A Smashy Amazing Race
Leg three
Thanks to tikitikirevenge for helping me. Yeah.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Nintendo, but I am currently drinking a nice tasty can of good ol' Wscheppes™!

A SMASHY AMAZING RACE

"Welcome to the Smashy Amazing Race! Of course, last week, this episode's destination was a secret, so we put Congo Jungle there to confuse you! If you don't like watching this show, then sit down and have a Pepscike™ family fun drink!"

The teams are (don't worry, this is the only list in this whole page):
Nana and Popo (Dr. Salt™)
Pichu and Pikachu (Pepscike™)
Kirby and Yoshi (Cokepsi™)
Peach and Bowser (Dountain Mew™)
Ganondorf and Young Link (Spite™)
Ness and Mewtwo (Boral C™)
Zelda and Samus (Baco Tell™)
Link and Jigglypuff (E. Coli™)
Falcon and DK (Ragnier™)
Fox and Falco (Too weird to get any sponsors)

"Last episode, we visited Mushroom Kingdom! Nana and Popo, and Samus and Zelda had a huge fight. Ness and Mewtwo stole a plane and went off with Kirby and Yoshi, Pikachu and Pichu, Falcon and DK and Bowser and Peach! Falcon and Donkey Kong well… accidentally fell out of the plane and almost risked elimination, but with a close call with Marth and Roy, they didn't face elimination!" said Master Hand.
"After every pit stop each team gets a mandatory rest period, where teams have the chance to eat, sleep and mingle with the other teams."

LEG THREE

"Ness and Mewtwo arrived at 3:20 PM, they will depart at 3:20 AM," announced Master Hand.

Ness and Mewtwo
Boral C™
Currently in 1st Place

Ness opened the envelope and read.

"Contestants must now make their way to Mushroom Airport and book a flight to Utopreah, in Shiver Star. They then must make their way to Island Iceburg (bad spelling on purpose), where they will find their next clue buried under 20 feet of snow," said a voiceover from Master Hand.

Suddenly, Fox and Falco burst through the door.
"Shiver Star!" screamed Falco, as he ran through the hallway. "Let's…"
CRACKKKK! PLOOM! The floorboards underneath Fox and Falco broke near the front door, and Fox and Falco fell into a cave full of mouse traps, cobras, and Koopas running in circles. At this same time, a sign came down from the ceiling, with the words, "You've been booby trapped by Bowser!". Ness and Mewtwo looked down, and then joyfully skipped down holding hands into a taxi.

Zelda and Samus
Baco Tell™
Currently in 3rd place
Zelda and Samus ran out of the room, around the big hole in the floor and then ran into the front courtyard.
"Taxi!" screamed Zelda.
A taxi screeched on the curb.
"Get ready…" said the Koopa taxi driver as Zelda and Samus walked in, "To meet your fate…"
"Pardon?" replied Samus.
"Oh… Nothing…" replied the Koopa.

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 4th place
"Yoshi!" shouted Yoshi, motioning to Kirby, who was stealing Peach's apples. "Hurry up, Kirby, we're going to Shiver Star!"
"Okay," replied Kirby, "Let's go!" He quickly grabbed a minibar.
Kirby and Yoshi ran out and then stopped near a large hole in the ground.
"Yoshi?" replied Yoshi. "I hope you spat out your seeds."
"Whoops," replied Kirby, spitting them into the hole.
"Ow!"

Pichu and Pikachu
Pepscike™
Currently in 5th Place
"Piika?" asked Pikachu. "Why don't you put down those granite bowling balls somewhere?"
Pichu dropped them into a rather large hole near them.
"Pich!" replied Pichu. "I'm sure glad there's no one down there!"
Pichu and Pikachu laughed and walked out of the door.

Peach and Bowser
Dountain Mew™
Currently in 5th Place
Peach and Bowser strolled through the hallway, until Peach noticed a sign.
"Booby trapped by Bowser…" read Peach. "I'm sure glad you wouldn't do something like that, Bowser!"
Bowser laughed nervously and then walked out.
"Oh…" murmured Peach.
"Yes?" replied Bowser.
"Oh nothing… I just need to drop 500 tonnes worth of anvils into this convenient hole, that's all."
"Oh, okay."

Nana and Popo
Dr Salt™
Currently in 6th Place
"Come on Popo! The leaders are almost an hour ahead of us!" screamed Nana.
"Sorry, I was just trying to be part of the running joke," replied Popo.
"Running joke?" said Nana. "It's not like there are two anthropomorphic space pilots trapped in there or anything. I can safely throw these used surgical needles in there."

Link and Jigglypuff
E. Coli™
Currently in 7th Place
"Jigglypuff!" screamed Link.
But the Jigglypuff only wanted to eat these mutated Hippo eggs! Eggs? Jigglypuff stuffed them straight into her mouth.
"Jigglypuff, I hope you please don't eat anymore hippo eggs, they're the first thing that leads to someone trying to stab an endangered… Jigglypuff… are you still there with me?" asked Link.
But all she heard was "Jigglypuff… please… stab… me…"

Young Link and Ganondorf
Too Weird to get any sponsors
Currently in 8th Place
"Hey Ganondorf, you elegantly quite very nice not evil nice non-drugging person, why do you keep on feeding me these suspiciously delightful snacks when you don't have any at all?" asked Young Link.
"Shut up and keep eating those chips," replied Ganondorf pouring liquids onto Young Link's snack.

Falcon and DK
Ragnier™
Currently in 8th place
"Taxi!" shouted Falcon.
"Hop on in…" replied an overweight Koopa.
"Take us to the airport!" told DK.
"Yes… I see you've brought your handbag… Falcon…" replied the Koopa menacingly.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 2nd Place
"I hope you haven't got any sharp items…" said the Koopa.
"Oh… No… We don't…" replied Samus, in a kind voice.
"Great, Samus," replied the Koopa.

Falcon and DK
Ragnier™
Currently in 8th Place
"Do you guys have any weapons or sharp things?" asked M… I mean… the Koopa taxi driver.
"No," replied DK and Falcon.
"Good," replied Ma… the Koopa.
The Koopa took out his walkie talkie and started to talk.
"Operation 'stop the smashers' is underway," spoke the Koopa. Yeah, really, the Koopa.
"Why do Koopas have zips?" asked Donkey Kong.
"I don't know," replied the Koopa. "Let's speed up."
"Why are you going 230 kilometres an hour?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Don't you want to win the race?" asked the Koopa taxi driver.
"Not really, actually, I did this to make up with Samus," explained Falcon.
"And my (forced) wife Peach is kind of giving me a hard time at home, I wanted to be with a close friend," replied Donkey Kong.

Fox and Falco
Currently in Last Place
Too weird to get any sponsors
Fox removed the doorknob from his ears and they climbed up out of the deep hole in Peach's castle.
"How are we going to get to the airport?" asked Falco.
"I'll hold on to you," replied Fox.
Fox squinted his eyes, pushed hard, and a streaming ball of fire came out of Fox's butt.
"HIYA!" screamed Fox.
"Isn't your butt going to be sore after this?" asked Falco.
"HIYA!" screamed Fox, flying another ten metres. "Okay, I'm all warmed up!"

Jigglypuff and Link
Currently in 8th Place
E Coli™
"Why have Fox and Falco passed us?" asked Link.
"Jig?" asked Jigglypuff. "Maybe because that pot plant you stole ate our taxi driver?"
"I guess you're right!" replied Link.
"Jig Ig Jig!" "I guess we'll have to walk into the sunset!"
Jigglypuff and Link trotted and galloped along, holding hands, but because Link was taller than Jigglypuff, every two seconds Jigglypuff got smashed into the ground.

Falcon and DK
Ragnier™
Currently in 5th Place
"Yes! Go taxi driver!" shouted DK, at the taxi driver passing Nana and Popo.
"Pichu and Pichu we passed!" announced Falcon.
"Kirby and Yoshi!" screamed DK.
"Ness and Mewtwo!" shouted Falcon.
"Only one more to pass, and, for the first time, we'll be first!" celebrated Falcon.
"Oh… there'll be one short detour after this!" laughed the Koopa, taking off his mask, pulling over.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 1st Place
"I'm sorry Samus," said the Koopa, taking off his mask. "But I'm going to have to kill you!"
"Really, Roy?" asked Zelda, jabbing a knife into Roy's neck.

Falcon and DK
Currently in 2nd Place
"What will that be?" asked Donkey Kong.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
Samus and Zelda opened the door, and ran back to Falcon and Donkey Kong's taxi.

Fox and Falco
Currently in 6th Place
"HIYA! HIYA!"

Falcon and DK
Currently in 2nd Place
"Well Falcon, you see after you hit me with your handbag…"

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
"Get out of the taxi, Falcon!" screamed Samus.

Fox and Falco
Currently in 5th Place
"HIYA! HIYA!"

Falcon and DK
Currently in 2nd Place
"…I really hated it, so we kind of set you all up, and we're trying to murder everyone, me, Marth."
"Do you know who he is?" asked Falcon, whispering.

Fox and Falco
Currently in 4th Place
"HIYA! HIYA!"

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
"Get out, Donkey Kong!" said Samus.

Fox and Falco
Currently in 3rd Place
"HIYA! HIYA!"

Falcon and Donkey Kong
Currently in 2nd Place
Marth put two guns up at Donkey Kong and Falcon's necks.
"Bye Falcon and Donkey Kong!" laughed Marth.

Yoshi
Very Hungry
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi.

Fox and Falco
Currently in 1st Place
"Hey Falco, let's rob this crazy guy dressed as a Koopa!" said Falco.
Fox threw a mallet at Marth.
"Where are we going?" asked a very confused Donkey Kong.
"The airport," replied Fox, taking control of the taxi.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 3rd Place
"Samus, get in the car!" shouted Zelda.

Kirby
Not so very hungry
"I shouldn't have eaten the driver."

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 1st Place
"Yoshi?" asked Yoshi in an angry tone. "Are you sure you can drive?"
Kirby had bundled together the 'Koopa pages', sat on them, and put auto-pilot on the car.
"Yoshi!" screamed Yoshi. "Watch out for that red light!"
Kirby turned auto off and then about 12 cars crashed into the back of them.
"Look, it's the airport!" said Kirby. Kirby and Yoshi got out and walked into the airport.

Fox and Falco
Too weird to get any sponsors
Currently in 2nd Place
"What was all that about?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Someone dressed up as a Koopa and then tried to kill you," replied Fox.
"Oh, so that's why we were held up at gunpoint…" said Falcon, "It's starting to loop together now…"
"You'd have to be someone really crazy, like Marth," replied Donkey Kong.
Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 4th Place
Samus gained control of the wheel, and started to steer. Suddenly, Mario and Luigi pulled up next to them, and then started ramming into Samus and Zelda's taxi.
"Whoops, sorry…" laughed Mario.
"Yeah, sorry…" laughed Luigi, steering into the girls' taxi.
"How are we going to get rid of them?" asked Zelda.
"Don't worry Samus, we'll get this sorted out, in a verbal, non-violent way…" replied Samus.

Peach and Bowser
Dountain Mew™
Currently in 5th Place
Peach and Bowser overtook Samus and Zelda's taxi.
"Oh, it's so nice to see Samus and Zelda, and Mario and Luigi playing so nicely!" cheered Peach.
"DON'T…" shouted Samus, forcing a crowbar into the front window of Mario and Luigi's convertible.
"RAM…" continued Samus, throwing a brick forcing Mario's cap off.
"YOUR CAR…" continued Samus, lighting a stick of dynamite and throwing it into Mario's car.
"INTO…" growled Samus, ramming the taxi into the other car.
"OUR…" continued Samus, while hitting Luigi with a saucepan.
"CAR!" shrieked Samus. Mario and Luigi's car blew up, and fell into a river right near the road.
"You're a very good talker you know, Samus," complimented Zelda.
"Thank you," said Samus.
"May I try?" said Zelda.
They swapped around in the middle of the highway.

Young Link and Ganondorf
Spite™
Currently in 6th Place
"Ooh," said Young Link. "I hear machine guns!"
"Are you still drugged?" asked Ganondorf.
"Why would you drug me, you attractive nice young kind man?" replied Young Link.
"Yeah, why would I?" laughed Ganondorf nervously. "Oh, here's the airport!"
Ganondorf forced the door open with a crowbar and they walked to the airport.

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 1st Place
"What's that?" asked Kirby, in a gift shop.
"Yoshi hur Yoshi!" replied Yoshi. "Oh, I'm so glad you're interested in this quantum physics book. Maybe this will draw our friendship closer!"
"It's a universal remote control!" shouted Kirby, pointing to the remote control near the quantum physics book.
"Yoshi," cried a disappointed Yoshi. "Oh darn."
"What does this do?" asked Kirby, pressing a button.
A spaceship crash landed right in the centre of the shop, with lots of sirens going off and singers singing: "Badoop doop buh!"
"Yeah…" said Kirby.
Kirby and Yoshi boarded their 7:30 flight, and took off.
"What does this button do?" asked Kirby, pressing a button. Suddenly, the airport started to rotate in random sequences and a thousand pigeons started to sing: "Badoop doop buh!"

Link and Jigglypuff
E Coli™
Currently in 7th Place
"It looks like the airport is rotating in random sequences!" said Link.
"Jig Ig Jig!" explained Jigglypuff "I guess we'll have to walk into the sunset!"
"But Jigglypuff, its sunrise!" replied Link.
"Jig Ig Jig!" replied Jigglypuff. "I guess we'll have to settle with walking into the sunrise!"

Master Hand had a voiceover. "Kirby and Yoshi took off first with Koopa Air and they will be arriving in Shiver Star at 15:30, Shiver Star time!
Peach and Bowser, Ganondorf and Young Link, Ness and Mewtwo, Samus and Zelda, Pichu and Pikachu, Falcon and DK and Nana and Popo are taking the 07:50 flight and will arrive at Shiver Star at 15:45, local time!
Link and Jigglypuff are walking into the sunset, but we don't know when they'll get there!
Fox and Falco will be getting their own transport, but their ship is quite unreliable! Once again, their next clue will be buried under 20 feet of snow on a marked area in Island Iceburg."

Fox and Falco
Too weird to get sponsors
Currently in last place
Falco and Fox downed the methane/cabbage salad.
They waited.
"So…" said Falco, "Have you read any good movies lately?"
"No," replied Fox. "Have you watched any good books lately?"
"Yes," said Falco. "It was amazing. In the fi-"
They took off.

Link and Jigglypuff
E Coli™
Currently in 1st Place
"How does walking into the sunset help us get to Shiver Star?" asked Link.
Jigglypuff pointed to the sky.
"Yes, so- what the? This isn't the Mushroom Kingdom! This is Shiver Star!"
Jigglypuff did a happy dance. Stupid coincidence wins again!
"Look, there's the airport, Jigglypuff, and our clue is dug under one of these marked areas!" explained Link. "Come on, let's dig! I hope we will, and I'm… oops, we are going to find it! It would be stupid if we didn't find it first, Jigglypuff. Come on!"
"Look… Jigglypuff… I'm… stupid…" heard Jigglypuff.

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 2nd Place
"Look, there's Island Iceburg!" shouted Kirby. SUUUUUCK! Kirby ran over and then sucked about 20 feet of snow out, and took the clue.
"Thanks Kirby," said a Cappy, who was buried deep under the snow. "You saved my life! My mother and father, my wi…" Kirby ate him, too.
"Yoshi Yoshi shi?" "Why did you eat him?"
Kirby looked at Yoshi and started drooling.
"Yoshi." "Never mind."

Fox and Falco
Too weird to get any sponsors
Currently in 3rd Place
"Jigglypuff, we're near the edge of the sea!" said Link to Jigglypuff.
"Jig Ig!" shouted Jigglypuff, grabbing the clues.
"I'll be taking that," said Fox, snatching the clue. "You see Link, all your 'we're near the edge of the sea stuff' isn't good for Jigglypuff. You see we are far more superior to you and we will be the people who push you around. You see, the next time you'll see us you'll be way off at the back, and probably will be eliminated. Bye!"
"Jigglypuff… push… us… off…"
"Jig!" shouted Jigglypuff. "Okay!" Jigglypuff pushed Fox and Falco off the iceberg into the sea, but managed to catch the clue.
"Thank goodness you stopped them!" said Link. "Let's go!"
Captain Falcon and Donkey Kong stopped next to them. "Where do we dig?" asked C. Falcon.
Jigglypuff, stopping to catch her breath, leaned on Captain Falcon for (physical) support.
"What's that pushing my leg?" he asked.
Jigglypuff accidentally rolled into Falcon, sending both of them falling off the iceberg.
"Noooooo!" cried Donkey Kong, looking at his partner fall into the abyss (I finally have an excuse to use that word!).
"No!" shouted Link, pulling out his patented hookshot and letting it rappel down the face of the iceburg.
Just as Jigglypuff was about to hit the frozen sea, the hookshot snatched her back up again.
"Quick!" yelled Donkey Kong to Link. "Use your pointy thingy to get Falcon off!"
"Uh… Master Hand… you have stuff to say… right?" quickly asked Link.

"Um… the frozen sea that Falcon just got splattered on? I could talk about that for hours- oh, the show. Right! Er… the contestants have to go to Technicolour Mall, the mall with the lowest prices and the highest quality! …where they will find their next clue.
"Technicolour Mall is renowned by designers galaxy-wide for being the building which most misuses cute kiddie pastel colours, closely beating the Death Death room in Neo Star, which is painted in pink and beige. The mall is popular with people interested in buying technological goods, hand-crafted goods, cute fuzzy toys, and dead pop idols. That's why everybody says:
"If you're after really cheap, fun goods
Don't try to buy in the Whispy Woods,
No, come to Technicolour Mall today,
And shop in a happy joyful playful funny cute popular recommended liability-free way!"

Peach and Bowser
Dountain Mew™
Currently in 4th Place
"Wow, thank you for that informative information Master Hand," said Peach, facing the camera.
"Yeah, thank you sooo much," said Bowser.
"I'm not going to help you cheat," said Master Hand.
"Curses," said Peach, still smiling.
"That speech was truly terrible," said Bowser.

Nana and Popo
Dr. Salt
Currently in 5th Place
"Hey Nana, I found this giant granite thing covered in seaweed," shouted Popo.
"Well, we'll have to put it back where it came from… the SEA!" shouted Nana. Nana grabbed the granite object and threw it off the side.
"I'm glad no two animals with their names starting with 'F' were down there," said Popo.
"What about Falcon, he's an animal!" laughed Nana.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 6th Place
"I don't have the heart to push Donkey Kong off," said Zelda.
"Me too," replied Samus, boiling some salt water with her phaser and pouring it underneath Donkey Kong.

Pichu and Pikachu
Pepscike™
Currently in 7th Place
"Iika Pika Chu!" said Pikachu. "Hey Pichu, don't dump that rubbish on the ice, dump it where it belongs…"
"Pi?" asked Pichu. "The dump?"
"Pi Pika Chu!" replied Pikachu. "No, the sea!"

Falcon and DK
Ragnier™
Currently in Last Place
"Oh look!" pointed out Donkey Kong, "A lifeboat!"
"Not that you're climbing on it," shouted Fox, helping Falco on, leaving Donkey Kong and Falcon to tread water until help came. Suddenly, 243 surgical needles simultaneously jabbed into Fox's arm. Suddenly, aliens abducted Donkey Kong and Falcon and dropped them off on the iceberg. Suddenly, Donkey Kong felt like singing: "Badoop doop buh!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 1st Place
Kirby opened an envelope and looked in.
"Detour!" shouted Kirby. "Buy or… sell? Those words don't rhyme. They have nothing to do with each other!"

"In Buy, teams must find their way around the mall and obtain a golden tennis racquet, and then obtain their next clue by going to the information desk. The task seems easy, but since the mall is so hard to navigate, the contestants will have to use all their wits, threats, and random dumb luck to find one.
"In Sell, teams must head to the kiosk on the third floor to pick up twenty bottles of New Water Flavoured Cokepsi™! They then must head outside the mall and sell them for a profit of at least one hundred dollars! (For those of you who are bad at math, that's 100 minus 20: eighty dollars each.)"

"Let's do sell!" announced Kirby. Kirby pressed a button and then the kiosk from the third floor jumped into the centre of the ground floor. "That was convenient."

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 2nd Place
"Let's do sell!" said Zelda.
"We won't even have to sell anything!" said Samus.
"What do y…" asked Zelda.
Samus walked up to a nearby shopper.
"Hi shopper, would you like to donate me 100 dollars?" asked Samus, who was about thirteen times as tall as any Shiver Starian. "Please?"
"No thank you," said a scared shopper.
"OBEY THE PHASER!" screamed Samus. "Thank you, and thank you for shopping at Samus's."
Samus and Zelda ran to the kiosk, gave 100 dollars to the owner and then ran out with the clue.

Link and Jigglypuff
E Coli™
Currently in 3rd Place
"Jig?" asked Jigglypuff, standing in the casino section of the Gambling Awareness stall. "Can I gamble?"
"Well Jigglypuff, gambling is the thing that leads to emotional and family breakdowns," explained Link.
"Jig?" replied Jigglypuff. "Just one try!"
"Okay."
Jigglypuff put a quarter in, and then 30 quarters came out.
"Jigglypuff, you won! But after that, you'll start losing!" explained Link.
"That's right," said George, the non-gambler. "After a while you'd lose all the coins, so give me 29 coins, and I'll give you one."
Jigglypuff ran off, got a gumball, and started blowing.
"And Link, for being so responsible, I'm giving you this clue!"
"Thanks, George!" shouted Link.
Jigglypuff kept on blowing.
"I'll take that!" said Fox, snatching the clue.
Jigglypuff kept on blowing.
"You see, you are so darn annoying, I mean, why did you choose Jigglypuff? I spit in your face! You're like the gum she's blowing, easy to pop! I laugh into your face. Falco and I will be going now. I mean… you suck!"
"Jigglypuff… spit… the gum… into… me…"
Jig! Jigglypuff spat the gum into Fox's face and then Fox flew up into the ceiling with the large gum pushing him up.

Young Link and Ganondorf
Spite™
Currently in 5th Place
"Buy or sell?" asked Ganondorf.
"I like… words… connecting words… she like…" replied Young Link.

Peach and Bowser
Dountain Mew™
Currently in 6th Place
"Cokepsi? Who wants Cokepsi?" asked Bowser.
"Donkey Kong and Falcon, would, you like, some Cokepsi, water?" asked Peach ungrammatically.
"Oh, definitely," replied Falcon, taking all 20 bottles.
"Wait, aren't we supposed to sell them, not buy them?" asked Donkey Kong.
"GRR!" screamed Falcon.

Pichu and Pikachu
Pepscike™
Currently in 8th Place
"Pi Pichu?" asked Pichu to a shopper. "Do you want some Cokepsi?"
"Yes, I'll adopt you," replied a big blue bird, giving 100 dollars to Pikachu and taking Pichu away.
Pichu looked nervously and then zapped the big blue bird.
"You hurt the king!" announced a shopper.
"Yay!" cried another shopper.
"For that, I'll give you a clue," said a guy nearby.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 1st Place
"Yeah, the next clue!" shouted Zelda.
"Head to the factory," read Samus.

"The Shiver Star factory," said Master Hand, master of the hands, "is the largest factory in the entire solar system, and is renowned for quality products such as Waddle-Dee-In-A-Box, Small-Packaged-Henchcreature, Waddle-Dees-In-Several-Boxes, and randomly dropping spikes, cog wheels, weights, balconies, and Waddle-Dee-In-A-Boxes.
"Contestants will have to create five Waddle-Dee-In-A-Boxes, which is harder than it looks, as Waddle Dees are notoriously easy to implode, combust, or occasionally disappear. How do the factory workers do it, you ask? They don't! Giant high-precision robots locate Waddle Dees and ask them to walk into open boxes."

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
Currently in 2nd Place
"Hi little Waddle Dee…" said Kirby, leaning down to a Waddle Dee waving its arms very really very fast. "Would you like some New Cokepsi™ Water Flavour?"
The Waddle Dee blew up, sending money flying everywhere.
"Good enough," said Kirby. "Yoshi, you get the clue inside the mall, while I dri- guard the Water Cokepsi™."

Link and Jigglypuff
E Coli™
Currently in 3rd place
"Okay!" said Link. "Where's the factory?"
Jigglypuff shrugged. She was too busy admiring the big factory and all the signs pointing to the factory and all the factory robots factoring in the necessary factor to factorize the defactored fractical factorical factory to worry about Link and his silly old "factory".
Link shifted his gaze by about 0.5 degrees and 30 minutes and immediately noticed the factory.
"Let's go!" he said.
No! thought Jigglypuff. Jiggypuff wants to walk into the sunset! Which is in the general direction of the factory!

Young Link and Ganondorf
Spite™
Currently in 4th place
"LISTEN YE ALL!" commanded Ganondorf through a megaphone he had bought in the golden tennis racquet-selling shoe shop. "I COMMAND YOU ALL TO TELL ME WHERE THE GOLDEN TENNIS RACQUET CAN BE PURCHASED, OR YOU ALL SHALL FACE A PAINFUL DEATH BY NEW AGE MUSIC!"
Everyone remained silent.
"I don't believe this," said Ganondorf. "If only Young Link hadn't gone and drugged himself. Or did I drug him?"
"You drugged me…" said Young Link, waking up from his drug-induced trance at a coincidental moment.
"Young Link!" said Ganondorf. "I know that we're supposed to be enemies and everything, but we have to work together. You hear me?"
"Yep," said Young Link, testing out the earmuffs.
"Okay, then. I need you to help me find the golden tennis racquet."
"Worry about your conquests later. Let's finish the race!"
"You mrtl fool! This IS what we need to get through to the final leg!"
"Oh," said Young Link.
"I've tried megaphoning crowds, I've tried killing random people, I even tried using the map to find the right shop! Do you have any ideas?"
"Hmm…" said Young Link, stroking his beard.

Nana and Popo
Dr. Salt™
Currently in 5th place
Nana and Popo abseiled up the walls of the Shiver Star Mall, crawled into the air ducts, and landed in the shop. They grabbed the bounty, and did an amazing dive out of the window, landing gently in the snow.
"That was too easy," said Popo.
"We were supposed to get a golden tennis racquet, not a golden ice cream, you idiot!" said Nana.
"See? There's always a catch."
Nana and Popo abseiled up the walls of the Shiver Star Mall, crawled into the air ducts, and landed in the shop. They grabbed their target, and did an amazing dive out of the window, landing gently in the snow.
"We got it!" said Nana.
"That's a home run bat."
While Popo went flying through the air, Nana abseiled up the walls of the Shiver Star Mall, crawled into the air ducts, and landed in the shop. She grabbed the golden tennis racquet, and did an amazing dive out of the window, landing gently in the snow.
"Let's go, Popo," said Nana.
"Popo?" said Nana.

Peach and Bowser
Dountain Mew™
Currently in 6th place
Peach was sitting in a leather chair, talking to the camera. "Well, when Bowser dropped the Bob-Omb in the parking lot, I thought he was joking. I was like, 'Hey, Bowser, what are you going to do now? Hit it?' I didn't realise that he was open to suggestions. It was all his fault. I never did anything. He was the one who thought it would help us find the racquet!"
"Peach!" called Bowser. "I've found the racquet!"
"Got to go," said Peach, hastily doing her two-minute complex ballet curtsey.

Ness and Mewtwo
Boral C™
Currently in P(n+18/18-ab/ba)th place
"Isn't it cheating when you read the organizer's mind to find out where the pit stop is?" said Ness.
"Why would you care?" thought Mewtwo.
"You're too stupid to know about caring," said Ness. "I bet your IQ is barely over the square of 19."
"I'll take that as a compliment," said Mewtwo warningly. "Not that you'd know anything about IQ's, mister three-hundred-and-sixteen."
"Hey!" said Ness. "You know that's untrue. And I still beat those two weirdo kids."
"Wait. If 316 314, x : x 314, x stuff?" wondered Mewtwo.
"n – 78 shuttheheckup – b," replied Ness.
Jigglypuff went running past them, dragging Link along.
"Ouch," said Ness.
"Hey! The cameraman's still there. I thought we lost them!"
"PK… er… what was that word for visible heat?"
"Fire."
"PK Fire!"
"Nooo!" screamed the cameraman.
Static.
White noise.
Static.
And other such inferior brands.

Young Link and Ganondorf
Spite™
Currently in 6th place
"Pardon me, mister," said Young Link innocently.
The person sleeping on the Information Desk woke up. "Yes?"
"Well…" Young Link started to cry. "My parents were… taken away… by a storm… no, evil wizard… evil wizard storm… and the only way to free them… is to find… the…" he broke into tears. "THE GO- GO- golden tennis racquet…" he finished anticlimactically.
"Oh, you poor child," said the guy. "I'll tell you, but only because you're not Ganondorf. It's in the shoe shop."
"Where's that?"
"You're standing in it."
"Where in the shoe shop?"
"In the non-metal non-sporting goods section," replied the guy, dozing off again.
"Where?"
"Right here," said the guy.
"What aisle?"
"The educational shoes aisle."
"Where?"
"You're standing right in the middle of it."
"And where's the racquet?"
"You're standing on it."
"Right!" said Young Link, grabbing the racquet and running off with it.
The helper pulled off the mask, revealing himself to be – Marth! "Ha!" he said. "Now those two will neve… did I just tell him where it is?"

Falcon and DK
Ragnier™
Currently in 7th place
Falcon, Donkey Kong, Pichu and Pikachu ran to the information counter in the middle of the shoe store only to find Marth and Roy hitting themselves in the head with golden tennis racquets.
"Can we have these?" asked Captain Falcon.
"Sure," said Marth. Roy handed one to DK and one to Pichu. "Good luck!"
The four contestants ran off.
Marth and Roy looked at each other.
They both started crying.

Fox and Falco
Foxandfalco™
No, not really.
Currently in 9th place
"Let's blow this joint," said Falco as he finally managed to pull Fox free from the gum.
"I'd better use this conveniently placed golden tennis racquet to knock out these incoming gunners!" said Fox.
He did.
"Now," said Falco. "Let's find that racquet, quick!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Cokepsi™
"Come on," came Zelda's voice from just around the corridor. "How hard can this be?"
Kirby and Yoshi raced into the Waddle-Dee-In-A-Box Manual Labour Room.
"You know the plan!" said Kirby.
"Yosh oshi Yoshi!" said Yoshi. He ran over to a conveyor belt and placed five open boxes on the ground, then herded a few Waddle Dees over.
The Waddle Dees looked at the expression on Kirby's face and ran to the boxes.
Kirby inhaled them.
"Yosh Yoshi Yoshi!" "No, no, no! You're supposed to let them get into the boxes!"
"Ooooh," said Kirby. "I see."
Kirby jumped into a crate full of Waddle Dees. A few flew out and ran into the boxes.
Kirby and Yoshi grabbed the boxes and ran to the inspector (a Waddle Dee) and gave it the boxes. They got the clue and ran out.

Link and Jigglypuff
E Coli™
Currently in 3rd place
They raced into the factory and started shoving Waddle Dees into boxes.
Each time Link tried, the Waddle Dee waved its arms and vanished in a puff of smoke.
Each time Jigglypuff tried, the Waddle Dee ran out of the box again.

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 2nd place
"I ORDER YOU TO GO INTO THE BOXES AND STAY THERE!" yelled Samus.
"May I have a turn?" asked Zelda.
"Anything for royalty," joked Samus.
"I, PRINCESS ZELDA, HEREBY COMMAND YOU TO DO WHAT SHE SAID!" yelled Zelda.
Samus whispered something to Zelda. "That just might work," said Zelda.
She tried again: "I CALL YOU TO GO FORTHWITH AND DO WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU TO! Please?"
The Waddle Dees sorted the boxes into even rows and jumped in.
"Wow!" said Zelda. "How did you know it would work?"
"I didn't tell you to be polite. I told you to use that Link whip you carry around with you."
"Then who told me?" wondered Zelda.
Its work done, the floating air particle sneaked away.

Fox and Falco ran into the gift shop of the factory, grabbed a handful of Waddle-Dee-in-a-Boxes, and ran to the work room where they presented it to the supervisor.
"We did it!" said Fox, ripping the clue open. "Go to Red Poppy Hotel."

"Red Poppy Hotel," said Master Hand, "is a hotel run by the red Poppy Brothers. They… er… yeah. Contestants will be given keys to two rooms. One room has a tough deadlock on it, and one does not. The one with the deadlock is the pitstop. Er… buy stuff.
"Is the camera off?"

Samus and Zelda
Baco Tell™
Currently in 1st Place
Samus and Zelda exited their taxi, ran into an elevator, and then waited.
DING! Samus and Zelda ran out, and ran out to the door, labelled, "A Smashy Amazing Race!"
Zelda read a long piece of instructions.
"How to operate the Waddle Lock™

Materials needed:
Hammer
Screwdriver
Key
Flamethrower
And a Waddle Dee

Instructions:
Get hammer
Hit Waddle Dee with hammer
Get Key
Grind Key into Waddle Dee's eye
Get screwdriver
Say loud words and threaten Waddle Dee with screwdriver
Get flamethrower
Ask Waddle Dee to open door
If Waddle Dee can't open door, ram door with Waddle Dee
That should work

© Waddle Lock 2004, 'The Waddle Dee friendly lock'"

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
Kirby and Yoshi ran out of the elevator and looked at the door.
Kirby asked "What do-"
"I'll be taking that!" said Falco menacingly. "You see, you and Yoshi and Jigglypuff and Link are the ones I push around. Me, and of course, Fox will go out with a million dollars. Of all of the people, we are the strongest and we window-"
"Jigglypuff, push… me… out… of the… window…"
Jigglypuff pushed Fox and Falco out of the window.
"What does this button do?" asked Kirby. Suddenly, all the contestants appeared in the same hallway and got hit by hammers and screwdrivers and flamethrowers and Waddle Dees. Yeah.

Kirby and Yoshi won a holiday to Dreamland and Yoshi's Island.

-(8-(8-(8-(8-(8-(8(8(8(8(8(8

Finish times:

18:02- Kirby and Yoshi
18:09- Samus and Zelda
18:14- Ness and Mewtwo
18:16- Jigglypuff and Link
18:19- Nana and Popo
18:23- Peach and Bowser
18:23- Young Link and Ganondorf (read tikitikirevenge's stuff)
18:25- Pichu and Pikachu
18:26- Falcon and DK
18:30- Fox and Falco- ELMINATED

That is all.