How Hudson Stole Christmas
Every crew member on seaQuest
liked Christmas a lot
but Hudson,
who captained the boat,
did NOT!
Hudson hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season.
No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be that his bikini underwear was too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all
may have been that his heart was too small.
But
whatever the reason
he was in a foul mood
as he sat on his bridge,
for he knew that the off duty crew
were decorating the tree and raiding the fridge.
"And they're hanging their stockings,"
he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas. It's practically here."
For, tomorrow,
all the crew would wake up bright and early.
They would be laughing, singing and celebrating all day.
That just wasn't the military way!
Then he got an idea,
an awful idea.
Hudson got a wonderful, awful idea!
He donned his red long johns and military boots
and that beard that Bridger left behind would do the trick.
I'll creep around the boat and I'll look just like Saint Nick!
All I need is a reindeer...
Hudson looked around
but there was none to be found.
He thought, I'll have to make one instead.
Sneaking down to sea deck,
to Darwin he gave a call,
and tied a long horn to his head.
(Wanna play a game, you fish?)
Then, so slowly and deviously,
he stole through the passageways
toward the mess hall.
As he walked through the door,
he saw all the crew stockings hung in row.
"Those are the first to go!"
He stuffed them into a bag
and with a smile that was most unpleasant,
he grabbed the wreath and the presents.
Onto a sleigh he threw them all with glee
and then he got ready to take the tree.
From behind he heard a small gasp.
He turned around to find Lucas,
the youngest and smallest ensign.
"Santa Claus, why are you taking our tree?"
Hudson flashed him a toothy grin
and resisting the temptation to knock him out and flee,
said that a light was broke.
"I'll take it to my workshop and fix it there
and then bring it back here."
Lucas, giving a shrug,
(because he had been brain washed by the writers
and unable to think for himself anymore)
got a drink of water and headed for the door.
Hudson, deciding he better hurry,
grabbed the sled and back to the moon pool he scurried.
He started throwing the bags into the pool
for Darwin to drag out to sea.
Hudson dropped a bag and what a surprise!
He could hardly believe his eyes!
Reaching down he picked up the stocking
that had fallen out.
In shiny gold lettering it said "Oliver".
His crew did love him!
Suddenly he didn't feel quite so grim.
His heart grew light
and it didn't feel quite so tight.
He ran back to the mess
with the sled bumping behind.
As he got close he heard a sound
that started out low
and started to grow.
He put a hand to his ear
it was party he could hear.
It was the crew making merry
without presents, or a tree, or stockings.
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming.
It had come anyway!
He ran to his cabin to grab his violin,
and much to the crew's surprise,
led them all singing Christmas hymns
Maybe it wasn't the military way
but it still made for an excellent day.