"Last time, on a Smashy Amazing Race, teams went to Yoshi's Island!" said Master Hand. "Peach and Jigglypuff blew up the airport, making Young Link and Ganondorf divert their flight to Mushroom Kingdom! Nana and Popo sparked relationship problems, arguing the whole leg! Young Link and Ganondorf went full out, even though there was a big disadvantage for them. At the pit stop, Falcon and Donkey Kong and Young Link and Ganondorf were even near the pit stop, but Falcon hit Ganondorf, which made Falcon and Donkey Kong safe, and Young Link and Ganondorf eliminated.
"Will front runners Link and Jigglypuff stay on top? Will Nana and Popo's arguments weaken their performance?
"Now there are only seven teams left, and six legs left. Who will be eliminated next?"

The Teams:

Nana and Popo (Passive-aggressive)
Link and Jigglypuff (Happy go-lucky)
Kirby and Yoshi (Digestive-aggressive)
Peach and Bowser (POO! Hehe! Peach? Do you seriously want this to be our title for this leg? IRON! Hehehehehe!)
Ness and Mewtwo (Cranium-aggressive)
Samus and Zelda (Straight aggressive)
Falcon and DK (If Zelda was a guy, then I would be his girl, and he would be my boy, and then we would make beautiful puppies… POO! Hehehehehehhe! Peach! Get off! BUT I WANT WATERMELONS!)

LEG SEVEN

"All teams must depart at the same time, at 8:00 AM!" said Master Hand.

8:00 AM

Everybody ran out of 'Yoshi's Hut', and grabbed for the clue box, but no one could reach it. People started pushing other people away, and some people retaliated. Bowser punched everyone, including Peach, and then shouted.
"Stop it! Everyone!" said Bowser, in a high squeaky voice. "Whoops, heh heh, my voice is normally low… not taking pills… to make my voice low… and to enlarge my…"
Link ran up to the front of the clue box. "Everyone, we should all take turns to get a clue! It isn't the last leg of the race, you know! Actually, at this point none of us are going to win the race if we keep on fighting for it! And… HEY LOOK! A HOTEL! LOOK AT IT FOR THIRTY SECONDS!"
Link grabbed a clue, got out a saw, sawed at the clue box, and tried to throw it into the nearest ravine, but missed, and hit Donkey Kong's left eyeball.
"Hey!" said Peach. "He took a clue! I'm calling the truck!"
Peach got out her pink cell phone, pressed a few keys and then waited, as a large truck full of lard ran over Donkey Kong.
"Why did you do that?" asked Falcon.
Peach got out her cell phone, typed in a few keys, and a giant muffin landed on Falcon.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"You must now make your way to 'Shy Guy's Golf Course'," read Link.

"Teams must now go to Shy Guy's Golf Course, home of the Yoshi International, where they must search for hole thirteen. They must then rent clubs from the shack next to the hole, and start to play holes thirteen, fourteen and fifteen. When each team both complete a hole on or under par both players at the same time, they can go to the next hole. When they complete hole number fifteen, they will be given their next clue!" said Master Hand.

"Jigglypuff, are you really going to dump those laxative-laced cookies there?" asked Link.
"Jig!" said Jigglypuff. "Don't worry! It's a national park! We're supposed to dump dangerous goods here!"

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
"Hold still DK," said Peach. "I'm just getting the clue box out of your eye very delicately!"
Peach yanked the clue box out really delicately, and injured a stander-by, because of how hard she pulled it out.
"That's better!" said Peach, taking a clue.
Peach and Bowser ran down a road following Link and Jigglypuff, when Bowser looked at Peach.
"Peach, are you sure we need that industrial-strength tennis ball launcher and that rake, and that giant spider web net?" asked Bowser.
"What if the bees come back?" asked Peach.
"Just put it down!" said Bowser.
"Okay! But if the bees come, you'll be sorry!" said Peach, putting everything down.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place
"Get a clue!" screamed Kirby.
Yoshi pulled out a clue, and started following the others.
"We have to play golf!" said Kirby. "Let's turn into that shop!"
Kirby and Yoshi ran into 'Koopa Golf Shop', and went on a wild shopping spree, and spilt up into three groups with master hand. WILL THEY EVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE AGAIN! ARE THESE TYPES OF FICS BORING? DO WE NEED TO CAPITALISE OUR TITLES TO MAKE OUR STORIES BETTER? And is it an accidental humour fic?
"Are you done, Master Hand?" asked Kirby.
"Sorry," said Master Hand. "I was just stuck in one of those 'Beach Quest' fics."
"Unfunny, I know," said Kirby.
"Yes," said Master Hand.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Indeed!"
"Definitely not interesting," said Kirby.
"I agree," said Sonic who then shot himself in the head because he will never be a Smash Bros character.
"Quite frankly, I disagree!" said Mario.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Kirby.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Master Hand.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Yoshi.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Sonic.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Peach.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Falco.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Theau Thor.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
Ness and Mewtwo ran along, trailing the others, and then saw a golf cart going along at 10 km/h.
"Do it?" asked Ness.
"Let's do it!" said Mewtwo.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
Zelda grabbed the clue, and spotted Ness and Mewtwo hijacking a low-speed golf cart. Samus saw a taxi pull up next to them.
"Hi, Samus, Hi Zelda…" said Marth, cracking his knuckles. "I mean, howdy strangers, would you like to get into my taxi?"
"You're not even trying, anymore Marth," said Zelda.
"Can't you read? My sign says: EYE EM A SHUY GUY! So there! So you need to hop into my taxi! Humph!" said Marth.
"You can't fool us, Marth!" said Samus.
Marth looked sneakingly, and then said, "Oh really, what if I just unzip this costume of myself, and become…"
Zelda looked in surprise, and Samus looked shock.
"MARTH!" said Marth. "Haha, I fooled you, didn't I?" Zelda pushed Marth out of the taxi. "You thought you had me there, but you know… I'm actually Marth! HAHAHAHAHA!"
Samus and Zelda drove off.

Falcon and Donkey Kong
Currently in 6th Place
"Let's run!" said Falcon.
Falcon and DK ran past Samus and Zelda and Ness and Mewtwo.

Nana and Popo
Currently in Last Place
"Taxi!" screamed Popo.
"Why do we need a taxi?" asked Nana. "Walking is much faster!"
"No it isn't!" shouted Popo.
"Yes it is," said Nana.
"These taxis can fly, you know, and we'll get there in eight seconds, instead of walking ten minutes!" said Popo.
"Sure," said Nana. "They can fly!"
"Yes, they can!" said Popo, angrily.
"JUST SHUT UP POPO, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! YOU'RE REALLY ANNOYING AND YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE WITH ME ON THIS RACE? I COULD WIN IT BY MYSELF, BUT NOOO! POPO NEEDS TO TAKE 'SMART CHOICES', LIKE FLYING TAXIS, AND, ROUTES THAT ARE HUNDREDS OF KILOMETRES SHORTER!" screamed Nana.
"Shut up!" shouted Popo.
"Now, now," said Nana, "There's no need to shout."
"But you just shout j…" said Popo.
"I DON'T CARE! YOU CAN GO AND F…"
Her next word was drowned out by the engine of the flying taxi, allowing this story to remain PG.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
Link walked slowly into the golf course, while dragging Jigglypuff along, who was trying to make a huge divot so she could sell it on EBay, and then spend those dollars making pancakes.
"Jigglypuff… you're ruining public property!" said Link.
Jigglypuff fell over face first into the ground, and stopped breathing.
"Oh no!" screamed Link. "What have I done? Have I killed her?"
Link looked down at the ground at Jigglypuff. Jigglypuff turned around and then threw a pie into Link's face, and then started giggling again, and then fell back into the ground, and stopped breathing again.
"I'm fine…" said Link, in a sarcastic angry tone.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
"And when the rhinoceros used birth control pills, the baby turned out to be a jelly bean!" said Peach.
"I know," said Bowser. "You've said that twelve times!"
"And when the rhinoceros used birth control pills, the baby turned out to be a jelly bean!" said Peach.
"I KNOW!" said Bowser.
"I know, how about I stop saying stuff like this, make people underestimate us, then we can finish first every leg, and then we can win the million dollars! How about that?" asked Peach.
"Wow Peach, did you… did you… say something smart?" asked Bowser.
"People underestimate me," said Peach. "And when the rhinoceros used birth control pills, the baby turned out to be a jelly bean!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place
Kirby and Yoshi were outside the entrance of the golf club, when Kirby saw a stall that caught his eye. Kirby dragged Yoshi along off the course. Kirby looked at the shopkeeper.
"Hello, customer!" said the shopkeeper.
"Hi," said Kirby. "Do you have a radio? I only have three dollars, and a credit card."
"Are you sure you don't want an I-Pad™?" asked the shopkeeper.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "No way! Why would Kirby want an I-Pad™? They cost at least three-hundred dollars!"
"Yeah," said Kirby. "Why should I?"
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Wow Kirby, you're starting to become a smart consumer!"
"Well, today we have a special, an I-Pad only costs $299.99!" said the shopkeeper.
"Oooooh!" said Kirby. "I save one cent!"
"That's right!" said the shopkeeper.
"Yoshi! Hup herr Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "No way, we're not interested! There is absolutely no way you are going to make us waste our race money on shoddy gadgets!"
"Okay, I give up," said the shopkeeper. "I'll make it $299.98 plus tax!"
"Yoshi? Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Didn't you hear me? No way!"

Falcon and DK
Currently in 4th Place
"Let's do it!" said Donkey Kong.
"You know you want me to do it," said Falcon.
"Pardon?" asked DK.
"YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME TO PLANT THESE SEEDS IN THE GROUND SO WE CAN HAVE A NICE ENVIRONMENT! A NICE ENVIRONMENT LEADS TO NATURAL RESOURCES, SO NATURAL RESOURCES CAN BE USED FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS! AND FUTURE GENERATIONS ARE OUR FUTURE! YOU BELIEVE ME! RIGHT? RIGHT?" screamed Falcon.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 5th Place
"Look at the way Donkey Kong beats up Falcon, it makes me soooo hot…" said Zelda, smiling.
"You… did you…" asked Samus.
"SO I BETTER TAKE MY JUMPER OFF, SO I CAN HAVE MORE APPROPRIATE ATTIRE, SO I CAN STAY AT THE RIGHT TEMPERATURE? GET IT! TEMPERATURE? JOKE! JOKE!" Zelda laughed maniacally and dived into a bush, crying.

You sick of this joke? Well now, for something completely different…

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 6th Place
"We're not doing much this leg," said Mewtwo.
"Yes," said Ness.

You sick of this joke? Well now, for something completely different…

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 6th Place
"We're not doing much this leg," said Mewtwo.
"Yes," said Ness.

You sick of this joke? Well now, for something completely different…

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 6th Place
"We're not doing much this leg," said Mewtwo.
"Yes," said Ness.

You sick of this joke? Well now, for something completely different…

OH NOES THE ZEEBRA ON TEH ROLLERSKATEs11111

Nana and Popo
Currently in Last Place
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM POPO? YOU'RE WASTING TIME!" said Nana.
"Well, you're wasting time, by now you could've got the clue…" said Popo.

Link and Jigglypuff
Hole Thirteen: Try one
"Okay Jigglypuff, you have to get this hole in three shots, okay?" asked Link.
Link stood up, and looked at the Shy Guy supervisor.
"Okay," said Link.
Jigglypuff handed Link a golf club, and Link got ready for his shot. Link was just about to hit it, when Jigglypuff let out a giant, high pitched squeal, making Link hit it only a few metres.
"Okay Jigglypuff, your shot…" said Link, angrily.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
Peach and Bowser walked up to hole thirteen and sat down, waiting for Link and Jigglypuff.
"Hi golf balls, you look fine today! I'll call you Stephanie, and I'll call this one Anna, because Anna is my favourite name, and I'll call this ball Henry, and Henry is my favourite one, because he is a prince, and he would want to marry a princess like me!"
Peach turned around and looked at Bowser.
"Bowser, what are you doing?" asked Peach.
"Uh… die golf balls!" screamed Bowser in a faked tone.
Bowser banged his fists on the balls a few times. Peach turned around to the opposite direction of Bowser.
"What have I done?" cried Bowser. "I'm a monster!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place
"Cool, an I-Pad!" said Kirby. "Now all I need to do is install the twelve disc software onto my computer, install USB, download some songs that I like, realise that it doesn't work, buy a patch for the I-Pad software, realise that I've got the wrong operating system for the patch, re-order the patch, re-order the re-order of a patch because the disc was smashed during shipping, install the re-ordered, re-ordered patch, install all twelve discs again, re-install USB, install I-Pad Tunes, realise that the only songs that work come from the I-Pad Tunes stall, order some songs, order a patch so that the patch that I installed can read the songs, buy the songs and download them, transfer them over to the I-Pad, then try and play it, but need some batteries, so I just need to get some batteries!"
"Yoshi…" said Yoshi sarcastically. "Sounds easy, doesn't it?"
"Yay!" said Kirby, jumping around in circles happily.

9:05 AM

Link and Jigglypuff
Hole thirteen: Try 5
Link putted the ball into the hole to get a birdie. Link picked up the ball, and walked back to the tee where it was Jigglypuff's turn.
"Jigglypuff, it's your turn, you need to get it in three shots or less!" said Link.
Jigglypuff picked up the putter.
"No! Jigglypuff!" screamed Link.
Jigglypuff putted the ball off the tee. It went about two metres. Jigglypuff clapped and giggled. Link smacked his face.
Jigglypuff picked up the putter again, and tried to do a snooker shot onto the green. It went about a metre. Jigglypuff clapped in excitement. Link was excited to kill Jigglypuff.
Jigglypuff picked up the putter, and using all of her energy, putted it as hard as she could. It went about four metres. Link got out his bob-bomb.
Jigglypuff picked up the putter again, and smashed it, missing the ball, and making a giant divot, which fell into the hole.
"She didn't hit it," said the Shy Guy inspector. "It's a Par!"
Link and Jigglypuff
Finished hole thirteen

Nana and Popo
Hole thirteen: Try 1
"Popo, this is how you hold a golf club," said Nana.
"Nana, I know how to hold a golf club, I'm the junior Nintendo champion! And besides, you're holding the golf club upside down…" said Popo.
Popo got out his driver, and whacked the ball. It landed on the green right next to the hole.
"You're not doing it right!" screamed Nana. Nana ran up to the green, picked up the ball, and piffed it into a sand trap.
"Why did you do that?" shouted Popo.
"Because I'm the queen," said Nana.
Samus walked up to Nana and Popo.
"You know, you could win this leg if you don't piff the ball, Nana," said Samus.
Nana whacked Samus with a golf club.

Samus and Zelda
Hole thirteen: Try 1
Angered by what Nana had done to her team-mate, Zelda pulled her trusty dagger out of her dress. But Nana had a knife of her own!
While Zelda and Nana fought to the death, Samus threw Popo bodily over to hole eleven and scored a perfect hole in one, with the help of a secret golf mechanism hidden in her suit.
Samus and Zelda
Finished Hole Thirteen

Kirby and Yoshi
Hole thirteen: Try 4
Kirby swung the club and hit it a few centimetres, making him get a bogey.
"Yoshi her Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Kirby! Stop listening to your I-Pad and concentrate on the race! I've done this hole four times on par!"
"But the sound of Bowser singing about his v…" said Kirby who was going to keep on talking, except a nearby truck blocked the sound. "…is so distracting!"

Ness and Mewtwo
Hole thirteen: Try 6
"Ness, if you get that in, we'll finish the hole!" said Mewtwo.
"Huh," said Falcon. "Nerds suck at sport!" said Falcon.

10:00 AM… one hour later…

Falcon and DK
Hole thirteen: Try 11
"We're the last team here," said Falcon.
"You still think nerds suck at sport?" asked Donkey Kong.

Link and Jigglypuff
Hole fifteen: Try 1
"Quickly," said Link. "Samus and Zelda are coming! You have to get this in five shots!"
Jigglypuff got out the putter, putted the ball, making it roll flat along the ground, roll on top of the water, roll out of the water, into the hole.
"Completed!" said the Shy Guy.
Samus and Zelda ran up to Link and Jigglypuff, and looked at the Shy Guy handing Link the clue.
"Did you just complete this hole?" asked Zelda.
"Yep, Jigglypuff got a hole in one," said Link.
"With a putter?" asked Samus.
"Yep," said Link.
"Damn uncos," said Samus.
"Jig puh puff iggly wiggly? Ig jig iggly puh puff!" said Jigglypuff. "Oh yeah? Well we're uncos, so there!"
Jigglypuff fell over, combusted, and formed back together on the Shy Guy's head with a hat on.
"You now have to travel to Shy Guy Entertainment centre!" said Link.

"Teams must now travel to Shy Guy's entertainment centre by hourly shuttle, where they must find the front entrance where they will find their next clue!" said Master Hand.

Link and Jigglypuff ran out of the golf course, and looked at the shuttle times.
"10:30!" said Link. "We've got 25 minutes."

Samus and Zelda
Hole Fifteen: Try 1
"Damn!" said Zelda, as she hit the ball into a sand trap.
"Try thinking about how much you'd want to hit Donkey Kong. Aggression will make you do wonderful things!" said Samus.
Zelda tentatively hit the ball.
"I'm so sorry Donkey Kong," said Zelda, crying.
"Uh…" said Samus. "…pretend you're hitting… Link?"
Zelda smashed the ball out of the sand trap, sending it flying into the hole.
"See?" said Samus. "You just have to let out your frustration, if you don't have a secret golf mechanism in your dress. I wonder why you didn't get aggressive when it was Donkey Kong?"
…
Hint.
Hint.
cough romance cough
Hint.
Hint.
OH NOES THE ZEEBRA ON TEH ROLLERSKATEs11111
Hint.
cough romance cough

Kirby and Yoshi
Hole fifteen: Try 1
"Yoshi hup Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Kirby! If you get this hole in under five shots, we'll finish and you can listen to your I-Pad all you want!"
"Ooh! Really?" asked Kirby.
Kirby drove the ball very quickly which landed in the hole. Kirby took the clue, and then put the I-Pad headphones in his ears.
"Yoshi…" said Yoshi. "Kirby, wow, you…"
"No!" screamed Kirby, listening peacefully to his I-Pad.
"Yoshi…" said Yoshi. "But Kirby, you…"
"I said no!" said Kirby.
Yoshi snatched the clue from Kirby's hands and read it, then dragged Kirby out.

Shuttle One
10:30 AM
"Link and Jigglypuff, Samus and Zelda and Kirby and Yoshi are on the first bus to Shy Guy's entertainment centre!" said Master Hand.

Ness and Mewtwo
Hole fourteen: Try 5
"Nana and Popo, us and Peach and Bowser are on the second hole, Falcon and DK are still on the first hole, I don't know where the heck the others are, but we've all struggled, though me and Ness have never touched a golf club before, while more than half of them have!" said Mewtwo.
"Mewtwo, you have to get this in three!" said Ness.
Falcon and Donkey Kong walked up after finishing the thirteenth hole.
"Hey, nerds!" said Captain Falcon. "We caught up, so what are you gonna do about it?"
Mewtwo whacked a hole in one, to get his team to the next hole.

Ness and Mewtwo
Hole fifteen: Try 1
"Wow!" said Ness, clapping. "Two hole in ones in a row!"
"Wow, we finished. I wonder how those other nerds were going!" said Mewtwo.
"Don't underestimate your opponents," said Ness.
"Maybe you're right," said Mewtwo.

Falcon and DK
Hole fourteen
Donkey Kong missed the ball completely, and swung the ball into Falcon's leg.
"Heh, monkeys suck at golf!" said Peach.
"Then why haven't you done hole fourteen?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Because the sun's too hot!" said Peach, poking her tongue out.
"There's no reasoning in your argument!" said Donkey Kong.
"Maybe you're jealous that I'm married to a plumber, another plumber, you and Bowser!"
"You want a piece of me?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Well, I could use another spleen," said Peach.
"You're married, Donkey Kong?" said Falcon. "Damn!"
"Pardon?" asked DK.
"Uh… nothing…" said Falcon.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Me and Ness are here, waiting for the 11:30 bus, and we're just hoping no-one will make it!" said Mewtwo.

11:10 AM
10:30 Shuttle Arrives

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Run!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi, Yoshi hup yup! Yoshi herr up…" said Yoshi. "Wow Kirby, It's nice to hear you trying to hurry me up. I guess that over time you've learnt that your I-Pad isn't the on-"
Yoshi looked at Kirby, back a few metres, trying to load songs onto his I-Pad. Yoshi grabbed Kirby, forced him to the front of the building, and took a clue.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Detour!"

"Detour!" said Master Hand. "A detour is when each team has to choose between two tasks. This time, they have to choose between Serve Up, or Serve Down.
"In serve up, teams must go to the cooking rooms, and serve up a traditional Shy Guyan lamb dish. They must gather all the ingredients, prepare the food, then cook it. This doesn't take any physical strength and should be relatively easy; however, the cooking time is fifteen minutes.
"In serve down, teams must go to the tennis courts, and serve ten serves in a row over 130km/h, faults allowed. Each team member takes five serves each, swapping every serve. This task is physically demanding, but anyone with tennis experience should go through this relatively easily and quickly."

"Yoshi hup?" asked Yoshi. "What shall we do?"
"Serve up, because I like food… not for the I-Pad… really… seriously…" said Kirby.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
Link and Jigglypuff jumped off the shuttle, and ran over to the cluebox.
"Ig Jig Ig?" asked Jigglypuff. "Link, can I vandalise public property?"
"Of course! But wait… our money is going into the repair of public property! And when we pay our taxes, it will go into the repair of what you did!" said Link.
"Ig Jig Puh Ig, Jiggly?" asked Jigglypuff. "But if Bowser becomes governor, won't our money be put into destroying stuff anyway?"
"I guess," said Link. "Carry on!"
Jigglypuff burnt down a nearby kindergarten, and then read the clue.
"Jig puh puggly ig?" asked Jigglypuff. "Serve up, or serve down?"
"Serve up," said Link.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 3rd Place
"Run!" said Samus.
Samus picked up a clue, and read it.
"Hey Link! What are you doing?" asked Zelda to Link, who was a few metres away.
"Serve up, my dear!" said Link.
"Well too bad, I've fallen for that hot monkey, so I guess I'll have to go to the other task!" said Zelda.
"You fell for what?" said Samus.
"Let's go!" said Zelda.
Samus and Zelda ran off, to the tennis complex.

Link and Jigglypuff
Happy go-lucky
"Ig Puh Jig!" said Jigglypuff. "Don't worry! I can be your new girlfriend! And then we can have babies!"
Link thought about that for a moment, and then shortly ran over to a garbage bin.

Nana and Popo
Hole fourteen: Try 8
"Popo, if you just listen to me, we'll get through this hole!" said Nana.
"No we won't!" said Popo. "I've got an easy putt to the hole, don't make me use my driver!"
"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN? I'M TELLING YOU THIS, I'M THE DICTATOR, AND YOU'RE THE SMALL BUG IN MY WAY, NOW I'M TELLING YOU THE WAY TO DO IT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT WE'RE LOSING!" screamed Nana.
"Wait, my fault?" asked Popo. "Weren't you that piffed my ball away into the lake? Weren't you the one that set alight my best driver, because it wasn't 'safe enough'? Weren't you the one trying to tell me to putt with my driver, which is now a pile of ash?"
"Don't ask questions Popo," said Nana. "You're too young to understand…"
"I'M TWO YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!" said Popo.

Samus and Zelda
Serves: 0
Zelda tossed the ball in the air, and whacked it straight down the line.
"128km/h," said Zelda. "Harder than I thought!"
"Imagine it's DK," said Samus.
Zelda missed the ball.
"Link," said Samus.
Zelda smashed the ball down straight down the line, and smashed a nearby window.
"Whoa," said Samus. "4008km/h, that's pretty good."

Shuttle 2 departs
11:30 AM
"There's no one else here, so I think we're in a good position," said Ness.

Kirby and Yoshi
Digestive-Aggressive
"You have to cut the lamb up into fine pieces, spread them out on a plate, mix chilli sauce with a hint of pasta sauce, cook, and then pour over," said the Shy Guy instructor.
Yoshi got the lamb, chopped it up very quickly, and spread them out on a plate quickly, then looked at Kirby, who was listening to his I-Pad.
"Yoshi hurr!" said Yoshi. "Come here!"
"Just wait!" said Kirby. ".mk1 og ylno dna tfel nruT !tuctrohs a si ereht ,kram mk3 eht ta ihsoY dna ybriK" sung Kirby.
"Yoshi! Hup Yoshi hurr!" said Yoshi. "Come on! You're just listening to techno where the lyrics mean nothing! No subliminal messages!"
"Subliminal messages?" asked Kirby.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Yes, Subliminal messages!"
"Subliminal messages?" asked Kirby.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Yes, Subliminal messages!"
"What with all these subliminal messages, I'm surprised neither of you have tried to steal any food yet," said the Shy Guy instructor. Only go 1km."

Link and Jigglypuff
Happy go-lucky
"Jig, you pour the sauce, and I'll do the beef," said Link.
Jigglypuff started pouring out the sauce into a bowl, and mixed it together. Jigglypuff forgot to put the cap on the chilli sauce, and she knocked it over, making some writing on the wall.
"Jig ig Ig!" said Jigglypuff, reading her writing. "Zelda likes Donkey Kong! How sweet!"
"Yes…" said Link, clenching his teeth. "How sweet."

Samus and Zelda
Serves: 9
Zelda looked at the ball, seeing it as Link's head. She let out a giant scream and then bashed it into the court, making them complete the task.
"Good," said Samus, grabbing the clue.

"Teams must now travel to Yoshi International Space Station by half-hourly shuttle, where they will find their next clue," said Master Hand.

"The time's 11:33, the next shuttle's at 11:50," said Samus.

Kirby and Yoshi
Cooking time: 3 minutes
"Yoshi hup?" asked Yoshi. "Kirby, what are you listening to now?"
"The palindrome song!" said Kirby. "Anna otto otto Anna!" sung Kirby.

Link and Jigglypuff
"Jig, put it in!" said Link.
Jigglypuff put the lamb into the oven, and then accidentally blew up the wall, making the words on the ground: "Donkey Kong and Zelda",
"STOP IT!" screamed Link. "STOP IT!"

Peach and Bowser
Hole fourteen: Try 9
"Peach, why won't you do it?" asked Bowser. "You just have to tap the ball into the hole, and we can go to the next hole!"
"But the ball loves me… and you!" said Peach.
"Aww, that's so sweet of them…" said Bowser. "Let's be friends, golf balls…"
Everyone stared at Bowser.
"I AM AN EVIL KOOPA WHO WANTS TO KILL PEOPLE…" said Bowser in a faked tone.
Bowser whacked Peach in the back, making her hit the ball into the hole.

1st shuttle to Space Station
11:50 AM
"Us, Kirby and Yoshi and Link and Jigglypuff are on the first shuttle to the Space Station!" said Master Hand.

12:10 PM
11:30 Shuttle Arrives

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Go!" said Ness. "We've got ground to catch up!"
Ness opened the envelope, and read the descriptions.
"Small human child," said Mewtwo. "I'm sick and tired of talking like this: LOLOLZ!11111 LETS GO TEH NESS11111 U CEN OPEN TEH LETTER111. We're going to win this thing, because the only other threat to us is Samus and Zelda. Why are we letting the two things distracted by food beat us?"
"Okay, you're serious," said Ness.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Well, it's 12:15," said Bowser. "And if we want to not get eliminated, one of these teams have to stay behind!"
"Vote for Bowser! He's like a donkey! And I had a silver penny once, and it turned into a dishwasher delivered by a stork! Hooray! I can do exercises with my v-" said Peach.

Nana and Popo
Hole fifteen: Try 2
"-ermin Popo, you're vermin! You're ugly as vermin! You're disgusting and you shower monthly! You're a girl that thinks her brother is a slave dog, and you've got some twisted mind!" said Nana.
"Wait, didn't you just describe yourself?" asked Popo.
"SILENCE, INFERIOR SLAVE DOG?" screamed Nana.

Falcon and DK
Hole fifteen: Try 1
"Come on, DK!" said Falcon. "Putt this in, and we finish!"
Donkey Kong did a slow putt, hitting it into the hole.
"Yes!" said Falcon.
Falcon and Donkey Kong ran to the shuttle, which was leaving.
"Let's catch it!" said Donkey Kong.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Go go go!" screamed Bowser.

Falcon and DK
Currently in 6th Place
"I can't believe it," said Donkey Kong. "Bowser didn't let us on!"

Shuttle Three
12:30 PM

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Yes," said Bowser, shaking his fist in triumph.

12:30 PM
1st Shuttle to Space Station arrives
Samus and Zelda sprinted off the bus, found the clue, and started to read it, before being crowded by Link and Jigglypuff.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"You must now run…" said Link.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 2nd Place
"…this 6km cross country track…" read Zelda.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place
"…and collect six types of fruit, and bring it to the pit stop, where you may check in…" read Kirby.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"..warning, yield ahead!" said Link.
"Let's go!" said Link.
Link dragged Jigglypuff along, and started running the track.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
".mk1 og ylno dna tfel nruT !tuctrohs a si ereht ,kram mk3 eht ta ihsoY dna ybriK" sung Kirby.

Ness and Mewtwo
Serves: 9
Mewtwo smashed it down, but served too wide.
"Fault!" said the Shy Guy.
Mewtwo served it down the line, making the ball go at 152km/h.
Ness and Mewtwo
Completed Detour
"Let's catch up!" said Ness.
"See when the expert does it, he does it good?" asked Mewtwo.

Falcon and DK
Currently in 6th Place
Nana and Popo walked up.
"Hey Falcon, I thought you finished ages ago!" said Popo.
"Yeah, Bowser made the shuttle leave without us," said Falcon.
"Dang," said Popo, winking to Nana. "I really care, wink wink."

Link and Jigglypuff
900 metres
"There's the nine-hundred metres mark!" said Link.
Link and Jigglypuff sprinted another hundred metres, and then collected a fruit.
"Jig Ig iggy?" asked Jigglypuff. "What fruit should we get?"
"Get a grape, we'll carry the small fruits first!" said Link.

Kirby and Yoshi
800 metres
"Look, there's the 900 metre mark!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi hurr!" said Yoshi. "And there's Link and Jigglypuff!"
Kirby, with his I-Pad, and Yoshi ran up to the 1km sign, and picked a fruit.
"Yoshi hup!" said Yoshi. "I'll give you a mandarin, because you don't know how to peel it!"
"So I can't eat it?" asked Kirby.
"Yoshi hup yay up Yoshi hup," said Yoshi. "Exactly."

Samus and Zelda
600 metres
"Pace yourself, Zelda. They'll tire out, and we'll take over them eventually," said Samus.

2nd shuttle to Space Station
12:50 AM

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Not a sign of anyone!" said Ness.

Kirby and Yoshi
2.9 km
"There's the 3km mark!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi hup yay yarr Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Here, carry a pineapple."
Kirby picked up the pineapple, and the pineapple pierced his I-Pad™.
"Aah!" cried Kirby. "My I-Pad is broken!"
"Yoshi herr?" asked Yoshi. "What happeed?"
"It's playing backwards!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi," said Yoshi. "Let's hear!"
Yoshi took a headphone and listened.

Link and Jigglypuff
2.9 km
"Jig Ig Iggly Piggly Ig Puh!" said Jigglypuff. "Look, there's Kirby and Yoshi! Let's take over them!"
Link grabbed an orange, and ran off.

Samus and Zelda
2.9 km
"Look, they're there already!" said Samus. "They're already tired!"

Kirby and Yoshi
3km
Yoshi listened intently to Kirby's song, which was running backwards.
"Kirby and Yoshi at the 3km mark, there is a shortcut! Turn left and only go 1km!"
"Yoshi eye!" said Yoshi. "You're right, it's playing backwards! Hey… I have this sudden urge to turn left, instead of right…"
"I know what you mean!" said Kirby.
Kirby picked up another three fruits, and turned left.

Link and Jigglypuff
5km
"Quickly!" said Link. "Run!"
Jigglypuff staggered, and tried to keep on running.
"One more k!" said Link, picking up a watermelon.

Samus and Zelda
4.8km
"Let's start sprinting!" said Samus.
Samus and Zelda broke into run, Zelda stuffed the fruit into her pocket.

Kirby and Yoshi
600m of shortcut
"Come on!" said Kirby.
"Hup Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "I could if I weren't holding 3 kilos of fruit!"

Link and Jigglypuff
5.6km
"Yield!" said Link.

"Yield!" said Master Hand. "A Yield is to delay a team for a pre-determined amount of time! Teams can only use it once in a race, so teams have to choose when it's the most important time!"

"Ig Jig Jiggly?" asked Jigglypuff. "Who do we yield?"
"Uh," said Link. "I want to yield DK for stealing my girl!"
"Ig puggly!" said Jigglypuff. "But they're gonna come 2nd Last anyway!"
"True," said Link. "We're going to yield Samus and Zelda."

Samus and Zelda
5.3km
"Sprint!" said Samus.
Samus and Zelda ran up to the yield sign.
"Samus and Zelda, courtesy of Link and Jigglypuff…" read Zelda.
"I hate you, you cheating bites!" said Samus.

Nana and Popo
"I resent that comment," said Nana. "We do not cheat!"
"What the heck does this have to do with anything?" said Popo.
"Quiet, slave dog," said Nana.

Link and Jigglypuff
5.8km
"200 more metres!" said Link.
Link and Jigglypuff saw Master Hand ahead, before being blocked by Kirby and Yoshi.
"Hey!" said Link. "You can't steal our win!"
"Make us," said Kirby, poking his tongue out.
"Jig Iggly Wig hig?" asked Jigglypuff. "Hey, isn't that the Ice Cream man?"
Kirby and Yoshi looked around. Link and Jigglypuff stepped on the mat,
"Link and Jigglypuff, you are team number one!" said Master Hand. "And for being the winners of this leg of the race, you win 5000 dollars!"
Jigglypuff and Link did a hi-5.
"That was such a close call, Jig's so mean," said Link on a voiceover.
"Thanks for the fruits," said Master Hand.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Hey!" said Kirby. "Link and Jigglypuff tricked us!"
"Kirby and Yoshi, you are team number two!" said Master Hand. "That was a dirty trick, eh?"
"Yes," said Kirby.
"I'm gonna get revenge on them somehow, in some way," said Kirby. "It's not fair."

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 3rd Place
Samus and Zelda ran after being yielded, and ran to the world map.
"Samus and Zelda, you are team number three!" said Master Hand.
"I can't believe Link yielded us!" said Zelda.
"They came first," said Master Hand.

1:10
3rd Shuttle Arrives

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Heh," said Peach. "Let's do tennis, because I'm a tennis racquet!"

1:30 PM
4th Shuttle Departs
"This will be close," said Popo.
"Yeah," said Falcon.
"You realise now," said DK to everyone in the shuttle. "We're the last two teams left, and once we get off this bus, we're going to have to race against each other, and one of us will be eliminated?"

1:30 PM
2nd Shuttle to Space Station Arrives

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Let's go," said Ness. "We've got to finish as early as possible."

1:50 PM

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Don't leave without us!" said Bowser.
The shuttle sped away, leaving Peach and Bowser behind.
"Damn it," said Bowser. "The next shuttle leaves at 2:20."

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Look, there's Master Hand!" said Ness.
"Good!" said Mewtwo.
"Ness and Mewtwo, you are team number four!" said Master Hand.
"Are you serious?" asked Ness.
"Yep," said Master Hand.
"That's great," said Mewtwo.

2:10PM

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Here come the others!" said Bowser.
"Hey, when does the next bus leave?" asked Popo.
"TEN MINUTES!" said Bowser.

Falcon and DK
Serves: 0
"Let's do this!" said Falcon.
Falcon hit the ball, and served it in.
"102 km/h," said Falcon.
"Here, lemme try," said Donkey Kong.
Donkey Kong smashed the ball down, but missed the court. DK tried again, but served at 128km/h.

Nana and Popo
Serves: 0
"Nana, I don't need help!" said Popo. "I play tennis when I'm not playing golf!"
Popo smacked the ball at 160 km/h.
"Good, eh?" asked Popo.
"No!" said Nana.

2:20 PM
3rd Shuttle Leaves for Space Station
"No one else!" said Bowser.
"Good!" said Peach.

Falcon and DK
Serves: 2
"Go DK!" said Falcon, as Donkey Kong smashed down an ace at 180 km/h.

Nana and Popo
Serves: 3
"Nana, you've got one in, just do the same thing!" said Nana.
Nana smashed it down for 180 km/h.
"Yeah!" said Popo.

Falcon and DK
Serves: 5
"Go!" said DK.
Falcon faulted the ball, but then got back up on his feet, and did a good serve for 138 km/h.

Nana and Popo
Serves: 6
Nana served the ball down fast, but it wasn't fast enough, making the serves reset!
"Damn!" said Nana.

Falcon and DK
Serves: 7
"Dang!" said Falcon, double faulting the ball.
"Is that a reset?" asked Donkey Kong.
"Yes," said the Shy Guy.

3:00 PM
3rd Shuttle Arrives

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Let's kill this track!" said Peach.
"Yeah," said Bowser.

Nana and Popo
Serves: 3
"Take it slowly," said Nana. "We can slowly do it."
"Yeah," said Popo. "This is the first time we've co-operated since the start of the race!"
"LEG TWO!" screamed Nana.
"Whatever," said Popo.

3:20 PM

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"We made it!" said Peach.
"Peach and Bowser, you are team number five!" said Master Hand.
"We've got some ground to catch up, after we missed the bus," said Bowser.

Nana and Popo
Serves: 9
"Come on Popo! The next bus is in ten minutes!" said Nana.
Popo smashed the ball at 202km/h.
"Great!" said Nana, clapping her hands.

Falcon and DK
Serves: 9
"Damn," said Falcon.
"Falcon, get this in, and we can make their bus!" said DK.
Falcon smashed it at 150 km/h exactly, to get them on the bus.

4:10 PM
4th Bus Arrives
"Hey Kirby!" said DK. "What are we supposed to do?"
"Run the track!" said Kirby. "And collect fruit!"
"Chase them!" said Nana, running after them.

4:30 PM
Master Hand sat at the pit stop waiting.

Falcon and DK
5.9km
"SPRINT!" screamed Donkey Kong.
Nana jumped up and bit DK's arm, but Falcon threw Nana and Popo away. Nana and Popo sprinted back, but Donkey Kong managed to get his finger on the world map!
"Falcon and Donkey Kong, you are team number six, which makes you, Nana and Popo the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you guys, you've both been eliminated from the race. I'm sorry to see you go," said Master Hand.
"Yeah," said Nana. "We actually started to work together this leg, and if we started earlier, we could've actually won!"
"From the start of the leg, anyone could be eliminated," said Popo. "But it was our bad luck this time."

$#&Finish Times&#$
Link and Jigglypuff: 12:57 PM
Kirby and Yoshi: 12:58 PM
Samus and Zelda: 1:00 PM
Ness and Mewtwo: 1:54 PM
Peach and Bowser: 3:20 PM
Falcon and DK: 4:31 PM
Nana and Popo- 4:31 PM- ELIMINATED

Pleas R/R and tell us who you want to win, and think will win!