Disclaimer: All that you see, cannot possibly belong to me!
Here's the next installment! Sorry about the wait! I hope it rocks your socks!
chickasosser: Thank you for the review! I hate that I had to kill Lily's parents, but otherwise, there wouldn't be a story! Cookies to you!
KLLRS: Thank you for thereview! I've never had maple fudge before. Does it rock? (asteris!) I hate you so much!
(the asteris doesn't work!) this isn't true
Arand: I hope i didn't let you down with the "shower scene" I've never written anything like that before, so it was kind of awkward for me. lol. Huge box of Cookies! Thanks!
Jeladore Black: I am glad your enjoying it! Enjoy being hurtled into the mind of the dog himself! I'm not sure i made it wacky enough though! Check it out! Thank you for reviewing!
MissCheviousHP: 5555555 I am not a dork! I pledge it upon my life! I know its Messrs. in the book but the .abbreviation, i think it stands for messieurs (if i spelled that correctly). Sirius was a human. I don't know if they can talk when they are in animagus form, but in my fic they can't. It's more of a mental connection, but not like they can read minds. They just understand eachother. Understand? Loving Fred and George! I'm checking out your fic next! Cookies for the review!
pasmosa: thank you for the suggestion! i tried not to do that in this chapter. sorry if i missed some of them! I hope you enjoy long-awaited "shower scene"!
fairybells: here is the update! kudos for the review! I think it is safe to say that a human walks in on james...muah-hahahaha.
Creshton Street: a "real" cookie! this is the only kind of cookie i've gotten before! COOKIE! lol. I'm exactly opposite with regards to LJ fics, i like when they are apart for longer (only when the author can pull off humor). and i'm sorry but this is the only kind ican give you for the review: COOKIE!
bellebuckbeak: you and someone else suggested the same thing! so i tried not to in this chapter! i hope i succeeded!When i was going through my author alert emails, i accidently added the bot fanfiction .com to my block senders list. i didn't realize it until a few days ago because one of my other sisters recently became infatuated with fanfic and its been hard to get the computer! grr... Enjoy! Cookies for you!
Prongsie-Jamesie: i don't know why i am replying to you! you still haven't reviewed my chapter alex-as lamocha (is that right) you poop! grrrrrr! 5555555555555555555555555555555! cheers from Kukkai! 555555555555555 you already read it but enjoy! (p.s. no cookies to you!)
12. Lethifolds and Eclairs
"Hey Moony." Sirius' eyes were glowing!
What is he up to!
"Wicked party last night, wasn't it?" The old dog winked at me!
"I hardly think this time is a 'party' for Remus," I spat. Sometimes, Sirius is seriously inconsiderate.
Doesn't it ever occur to him that Remus doesn't enjoy the full moon.
"Don't look at me in that tone of voice!" Sirius shouted, as if I were all the way across the Heads' Common room. His voice stabbing my fragile eardrums.
"I'm right here! Are you suffering from insanity!" I screamed, and in my opinion, equally as loud, even though the stinging of my inner ear was absent.
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it." Sirius crossed his arms, stuck out his bottom lip, and turned away from me like a spoiled school girl.
I thought I was the only one in who could do that!
"You know, it's better for everyone to think you're an idiot rather than open your mouth and prove it."
I glanced at the light brown haired boy beside me, the twinkle in his orbs confirming his being fully entertained by our foolish quarrel.
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"
"A word to the wise, never argue with idiots. They just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience." Remus kindly advised me.
He had a point.
"A word to the wise does no good. It's the stupid people out there that need the help!" Sirius stood up and stomped across the room, furniture shaking along the way.
He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and shouted, "James your girlfriend is a real pain in the—"
You stop shouting too if you got clobbered by the pillow of an angry redhead.
I glared at Black. Slowly, he sidled to the edge of a squashy chair.
With a Siriusly over-dramatized dive he landed with a huge thud! behind the massive couch.
As Remus and I were beginning an intriguing conversation about Lethifolds, the couch groaned "Ow!"
Sirius really isn't that smart, when you think about it.
"The Lethifold is also named the living shroud." Remus continued. "They are found solely in the tropics, and are fortunately rare."
"Ah yes. These Lethifolds, they resemble black cloaks and are rumored to be only half of an inch thick." I remembered out loud.
"But…" Lupin interrupted, "But, they are supposedly even thicker after recently killing its prey, because they are still digesting the victim."
"True, true. They glide around at night, so they have more camouflage, if I remember correctly."
"Yes. In fact, they are so well hidden that the earliest account we have is that of the wizard Flavius Belby, who was fortunate enough to endure a Lethifold attack. He had been vacationing in Papua, New Guinea in 1782 when he was attacked."
"His narration of the attack can be found in Newt Scamander's Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them on page 26."
"Indubitably, the Lethifold proceeded to slide onto his face while he was sleeping, and cover his mouth and nostrils, in an attempt to smother him. Bebly tried to eradicate the Lethifold with the Stupefying Charm and the Impediment Curse."
"The Patronus Charm is in reality the only thing capable of affecting the Lethifold. Since it mainly attacks sleeping victims, many do not have time enough to repel the living shroud."
"Once the target has been successfully slayed, the Lethifold ingests the body, in their bed, where they were murdered, and exits the room slightly fatter and thicker than before."
"No trace of the victim is left behind, so there is no possible way of knowing how many lives have been ended by this dangerous creature." I finished.
While we had been recounting the Lethifold, Sirius had left the room.
I presumed he went to the kitchens, and was proven correct when he entered the room levitating five silver trays.
He made the serving dishes land on the table without a sound. As if the slightest jolt would spoil his booty.
"Milady," he bowed while offering me a chocolate éclair.
After I removed the delicious pastry from his hand, he quickly snatched up three of his own, shoved them in his mouth, and while chewing took the privilege to shower me and the rest of the room with little bits of éclair.
Deciding I wouldn't worry about my chocolate and cream covered shirt at the moment, I sunk my teeth into the so-called éclair.
The taste that entered my mouth was revolting. It is what I imagined a mixture of oil, mud, tomatoes, and hardboiled egg tasted like; as I yanked my head away from the disgusting dessert, the strong odor of sulfur danced in my nose.
"Sirius!" I started, while trying not to gag. "That was—"
"What? That was what?"
"That was—"
"That was what? The suspense is killing me!"
"As it should," added Moony.
"Excuse me!" I uttered while racing towards the stairs.
I had to get to our bathroom! Sirius yelled something inaudible. What was that about a shower? Oh well, I needed to wash out my mouth, try not to hurl, and brush my teeth fifty times.
(Excuse the interruption, please keep all hands, feet, and body parts close as we are thrown into a Sirius mind for a couple of moments.)
Did it work? Did it work? CAANN YOOUU HEEAARR MEE?
Jolly good.
Now that I have your complete and undivided attention, I would like you to pay impossibly close attention.
There is no room for slackers in the mind of a genius.
So if you feel the need to look away from the screen at this point in time…there will be Sirius reparations.
Did you catch that play on words?
Bravo! Good show!
"Moony, do you think my pl… I mean our plan is working?" I asked fully excited.
I don't even know why I said our. I know and you know that I came up with the entire thing.
Okay, fine!
Maybe he did help…. a little….an insanely small amount….so small it almost doesn't exist…. almost not existing as in….
"As long as you made sure James took a shower."
Damn, Remus always interrupts at the best parts.
"Ah yes, you can use a biscuit for anything…"
Moony gave a weird look, as if he has never heard that common saying ever in his life before.
And they call me the airhead.
"Was James still in the shower when Lily ran upstairs?"
"Of course. James always takes nauseatingly long showers." He really takes too long in the shower. Even longer when he knows I need to take one next.
How irritating. He's just jealous because girls like me better. And I'm just jealous that girls don't like me after I jilt them.
No biggie. Not everyone can be a winner!
Lupin was interrupting again, (so I just quickly want to announce that I was about to say— I'll get back to you…)(no that is not what I was going to say! Gawd!)"I told James he should stop calling it 'his' bathroom!" Moony chuckled.
"I just hope your silencing charm worked, so Lily can't hear the shower running before she is already in the bathroom."
"I didn't put one on it." He calmly announced.
"What! This could ruin the whole plan! Why!" I yelled flabberghasted.
"No need to. Lily heard James singing in the shower the second day of the year and put a permanent silencing charm on it."
Oh, right. I forgot.
"Well," I breathed out. I closed my eyes and leaned back, relaxing on the couch. "She is in for a surprise!"
Au revoir! Arreviderci! Bye! Aloha! Call me sometime!
Just a couple more feet and I would be able to spit out the-paste-of-taste-torture.
I placed my hand on the door-knob.
Wait! Something isn't right!
Where is James?
Okay let's use reason.
1. When James is in his room he closes the door.
2. When James isn't in his room he closes the door.
Oh. Not helping.
I turned the knob. It was unlocked.
Phew! He is in his room! No worries!
I pushed the door forward and ran to the sink, twisting the 'warm' handle until the water was running fast enough for me to collect it in my hands.
As I lifted the water to my grossness invaded mouth, I realized the sink was not the only running water.
I switched the handle to off and slowly turned around without washing my mouth out. My orbs grew to the size of overly large saucers!
The shower was on, and both you and I know the shower doesn't go on unless someone is in it.
Eh-hem! Let's just say I found James!
The first thing I noticed, through the shiny glass, was his deer-in-headlights look, then my eyes, decided to umm…..travel a bit….
Okay…a lot….
My eyes were glued to his broad shoulders and muscular arms. His skin looked so smooth. I could see why the girls swooned over him.
Afterwards, my orbs became slightly more daring, and wandered over his chest and abs. Each bump in his abdominal region calling out to me. Begging me to touch them.
Then my naughty little eyes, they shifted a little further south!
Is it safe to say I found a six-pack and some gems?
Those are the only details I will reveal to my friends any who.
"Umm… Lily don't you think this is going a little fast?" He asked, trying hard not to laugh.
Those mocking words set fire to my skin. I could feel my pale complexion heat up, and become….well…not so pale anymore.
You know the Crayola crayon called Brick Red? Hi, that's me!
He cracked up by himself, how lame!
"Ha ha…not funny James. I recall telling you I wouldn't date you in a million years."
"Yeah, so!"
"I stand by my previous response, your hideousness." I
I forced my eyes to stay on his face. It was hard, but I managed to keep them focused.
After a few awkward moments of scrutinizing each other, in which I realized James had charcoal black ringlets when his hair was wet, James asked, "Could you hand me a towel?"
I grabbed the closest towel to me. To my dismay it was a washcloth. "Lily!" He lifted up his eyebrow in a suggestive manner.
I rolled my eyes as obviously as possible.
"Shut it James!" I shouted. My back turned towards him, I fumbled around next to the sink and found the largest towel on the rack.
"That's more like it!"
He stopped the shower.
No more water exited the silver faucet.
No more droplets jumped about his body.
No more steam danced daintily above the glass walls which had been the cause of my….misery or luck?
James slowly pulled the glass door creating an opening in the only thing keeping us separated. I opened the towel and quickly looked away.
As I became engrossed in the elegant chandelier-like light, I heard one of James water-drenched feet come in contact with the cold black tile floor.
I knew he was coming closer. With each slap! creating a shorter distance between us… no him and me.
Slowly, the awful taste fled my mouth, and the scent of James flooded my nostrils, replacing the vulgar scent of sulfur.
I felt blood rushing to my face continuously. I thought I had just passed the barrier between heat exhaustion and heat stroke.
The pressure on the towel told me James was grabbing the cushy, red material. I let go of it.
Only, to learn James in fact did not have hold of it. James and I both bent down to pick it up.
Gravity was working against me. The blood couldn't counteract the force and stayed firmly planted in my face.
James grasped the towel and slowly covered himself up. The look on his face hinting he didn't want my embarrassment to end.
When his towel was secure, I straightened myself out. The top of my head collided with the bottom of his chin.
"Ow!" I groaned, rubbing the top of my head.
The perfect height! Gawsh! My own mind was against me!
My heart rate increased. We were so close to each other. I noticed his hazel almonds glimmering with happiness, like a life-long goal being achieved in a day.
I could feel his soft breath reach the delicate skin cells on my face, tickling them. A small chill shot up my spine, shifting every vertebra into a new position and then back again.
Just then, I heard a loud bang! emit from the open door
"Black!" I scowled.
I failed to notice James leaning towards me, as I dashed out of the room to put that nasty dog out of his misery.
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