A Smashy Amazing Race

by Hoogiman

COMPLETE! With all teams neckandneck, quick fire from Falcon and Donkey Kong takes them to the lead. However, Peach and Bowser manage to creep to second place, and with a dead heat at the last clue, it will be closer than ever. Who will win?

8. Leg Eight: Sector X

"Last time, on a Smashy Amazing Race, teams went to Yoshi's Island!" said Master Hand. "Seven teams departed at the same time! Some teams struggled playing golf, and aggression in and between teams caused grudges! Bowser managed to secure a place in this leg, by making the bus leave without Falcon and Donkey Kong! Link and Jigglypuff yielded Samus and Zelda, and tricked Kirby and Yoshi so that they would finish first in the leg! But the constant arguing between Nana and Popo, made them eliminated! Will Peach and Bowser and Link and Jigglypuff's sneaky strategies pay off? Will uncos Falcon and Donkey Kong beat the odds and stay in the race? Now only six teams remain, who will be eliminated next?"

The Teams:

Link and Jigglypuff (To Kill a Mockingbird)
Kirby and Yoshi (Culinary delights: The 2005 Food Model Edition!)
Peach and Bowser (Charlotte's Web)
Ness and Mewtwo (Einstein's theory of relativity: Made Complicated)
Samus and Zelda (You want to know our favourite book? I'll favourite book you! Take th-)
Falcon and DK (How to impress your man… I mean… How to get guys all over you… I mean… Uh… Hot Babes! Yeah! Hot Babes!)

LEG EIGHT

"Link and Jigglypuff arrived at 12:57PM (after noon), they will depart at 12:57AM!"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
Link opened the envelope.
"You must take a spaceship to Sector X!" read Link.

"Teams must now walk three hundred metres to Birdo's Space Station, take a spacecraft to Sector X, and drive to this spaceship dock!" said Master Hand.

"We're not nice anymore," said Link. "We're going for the million dollars, and we're gonna do whatever it takes. We're not trying to stay in, now that we're coming first, we're trying to win!"
"Ig Jig, Puh Jig Wig Iggly Jig Ig!" said Jigglypuff. "I think our biggest threat is Samus and Zelda, and I think that if there's one team that would eliminate us, it would be them!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Departed at 12:58PM
"You must now take a spaceship to Sector X, where you must drive to Peppy's spaceship dock!" read Kirby.
"Yoshi! Hup herr!" said Yoshi. "Hey! Let's wait for Samus and Zelda."

Samus and Zelda
Departed at 1:00PM
"You must now take a spaceship to Sector X, where you must…" read Zelda.
"Woo! Space, here we come!" said Samus.
"…drive to Peppy's spaceship dock!"
Samus and Zelda walked along to find Kirby and Yoshi.
"Hey guys!" said Kirby.
"Hey," said Zelda.
"Listen up," said Samus. "We have to take Link and Jigglypuff out of the race soon, because they are a giant pain in the back, and we're going to have to stop them, and keep them from winning the race!"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"You know what, Jig," said Link. "I think all of the teams love us…"

Kirby and Yoshi
Samus and Zelda
"You know what, all of the teams absolutely hate Link and Jigglypuff's guts in this race," said Samus.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 2nd Place
"And they're going to do nothing about us, and won't stand in the way!" said Link.

Kirby and Yoshi
Samus and Zelda
"Until they are eliminated, we are going to take every precaution to stand in their way, and take every chance to get 'em and hit hard," said Samus.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"I think we've made an impression so good that everybody likes us," said Link.

Kirby and Yoshi
Samus and Zelda
"I think they've already made an impression so that everybody hates them," said Kirby.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"Jig Iggly Ig?" asked Jigglypuff. "Do you think we're wrong?"

Kirby and Yoshi
Samus and Zelda
"Do you think we're wrong?" asked Zelda.

Sonic
"DO YU THINK THET EYE LEIK MILCK!111"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"Naah," said Link.

Samus and Zelda
Kirby and Yoshi
"Yoshi…" said Yoshi. "Naah…"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 1st Place
"Jig Ig, Iggly Ig!" said Jigglypuff. "Hey look, it's the space station!"
Link and Jigglypuff ran into the giant building, looked around, and then found a bookings desk. Link walked up to a Koopa who was at the bookings desk.
"Hi, can I have a flight to Sector X?" asked Link.
"Yes, it leaves 1:30," said the Koopa.
"Damn," said Link. "That means Kirby and Yoshi and Samus and Zelda catch up to us!"
"Actually, it's boarding right now," said the Koopa.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Hi, can I have two tickets to Sector X?" asked Kirby.
"Yes, there are four seats left," said the Koopa.
"In that case, can you get four?" asked Kirby.
"Sure," said the Koopa.
"Yoshi, hur Yoshi?" asked Yoshi. "Are you sure you want to get tickets for Samus and Zelda?"
"It will pay off," said Kirby.
The Koopa handed over the tickets, and Kirby waited for Samus and Zelda.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 3rd Place
"Hey Samus," said Kirby. "Here are your tickets!"
"Thanks," said Zelda.
"Wow, we just made it, final call," said Samus.

Lindsay
"How about, you made it, the final call?" asked Lindsay.

1st flight to Sector X
1:30 AM
"Kirby and Yoshi, and Link and Jigglypuff are on this flight," said Zelda.

Ness and Mewtwo
Departed at 1:54 AM
"You know," said Ness, taking a clue. "At the start, we were winning, winning, winning, but now we're near the back of the pack, with Peach and Bowser and Falcon and Donkey Kong. And really, we're supposed to be at the front, I mean, how did Link and Jigglypuff win the last leg? They're so stupid!"
"I don't think you should underestimate them," said Mewtwo.

Link and Jigglypuff
"IG JIGG IGG JIGGG?" asked Jigglypuff? "HEI! IS THET SCREEN IN FRUNT OF ME EDIBALL?111111111!1111111"
"EY DON'T NOH! LETZ USE MOIY SPOON TO GHET IT OOUTT!11" said Link.
"HEEY!1111" said Crazy Hand. "ONLEY EYE EM SUPPOSED 2 USE 111s AT THE END OF MY SHENTENCES!11111111111"

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Hi, when's the next flight to Sector X?" asked Ness.
"Uh… at 5:00AM," said the Koopa ticket salesman.
"Aargh," said Ness. "That means that all of the other teams will catch up to us!"

Peach and Bowser
Departed at 3:20 AM
"Peach, we're second last, so I want you to be on your best behaviour. Now, as long as we follow this path, we'll go to this space station? Understand?" asked Bowser.
Peach nodded, understanding.
"So when we… Peach? What are you doing on top of that tree… Without your clothes on?" asked Bowser.
"My eyelids were cold!" said Peach.
"You stupid woman!" shouted Bowser.

Ted
"Frankly, I disagree with that statement!" said Ted.

"Who the f& is Ted?" asked Bowser.

Lindsay
"Frankly, I disagree with that statement!" said Lindsay.

"Peach, did you gas me again?" asked Bowser.
"Well, you see…" said Peach.
But sadly, just as Peach was about to give her explanation, the rofl pony took Peach away, and bathed her in the waters of hope.

1st Flight Arrives
4:00 AM

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
"Run!" said Zelda.
Samus and Zelda rushed out of the plane, and ran out to the taxi ranks. Samus put up her hand. A taxi pulled up.
"Hi, girls!" said Marth, evilly.
"Didn't you die when the elephants from the circus ran over you?" asked Zelda.
"Oh yeah," said Marth.
Marth died.Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Hey look, Yoshi!" said Kirby, pointing to a gift shop. "A magic 8 ball!"
"Yoshi, hur Yoshi up!" said Yoshi. "Kirby, there is no way you are buying that, no way!"
"Pardon?" asked Kirby, holding the magic 8 ball which he just bought.
"Yoshi! Hup her Yoshi!" said Yoshi, furiously. "Kirby! You just wasted most of our leg money! How much money do we have left?"
"Eleven dollars," said Kirby, happily.
"Yoshi, hup Yoshi er Yoshi!" said Yoshi sarcastically, waving his arms. "Okay, now waste the rest of our money on a robot that can identify butter and has an in-built microphone!"
"Pardon?" asked Kirby, holding the robot that could identify butter and had an in-built microphone.
"Yoshi up!" said Yoshi, angrily. "You stupid midget!"

Lindsay
"I disagree with that politically incorrect statement. The correct way of saying it is: You stupid vertically-challenged person!" said Lindsay.

"Yoshi hurr!" screamed Yoshi, angrily. "I don't need correction!"
"Does Yoshi need correction?" asked Kirby, shaking the magic 8 ball.
Kirby looked at it. Yes.
"Yoshi!" said Yoshi, very angrily. "And not from a magic 8 ball, or a robot that can identify butter!"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place
"Jigglypuff, get out of the seat!" said Link, dragging Jigglypuff, who was holding on to the arm rest.
"Jig Iggly Ig Ig Ug Iggly!" said Jigglypuff. "But Link, I want to fill in the puzzles! I want to help Lon Lon the Milk Cow™ get back to the paddock!"
"Jigglypuff, Lon Lon the milk cow is not real!" said Link.
"Jig Ig Iggly, Jig Ig Iggly!" cried Jigglypuff. "Yes he is, yes he is!"
"He's just a cartoon character!" said Link.
"Jiiiiig!" screamed Jigglypuff. "Nooooo!"
Jigglypuff turned the page of the book.
"Jig Iggly Ig Ig Uggly Iggly!" said Jigglypuff. "I want to find the secret message in this word find, so Clucky the Chicken, can find her chicks!"
Link sighed.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
Donkey Kong ripped opened the envelope.
"You must now take a spaceship to Sector X, where you must drive to Peppy's spaceship dock!" read DK.
"Me and DK have just stayed in this race, but I reckon if we can stay in until the final leg, then we can go all aggro," said Falcon. "We're lucky enough to stay this far, but I bet we can come back from nowhere!"

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Oh great, it's Peach and Bowser," said Ness.
"Hey guys!" said Peach.
"Peach, remember, when you're talking to other people, remember to speak loud, and look at them…" whispered Bowser. "…so when you…"
Bowser looked up.
"Peach, get off that model airplane!" said Bowser.
"Yay!" said Peach, sitting on the model airplane which was being held up by wires on the ceiling. "I'm going to the zoo!"

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
"Here it is," said Samus, jumping out of the taxi.
Zelda ran up to a sign outside the spaceship dock.
"What? Opens at 9:00 AM?" asked Zelda.
"Damn," said Samus.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Yoshi hup?" asked Yoshi. "Now, how are we going to get money?"
Kirby turned on the butter identifying robot with an in-built mic.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd Place
"Jigglypuff, you've done all of the puzzles, and coloured in every space of white on the colouring pages!" said Link. "Can we go now?"
"Jig," said Jigglypuff. "Okay."
Link put Jigglypuff into his hands, when suddenly, a loud, high pitched screeching noise pushed them to the back of the spaceship.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 2nd Place
"Here," said a Koopa, covering his ears. "I'll pay you a million dollars to stop!"
"No, I'll pay you two million dollars to stop!" said a Koopa.
"Yoshi," said Yoshi. "Good, take their offer."
Kirby ate the Koopa.
"WTF? Get the money!" said Yoshi, completely out of character.
"Oh," said Kirby.
Kirby took the Koopas out, and grabbed their money.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"It's 4:50," said Mewtwo. "And the flight's boarding."
"As long as we board without Falcon and DK coming into the station, we should be fine," said Ness.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Here's the space station!" said Falcon.
Falcon and Donkey Kong walked in, spotting Ness and Mewtwo, and Peach and Bowser.
"Well, if it isn't the nerds?" asked Falcon, laughing.
Falcon and DK walked up to the check-in desk.
"Hi, when's the next flight to Sector X?" asked DK.
"Uh," said the Koopa, who was typing on his computer. "The next flight is at 6:30 AM!"
Falcon grabbed the tickets, and walked over to Ness and Mewtwo.
"Hey, when's your flight?" asked Falcon.
"5:00 AM, it's boarding right now," said Ness.
"Damn," said Falcon. "This could be the end of us!"

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 1st Place
"Here's Kirby and Yoshi!" said Samus.
Kirby paid the taxi driver, and walked out of the taxi.
"There has to be a way to eliminate Link and Jigglypuff," said Kirby.
"Let's think," said Samus.
Everybody thought about that for a while.
"Colouring book… must… have… colouring book…" said Kirby. "Have… the sudden… urge… to colour things…"
"Yoshi yosh Yoshi!" "Pay attention, Kirby!"
"Aw…" said Kirby. "But I'm pink and cute and puffy! It's like it forces me to want to colour!"
"Hey…" said Zelda.
"I'm on it," said Samus. "Hello? Yes, I'd like a couple thousand colouri- yes, I know they're dangerous… no, it's not for children… yes, I mean to profit from this… legal problems? Uh… uh… SMITE YOU!" Samus fired a couple of missiles at the phone.
Yoshi, meanwhile, was hitting Kirby with a plank of wood. "Yoshi…" "It worked before…"
Kirby choked, then literally coughed up a few hundred colouring books.
"Okay," said Samus. "Zelda, Kirby, you stand in line; we'll be back. Yoshi and I will try to distract Jigglypuff, and hence Link too. Yoshi, do you know where the nearest electric field is?"
Yoshi nodded, smiling. There was nothing bad about being on the aggros' side.
"Oh, and if you think we're aggro, I'll kill you," said Samus.
"Ararararararar…"

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 3rd place
"Jigglypuff, if you stop acting so stupid, we can seriously win this thing!" said Link. "The aggro chicks; and the two little eaters? If it wasn't for you and your word puzzles, we'd be light-years ahead of them by now!"
"Jig iggly ig pig jig!" "It was not a word puzzle! It was a word riddle!"

"Oh, sorry," said Link. "I'm so sorry that I've made your word riddle unhappy."
"Jig jig?" "See? He cares," said Jigglypuff, patting the word riddle.
"I feel so much better now," said the word riddle.
"Sssh," said Jigglypuff, worried that Link would overhear them.
Jigglypuff walked around a bit, and then saw a colouring book on the ground.
"Daaghaahaa!" said Jigglypuff, screaming in excitement, clapping.
Jigglypuff took the colouring book, scribbled on a few pages, and then hugged it.
"Great," said Link. "Now can we go to the shuttle depot, which is right there?"
Jigglypuff shook her head, smiling.
"Oh, so you'd rather help clucky the chicken colour in her chicks to get colour than win a million dollars?" asked Link, sarcastically.
Jigglypuff nodded, smiling.
"THEN WALK OFF, AND LEAVE ME!" said Link, angrily.
Jigglypuff walked up and left Link.
"COME BACK HERE! THAT WAS SARCASM, YOU STUPID POKEMON!" screamed Link.
Jigglypuff walked back happily, then walked up to Link, and started crying.
"Oh, there there," said Link, hugging Jigglypuff. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
Jigglypuff nodded her head, and then ran off to the trail of colouring books.
Link roared in frustration, and gave chase.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Okay," said Falcon. "Here's our flight. You know, if it weren't for Donkey Kong, we could've caught the earlier flight!"
"What do you mean?" asked Donkey Kong, pointing his finger. "I was the one that was trying to get you to sprint, and stop applying your make up and lipstick!"
"Well, I'm sorry!" said Falcon, stepping onto a plane. "Why don't you go off to your perfect women?"
"Well, Falcon, I'm not CENSORED," said Donkey Kong.
Roy ran into the plane, and sat next to Falcon and DK.
"Hey Falcon, want to CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED?" asked Roy.
"But Roy, I'm trying to maintain a good image for the children!" said Falcon, smiling. "After all, everyone wants me to win!"
Some tumbleweed rolled in front of the camera.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
Toad angrily threw a tomato at Falcon.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
Daisy ran in, and hit Falcon with a shovel.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
All of the Onett Children's Choir members started simultaneously coughing.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
Everyone in the plane started suffocating from coughing too much.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
The wings of the plane started disintegrating.
"Everyone wants me to win!"
Roy started to melt.
"Everyone wants me to win?"
Peach ran into the plane without her clothes on, and shoved her laptop into Falcon's mouth WITH THE VIEWERMAIL AND MINESWEEPER PROGRAMS STILL OPEN!

"Uh… right…" said Master Hand. "Ness and Mewtwo, and Peach and Bowser are on the 5:00 AM flight to Sector X that arrives at 7:30 AM, and Falcon and Donkey Kong are on the 6:30 AM flight that arrives at 9:00 AM. All the other teams are already in Sector X."

7:30 AM
2nd Space Shuttle Arrives

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"Come on, let's go! You're not going to be the rofl pony forever," said Ness, hopping into a taxi.
"I think that we can do way better, I mean, we can be beating Link and Jigglypuff," said Mewtwo. "That would land us third."
"Link is the stupid short pony, and Link's the smart bean," said Ness, angrily.
"Stupid child, have you had too much whisky?" asked Mewtwo.
"No, zoo-laced laptop," said Ness.
"Well, you are talking as if you were Peach," said Mewtwo.
"Well I think they're all stupid!" said Ness, angrily.
"Link and Jigglypuff are not stupid!" said Mewtwo, angrily. "Don't underestimate them!"

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"Peach, keep on drinking the whisky," said Bowser.
"Hehehe, whisky makes me talk normal!" said Peach, drinking some whisky.
"Peach, when you are out in public-" said Bowser.
Bowser blinked.
"Peach! What are you doing on that conveyor belt? Without your clothes on?" asked Bowser.
"I could be hand luggage!" said Peach, giggling.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 4th Place
"What time does it open?" asked Ness.
"9:00 AM, we still have 45 minutes to wait," said Mewtwo.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"What time does it open?" asked Peach.
"Can't you read it yourself?" asked Bowser.
"Okay…" said Peach, putting her glasses on.
"Hey Peach, you don't wear glasses! Did you take it from someone?" asked Bowser.
"Oh, I'm sure whoever has them will be fine!" said Peach, happily.

Meanwhile… in Mushroom Kingdom…
"Luigi!" said Mario, panicking. "My hands have been tied behind my back-a, so you have to do it!"
"Okay!" said Luigi, nervously.
"Press the button that says 'no explosion' on it!" said Mario.
"But there are two buttons!" said Luigi, sweating. "What does the other one do-a? I can't tell them apart without-a my glasses!"
"The other one says 'explosion' on it! That button will explode all of Mushroom Kingdom!" said Mario, trying to stay calm.
"Okay, this one has a red mark beside it," said Luigi. "So I'm guessing that the red mark says no!"
"Quickly, Luigi!" said Mario, looking at his watch alarmingly. "Press the button! We have ten seconds!"
"But-a Mario, if your hands are tied behind your back-a, how can you look at your watch?" asked Luigi, quickly.
"Don't worry about the plot inconsistencies!" said Mario. "Press the button!"
Luigi pressed the button.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 5th Place
"By the way," said Peach. "What happened to the last of my lipstick?"
"I think when we were in Mushroom Kingdom, I smeared it on a random button," said Bowser, shrugging. "I think the button had something to do with explosions."
"Explosions?" asked Peach.
"Explosions," said Bowser.
"Explosions?" asked Peach.
"Explosions," said Bowser.
"Explosions?"
"Explosions."
"Explosions?"
"Explosions."
HINT! HINT!

Lindsay
"Hint."

9:00 AM
Last Flight Arrives

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"It's 9:00 AM," said Falcon. "I just hope there is a delay, like something opening, delaying time."

9:02 AM
Peppy's Spaceship Dock Opens

"Teams must now search this spaceship dock for a clue box, where they will receive their next clue," said Master Hand.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"This is really wide open," said Kirby. "It could be anywhere!"
"Yoshi hurr up Yoshi," said Yoshi. "Search here first, it could be very close!"

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 2nd Place
"Where the heck is this thing?" asked Samus, looking around.
"We'll need dumb luck to find this," said Zelda, searching.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 3rd Place
"Where's the clue?" asked Ness.

Rofl Pony
"It's about a kilometre north."

Ness and Mewtwo followed the rofl pony's lead.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 4th Place
"See Bowser? I stuck with the rofl pony, and he gave me stuff in return!" said Peach, happily.
"But Peach, The rofl pony help Marth and Roy censored censored censored you!"
"Well, I still have my clothes!" said Peach, happily.
"Peach, I don't think Fox will appreciate you rubbing your body against his ship, naked," said Bowser.
"Hehehe! Hand-rolled staccato bun!" said Peach, cheerily.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place
"Jig… Ig… Ig… Iggly… Ig… Jiggly…" said Jigglypuff, desperately. "Must… follow… colouring books… to… Saffron… City…"

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Magic 8 Ball, will you help us find the clue?" asked Kirby.
"Yoshi, hur up Yoshi hurr!" said Yoshi, angrily. "A Magic 8 Ball is not going to help us win!"
Kirby looked at the Magic 8 ball.
"It says yes," said Kirby, happily.
"Yoshi, up herr Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "Kirby, it is not going to work, look!"
Yoshi grabbed the ball angrily.
"Yoshi hurr hup?" asked Yoshi, angrily. "Is the Magic 8 Ball going to help us win?"
Yoshi shook the ball furiously, and then looked at it. It said Yes.
"Yoshi hurr hup?" asked Yoshi, angrily. "Is the Magic 8 Ball going to help us win?"
Yoshi shook the ball again. Same answer.
"Yoshi hurr hup?" asked Yoshi, angrily. "Is the Magic 8 Ball going to help us win?"
Yoshi shook the ball again. Same answer.
"Yoshi hurr hup?" asked Yoshi, angrily. "Is the Magic 8 Ball going to help us win?"
"I don't know, but I am certainly having a jolly good time with the rofl pony," said Lindsay, clanking his tea cup with the rofl pony's.
"Cheers," said the rofl pony, who then looked at Kirby and Yoshi. "Here's your clue!"
The Rofl Pony handed the clue to Kirby and Yoshi.
"I love things that make no sense!" said Kirby, cheerfully.
Yoshi groaned.
"Want a cupcake?" said Kirby.
That made Yoshi feel better, until the Rofl Pony stepped on Yoshi on the way out.
"Road Block!" said Kirby, happily.

"Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one team member can perform!" said Master Hand. "In this task, teams must use clues to navigate their way around this giant crater in a space shuttle, and then when the team member doing it thinks they have got to the spot that the clue showed them to, they must then land, and dig for the next clue. However, the clue that they will find will not end the Road Block, they must go through six clues until the pit contains the next clue.
This task may seem hard, but with a good sense of direction, teams may be able to do this task relatively quickly! Teams that do not dig for all six clues will be required to do this task again."

"Yoshi, hup Yoshi!" said Yoshi. "I'm the smart one here, I better do it!"
"Well Yoshi, I think I should do it, because I have spaceship experience!" said Kirby, proudly.
"Yoshi, up herr Yoshi hurr up!" said Yoshi. "Really? Have you navigated and controlled a spaceship before?"
"Well, I've been on a warp star, which does all of the driving and navigation for me…" said Kirby.
Yoshi started crying.

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 2nd Place
"Road Block…" read Bowser. "It involves navigating, and using a spaceship."
"I'm really good at it!" said Peach, putting her hand up. "After all, I'm the tomboy bounty hunter with a toaster in my helmet!"
Peach giggled.
"Well Peach," said Bowser.
Bowser looked up.
"Peach! Don't go to that Road Block!" said Bowser.
"But I can't!" said Peach, crying while walking towards the Road Block. "My legs keep on moving!"
"Wait!" said Bowser, running, trying to stop Peach.
A cage landed on Bowser, Kirby walked over, dragging Yoshi, and then stuffed him in the cage.
"Hi Bowser!" said Kirby. "You can baby sit Yoshi now!"
Kirby walked away, and Yoshi looked nervously at Bowser.
Bowser accidentally coughed, breathing out fire on Yoshi.
"Ararararara…" said Yoshi.

Peach
"Hi Peach!" said Daisy, leaning on a bunch of helmets. "I'm helping you get ready for the road block!"
"Daisy," said Peach, dumbly. "Why are you in space?"
Peach stared at Daisy, while intimidating her in the process.
"Daisy, why are you working here?" asked Peach.
"To get my tennis racquet back," said Daisy. "And blunder all chances of you winning a million dollars!"
"I don't eat mashed brass instruments for nothing, mother!" said Peach, angrily.
Dais
y sighed, and then thought.
"Peach," said Daisy, menacingly. "Do you want to fly in the high-tech spaceship that requires someone with an IQ over 20 to operate, or go in that, old, rusty go kart?"
"Go Kart!" said Peach, laughing, clapping her hands.
"Go Kart!" said Peach, happily.
Peach did a twirl.
"Go Kart!" said Peach.
Peach did a twirl.
"Go Kart!" said Peach.
Peach started to melt.
"Go Kart!" said Peach.
Peach kept on melting.
"How come I have terrible descriptions after my dialogue?" asked Peach.
"It's because your skin colour is different," said the rofl pony.
"Oh yeah," said Peach. "That explains why Slippy is nailed to my back!"
Peach turned around, and showed a dead frog attached to her back.
Daisy walked off into another room, and then came back with the go kart.

Kirby
Clues: 0
"Cool, a spaceship!" said Kirby, observing the inside of a spaceship.
Kirby looked around a bit.
"What does this button do?" asked Kirby.
Kirby pressed a button.
Suddenly, the whole spaceship moved parts, and transformed into the shape of a standing human.
"Whoops?" said Kirby.

Peach
Clues: 0
"My go kart is better than a spaceship!" said Peach, happily, driving at about three metres a second.
Peach's go kart stumbled down a steep edge into the crater.
"Mine also doesn't defy gravity!" said Peach, giggling. "Unorthodox bean measurers!"

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 3rd Place
Mewtwo tapped on Ness's shoulder, and pointed at the clue box. Ness walked up, and read the clue.
"Okay!" said Ness, looking at the clue. "I'll do it!"
"Damn rofl pony," said Mewtwo, angrily. "Has to ruin my chances."
"But Crazy Hand offered me a box of chocolates!" said the rofl pony.
"Riboflavin and Vitamin B helps me work!" said Crazy Hand.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 4th Place
"Look, a clue!" said Zelda.
"Okay," said Samus, reading. "I think we've got to ride a spaceship… I'll do it!"
Samus pressed a button on her suit, and a spaceship landed right next to her. Two Koopas, handcuffed to each other to their arms came out of the ship, looking horrified.
"M… M… Miss?" asked one of the Koopas. "Here's your ship!"
"Uh… Samus," said Zelda. "Are you taking them slaves?"
"Er…" said Samus, looking at the slave hats that the Koopas were wearing. "I think I hear some ads!"
Samus tried to grin, but her helmet got in the way, and made it look like a very evil look, kind of like… well… Nana.

Start Ad

"Hello, would you like to beat up a slave dog?" asked Nana. "Do you like to be cruel to animals? If you said yes or no, you want to go to the slave dog academy!"
Nana tried to grin, without looking evil.
"Here you can hit the slave dog, as shown!" said Nana.
Nana picked up a baseball bat, and hit Popo with it.
"You can kick the slave dog!" said Nana.
Nana kicked Popo.
"Slave dog!" said Nana, angrily.

End Ad

Kirby
Clues: 0
Kirby got out of his rental spaceship, and then looked around, and started digging for a few minutes.
"Darn, there's nothing here!" said Kirby.
Kirby dug a bit more with the shovel, and then hit something hard. He uncovered it, and then looked.
"Kirby, it's me!" said Fox.
"You know," said Kirby to himself, "I think I should cover this hole in…"
"Thank you! You've just saved me from death of suffocation! Thank you! I'll repay you in any way!" said Fox, thankfully. "I'm so eternally grateful to you for saving my life! I'm indebted; I'm-"
Kirby shook the magic 8-ball, saying, "should I pull Fox out?"
No, the magic 8-ball read.
"-so glad that you could help us, and so sorry for ever thinking badly of you, and-"
"So what do I do?" said Kirby, shaking the 8-ball again.
Please shake me again.
"Uh, okay. What do I do?"
Kill Fox.
"Oh, okay!" said Kirby.
"-please let me out, oh my saviour, I'm so cold, and- hey, what are you doing? I – but – why? What did I do to deserve this?"
Kirby filled the hole back up with dirt. "Uh… should I be feeling guilty about this?" he wondered. He shook the 8-ball.
No, because Fox doesn't believe in the rofl pony.
"Well, that's okay, then, I guess," said Kirby.

Peach
Clues: 0
"Wow! I found my first clue!" said Peach, looking at a clue she just dug.

Samus
Clues: 0
"Where is the first clue…" said Samus, to herself, looking around. "Peach?"

Peach
Clues: 1
"Yay!" said Peach, happily. "I got my first clue! On my go kart!"
"Go kart!"
Peach did a twirl on her go kart.
"Go kart!"
Peach did a twirl on her go kart.
"Shut up!" screamed Samus, shooting a heat-seeking guided missile at her.
"Ow…" said Peach, sadly. "My go kart capsized!"

9:30 AM

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Come on, go fast!" said Falcon.
"Okay," said Donkey Kong. "For our next task, I think we're going to fly a spaceship, or something."
"Well, in that case, I'll take my ship!" said Falcon, happily.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place
"Okay, Road Block…" said Link, reading. Link put the clue in his pocket and looked at Jigglypuff. "Someone has to fly a spaceship a…"
Link looked at Jigglypuff.
"Jig, don't play around with fire hydrants!" said Link, angrily.
"Jig, Ig Ig…" said Jigglypuff, with her eyes wide open. "But if I throw them away, I won't join the circus!"
"That's it!" said Link, very angrily. "I have a position of responsibility, and I will take that!"
Link knocked away the five fire hydrants in the air, and heard a huge denting sound.
"Oops…" said Link. "I think I just damaged some property…"
Link looked around nervously.
"Jig, you do it, and I'll bury it…" said Link, sweating. "Okay? And this never hap-"
Link looked at Jigglypuff, and then knocked another twelve out of the way.
"AAGH!" screamed Link.

Kirby
Clues: 5
"Now go 24km north-east," read Kirby.
Kirby looked nervously, and then looked at the magic 8 ball.
"Where is north east?" asked Kirby.
Kirby shook it. It slipped, landed on Peach's head, and gave her several concussions.
"That's okay…" said Peach, trying to re-assure. "My haphazard article of Samuel will do fine…"
"Now how will I find it?" asked Kirby.
Kirby looked at Samus' ship flying towards the final clue.
"Now how will I find it?" asked Kirby.
Kirby looked at Ness' ship flying towards the final clue.
"Now how will I find it?" asked Kirby.
Kirby looked at Peach's haphazard article of Samuel.
"What the?" said Kirby, puzzled.
Kirby walked back into his ship, and kept on going.

Ness
Clues: 5
Ness ran out of the ship, and started digging furiously in a giant pit, before being joined by Samus and Kirby.

Kirby
Finished Road Block
Kirby pulled out a clue and looked.
"Detour!" said Kirby.

"Detour!" said Master Hand. "In detours, teams must choose between two tasks! In this detour… Destroy or Deploy!
"In Destroy, teams must get into one of these ships, the type that Fox flies, and then fly it out into an enclosed area. Once there, teams must stay stationery, and shoot down ten moving targets. Once they have done that, teams will receive their next clue! This seems easy, but aiming at the targets without moving the ship may be frustrating!
"In Deploy, teams must work together to build a small spaceship. When it is assembled, teams will have to push it 50 metres to the main hangar, and if the ships are well-built, teams will receive their next clue. It will be frustrating if the parts aren't together correctly, but teams that can read instructions well should be able to complete this task quickly!"

Kirby got into his ship, and then flew over to where Yoshi is, and then ran out of the space ship.
"Yoshi, detour!" said Kirby.
"Yoshi, Yoshi!" "Which one should we do?"

Jigglypuff
Clues: 0
"Iggly?" asked Jigglypuff, looking around the cockpit of a spaceship.
Jigglypuff drooled, and then pressed a button. The spaceship tipped over, squashing Peach's logic spectrum.

Peach
Clues: 1
"Well, my dress isn't blue, so I guess I'm stupid!" said Peach, giggling.
"True," said the rofl pony, holding a napkin while eating bagels.

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"Here's the place!" said Falcon, looking around.
Falcon and Donkey Kong ran into the spaceship centre, and looked around and grabbed the clue.
"Road Block…" read Falcon. "Fly a ship, good!"
Falcon ran over to his parked ship and looked.
"Huh? It's buried!" said Falcon, angrily.
Falcon dug up the sand underneath, and then looked.
"AAH!" said Falcon, screaming.
"Just use it, I'm sure it will fly just the same!" said DK, trying to re-assure.
"Okay!" said Falcon, in slight desperation.

"So," said Link, walking over to Zelda. "How are you doing?"
"Get away, freak!" said Zelda, angrily. "I'm just not your type!"
"Sure," said Link. "Then whose type are you? That ugly ape's type?"
"HE IS NOT UGLY!" screamed Zelda, slashing her sword into Link's chest.
"Whoa," said Link, a bit scared. "Calm down!"
"Get it?" asked Zelda, laughing desperately. "Because I'm not normal?"
Link looked weird, and then got run over by Peach in a go kart.
"I guess I'm not the only ditzy princess!" said Peach, laughing, who then turned back to the road block course.

Samus
Finished Road Block
"Good," said Samus, flying her ship over to the front part of the space centre.
Samus walked out of the spaceship, and then looked at Zelda, continuously clobbering Link.
"Hey!" said Samus. "Good job!"
"Thanks," said Zelda, sticking a knife into Link's chest.
"Could you do that to the ape standing over there?" asked Samus.
"Uh…" said Zelda nervously.
Trickles of sweat ran down Zelda's forehead, her heart started to pump slightly faster, Zelda looked around, trying to find an excuse instead of revealing the truth. She looked around, wiped the sweat off her forehead, and then tried to think of the best excuse she could think of. Zelda tried to look down at the ground, away from Samus. But then she took a small glance at Samus, and then it came to the Hyrulian princess. It was an ingenious idea! Samus would never know about her secret crush on Donkey Kong! She took a small breath, exhaled, and then closed her eyes to try and stop herself getting an anxiety attack. She embraced the nice clean air, and then braced herself to tell Samus her perfect excuse. She felt a bit nervous, but she could do it. Here we go.
"It's because…" said Zelda, trying to remain calm. "…I have a secret crush on Donkey Kong."
Samus looked shocked, and then looked back at Zelda.
"Come again?" asked Samus.
"Um…" said Zelda. "I was just saying how uh…"
Zelda looked around, and then saw a giant eye.
"I …"
Zelda looked up at a billboard of Crazy Hand saying: 'I LIEK THIS PRODUCT I ENDORSE!'
"…like…"
Zelda looked around, and saw a donkey.
"…donkey…"
Zelda looked around and saw a Zebra.
"Zebra! Hey, why the heck is there a Zebra here?" asked Zelda.
"I'm on a secret mission to track down Peach!" said the rofl pony. "Obviously you can't tell that my stripes are made from good quality genetically modified tomato paste!"

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 3rd Place
"Which one should we do?" asked Ness.
"Let's build the spaceship," said Mewtwo.
Ness and Mewtwo walked over to the spaceship building department, and then looked around, and saw Crazy Hand.
"HELLO, MI DARLEENGS!" said Crazy Hand.
"Oh bother, Crazy Hand," said Mewtwo, angrily.
"DON'T WORRY MY PRETTY FREINDS, BCOS I TOOK MI CRAZY PILLS!" said Crazy Hand. "rANDom CAPitaliSAtion!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Targets: 3
"Yoshi, up herr Yoshi, upp herr up Yoshi!" said Yoshi, slightly angrily. "Why are you shooting at the far-away ones? Shoot at the normal ones!"
"Well, the Magic 8 Ball told me to!" said Kirby, happily.
"Yoshi hup?" asked Yoshi. "The magic 8 ball? I thought you threw that at Peach! Why the plot inconsistencies?"
"Well, uh…" said Kirby, nervously. "I think we need to finish this task now!"
Kirby put an angry look on his face, shot down seven more targets, and then got the clue.
"Yoshi, Yoshi!" said Yoshi angrily. "That doesn't explain anything!"
Roy started to melt.
"Herr!" said Yoshi. "You guys are so annoying!"

"Teams must now travel 1 kilometre to 'The Fighting Frog', a popular resort spot in Sector X, which is the pit stop of this leg of the race!" said Master Hand. "The last team to arrive, may be eliminated."

Samus and Zelda
Targets: 6
"Yes!" said Samus, hitting another target.
"Oh no!" said Zelda. "Kirby and Yoshi finished!"

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Let's go!" said Kirby, dragging along. "Taxi!"
Kirby screamed, and a taxi driver pulled up nearby.
"Well hello!" said Marth… er… Peppy.
"Yoshi, hup!" said Yoshi, a bit concerned. "Kirby, I wouldn't…"
"Food!" said Kirby.
Kirby inhaled Marth, and then started to drive off.

Samus and Zelda
Targets: 9
"Come on," said Samus, aiming the guns of the ship at a target.
Samus pulled the trigger, and hit the target.
"Yes!" said Zelda, happily. "Now let's get a fast taxi driver!"
"Oh no," said Samus. "We're doing it my style."

Ness and Mewtwo
Einstein's theory of relativity: Made Complicated
"Come on," said Mewtwo, a bit annoyed. "We've assembled the ship perfectly, and we've even painted it the way that you wanted it!"
"BUT THERE MUST BEE SPAICE FOR MY YUNG PADAWANS!" said Crazy Hand.
"Stuff it," said Ness.
Ness grabbed the clue, and then ran off with Mewtwo.

Kirby and Yoshi
Currently in 1st Place
"Go!" said Kirby, running into 'The Fighting Frog'.
Kirby and Yoshi ran into the building, spotted the world map, and then ran onto it.
"Kirby and Yoshi, you are team number one!" said Master Hand.
"Yes!" said Kirby.
"And boy, are you doing well!" said Master Hand.
"We're gonna win this," said Kirby.
"And as the winners of this leg of the race, you get a vacation to Yoshi's Island!" said Master Hand.
"Yoshi's Island? What a dump!" said Kirby.
"Uh… Kirby…" said Master Hand.
"Anyone that is from Yoshi's Island is either some stupid guy, or just a lazy wstupid blob! I mean, don't you just hate people from there?"
"Kirby…"
"They are so annoying! I mean, they're bickering on about how they saved the world from Baby Bowser. Baby Bowser? I mean, come on!" said Kirby.
"Um… Kirby…"
"Those pe-"
Kirby looked at Yoshi, trying to smile.

Samus and Zelda
Currently in 2nd Place
Samus and Zelda walked in a few seconds after, almost stood on Kirby (who was flat as a pancake) and then looked at Master Hand.
"Samus and Zelda, you are team number two!" said Master Hand.
"I guess that's okay," said Samus.
"At least Link and Jigglypuff didn't beat us to here," said Zelda.

Ness and Mewtwo
Currently in 3rd Place
"Ness and Mewtwo, you are team number three!" said Master Hand.
"Well, we're not doing as well as we started, and there are only two legs left," said Mewtwo. "So we're going to make the top four, and then win this race!"

Peach
Clues: 5
"Wee!" said Peach, happily.
Peach jumped off her go kart, dug for her clue, got the clue, and then looked off into the distance, where her kart was going in a straight line, still with auto pilot on.
"Whoops, I guess I shredded my cabbages wrong!" said Peach.

Falcon
Clues: 1
"What the heck is wrong with this ship?" asked Falcon. "It's like, not moving!"
"Whoops, sorry!" shouted Peach. "I think I stole your petrol! It's funny how unrelated this is to hand-me-down penguin stools!"

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 4th Place
Peach ran out of her go-kart to Bowser.
"Bowser, detour!" said Peach. "Should we destroy the ships?"
Bowser read the clue.
"But I don't want to!" said Bowser. "Someone might get hurt!"
"I thought you were evil!" said Peach.
"Shut up," said Bowser. "Let's assemble."

Jigglypuff
Clues: 3
Jigglypuff walked on foot to the next clue pit (because the ship tipped onto Falcon's ship).
"Jig!" said Jigglypuff, uncovering a clue. "Yay!"

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 4th Place
"Thanks, Crazy Hand!" said Peach, happily.
Bowser ripped open the clue.
"Go to 'the fighting frog'," read Bowser.

Falcon
Clues: 5
"Cool!" said Falcon, finding a clue. "Last one!"

Jigglypuff
Finished
"Jig!" said Jigglypuff. "I did it!"

Peach and Bowser
Currently in 4th Place
"Here it is!" said Bowser, looking around.
"Peach and Bowser, you are team number four!" said Master Hand.
"Phew," said Bowser.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place
"Quickly, Jig!" said Link, spotting Jigglypuff.
Jigglypuff ran over, and showed Link her clue.
"Destroy or deploy?" asked Link, after reading it.
"Jig ig," said Jigglypuff. "Destroy."

Falcon and DK
Currently in Last Place
"There you are!" said DK. "Let's go!"
"I reckon we should shoot the targets!" said Falcon.

Link and Jigglypuff
Targets: 2
"Doing well, Jig," said Link, shooting another target.

Falcon and DK
Targets: 1
"Come on, we have to catch up, they would have done about four!" said Falcon.

Link and Jigglypuff
Targets: 5
"Yes, we're gonna be the ones to crush Falcon and DK!" said Link, happily.

Falcon and DK
Targets: 3
"Good job, DK," said Falcon.

Link and Jigglypuff
Targets: 7
"He's going for three," said Link, aiming for his third in a row. "He's got it!"

Falcon and DK
Targets: 5
"Damn, they just got another one," said DK.

Link and Jigglypuff
Targets: 9
"One more, Jig!" said Link.
Link pressed the fire button, and hit the last target.
"Yes!" said Link.
Link and Jigglypuff danced, and then took the clue. Link read it.
"Pit stop! We're gonna get 'em!" said Link, with determination.

Falcon and DK
Targets: 8
"Come on, don't worry, two more!" said Falcon.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place
"Taxi! Taxi!" said Link.
Link waited for a while.
"They're not coming Jig, they're not coming!"

Falcon and DK
Targets: 9
"One more, Falcon. Let's hope their taxi breaks down," said DK.
"Yes," said Falcon, getting the last one.
Falcon grabbed the clue, and walked out to his F Zero car.
"We're going out in style!" said Falcon, happily.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in 5th Place
"Look! There's the 'Fighting Frog'!" said Link.
A speeding car pulled in front of the taxi, and Falcon and DK ran out of it.
"No!" said Link.
Falcon and DK ran into the main gate of the building. Link grabbed Jigglypuff in his arms, and ran closely behind. Link tripped up Falcon, and managed to lead. Both two teams ran into the building, and then saw Master Hand.
"Do something, Falcon!" said DK. "Like lipstick!"
"Hey Jigglypuff! I've got a pony colouring book!" said Falcon.
Link was about to step on the world map, when Jigglypuff jumped out of Link's grip, and landed in Falcon's arms.
"Get him off!" said Falcon.
Donkey Kong grabbed Jigglypuff, and threw her out of the window. All of the other watching teams applauded.
"What goes around, comes around!" screamed Samus, at Link and Jigglypuff.
Link ran out of the building, and Falcon and DK ran up to Master Hand.
"They like us because we might have got Link and Jigglypuff out of the race!" said Falcon, stepping on the map.
"Well, you're still in (damn)! You are team number five!" said Master Hand.

Link and Jigglypuff
Currently in Last Place
Link and Jigglypuff walked up to the map.
"Link and Jigglypuff, you are the last team to arrive!" said Master Hand.
"Please can this be a non-elimination!" muttered Link to himself.
"And I'm sorry to tell you, you've both been eliminated from the race!"
"Oh well," said Link. "We had a good time. I've developed as a role model, and Jigglypuff has learnt a lot. Watch out for us, next season, peoples!"
Link wigged at the camera, and walked off with Jigglypuff, trying to remain as calm as possible.

Finish Times:

Kirby and Yoshi- 10:37 AM
Samus and Zelda- 10:38 AM
Ness and Mewtwo- 10:44 AM
Peach and Bowser- 11:03 AM
Falcon and DK- 11:20 AM
Link and Jigglypuff- 11:20 AM- ELIMINATED

Five teams are left. Please tell us who do you want, and think will win. 