A Smashy Amazing Race

by Hoogiman

COMPLETE! With all teams neckandneck, quick fire from Falcon and Donkey Kong takes them to the lead. However, Peach and Bowser manage to creep to second place, and with a dead heat at the last clue, it will be closer than ever. Who will win?

5. Leg Five: Congo Jungle

"Last time on, A Smashy Amazing race: Teams went to Dream Land!
On the first tasks, teams had to combine together and row across Waddle Lake, and then complete a very hard road block! Kirby and Yoshi got the task done easily, and had an advantage. With some determination, Pichu and Pikachu finished the hard road block, however, they both did the task together," said Master Hand.
"Kirby and Yoshi chose a hard detour, which put them back and made the others closer, and before the pit stop, there was a melee, which made Link and Jigglypuff place first.
Pichu and Pikachu made it to the pit stop in seventh place, but had to face a half-hour penalty for finishing the road block together.
Peach and Bowser made it, and so did Captain Falcon and Donkey Kong narrowly, making Pichu and Pikachu eliminated.
Only eight teams remain, who will be eliminated next?"

Teams:
Peach and Bowser (Italian)
Nana and Popo (Chinese)
Link and Jigglypuff (Ranch)
Kirby and Yoshi (Fast Food)
Ganondorf and Young Link (Indian)
Ness and Mewtwo (Japanese)
Zelda and Samus (Arsenics among other things)
Falcon and DK (YOU'LL NEVER FIND US IN A RESTAURANT TOGETHER BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT TRUE)

LEG FIVE

"Link and Jigglypuff arrived at 3:20 PM, they will depart at 3:20 AM!" said Master Hand.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"You must now walk 400 Waddle Metres to K, CC and G airway, where you must take a charter plane to DDD Airport! You must then book tickets to Congo Jungle! Your next clue will be outside the airport." read Link.
"Jig Ig Jig Iggly Ig!" said Jigglypuff. "In the next 10 minutes, 5 teams will leave and in 40 minutes, all of the teams would've left, which means that the competition is really tight, and we've got to make the most of every second!"
"Quick, there's the other team!" shouted Link.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Quick, catch them, before they get out of our sight!" said Kirby, dragging Yoshi along while running.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"Run Jigglypuff!" shouted Link, picking her up and running.
"Jig, puh!" said Jigglypuff sarcastically. "Well, I can't run if you're picking me up, can I?"
"Where the h& are we?" asked Link, looking at a 3-way diversion in the path.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
Yoshi and Kirby sprinted up to a stationary Link, and then looked at Link and Jigglypuff.
"According to my map, we have to go to the middle one, but I can't see in this light!" said Kirby.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 3rd Place
"Come on! I see them!" said Ness, shining his long-distance flash light.
Ness and Mewtwo ran to Kirby and Yoshi, and then started to puff, and tried to squint at Kirby's map.
"We managed to beat Samus and Zelda again," said Mewtwo. "They are way too sneaky."
"I've got an idea," said Kirby.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
Samus grabbed the letter without looking at it, caught sight of the others and ran out to them. Samus being fast ran straight to Kirby and Yoshi, looking at the sign.
"Hi Samus! Why don't you go that way, to the airway? It's that way!" said Kirby, pointing to a badly spelt sign.
"SMUS ND ZLDA GO TIS WEY…" read Samus
"Okay," said Samus.
"Wait, aren't they trying to trick us?" asked Zelda.
"Yeah! You're trying to trick us!" said Samus.
"Okay, be that way," said Ness, walking towards the left path.
"No!" said Samus, rushing towards the left path.
Kirby and Yoshi, Ness and Mewtwo and Link and Jigglypuff looked at Samus and Zelda, and then turned back towards the correct path.

Nana and Popo
Chinese
Currently in 5th Place
"You must now walk 400 Waddle Metres to K, CC and G airway, where you must take a charter plane to DDD Airport! You must then book tickets to Congo Jungle! Your next clue will be outside the airport." read Popo.
"Just as well I have my handy-dandy… map!" said Popo.
"Well I can't find Blue! Can you find Blue?" asked Nana, looking at the camera pointing her finger.

Young Link and Ganondorf
Currently in 6th Place
"I've got an idea!" said Young Link.
"What?" asked Ganondorf.
"Let's trick the two teams behind us by setting up a fake sign!" said Young Link.
"Yes, finally, your five years of training has paid off!" said Ganondorf.
Ganondorf set up a fake sign that pointed to the path that was going right.
"Now let's go to the real path!" said Ganondorf running to the left path.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 7th Place
"Look, a diversion that's so hard to decide that we can't look at our map!" shouted Peach.
"That sign says SMUS ND ZLDA TIS WEY," said Bowser. "But the sign pointing to the right says 'Please go this way'. And to make things even more confusing, our map says 'Ignore the fake signs and take the middle path, idiots'. Hey! It's calling us idiots! Well, I'm not listening to you any more!" He threw the map away.
"Let's go to the left path!" said Peach.
"No, let's go to the right path!" said Bowser.
"Can you decide?" asked Bowser, pointing his finger right in front of the camera.
Peach dragged Bowser away, still pointing his finger at the camera.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Let's-a go!" said Falcon.
"Mamma Mia!" said DK. "It's-a diversion!"
"Let's-a-go!" said Falcon. "…to the left path!"
"Why are we talking like this?" asked DK.
"STFU N00B!" said Sonic, in a cameo.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Go!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "The flight desk opens at 6:00 AM!"
"Its 4:10 AM right now, do you think they'll notice they're in the wrong place in 2 hours?" asked Kirby.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 7th Place
"Hey Samus, do you think we're going the right way?" asked Peach.
"Yeah, haven't we been here yesterday?" asked Falcon.
"OH NOES!11111 WEEEVE BEEEN TRIKKEED!" said Samus.
"Come on, let's go!" shouted Zelda, leading the others back to the diversion.

5:58 AM

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
"Look, there they are!" said Zelda.
"And it's opening in two minutes!" said Samus.
"We're the only ones awake, so let's try to find some food!" said Zelda, looking around.
Samus took Nana's bag and took out a chicken roll, then accidentally stepped on Popo.
"AAH!" said Popo. "Hey, that's Nana's roll!"
Popo shook Nana and woke her up.
"WHAT? You took my roll! Thieves!" shouted Nana.
"Well, we're hungry and plus, somebody led us off the track!" said Zelda.
"It was Ness!" shouted Kirby.
"No way," said Ness. "It was Link!"
"No! Mewtwo!" shouted Link.
"What, it was Kirby's idea!" shouted Mewtwo.
"It was Yoshi!" said Link.
"It was Kirby!"
"Link!"
"Mewtwo!"
"Ness!"
"Kirby!"
"Ness!"
"Mewtwo!"
"Yoshi!"
"Ness!"
"Kirby!"
"Yoshi!"
"Kirby!"
"Mewtwo!"
"Link!"
"Jigglypuff!" said Jigglypuff.
"Well, it was good that somebody led you off the track!" growled Nana.

Pitch, a worker for the airway opened up the front door and waited for flight bookings.
"Well, I'll be going in!" said Samus.
"Oh, no you're not b&ch!" shouted Nana, throwing a conveniently placed brick at Samus, who ducked.
"You wanna have a go at me?" asked Samus, walking up to Nana.
"I'll run in, Young Link!" shouted Ganondorf.
"Nobody's getting past us!" screamed Zelda, taking an iron bar out of the plumbing hitting Young Link and Ganondorf.
"Guess what, you're more evil than me!" said Ganondorf.
"Yeah!" said Popo.
"Hey! I'm the only one that can bag Samus and Zelda, not you!" shouted Ganondorf, throwing a piano at Popo.
"And me too!" said Young Link.
"No, not you!" said Ganondorf.
Ganondorf, Young Link, Samus, Zelda, Nana and Popo charged towards each other using weapons of choice to hit each other.
"Break it up!" said Mewtwo, trying to separate Young Link and Popo from each other.
"You wanna fight me?" asked Popo, violently placing his hands on his chest.
"Yeah!" said Ness, throwing bricks at Samus, while using his telepathic powers to set a bomb.
"Oi! Don't hurt my girl!" said Falcon.
"I'm not your girl!" shouted Samus, hitting Falcon with 10 tonnes of metal.
Kirby and Yoshi, Peach and Bowser and Link and Jigglypuff crossed arms and skipped in into the flights desk.
"Hello, I'd like 2 tickets on the first charter flight!" said Kirby, cheerfully. "Thanks Pitch!"
"It leaves at 7:15 am!" said Pitch.
"Hello, I'd like to book 2 tickets for the first flight!" said Link. "Thanks!"
"Hi, we're dating and you're a small bird!" said Peach.
Peach smiled at Pitch and then looked at Bowser puzzled.
"Isn't that bird supposed to say something?" whispered Peach.
"You've got to ask him for tickets!" said Bowser.
"Hello, I'm an ungenetical form of cabbage and I'd like to shave your obsolete eyeballs!" said Peach, cheerfully.
"Was that right?" whispered Peach.
"No! You have to ask her for tickets!" said Bowser, angrily.
"With all of your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" said Peach.
Bowser smacked his head.
"Hi, we'd like two tickets on the first charter flight!" said Bowser.
Bowser took the tickets.
"Hi, I'd like to stick your red hot beak into my warm inviting v-"
"Let's go," said Bowser, dragging her away.
"Vacuum cleaner?" asked Peach.

"Well, I'm going in!" said Nana.
"No you're not!" said Samus, blasting her away with a phaser gun!
"Hey, my love! Don't hurt people!" said Falcon.
"I'm not your love!" said Samus, hurting Falcon.
Kirby ran in into the desk and ate the small green bird, and then ran out.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
"Jigglypuff!" said Jigglypuff. "You wouldn't mind if I held the tickets."
"I don't!" said Link.
Young Link walked up to Jigglypuff.
"Can you give me your tickets? You'll be cool!" said Young Link.
"Jig? Ig? Iggly?" asked Jigglypuff. "Can I be a victim of peer pressure? Please? Please?"
"Well Jigglypuff," said Link, "When people are subject to peer…"
Jigglypuff kidnapped Link.
"WHAT THE HECK? I'M ON YOUR SIDE!" screamed Link.
"No, you're wrong," said a man, stepping out from the shadows.
"Dr. Not-Good?" gasped Link.
"Finally you recognise my evil influence," said Dr. Not-Good.
"Well, how did you get tickets?" asked Young Link.
Peach and Bowser, Kirby and Yoshi and Link and Jigglypuff stepped together in a line.

(introduction melody)

All: We have manners,
We have manners,
Peach: We always,
Say Please,
All: We have manners,
We have manners,
Link: (fast) We would say thank you,
If someone would sneeze,
Bowser: We never would gamble,
Jigglypuff: And we hate,
Avril Lavigne…
Kirby: Cos' we have manners,
Yoshi: You and me!

1st Charter Plane
7:15 AM
"Me and Yoshi, Jigglypuff and Link, and Peach and Bowser are on the first charter flight, and my friend Gooey, booked the three teams to the earliest flight on Dream Air!" said Kirby.
"Jig! Ig Jig Iggly!" said Jigglypuff. "We're not the three most aggressive teams, so we've decided we'll work together for the next few legs, and give us a head start when it counts!"

2nd Charter Plane
7:30 AM
"Great, we're stuck on a plane with our biggest enemies, Nana and Popo," said Samus.
"Once we get off this plane, we're going to run like heck!" said Zelda.
"There are fourteen legs in this race, and we're kind of already starting to get the feel of it, so we've gotta run!" said Samus.

3rd Charter Plane
7:45 AM
"Ow!" said Donkey Kong. "Falcon and I, Young Link and Ganondorf and Ness and Mewtwo are on the third and last charter plane. We're only 15 minutes away from the flight before us, but that could be the factor between winning and losing."

Kirby and Yoshi
Arrived on 1st Charter Plane
"Get off!" said Kirby.
Kirby and Yoshi ran out of the plane, to get to the airport.

On a floor above
"Look at them go! I hate Kirby and Yoshi," said Marth.
"Yes, I hate Kirby and Yoshi too. I'll use this grenade now!" replied Roy, menacingly.
Roy pulled the pin out of a grenade and tried to throw it at Kirby and Yoshi.
"Hey! Who put this window here?" asked Roy.
"Uh-oh, that means the grenade bounced back from the window to back here, and if the pin is out…" said Marth.
"Then there's about to be…"

"…an explosion caused by a grenade in the airport, which means all flights are grounded, and everyone must evacuate the terminal," said a voice over the loudspeaker. "All incoming flights will still land, but there will be no departures until the area is checked."
Kirby and Yoshi looked at the loudspeaker, and then heard a new message.
"We have just heard that only two people have been injured and they are from fire emblem. Nobody cares about fire emblem, so flights will carry on!" said the loudspeaker.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
"Where's gate 8?" asked Peach.
"I don't know! All the gates are in some weird language!" replied Bowser.
"Oh, I know what it is! It's what the pre-schoolers use to count!" said Peach, a bit puzzled. "It's called numbers!"
"How will we get help?" asked Peach.
Peach took off her top and asked for help.
"I think I'll stay like this!" said Peach.
"AAAAGH! IT BURNS! THE HORROR! AARGH!" screamed Bowser.
"I think I'll stay like this!" said Peach.
People covered their eyes in horror and disgust.
"I think I'll stay like this!" said Peach.
The alarms went off.
"I think I'll stay like this!" said Peach.
Things started to melt.
"I think I'll stay like this?" said Peach.

Link and Jigglypuff
On 1st Dream Air Flight
"Well, the same three teams as the charter flight are now on this Dream Air flight. We booked before hand, so we got to leave straight away, so we've got about an hour's advantage or so!" said Link.

2nd Charter Flight

Nana and Popo
Currently in 4th Place
"Let's go!" said Nana.
Nana and Popo ran out of the charter plane with their bags and then ran up to the Dream Air desk.
"Hello," said Nana to an employee at the desk.
"Hello, Nana…" said the employee in an evilly charming tone.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
Samus and Zelda trailed a few seconds behind Nana and Popo, and then saw Nana walk up to a desk.
"Don't do it, Nana! It's a trap!" screamed Zelda.
Nana turned around and said, "How should I trust you if you're trying to steal our food?"
"Well, uh…" said Samus.
A Koopa bumped into Samus with a trolley. Samus turned around, and the Koopa apologised. Samus turned around, but the employee, Nana and Popo were gone.
Will Nana and Popo use their evolving super powers and evolve to new levels, and play new exciting cards? Will Popo manage to get that testosterone boost that will make him a better card player? Will Popo give up and leave the evil Dun-shu evil force to win? Will Popo win the battle against Dun-shu and then evolve his cards into next rank? Because he's going to, but pretend to look surprised next episode.
"Right…" said Zelda.
Samus and Zelda walked up to the counter.

3rd Charter Flight

Ganondorf and Young Link
Currently in 6th Place
"Here, on the flight I made these fresh cookies!" said Ganondorf. "They're laced with hallucination pills, so it will stop other teams, and make them fantasise about romance or other things. So that means that… Young Link…"
"Peach?" asked Young Link.
"I… will… make… romance… so that means that Young Link…" said Peach.
"Oh just come here, Peach!" said Young Link.
Young Link grabbed Ganondorf, and then did the tango, and then walked away with a big grin, shaking his fists.
"You know Peach, you've drugged me way too much… Peach…" said Young Link.
Young Link and Peach
Happy in romance
"Aah!" sighed Young Link.
Young Link put two mangoes on Ganondorf's chest, and then smothered his face in them.
"Uh… it's not what you think!" said Ganondorf, pushing Young Link away.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 7th Place
"Hi, we'd like two tickets to Congo Jungle!" said Ness.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Hi, we'd like two tickets to Congo Jungle!" said Falcon and DK at the same time.
"Hey, isn't it funny that we're talking at the same time, the same thing?" asked Falcon and DK at the same time, who then stared at each other.
"He wouldn't say this," said Falcon and DK simultaneously.
"Okay, this is freaking me out…" they said.
"Er… Hooga booga!"
People stared at them.
"I WEAR WOMEN'S CLOTHING AND PANTIES AT NIGHT AND I WEAR THONGS AND HIGH-HEELS AND I STEAL PEACH'S CLOTHING WHEN SHE'S NOT LOOKING AND SOMETIMES I LIKE TO LOOK AT LINK!" said Falcon and DK at the same time.
"AAH!" said Falcon and DK, running off in separate directions.

"Link and Jigglypuff, Kirby and Yoshi and Peach and Bowser are on an 8:00 AM Dream Air flight, which will arrive at 1:20 PM, Congo Jungle time.
Samus and Zelda and Ness and Mewtwo are on an 8:50 DeDeDe Air flight, via De Island De Bowser that arrives at 2:30 PM Congo Jungle time.
The others are on a 9:40 Koopa Air flight, via Koopa Beach which arrives at 3:40 PM Congo Jungle time.
Teams will find their next clue somewhere outside the airport terminal," said Master Hand.

1:20 PM
1st Flight to Arrive

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 1st Place
"So we're clear on this? We're all working together to find the clue box!" said Peach.
Peach led the three teams around the small terminal, and then saw a clue up in a tree!
"Oh look, it's a high tree!" said Peach. "Well, I'll get everyone clues, since I won the 800m Men's track event in the 1956 Olympics!"
"No you didn't," replied Bowser. "First of all, you weren't born then, second of all, you're not a man, and last, winning a running event has nothing to do with climbing up a tree!"
Peach fell down and broke into tears.
"Don't cry, Peach! You're just not a male person! You are female! See? You've written it on your hand, so you walk into the right bathroom!" said Bowser.
"Okay," sobbed Peach, "It's so nice of you to say such nice things to a -" she glanced at her hand – "girl like me."
"Look, Jigglypuff is climbing up the tree!" said Bowser.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
"That's it, Jigglypuff!" cheered on Link. "You climb that tree!"
Jigglypuff threw the box on the tree off, and concussed Yoshi.
"Hooray for Jigglypuff!" cheered everyone.
"Yay, I did it!" said Peach.
Bowser smacked his head.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
Yoshi took a clue out of the fallen box, and read it.
"Yoshi Yoshi Hur Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "You must now drive 50 kilometres in a marked car to Donkey Kong's house, where at the front gate; you will find your next clue."

"Teams must now drive in a marked car to Donkey Kong's house, where at the front gate; they will find their next clue. With their clue, they will receive a front door key, and will be instructed to open the front door, and close it behind them and do their next task," said Master Hand.

"Yoshi?" asked Yoshi. "Can you drive a car?"
"Why do that when I can become -" he inhaled some tyres – "WHEEL KIRBY!"
Yoshi and Kirby zoomed off, destroying several small houses as they left.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
"Jig!" asked Jigglypuff. "Let's go! Kirby and Yoshi have already left!"
"Um… Jigglypuff, you'll have to drive, because I can't drive a shift stick!" said Link.
"Jig!" replied Jigglypuff. "Sure thing I will!"
Jigglypuff put the gear on neutral, and backed out into Falcon and DK's marked car.
"Jig jig jiggy!" replied Jigglypuff. "Whoops!"
Jigglypuff reversed the car into Falcon's car again.
"Jig!" replied Jigglypuff. "Whoops!"
Jigglypuff panicked and drove away trying to look innocent.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 3rd Place
"Well, I'll drive the car, I won NASCAR in 1284!" said Peach.
Bowser smacked his head.

2:30
2nd Flight to Arrive

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Go, Ness!" said Mewtwo.
Ness and Mewtwo ran into the car, Mewtwo taking the steering wheel. Mewtwo turned the ignition on and then changed the gear.
"I hope that's the right gear," said Mewtwo.
Mewtwo rammed his car into the back of Falcon and DK's car, panicked, rammed into Falcon and DK's marked car again and then drove out.
"Hey," said Ness. "Look at how my telekinetic powers can flip this car upside down!"
"I wonder whose car that is?" said Mewtwo.
"No idea," said Ness.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 5th place
"We're supposed to drive that?" said Zelda in disgust. "That puny little wagon?"
Samus shrugged. "An armoured 16-wheeler isn't that little, but I know what you mean. Hey, look! A tank!"

Ness and Mewtwo
"So," said Mewtwo.

Samus and Zelda
Zelda rammed the military tank out of its container and onto the road.
"Watch it," said Samus. "You just ran over that marked car."
"I wonder who it was for?" said Zelda.
"Who cares?" said Samus. "Let's see if the guns on this tank can push it onto the road!"
A car exploded behind them.
"Ouch," said Zelda. "At least that was our marked car."
Their designated car flipped through the air and landed onto Falcon and DK's car, setting it on fire.

Kirby and Yoshi
"Yoshi yoshi yoshi Yoshi?" "Kirby, what did you do with that acid you bought at the airport?"
"It's okay," said Kirby, taking a shortcut through a couple of civilians. "I threw it away like you asked me to. No idea whose car engine it landed in. My aim is a bit rusty."

3:40
Final Flight

Nana and Popo
Currently in 6th Place
"Let's go!" said Nana.
Popo ran out of the airport with Nana, grabbed the clue, read it and ran into the car.

Mario and Luigi…
"Let's-a use the missiles now-a!" said Luigi.
Mario used his high-tech doo-wacky sounding missile, and aimed at Nana and Popo. Luigi pressed his finger on the button when…
"MAMA MIA! A KOOPA SHELL!" shouted Mario.
Luigi shook the launcher and accidentally pressed the button, blasting a missile into Falcon and DK's marked car.

Ganondorf and Y Link
Currently in 7th Place
"Are we going to use these cookies?" asked Young Link, taking a clue from the letterbox.
"Yep, when it's most needed," said Ganondorf.
"Hey look at Falcon and DK's car," said Young Link, standing outside their marked car. "I feel sorry for Falcon and Donkey Kong, I'm going to pour gasoline over it, because it helps the car heal. And while I'm at it, I'll have a smoke!"

(AD BREAK TIME)

"Hello, I am from the gasoline accidents council in Florida. Our aim is to stop gasoline accidents, because gasoline is not safe. Try using the American alternative, Kerosene, because we said so!" said a spokesperson. "So remember: Gasoline equals Canadian way, Kerosene is the American way!"

END OF CONVENIENTLY PLACED AD BREAK

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Look!" said Donkey Kong. "There's only one car left!"
"And that car is a pile of debris," said Falcon.
"Will we finally be eliminated?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Actually, since you have very strong leg muscles and you know where we are going, why can't you carry me?" asked Falcon.
"Won't that look a bit…" said Donkey Kong.
"Fun?" asked Falcon.
Donkey Kong picked Falcon up.
They had lots of fun.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Come on! Here's the clue box!" said Kirby, taking a clue.
"Yoshi hur hup Yoshi up hup Yoshi!" read Yoshi. "You must now use this key, to open the door, and shut it behind you, without letting anyone in. You must then search the house for Donkey Kong's bedroom, and find the next clue! If you are behind someone, you must wait until both doors are locked before you can go in!"
"Let's go!" said Kirby, opening the front door.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
"DON'T GO KIRBY!" screamed Peach. "I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE CLUE BOX IS! I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE CLUE BOX IS!" screamed Peach.
"Peach, you're bashing your head on the letterbox!" replied Bowser.
"Stop bashing your head up against the letterbox! It makes you look like a fool!" scolded Peach.
"I'm not-"
"Ha! You said 'not'! And I'm blonde!" Peach started chasing the back of her hips.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place
Link and Jigglypuff slowly walked around Bowser, who was bashing Peach's skull down onto the ground, opened the front door and went in.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
Kirby and Yoshi ran up two flights of stairs, and then found the only room on that single storey.
"Look! It's a clue box!" said Kirby.
Kirby opened an envelope from the box and read it.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Road Block!"

"Road Block, a task that only one member of the team can complete!" said Master Hand.
"In this Road Block, teams must walk down back to the ground floor, and find Donkey Kong's garden.
One member of each team must be blindfolded, and then smash a barrel with a mallet. If they find a clue, they can continue on, but if they don't, then teams must go to the back of line, if any.
Out of 40 barrels, 16 have clues in them."

Kirby and Yoshi read the clue and then ran down the stairs.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 3rd Place
"Quickly, there's the clue box!" said Peach.
Bowser and Peach ran to the letterbox and grabbed a clue, and then Bowser looked at posters of himself on the wall.
"Oh cool, he must be my friend!" said Bowser, who then looked at dozens of other posters of male characters of Nintendo. "Uh… yeah, let's get out of here!"
"Ooh! Girls! Icky!" said Peach.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
Jigglypuff and Link looked around upstairs, when suddenly a blue bird with a knife jumped out of a closet.
"Well if it isn't Mrs. Push Falco out of a window?" asked Falco. "Well guess what? Jigglypuff, I am going to kill you, after all these years of frustration and hope for money, I think I'll stab you, so me and Fox will feel much better. Yes, I will stab you, and I will stab you with this knife! Mwa ha ha haa!"
NOTE: Due to Jigglypuff's bad hearing, she only heard the following words:
"Jigglypuff… stab… whitenoise… me… with this knife!"
Jigglypuff took Falco's knife and stabbed him as he requested.

(AD BREAK TIME)

"Hello, I am from the knife accidents council in Texas. Our aim is to stop knife accidents, because knives are not safe. Try using the American alternative, guns, because guns are more powerful, and we have a bigger variety!" said a spokesperson. "So remember: The Knife is the Canadian way, Guns are America!"

END OF SUBLIMINAL AD BREAK

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Here you go," said Diddy Kong, tying a blindfold around Yoshi's eyes.
"Yoshi?" asked Yoshi. "So I just have to try to smash a barrel with a clue in it?"
"Yep," said Diddy Kong.
Bowser and Peach walked in and watched Yoshi.
Yoshi lifted the heavy mallet up, picked it up with two hands and managed to break open a mallet with it.
"Nope, it seems there's… TOAD in there?" asked Diddy Kong.
"Heh, heh, well, that didn't have to do anything with me trying to starve him to death, drop him in a barrel and then mail it to Donkey Kong's house! Under bulk!" said Bowser, scratching his throat nervously.

Bowser
Tries: 1
Diddy Kong took the blindfold off Yoshi, and then put it on Bowser. Bowser lifted up the mallet with ease, and then started blindly bashing on one barrel.
"Nope, sorry!" said Diddy Kong.
"DAARGH!" said Bowser.

Link
Tries: 1
Link lifted up the mallet, and threw it a few metres in front of him. It hit a barrel; Link took the blindfold off, and then found a clue in the broken barrel.
"Jig!" said Jigglypuff. "Detour!"

"Detour! In Detours, teams can choose between two tasks!" said Master Hand.
"In this tour, teams must choose between two tasks, Hide and Seek.
In 'Hide', teams must find their way to Cranky Kong's hut, and survive ten minutes in there. However, the hard part is, on your arrival, Cranky Kong will be told that you're trying to steal his bananas, and you must try and hide from him for ten minutes. If he finds you, you'll probably spend a lot more than ten minutes indoors. This task is relatively easy, but you must be small, sneaky and cunning to survive ten minutes.
In 'Seek': Teams must walk a few metres to DK's hut, and then find his magical coconut oil, which is placed on the 4th Floor, in the games room. They must then deliver it to Diddy Kong at the Road Block. This task could be easy, but, as we've ACCIDENTALLY neglected to tell them, his hut is humongous and 29 times the size of his house, so it could be time consuming."

"I think we'll do Seek," said Link.
"Jig, Ig Jig!" said Jigglypuff drunkenly. "Sure honey, and I'll stop drinking!"

Peach and Bowser
2nd to complete Road Block
"You go girl!" chanted Peach.
"Yeah, I'm a go girl!" said Bowser in a high-pitched voice.
"What road block should we do?" asked Peach.
"Seek!" said Bowser.

Kirby and Yoshi
3rd to complete Road Block
"What should we do?" asked Kirby.
"Hur Hup Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "We'll do Hide. We're small."
"I think we should do Hide because of the banana- I mean, because it's easier. Food… I mean, easier. That's why I teamed up with you. Because we make a good team; not because dinosaur meat goes well with pickled carrot juice."

Samus and Zelda
4th to complete road block
"Yeah!" said Samus. "Which one should we do?"
"I think we should go to DK's hut, so I can read his diary and see if he likes me, and if he does, we can marry and we can have children…" said Zelda in a voice that actually sounded female.
"Ew!" said Samus. "Genetically deformed children?"

Ganondorf and Young Link
5th to complete roast block
"Mmm… that block tasted great!" said Young Link.
"Quick, let's follow Samus and Zelda, so we can get in front of them!"

Kirby and Yoshi
"I'm starting soon!" screamed Cranky Kong.
"Hup Yoshi?" asked Yoshi. "Where should we hide?"
"Well, we can't hide in the kitchen, Cranky Kong will definitely find us there!" said Kirby. "I've got an idea!"

Ganondorf and Young Link
"Hey, Samus and Zelda, Peach and Bowser, have some cookies!" announced Ganondorf.
Peach took a cookie, ate it and then said, "Are you going to eat that? Because I'm a funny watermelon and I like to tango when it's puppy time!"
"Sure, whatever," said Zelda.

Samus and Zelda
"Donkey Kong?" asked Zelda. "Donkey Kong!"
DK said, "Dear Diary, I like Zelda. I also grip these pencils too hard. I haven't worked out how to use a sharpener, so I guess I'll have to keep on buying new pencils. I also like watermelons. I found out that you can't sharpen watermelons and…"
"Oh Donkey Kong!" said Zelda, puckering her lips and leaning forward.

Peach and Bowser
"Is that a pony? Because I'm a pony!" said Peach. "I also like looking at belly buttons. Are you a tree? I like looking at water, but bee bites make my eye sting! Look! I can make my lips do this!"

Samus and Zelda
"Eww!" screamed Samus in disgust. "It's gotta be the cookies. You didn't do that!"

Ganondorf and Young Link
"Quickly!" said Young Link, running up a flight of stairs, going to the 4th floor.
"Is it in this door?" asked Young Link.
"Yes!" said Ganondorf, grabbing one jar full of coconut oil.

Kirby and Yoshi
Time left: 4:44
Cranky Kong walked past the laundry noticing the crew filming a washing machine.
"What are you doing?" asked Cranky Kong.
"Oh, we're just filming a washing machine, its part of the landscape."
"Oh, carry on then!" said Cranky Kong.

Nana and Popo
6th to complete Road Block
"Quickly, which one should we do?" asked Nana.
"Seek!" said Popo.

Ness and Mewtwo
"Wow, this is really bad, from third to last, we could be eliminated this round," said Mewtwo, looking at Ness read the clue.
Ness and Mewtwo
7th to complete Road Block
"Yeah!" said Mewtwo, as Ness pulled out a clue.
"Which one should we do, search DK's house or hide?" asked Ness.
"Search his house!" said Ness.

Falcon and DK
Last to complete Road Block
"Come on, you should know your house well!" said Falcon, running towards DK's house.
Falcon and DK ran in.

Ganondorf and Y Link
Currently in 1st Place
"Here's your clue!" said Diddy Kong, taking the coconut oil.
"The cookies obviously worked. I made Peach and Zelda my background! Oh… is the camera on? Edit it out!" screamed Ganondorf.

"Teams must now walk by foot to DK Jr's Hotel, which will be the pit stop for the fifth leg of the race," said Master Hand. "The last team to arrive may be eliminated."

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
Cranky Kong found Kirby and Yoshi after the time was up and handed them their clue.
"There you go," said Cranky Kong, who then saw Kirby's mouth surrounded with white stuff. "Have you been eating my laundry powder?"
"No, COUGH, No COUGH! Yes? COUGH, COUGH!" replied Kirby, nervously.

Peach and Bowser
"Peach, why do you have to keep on jumping to random rooms, on different floors? Surely there must be some systematic way of working this out!" said Bowser.
"Well, guess what, I have a friend called Bowser who lives here, and every day he swings on a vine… and turns into a big fish!" said Peach, smiling.
"Great Peach, Great!" said Bowser.

Link and Jigglypuff
"Here's the coconut oil!" said Link.
Jigglypuff grabbed the bottle, sat on it, and then reached around for a switch.
"Jigglypuff, that's not a broom or a vehicle of any type!" said Link.
"Jig!" said Jigglypuff. "Shh… we're trying to sleep here."

Ganondorf and Young Link
Currently in 1st Place
"Here's the hotel, look, you can see the world map!" said Young Link.
Young Link and Ganondorf stepped up to the world map.
"I am sorry, Ganondorf and Young Link, but I cannot check you in at this present moment, as you have broken one of the rules!" said Master Hand. "You have forced three people to fall behind because of your cookies. This means you cannot check in for another half an hour."
Time Left: 30:00

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
Kirby and Yoshi ran around a corner, near the hotel, and then Kirby spotted Ganondorf and Young Link waiting for half an hour.
"Hey Ganondorf, have you been sat out because of your cookies?" laughed Kirby.
"Yoshi, hur Yoshi hup heer Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Because if that happened, that would be hysterical! I would laugh in your face, pour this Dountain Mew over you, and then laugh at you again because you finally came into first place!"
Ganondorf cracked his knuckles, took out his 'angry stick', and then looked at Yoshi meanly.
"Yoshi…" said Yoshi. "Er whoops, sorry…"
Kirby and Yoshi stepped on the world map, and then looked at Master Hand.
"Kirby and Yoshi, you are team number one!" said Master Hand.
"Yay!" said Kirby, still coughing up a bit of laundry powder.
"And for that, you get a free holiday, to FourSide, complimentary of DeDeDe Airlines!"
Time Left: 29:12

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place
Link carried Jigglypuff in his hands and stepped on the world map.
"Link and Jigglypuff, you are team number two!" said Master Hand.
Time Left: 28:37

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
"Here's your clue!" said Diddy Kong.
Samus and Zelda walked out of DK's house/tree house, and then ran a few metres across to the finish line.
"Samus and Zelda, you are team number three!" said Master Hand.
Time left: 26:03

Ness and Mewtwo
Japanese
"Hey look, it's the coconut oil!" said Ness.
Ness picked it up with the tips of his fingers.
"That's not the right way to hold it, is it?" said Mewtwo.
"You're right! You see to avoid accidents and spills in the kitchen, you must hold it in the palm of your…"
Four minutes later, after a long lecture
"Here's your clue!" said Diddy Kong.
Ness opened the envelope, ran around a few corners and then ran up to the world map.
"Ness and Mewtwo, you are team number four!" said Master Hand.
Time Left: 19:33

Nana and Popo
Currently in 6th Place
Nana and Popo ran to the world map.
"Nana and Popo, you are team number five!" said Master Hand.
Time Left: 15:53

Peach and Bowser
"Peach, we've spent an hour on this activity, and we keep on going into the same rooms! We've been to the bathroom five times!" said Bowser.
"That's because they keep on talking to me!" said Peach. "I think the blue tap is a bit cranky, but I think the red one has a crush on me! The mirror has a hamster called Hamtaro, and he's the star of a movie! Mushrooms!" replied Peach.
Time Left: 13:03

Falcon and DK
YOU'LL NEVER FIND US IN A RESTAURANT TOGETHER BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT TRUE!
"Why don't you know where the oil is? This is your house!" said Falcon, harshly.
"Well, I spend out too much time trying to find out how to sharpen the pencils, that's why!" said Donkey Kong.
"Well, this is how you do it… wait: that's hard!" said Falcon.
Time Left: 10:02

Peach and Bowser
"Okay, there's only one room left," said Peach. "This must be it!"
"Actually, this is the only room we've checked besides the toilet!" said Bowser, sick. "Why are you so stupid?"
Peach giggled for about 50 seconds and then fainted.
Time Left: 8:37

Falcon and DK
"Okay, we've checked every floor except the fourth floor!" said DK.
"Why couldn't we have done it in order, instead of jumping from the 1st floor, the 8th, the 3rd, the 5th, the 7th, the 6th, the second and then this one?" asked Falcon.
"Because twelve is considered an unlucky number in Canadian language?" asked DK.
Time Left: 5:00

Peach and Bowser
"Now this is the last door," said Peach. "Open sesame!"
Peach stared around for a while, and then looked at Bowser.
"Maybe you could use the knob?" asked Bowser.
Peach put a paper bag over her head, and then fainted.
Time Left: 2:23

Falcon and DK
"There are only four doors left!" said DK.
"Uh oh, my hairdo is ruined!" said Falcon, flopping one hand down.
"Oh, don't worry, I'll fix your hairdo!" said DK, with a slight lisp.

Ganondorf and Young Link
Currently in 6th Place
"You can check in now!" said Master Hand. "Ganondorf and Young Link, you are team number six!"

Falcon and DK
"Hey Falcon and DK!" said Bowser.
Peach and Bowser ran into the gamers room, took out the coconut oil, and ran out.
"Hey wait, the coconut oil is in that room!" said Falcon.
Falcon and DK in a hurry ran in, took the coconut oil, and then ran out.

Peach and Bowser
Peach pressed the elevator button and waited for the shaft.

Falcon and DK
"Quick, DK! They're using the elevator instead of the stairs, let's use those!" cried Falcon.
Falcon and DK ran down the stairs.
"They'll probably be stuck there forever!" said Falcon, chuckling.

Peach and Bowser
"Lucky that we used the express elevator!" said Peach.
The shaft zoomed down in an instant, and Peach and Bowser ran out to Diddy Kong.
"Here you go!" said Diddy Kong, handing them clues.

Falcon and DK
"Diddy, stop those men!" screamed DK, running from his tree house to Diddy Kong.
"Well, actually there's one male and female!" said Diddy Kong.
"Shut up!" said Falcon.
Falcon and DK snatched the clue from Diddy Kong and trailed a few metres behind Peach and Bowser.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 7th Place
"Oh no! Falcon and DK are in our tail!" said Bowser.
"Good thing I keep oil in my purse!" said Peach, spilling oil behind her.
"Ha! You missed!" said Falcon.
"Wait, Handbag?" asked Falcon, puffed out.
Falcon took out his handbag, but it was too late. Peach and Bowser had already got there first.
"Peach and Bowser, you are team number seven!"

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"And look who's last?" said Master Hand snidely. "After all these times of coming 2nd Last by a slim margin, disappointing all of our viewers, it's come down to this! You're eliminated! Haha! Bye bye Falcon and Donkey Kong, losers! I hope that… oh… wait… it's a non-elimination leg… Well that means that you'll have to put on these electric shock collars! Anyone can trigger it up to 4 times per pair in the next leg, anyone, including you! That means you may get shocked up to 56 times!"
"But I thought there were only eight teams left!" said Donkey Kong.
"Oh, but there are 12 teams in the race, the eliminated people can shock you too!" said Master Hand.
"But what about the other eight?" asked Falcon.
"Oh, those eight enjoyable moments go to me!" said Master Hand.
"Does it hurt?"
"Well, let's have a test drive, eh?" asked Master Hand.
"Oh, f-"
- Note, due to swearing so explicit it does not fit this time slot, this show will not run for the next twenty seconds.

Finish Times:

Kirby and Yoshi- 5:47 PM
Link and Jigglypuff- 5:48 PM
Samus and Zelda- 5:50 PM
Ness and Mewtwo- 5:56 PM
Nana and Popo- 6:00 PM
Ganondorf and Y Link- 6:15 PM
Peach and Bowser- 6:20 PM
Falcon and DK- 6:21 PM