Disclaimio: Not Lyoko is Code mine! Neither is Pinky and the Brain's theme song. I do own Jimmy the flamethrower.
A/N: I'm all happy because I finally got a black kitty scarf (cheapo too!) and these heat pad thingies which are GREAT for warming up my mouse hand! It gets so cold after a few minutes. since I'm in SUCH a good mood today, I'm bringing you a new super long chapter! HOORAY!
Angelbolt: I was hoping for a review like that, because to be honest I hated the last chapter. It was so dull without the randomness! But don't worry, lots of it is in this one.
The Phoenix Queen: I know! Just think of all the crazy crap I'll write. Me driving a bus, Jet on a rampant sugar high destroying random things with a flamethrower, lots of explosions and more!
Sithking Zero: I wanted to save all the fire for this chapter; otherwise using the same idea twice would have sucked.
And thanks to everyone else who reviewed! Chocolate coins for all! It makes me really, really happy that people enjoy this. I live to entertain! ..sort of.
For those who are wondering, I'm not doing all of the episodes. Just episodes that are either favourites or episodes that are fun to mess with. Yes, I'm doing season 2 as well. Hopefully this fanfic will be finished by the time the new season ends. I'll make up random things between episodes as well, I have one in mind about Tessa messing around with the supercomputer. I say nothing more!
Tekirai: Welcome to chapter 5 everyone! This is where the cameo from chapter two is!
Jet: Which you probably didn't even think about.
Nyobot: A cameo is where a character or object from something else appears in a movie, comic, story or TV show.
Tekirai: Good thing Nyobot has a dictionary function!
Nyobot: I HAVE SHINIES!
Jet: …uh. (reads answers to the reviews) I go on a what now?
Chapter 5 – Jet and Sugar Don't Mix
After about 3 seconds of floating in some deformed tunnel thing, Tessa and Majik fell out of a hole, which disappeared as they landed in front of the school's dorm building.
'Oww, rough landing,' Tessa complained. 'At least in Dora The Explorer they're so paranoid the grass isn't pointy.'
Majik shook his head. 'You shouldn't complain. Complaining is bad.'
'..well that was lame.'
'Hey, give me a break here. All of this is tiring you know.'
Tessa looked around her. It looked like it was the morning, and she could hear the distant chatter near the cafeteria.
'That loser Sissi should have Ulrich's diary and all that done. That's how the episode started.'
They went inside the building.
Tessa grinned to herself. 'This is going to be wayhey better than the whole Godzilla episode. Oh yeah, I'm going to change this one so bad!' she though evilly.
GAH! COME ON! Whereistitwhereisitwhereisit? It's got to be around here somewhere!
I've checked my bag, the drawers, the wardrobe, the bookshelf, the fridge-
What the hell? FRIDGE? I'm losing it! MUST…FIND…DIARY. MUST…NOT…HYPERVENTILATE. MUST CONTAIN SANITY!
Ulrich ran around the dorm room looking for his precious diary. He'd been looking for it all morning, ignoring the continuous rumbles from his stomach just begging for food.
And as you can guess, he made a hell of a mess. It was as if the wardrobe threw up and the bookshelves exploded.
Where is it? If anyone got hold of it, they'd find out about my My Little Ponies shrine…
He froze at that thought.
EGAD, I'VE REALLY GOT TO FIND THAT THING!
Ulrich had written every single thought he had in his head when he wrote in his diary. Even if it was 'yammer' written over and over. Everything from fights on Lyoko to his deepest, darkest, ahem, pony secrets.
Whoever got my diary will know everything about Lyoko and my one true love!
He stood up courageously with his hand on his chest.
'AND HER NAME IS-'
Tessa shook her head. 'I really don't know how some former self-like boy goes from a sarcastic ghost to a paranoid porpoise.'
'Ehh, that's teens for you.'
Her eyebrow twitched.
Majik gulped. 'Uhh, MUSTARD! Yeah, that's it. Gaze at its yellowness!' He said nervously as he made a container of mustard float in front of Tessa's face. (Ulrich's last line is heard in the background, but the word 'mustard' blocks the end. Damn karma!)
She stood there for a moment.
'As soon as you've stopped showing me your condiment collection, do you mind if we do something else?'
'Like what?'
'Like, umm, run so that Sissi doesn't see us?
They froze. 'SISSI!' They cried as they ran off at the last minute before the black-haired girl saw them.
She smiled to herself as she leaned against the wall. Man, she was good.
Since Ulrich is so amazing like that, he came out of his dorm as if nothing happened at all.
He turned to Sissi. 'What's wrong? Afraid the wall's gonna crumble?'
'Haha, very funny. Can we talk for a minute?'
…she didn't.
'Deedeedeedeedeee…'
It was a great morning for Jet and Tekirai. There were no signs of the patrol Tessa had sent out for them, so they no longer had to be on their toes.
Both of them were in a good mood that day. So they celebrated by…umm.
Drowning themselves in sugar and other stuff like that. Let's hope nothing bad happens.
'YAY! Life is sweet,' Tekirai sighed while chewing on a candy bar.
Jet only replied by furious munching.
Tekirai froze, this wasn't right. Usually Jet would make some snappy remark about accusing Tekirai of 'rotting her teeth to nothing but tadpoles'. This time around, he didn't. This concerned her.
The day this would have happened, up would become down. Left would become right. Snow would be raining moose and chickens would bark if you poked them.
However, Tekirai could not change physics, or the laws of nature. This has been a whole crapload of random blabber so let's actually see what happens.
Tekirai looked at him. 'Jet? Are you…ok?'
Jet didn't reply. He just kept eating.
'Jet, answer me.'
Munch, munch.
'JET!'
'WHAT?' he screamed loudly enough to make her shrink back.
'…I..I..j-just..'
'SUGAR IS GREAT! HAHAHAHAHA!'
His eye kept twitching and his tail wouldn't stop whacking the ground.
Tekirai panicked. 'Jet, stop! You remember what happened last time!'
'It's over,' Santa Claus said sadly. 'My family – gone. My home – gone. All my hopes of happiness have disappeared…'
It had happened. The North Pole exploded.
'FGKJKSBFSJHVFSLJH!' Jet screamed as he whizzed past on a reindeer's back.
'…and Happy Little Elves was taken off TV, and it was ALL – YOUR – FAULT.'
Jet skipped around. 'I'm a bumblebee! Buzz buzz buzz!'
He stopped at a nearby tree. 'JIMMY!'
If anyone else was watching him, they would have stared. He was talking to a flamethrower. (CAMEO-FROM-BEFORE ALARM BELLS RING)
Jet picked it up and hugged it. 'Finally, together at last! Now we'll do what we always do, Jimmy. TAKE OVER THE WORLD!'
They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain
Brain
Brain
Brain
NARF!
(doodeedoo)
Tekirai was on the verge of ripping her ears off. 'No! Not Jimmy! Give it back, you knucklehead!'
'YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME LUCKY CHARMS!' He screamed, running off into the distance with the Pinky and the Brain theme song still playing in the background.
'This is not good,' Tekirai said worriedly. 'This is not good…'
Meanwhile, back at the school, Yumi was walking along in her merry way looking for her group of friends.
Odd saw her walking around. 'Hi Yumi!' He waved.
She came over. 'Hello!' she said. (wow, that was original. That's an exact quote as well. Stupid writers.)
Wait a moment…
Odd + Me + Jeremie + Ulrich equals 4 equals everyone happy
4 – 1 equals no Ulrich equals me sad
After doing the incredibly simple math in her head, she looked around the grounds.
Yumi found him alright. But the sight before her shocked her to the bone.
'Hey! Look over there, it's Ulrich!' She said while pointing at the cafeteria building. Odd and Jeremie peeped out from behind the tree to take a look.
Sitting on the cafeteria steps were Ulrich and…Sissi?
Odd stumbled on what to say. 'But…he…why…what…what's he doing with Sissi? HEY ULRICH!'
He waved at them to get their attention. Ulrich raised his head to look at him, but his sight was then filled with Sissi's face.
'So?'
He frowned. 'That's blackmail, you know. How do you expect me to give into that?'
Sissi grinned. 'First of all, it's hard to say no to a pretty girl like me,' she paused to strike a short pose.
'And second of all, I'm not going to give you any choice.'
Jeremie took off his glasses. 'Have I been staying up late working on Aelita's antivirus too long, or do I see Ulrich and Sissi together?'
Yumi's eyebrow twitched angrily.
'Hold on you guys, don't you see anything wrong here?' Odd pointed out before the war started.
'The only thing wrong I see here, Odd,' Yumi said angrily, clenching her fist, 'is Ulrich sitting with Sissi. That defies nature.'
'That may be, but take a look at their faces.'
She raised an eyebrow at the strange request and turned to look at them again.
Sissi looked as if she just found out she was a millionaire. Ulrich looked as if he was going to get run over by a steamroller for a birthday present.
'Hmm. I see your point.'
'Well Ulrich, I'm waiting.'
Ulrich glared at her. If he didn't do what she said, she would read out his diary to the whole school.
That would have meant revealing Lyoko, his huge fandom for pretty horses, his true love and a bunch of other crud he liked keeping secret for no reason.
He gave in and raised his hand for her to take. Sissi grinned again as she dragged him away to their next class.
'That's it! I'm going to see what's going on here, right now!' Yumi said angrily, making her way towards Ulrich's next class.
Odd grabbed her arm.
'Woah there. Yumi, you have to calm down.'
Jeremie folded his arms. 'Don't go soldiering off anywhere without thinking first. We'll see what happened, don't worry about it.
Yumi hesitated before speaking again. 'OK, I'll come see you after class once you've figured out what's happening with them.'
'You go on to class.'
Tessa watched them walk their separate ways. 'It's a history lesson they're going to next, so let's go.'
'But I hate history!' whined Majik.
'Tough tinkies, we're going and we're going now.' She said finally, dragging Majik along with her.
'AHAHAHA! BURN MY PRETTIES, BURRRRN!' Jet cackled manically as he torched everything in the city.
Tekirai tried to use her ability to control water to put everything out.
'Jet, you've got to calm down! You've got to calm-'
'Do you like bananas?'
'Buh?'
'WELL HERE YA GO! IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE KILLER BANANAS!' He screamed while throwing banananananas at Tekirai like projectiles.
'Eep! Eep! Eep!' she squeaked as she dodged each one.
One by one, things either exploded, melted or burned as Jet ran around with the dangerous flamethrower of doom.
Then the police arrived! Boo!
'Stop the torching at once! You are completely surrounded!' One of the officers said through a megaphone. Jet simply walked up, took the megaphone and jammed it over the officer's head.
'Help! I'm blind!' He screamed as he ran around with the device on his head, crashing into everyone.
Since this is a story and everything is completely different, the entire police force started crying and they all ran home for some milk and cookies. Yum.
Jet did a quick victory dance complete with music. 'Uhuh! Oh yeah! I'm awesome!'
He stopped abruptly and ran off to burn more things.
Tekirai groaned. The world was now going to end as they knew it.
RINGADINGADINGADINGHEYBADABADAHEYBADABADASWING.
…uh, I mean:
RIIING!
The door collapsed as the students inside the classroom dashed out, glad that the teacher stopped droning and the lesson was over.
As expected, Sissi and Ulrich walked out, Ulrich with a grim expressions and with Sissi grabbing onto him like a little girl's doll.
The sight was sickening. Odd agreed.
He came up to Sissi. 'We've got some important things to talk about, Sissi. Come on.' He said quickly as he pulled her away from Ulrich without another word.
Jeremie turned to Ulrich. 'Mind explaining?'
Ulrich sighed. 'OK, here goes. For years I've been…keeping a diary…'
'A what!' Jeremie said shocked.
'Yes, a diary! A book you write thingies in! You're supposed to be the smart one here.'
'Oh no, don't tell me! Sissi has your diary, you've written stuff about Lyoko in it and she's blackmailing you?'
'You hit the nail on the head with that one.' Ulrich buried his face in his hands. 'I don't know what to do…'
Jeremie put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
'Don't worry about it Ulrich,' he said, 'while you're all at the pool, Yumi and I will have a look around. We'll find your diary, you'll see.'
Ulrich gave a weak smile before Sissi screamed behind them.
'For the last time, I did not have a nose job! So stop asking, huh!' She said to Odd angrily.
Ulrich thought for a second. If Lyoko was at risk, he'd best be in Sissi's favour to keep the secret safe.
'Cut it out Odd. Leave her alone, will ya?'
He walked over to her and put his arm around her waist, and they walked away with Sissi smirking back at them.
Jeremie turned to his friend. 'It's ok, I'll explain.'
Majik watched them talk, not noticing Tessa was on her way to the school's front gate.
'Come on, Majik! The bus awaits!'
A/N: wow, this has to be my biggest chapter yet! I never noticed how fast time goes by. I hope you liked it, the next chapter will be much better. Not everything has happened yet, there's still the bus trip and the petrol chemical plant, not to mention more of Jet's path of destruction.
Tekirai: There's still chocolate coins here for the reviewers!
Nyobot: Choclit…
Jet: DON'T YOU DARE!