Author's Notes: Hey there! A bit late, I know... this last few weeks have been a disaster, it's like living from one test to another... -sigh- I wrote this with much inspiration, as you would wonder.Hope you'll understand what I was tyring to say... Well, I'm kinda tired right now so I don't know what else to say (LOL), sojust read the chapter. Hope you'll like it.
Enjoy!
Title: Love So Far Away - Chapter Three
Rating: K+
Author: Sabreen
Love So Far Away - Chapter Three
"What do you wanna watch?"Mamoru turned to Usagi, who was lying on the arm of the long sofa in Mamoru's living room, together with Mamoru who was lying on the other arm of the sofa. One blanket was enough to cover them, and they kept each other warm like that, so they decided that it was a very convenient position to watch TV at 9 o'clock p.m. Nothing good was on so he just kept flipping from channel to channel, constantly hoping that something good started in the time he had been flipping through other channels, before he finally gave up.
Usagi just shrugged, watching the TV screen with unseeing eyes, obviously thinking about something completely else. Deciding that it would be the best if they would just go to sleep, so he turned the TV off, threw back the blanket and got up.
"C'mon, go get ready for bed, you've got school tomorrow," he said, folding the blanket.
"Okay. I'm tired anyway," she said, stretching.
A few minutes later, Mamoru joined her in the bathroom, picking up his toothbrush, putting a bit of toothpaste on it and joined her in scrubbing and cleaning his teeth. She shook her head.
"I'll never understand why you put so little toothpaste on. It would never be enough for me!" she said through a mouthful of white foam in her mouth, mumbling it so ununderstandibly that he had barely picked it up. He just frowned at her and, speaking exactly like her began his protest.
"It's not my fault that you need to empty half of the tube to brush your teeth! We, regular mortals, need just a bit."
"Huh!" she said, acting offended. "It won't be my fault that you'll have a whole new set of artificial teeth on your twenty-fifth birthday because your real ones will rot before you're twenty-five!" Saying that, she spit out the rest of the toothpaste from her mouth, rinsed it with water, and started undoing her odangoes.
"They will not!" he said, suddenly forgetting his toothbrush and looking directly at her. She just stuck her nose high up and snorted.
"Ha, right! I won't tell you 'I told you so' when it happens, like most people would, but if it does happen, and there are huge chances for it to happen, then you can expect a huge 'I told you so' from me!" she said, playing offended again.
Mamoru, rinsing his mouth too, smiled.
"Oh, really? So I won't get a told you so, but I will get a told you so. How very interesting," he commented with that obnoxious, confident, making-fun-of grin showing its full strength on his lips. She faced him, a look of helpless anger on her face, struggling with the words, but coming up with nothing. Finally, she gave up and threw a towel at his face.
"Just shut up. Absolutely no point in talking to you!" she said, turned her back on him and scurried of, leaving him alone in the bathroom. He laughed, deep and clear, and went to follow her.
"So she is my Odango after all," he whispered to himself delightfully.
"Aww, come on, it's not my fault you keep giving me these chances to tease you! And, after all," he said, bending and putting an arm around her small shoulders, enjoying her glare and full lower lip pout thoroughly, just as he had when he teased her back in the arcade, "you're too cute when you're mad."
Leaving back to the bedroom, he winked at her winningly.
"Now come here, I have to brush your hair," he said from the bedroom soon enough. After recovering from the little shock and after the small blush that had tinted her cheeks, she scurried back to the bedroom, yelling at the top of her lungs, "Still, compliments won't get you forgiveness!" Only a happy laugh answered her.
Those 'fights' might seem very serious and purposely meant to hurt to somebody who didn't know them, but they knew better. It was all a joke, a big joke. It wasn't something really special, you know when you have asarcastic fight with your sibling or a friend, and when you make sarcastic comments that don't really mean anything, they are just there to tease. Their fights were no different, but just with more joy and smiles on both sides. She was never really offended, she scowled at him and pouted, but they both knew just how hard she was laughing inside. The same thing was with him, just that he couldn't hide it as well and he was constantly chuckling and smiling at his little actress.
She was at his apartment for more than three weeks now, a couple of days missing to make it a month. Mamoru used his hypnotizing powers to get her into a school without any papers and she went to school regularly, almost as if it had always been like that. Their relationship grew as they found out more and more about each other the more they peered into each other's souls, beginning with getting up in the mornings (which often resulted with a cranky Usagi on the floor) to the regular good-night ceremony of Mamoru brushing Usagi's hair while telling her a story.
She filled him up completely with every thing she'd do. He could finally say that he was happy. Truly happy.
But, what amazed him the most was the fact that she reminded him so much of his Odango Atama. Well, kinda logical, when she really IS his Odango. But all her pouts, happy faces, sad faces, angry faces, all that looked exactly the same like when she would do it in the arcade. It had reminded him so much of her slim figure in that school fuku of hers, her long, slender arms and divine golden hair... The image would flash through his head every time he'd look at the eight-year-old girl in front of him pouting, or doing something so typically Usagi. She never knew that, but he did.
Heh, he never even knew how much he enjoyed being around Odango Atama...
"MAMO-CHAN!" Usagi yelled, as her contionuous tryings to get him to take the bloody brush she'd been holding in the air for five minutes failed miserably. He shook his head and smiled to her, with a blurry look in his eyes. He was sitting on his bed staring at some unknown point on the opposite wall, and didn't even notice her come in as he was deep in his thoughts.
"Sorry, Usako," he said, taking the brush and sitting in the middle of the bed to make room for her to sit in front of him. She did, and soon she was lost in the gentle sensation. She had spent hours in the bathroom, trying to brush her hair in the same gentle, soft and calming way, but she always failed. After awhile she gave up and decided it was just one of his magic tricks no one in the whole world could do, like the one when he made a perfect, thornless red rose in full bloom out of thin air. Knowing that she couldn't do it herself, she enjoyed in it twice as much.
"What story would you like today, Usako?" he asked nonchalantly. She just shrugged.
"I somehow know you'll avoid continuing the story you started a week ago for which you know very well that is the most interesting story you've ever told again, so I don't know." Mamoru smiled guiltily to himself.
The story was about a youma attacking a girl named Usagi. Tuxedo Kamen, the famous guy who always saved Sailor Moon, rescued her, and he brought her to safety on a really high building, and together they watched the stars and the moon, and just as the plot was getting romantic, he broke it and said it was time for bed.
He didn't really want to finish it. He was afraid ofthe end... and what it could have meant...
"Okay, how about a scary one?"
"Okay!"
"It was cold outside, rain poured hard. A man entered a train and sat opposite to a woman who read a book and seemed engulfed in it as the train passed many stations and she still hadn't moved her gaze off the book. Finally, very curious, the man asked the woman, 'What are you reading?'. The woman raised her gaze to him and said, 'A ghost story.' The man seemed unimpressed by that. 'You don't say?' he said. 'Do you believe in ghosts?' he finally asked. She nodded and replied, 'Of course. You?' He shook his head, snorting and showing that he thought of such things as nonsense. 'Have you ever seen one?' she asked nonchalantly, and he shook his head. 'Of course not!' he said and eyed her. 'Really?' The mysterious woman smiled and vanished."
"Wow," Usagi said, deeply impressed.
By the time he finished the story, her hair was glowing with that special golden shine and seemed even more beautiful than usual. It would be like that every night, but it was always special, each time in its own way. He would sometimes become so hypnotized and enchanted by her hair that he stuttered while telling the story of the day, because her silky hair would become the center of his attention and he'd forget what he was talking about.
The interesting thing was that Usagi's hair often reminded him of his Odango's. He recalled a certain event that would repeat constantly: her running to school. You see, every morning she'd wake up late, and then she would run, and then she'd crash into him, then she'd continue to run, then she'd swoosh back to yell at him, and then she'd turn back and continue to run. But, he remembered her ponytails, the way that they'd float in the air when she ran, or how they cut the air briskly, but elegantly when she'd turn around to yell at him... Suddenly he hada strong urge to feel it... to brush through the whole length of one of her thick, beautiful locks...
And when his thoughts moved in the wrong direction, he shook his head and continue with the story as if it had never happened. The only problem was that his thoughts went more and more into fantasies of touching her hair, brushing it and feeling its gentle softness on his skin... He knew that the hair he was brushing was the same hair he was dying to touch, but... he simply couldn't make himself realize that. As much as he tried to convince himself that the divine gold he was taking care of was the same, he didn't realize one thing - he had been developing feelings for both girls, but separately. His feelings for the little girl who was under his protection and was momentarily all he cared about differed from the slowly growing into something much more deeper feelings for his Odango Atama, no matter that they were the same person.
The best thing was when he watched the little Usagi when she did those things that the teenage Usagi would: pouting,grinning childishly, playing those little games of hers... Usagi was often as childish (although it was never so weird as it would be on other girls because it just suited her) and he had teased her so much about it, it was the most common thing that he had commented on her.
But, what the weirdest thing was, that was what he liked most about her. You'd think that he was annoyed especially by her childish behaviour, since that was the thing he teased her most about, but now, when he was taking care of a girl who represented the whole childishness in her, he comprehended that it was the thing he liked the most in her, the thing he loved about her. It was the most wonderful and the strangest thing he had ever realized.
It wasn't the only thing that he understood he liked very much about Usagi. Slowly, as deeply as he was seeping into the soul of the small child by his side, he saw more and more things he loved about his Odango.
But at that point, he didn't realize one thing that would hit him like a ton of bricks later on - the eight year old Usako was a little angel that had, through his love for her and her love for him, been guiding him on a rose petal-covered path to the teenage girl he never knew was his one and only love on this Earth.
Usagi was finally tucked in, and Mamoru sat on her bed and kissed her forehead goodnight.
"Mamo-chan..." she whispered tiredly.
"Yeah?"
"Can you sing that song again? The one you sang to me the night after I came here?" She looked at him pleadingly. He raised his eyebrows.
"Well, sure... But why?" She frowned, closing her eyes, and fixing one of her adorable pouts.
"What do you mean why? I like your voice, and it's perfect for when I'm trying to fall asleep. Please?"
He sighed, placing a little sad smile on his lips and whispered, "Hai."
"Shareta koto ienai keredo
Sotto soba ni ite ageru
Diary moji azayaka ni
Kimi to ashita egakou
Moshi mo kagayaki wo motomete
Ai no monogatari
Yomioete mo samishii naraba
Yume iro DORESU kisete
Hitomi toji ai wo kome kuchizuke wo sasageyou
I do love you ore no inochi
Pretty baby dakishimete ageyou
Kidorigao dekinai keredo
Atsui manazashi okurou
Lonely night hoshikuzu atsume
Kimi wo hikariterasou
Moshi mo tokimeki wo sagashite
Sora ni negai kake
Uranatte mo setsunai naraba
Tenshi no tsubasa tobashi
Afurederu namida fuki kuchizuke wo sasageyou
I do love you ore no inochi
Pretty baby dakishimete ageyou
Tenshi no tsubasa tobashi
Afurederu namida fuki kuchizuke wo sasageyou
I do love you ore no inochi
Pretty baby dakishimete ageyou...
All the time he was singing the song, he was thinking of Usagi. Now he wasn't thinking of her hair, or her figure, or her childish behaviour that made her so special. He thought of every time he's hurt her, every time she shot him an icy glare, sometimes even filling with tears because of the insults he had been continuously and mercilessly throwing at her each time they met, whether on the street or in the arcade. Of how she'd never forgive him and would avoid him if she was her real self, just so he couldn't insult her.
Of how much she hated him.
"Sweet dreams, Usako," he whispered hoarsely.
Silence answered him, as she continued to breathe evenly, her eyes closed. He kissed her cheek softly one more time, and flaked out on his bed, forcing the tears back to their ducts.
Next morning, sunlight that had peered in through the large window next to Mamoru's bed woke Usagi up. She opened her eyes drowsily and yawned, buried beneath a thick quilt and a blanket with crescent moons and stars embroidered on them, suddenly taking into notice the rustle in the kitchen. She sat in her bed, listening to what was going on.
She heard clanks of porcelain, pouring of a liquid into a mug, and squeaking of a chair as somebody sat on it and moved. Mamoru eating breakfast, she knew. She got up, walked to the kitchen and sat on a chair, next to Mamoru.
"Good morning," she chirped.
"Good morning, Usako. What are you doing up so early?" he asked, sipping at his coffee. She shrugged.
"I wanted to join you here. I'm not so sleepy anyway. What's for breakfast?" she asked, peering into his plate. He got up and opened a cupboard, taking another plate and a mug.
"I was in a mood for waffles," he replied. He put the plate in front of her, together with the mug. "Want some?"
"Yeah!" shecried out happily. He smiled. "Thought so. And what are you doing here barefoot? You're going to catch a cold, go get your slippers!"
He made breakfast for he rwhile she was watching her Saturday morning anime on the TV. He brought her plate and put it on the coffee table, warning her not to make a mess. But, she noticed how he cleaned the apartment a bit, carrying stuff around,what was his ceremonybefore he'd go out somewhere. He liked to leave the place clean.Once she asked him why he did it, and he said it was just his habit. Ah, well, we're all different.
But now, she recognized it and wondered about it, he'd never go anywhere on Sturday mornings.
"Mamo-chan, are you going somewhere?" she asked suspiciously. He just nodded, adding a "Uh-huh" while he was carrying a magazine to their bedroom.
"Where?"
"Nowhere, I just have something to do," he mumbled inaudibly, so Usagi barely picked it up.
"Can I come with?" she asked cheerily, finishing with her waffles.
"Go take that back to the kitchen. I don't know, I think it would be boring to you. I'm going to a cemetery, you know," he said from the bedroom.
"It's not a funeral, is it?" she yelled to him from the kitchen.
"No," he yelled back. "I'm just going to visit a couple of graves, that's all. Jeez, these clouds came so quickly! Ah, no sun today..." She came to the bedroom and made her bed, finally sitting on it.
"Well, if you're just going to visit a grave or two, it won't be boring. Please, can I come? Pretty please with sugar on top?" He smiled at her and looked at her for a moment, already feeling how he's giving up.
"Okay, you can come. But get dressed quickly, we're leaving soon."
"Thank you!" she said, running to him and hugging him tightly. He laughed and hugged her back.
In fifteen minutes, they were in his car, driving to the Tokyo Cemetery. When they got there, they got out of the car, walking through the huge entrance with big, white, stonearches above. They started to walk between graves with old, creaked gravestones and with dried flowers on them, making it a sad scene.
The walk to the gravesthey were visiting was silent and dreary, somehow filled with sorrow and tears. Mamoru kept staring at the graveled path in front of him, his hands in the pockets of his jacket, not saying a word. Usagi was somehow frightened at the scene of her Mamo-chan like this... His features suddenly became more tense and sad, his lips were set in a straight line and his eyes cold and closed for the outside world. He looked much older and sadder than usually, and much more tense. She kept glancing at him from time to time, but nothing changed. It was the first time he had been ignoring her like this, and the feeling wasn't comfortable at all.
She couldn't stand it anymore, so she did a brave thing - she neared him and slipped her arm through his, leaning on it. She tried to comfort him, to make things better so he wouldn't be so sad anymore. She was trying to do a simple little thing, to make the sad expression on his face go away, but she had no idea just how big the thing she did was. He looked down on her just as she looked up at him, with a mesmerized expression and surprise in his eyes. She smiled at him just a little, to give him strength to go on. The reaction was immediate and so fast that she had no idea what happened, and already he was down on her level, embracing her.
"Thank you," he whispered in her ear. She was confused. Why was he thanking her? What did she do? She widened her eyes in wonder, but hugged him back. She was glad that at least he wasn't as tense and weird anymore. He got up again and took her by the hand. He sighed and his face became older again, but not as much anymore.
Usagi cleared her throat. "So" she started, "Whose grave are we visiting?" Mamoru raised his gaze and now stared somewhere far away.
"My parents'," he replied softly. Usagi's eyes widened, and she gasped.
"Your... your..."
"Hai," he said, giving her a sad smile.
"I didn't know..." she whispered, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.
"Of course you didn't, how would you?"
But, as Usagi was still a child, her curiosity was getting the better of her, and Mamoru was expecting the inevitable. He didn't mind, he knew that it would be even better if she knew what happened, so she could feel that they were closer by another thing too.
"How did it happen?" she asked him silently. He smiled instantly. Sighing, he began his story.
"Once, when I was about six, my parents and I were going somewhere in our car. Something happened, I think the car slipped, and we hit a tree next to the road. The accident was huge, the car was crashed completely and my parents died instantly. The ambulance came right away and they found me unconscious, but alive. When I woke up, I couldn't remember anything from my life, so the doctors told me my name was Chiba Mamoru. Ah, here it is." He put the flowers he had been carrying the whole way to the cemetery down on the grave and squatted in front of the double grave with a beautiful black marble gravestone, which said:
Chiba Setsuko, April 28, 1970 -May 15,1991
Chiba Kyouichi, November 12, 1968 - May 15, 1991
"I was moved from orphanage to orphanage since then, until I was eighteen and began to live on my own." He ran a hand through his hair nervously.
"It was surely hard for you to live alone for so long... without your parents to support you..." Usagi said sadly. He nodded.
"Sometimes I remember them and come here to think of how would it have been if they didn't die. I used to think about it a lot when I was a kid, I guess it was my world of fantasies I'd go to if I was unhappy. I mainly got over it, but I'm still kinda lonely without my parents to worry about me..."
Usagi squatted next to him.
"Yeah..." she said, looking at the golden kanji on the black marble. "That's how I feel sometimes... Lonely without my parents..." Mamoru looked at her, worried.
"It's not that often, though, since you're there to take care of me and love me, but I wonder what my real mom is like, and what my real dad is like, and all that. It's kinda weird not having a mom... But you're here and I'm thankful for that. I can't say I'm not pleased," she smiled. "At least we have one thing in common."
"Yeah," he agreed.
They were squatting there for a bit, each in his own thoughts. The silence was perfect to think, and it was very peaceful.
"C'mon," Mamoru said. "Let's head back." They moved to the exit in silence, but it wasn't as strange and dreary as before, but a pleasant silence encompassed them which they both enjoyed in. Their thoughts weren't troubled; in the contrary, they were closer than ever, and they both deepened their love to each other, and reached a stage of closeness that rare people can get to. She loved him as a combination of a father and a brother, and he loved her as his little angel, a daughter or a kid sister. They both loved each other immensely, although they weren't aware just how big their love was.
Suddenly Mamoru felt how Usagi wasn't next to him anymore. Stopping, he looked around and when he didn't find her, he looked back. She was standing in front of a grave, thirty-five feet away, staring at it, surprised. He went back to her, to see what had taken her by so much surprise.
"What is it, Usako?" he asked, worried.
"Look..." she said with a shaky voice.
On a grave that was very pretty and neat, in front of the gravestone there was a marble sculpture shaped as an open book. It was big, and in beautiful silver writing it said:
A little flower
Had just started to bloom.
Suddenly, a storm came and blew
Tore it away
And why -
It never even knew.
And above that,the gravestone said, in the same writing:
Mitani Keiko, March 7, 1983 - November 11, 1987
"She was younger than me," Usagi whispered shakily. Mamoru put a hand on her shoulder.
"Wow," he whispered sadly. He squatted next to it.
"She'd be two years older than me. Think of it. Maybe we could have even been friends or something...?" Mamoru said, looking at the many sculptures of angels that surrounded the gravestone.
"Her parents must have loved her very much, look how pretty it looks... And what she could do in her life... What she'd missed..." She sighed, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Why does it happen, Mamo-chan?" she said, crying. "It's not fair! It's not right..." He embraced her gently and she buried her face into his black polo he wore under his gray jacket. She sobbed for a couple of minutes, holding onto Mamoru for protection and comfort.
"I don't know... It just does... Shh.. See, that's just why you have to use every moment you have... Shh, don't cry, sweetie..."
Finally, she stopped crying and they slowly resumed their walk, thinking and praying for the little girl whose life had been taken from her in such a young age. But, when they walked to the exit ,this time there was no silence, they talked about all sorts of things, just to keep Usagi cheery.
Finally Mamoru realized just how he loved the constantly giving heart that his Odango and his Usako both shared.
End of Chapter Three -
So, that's it. Hope you liked it, as always. Oh, and about that story that Mamoru told to Usagi, please check again in a couple of days, I'll put a better version of it. It was read to me by my English teacher and I just wrote what I remembered, a re-told version. The real one's hung in my English classroom and I'll copy it and put it here. It'smuch better.
And you know how much I like putting songs into my fanfics... Ah well, that's just how I am. -grin- Here's the translation (it's great and romantic, and Mamoru's actual voice actor sang it!)
Dakishimete Itai (I Want To Hold You)
Stylish things I cannot say, and yet
I will stay softly by your side
With vivid letters in my diary
I will write of you and the future
If even after seeking out your brilliance
And having finished reading through
The tale of love, when I am lonely
Dressing you in the color of dreams
I close my eyes, and with my love, I offer to you my kiss
I do love you, for all of my life
Pretty baby, I will hold you close in my arms
Making pretenses I cannot do, and yet
I will give to you a passioned glance
Gathering stardust on a lonely night
I will shine bright light upon you
If even after searching for this fluttering
And making wishes to the sky
For fortunes told, when my heart is in pain
Letting loose the wings of an angel
With tears falling, overflowing, I offer to you my kiss
I do love you, for all of my life
Pretty baby, I will hold you close in my arms
Letting loose the wings of an angel
With tears falling, overflowing, I offer to you my kiss
I do love you, for all of my life
Pretty baby, I will hold you close in my arms
See? Hehe. See ya!
Sabreen