iii...umm... I'm... I still like...a lot... I love you Lily and I don't want to lose you. You're the love-of-my-life"

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a short while, the whole time I mulled it over in my brain. I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. As carefully and slowly as I could manage, I picked myself up and leaned on his perfectly sculpted shoulders.

"I like you too, James." Did I really say that? Oh well, too late. For some reason, all previous times he had told me this, even the day I told Remus I had discovered his secret meant nothing. I'm not sure why, but I really felt like I could trust him now.

NO!

I'm being irrational that's all! I'm experiencing devastating trauma! I'm unreasonable!

But somehow, I know I'm not.

"Last year during breakfast, I received an owl, from the Minister of Magic. It told me I should report to Dumbledore's office immediately because he had something very important to tell me. Even thinking about it now, I get a knot in my stomach. I can still picture climbing the staircase, I had never been scared of going to Dumbledore's office before, not even when I had gotten into trouble, but this time I knew something awful must have happened. I quietly opened the heavy door, quickly glancing over the golden plate that read Headmaster Albus Dumbledore."

James stopped for a moment, I think he was collecting his thoughts; I could sense his emotions, I could see them in his eyes.

"I stepped in and my heart sank to my feet when I heard two people talking. They were saying stuff like I can't believe they are actually dead. I was so scared. I wanted to run away. Oh, James. Dumbledore had said, when he noticed me standing by the door. What is it Headmaster, I asked hoping for the best. James, he started, I'm afraid I have some horrible news. Your mother and father, James, some of the best aurors we have ever seen, mind you, have been murdered by Voldemort."

James looked like he was about to cry. I couldn't bear watching him suffer like that. Biting tears attacked my own eyes once more.

"Unfortunately it does not stop there. Dumbledore had continued on, the Potter mansion was attacked, as well as your aunts' and uncles' houses. I am afraid, James, you are the last. I'm sorry professor, I was slightly confused, the last of what? James, you are the last of the Potters."

He was the Last! There were no more! How awful!

"So much was swimming through my head. I didn't know what to do. I ran to Gryffindor Tower and sat, I admit it, sobbing all day. As soon as Sirius and Remus came in I shunted them away. It was hard to tell them what happened. I didn't want to have anything to do with them. They were family to me. But, I felt if we stayed like that Voldemort would come for them, too. But, they stayed with me and talked to me the whole night."

I had never seen how wonderful James and Sirius were before. They depended quite solely on each other. Would I have a relationship like that soon? Actually, would I ever experience that?

"I probably would have ended my life if they hadn't been with me. No one knew how I felt. And I didn't want to try to make them understand. They still don't. God I miss my family so much!" He buried his face in his hands. Then, brushed his dark messy hair out of his eyes and looked up at the sky.

I leaned in a little closer, admiring the reflection of the brilliant sky in his stunning orbs. "James that's terrible."

Did I truly, honestly like him?

I'm just baffled right now!

"The fact that they died is. But, now I guess it's not so bad. Now I truly know someone else understands how I feel, and even better it's the person I've loved since first year. It's too bad that my wish came at such an expensive price. The death of your parents."

The stinging truth started gracefully sliding down my wind-nipped face. "I guess I should be used to it now. Most of my family has already died, except for my horsy sister, Petunia. But, I mean, they were ...my parents...," I started, hot fresh emotion tore down my face even more swiftly than the last batch, "... they flew off the cliff in their cute...little.... blue Ford Anglia." I couldn't hold on any longer.

"It's okay Lily," James sighed, tenderly rubbing my head. "Just let it all out. There is no reason to keep it inside you."

Once again he was right. "It is better to let it out," I encouraged, "I know you are holding it in for me. You are no less of a man to me if you cry. In my eyes, it makes you stronger."

"You are definitely right! I'm so tired of being strong."

"No. Strength and courage come in so many forms."

And with that he too started to sing the sad song of his life, without any noise, through his emotional almonds. We sat there holding each other, and wailing until the sun was barely peeking at us.

My make-up had made black trails down my entire face, and my emerald orbs stood out more for they were extremely puffy and red. If a first year had seen me blubbering like that they would have thought I was a monstrosity.

"Oh man. If a first year sees me they are going to think I'm some type of monster," James half-laughed half-choked, as if he had read my mind.

It was true. We were both weeping fools.

I took my rough cloth handkerchief out of my pocket and carefully wiped James' wet cheeks. He then in turn, took out his beautiful silk one and gently wiped the black streams off of my face; erasing the parade of sadness from my face.

I grabbed my useful wand, pointed at James, and whispered the spell I had found so useful when my favorite uncle, Sam, died, "Dyeffurp Reducio."

The redness instantly disappeared from his eyes and they were no longer puffy. I pointed my wand at my eyes, in turn, and murmured the incantation. Instantaneously, the familiar coolness of the spell spread across my eyeballs, as if they had ice in them.

"Lily?"

"Yes James?"

"Oh...nothing."

James was gazing into my stunning emerald green spheres, with an understanding gleam, and I into his warm hazel almond-shaped ones, with hope glimmering in mine. The whole time, In the Arms of the Angel was playing in my head.

Okay, so that was corny, but to me, although I changed my mind back and forth throughout the day, James was my angel.

As I caught onto the emotion in his intense orbs, I felt I was catching a glimpse of his soul, like I was seeing the real James. Not the prankster that infuriated me. But the kind, help anyone, comfort-someone-who-he-is-hardly-friends-with James.

The way he paid attention to me, again made me feel like I was the only other person on the face of the earth. His swirls of burnt sienna and clovers swallowed me whole.

It was amazing, but for once in my life, I didn't feel alone.

now remember folks, the sooner you review and the more reviews i get, the faster i make your dreams come true! lol. a dream is a wish your heart makes!

-Melyssa