An Interview with Fruits Basket!
Chapter 4
Wow! I just looked at how long it had been since I had undated… like ages! So I sat down at my PC and I didn't stop typing still I was satisfied with my work. Please enjoy people, this one may not be as good as the other chapters, but please forgive me anyhow! (By the way, Yuki really doesn't talk very much in this Chapter; the interviewer is taking the 'lime-light' yet again, just to make a change)
Interviewer: Hello! Welcome to the forth night of… AN INTERVIEW WITH FRUITS BASKET! This show is really up and running now, we've had all sorts on here, from the raging Kyo to the perverted Shigure Sohma! Now to top it all off, I'm going to be having a chat with the king of kalerbai high Yuki Sohma! This interview should go a lot smoother than others… I hope… BUT ANYWAY! I have kept you all suspended for long enough, please give the biggest welcome you can manage to the one, the only, YUKI SOHMA!
(Yuki walks on stage, dodging the teenage girls flinging themselves at him)
Interviewer: Welcome welcome welcome Yuki!
(Yuki bows to interviewer and takes a seat neatly on the sofa!)
Interviewer: Thank you for taking time to come and chat with me today! I know what busy life style stars have these days, being one myself of course!
(A mad coughing fits starts somewhere in the audience, with a hint of the word 'not' somewhere)
Interviewer: Hmm…. Yes anyway… ON WITH THE SHOW! What can you tell me about the changes that have happened in your life since your casting in 'Fruits basket'?
Yuki: Well… I suppose I never really had all of the girls having a sudden obsession with me. Before, I only got one or two love letters on Valentine's day… or was that hundred…
Interviewer: One or two… HUNDRED! Wow, it must take a long time to read all of those! Shame I don't get that many… So what advise can you give to those unfortunate guys like me who don't have the best of luck with the ladies?
Yuki: Um…
Interviewer: Oh come on Yuki old pall! You must have some idea how you get all the girls flocking at your feet like ducks to water! Don't you…?
Yuki: Um… well, no not really
Interviewer: I see… damn I'm gunna have to try someone else… maybe that chat line I saw in the back of my magazine… oh s did I just say that out loud, oh f, did I just say s out loud too? ANYWAY! NEXT QUESTION! Um… yes where was I? Ah yes I have it, so how would you describe your relation ship with Kyo Sohma?
Yuki: My relationship with whom?
Interviewer: Um… you know, Kyo… Sohma?
(Yuki looks at interviewer with an expression of total blankness on his face)
Interviewer: Ginger hair… has the loudest mouth in the history of the earth that you need five tones of painkillers to help with the agony of the headache you develop even after just being around him for five minutes…?
Yuki: ……….
Interviewer: …. (Mentally flips) WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR FAMILIES PROBLEM? I'M BROKE AND TOOK UP THIS LAME JOB SO I COULD AFORD TO PAY OFF MY DEPT THAT I BUILD UP AFTER MY DRUG ABUSE… um… I mean
(Presses into his ear so he can hear what is being said into his earpiece)
Interviewer: I have just been said to that I am… officially fired after this programme… NEXT QUESTION! Hang on a minute… did I just say that I was fired
(Looks at Yuki, Yuki looks at him with a grave expression… then nods)
Interviewer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T BE FIRED! PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!
(Runs up to camera, and collapses onto hands and knees in front of it)
Interviewer: PLEASE! I NEED THIS JOB… even if it is lame… PLEEEEEEEEASSE! RECONSIDER MR.BOSS…
(Waits for an answer… this isn't one… interviewer the starts to blubber and sob on the studio floor)
Yuki: Umm…
(Interviewer looks up, eyes are puffy and red, then jumps up and knees in front of Yuki with his hands clasped together)
Interviewer: Yuki… my dear sweet Yuki, you know that I didn't mean any of what I said… don't you? You wouldn't let them fire me would you…?
Yuki: ………….
Interviewer: OH NO! EVEN THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY YUKI THINKS THAT I DESERVE TO BE FIRED! WHAT AM I TO DO? WHAT AM I TO DO? PLEASE !!!
Yuki: I think that it is best if I leave now… forgive me…
(Dashes off stage, dodging the hundreds of girls throwing themselves at him… again)
Interviewer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE! I'M A FAILURE! I WANT MY JOB BACK YOU MOTHERFUC…
(The plug is pulled on show… screen goes blank)
Ok ok ok, I know that this chapter was really REALLY random, but I was just feeling in a really REALLY random mood. It's ok if you don't like it, but just be nice when you R&R, ok?
Thanks dude(ette)s!
Stick around for the next chapter! Adious!