"Kai-ipa pai-iti-inoka noi kaxailiti…"

"Err…Dartz-sama…do you think we should separate those two?"

Dartz shook his head impatiently and brushed off the fingers that were tapping his shoulder. Oh, how he wished for some peace and quiet. He rolled his mismatched eyes to the ceiling. Lords, what did he do to be cursed with this kind of impertinence?

"Not now, you buffoon—I'm busy," he muttered darkly under his breath and returned to his chanting. "…ti-i ti-inoi xa-asa alino-osati kaonoi…"

"But, Master Dartz, the upholstery—"

CRASH.

"…never mind."

"Uh…Dartz-sama, the windows—"

BOOM.

"…forget it."

Dartz sighed. Now this was getting ridiculous.

"Dartz-sama...I think Varon just set a wall full of souls on fire."

He face-faulted, wondering why he actually got out of bed this morning. The man standing in front of him watched blankly as his two comrades ran around in circles around the altar room for some reason that ceased to make sense.

"DON'T YOU INSULT MAI!"

SCREEEEE.

"GET OFF ME, AUSSIE!"

Nope, it still didn't make any sense to him. Raphael could only find one reason of truth in this entire deranged situation they were currently stuck in.

"…you two quarrel like a married couple," he finally stated.

Almost immediately, the entire altar room became silent. Dartz actually stopped his chanting, Varon squeaked, and Amelda froze in mid-movement. Raphael vaguely noticed that Amelda had a floor lamp in his grasp and that it was an inch away from colliding with the brunette's head. Good thing he was in too much shock to move.

Silence ensued for the next…5.5 seconds. Of course, the person who decided to break this peaceful silence was none other than—

"…a MARRIED couple, mate? A BLOODY MARRIED COUPLE?"

—yes, Varon. (If you haven't yet inferred from the cheesy Australian accent.)

Varon was furious. Them! A married COUPLE! He pointed an angry finger at Amelda and began yelling at the blonde.

"What do you want me to do, get down on a knee and propose to this nimrod here?"

Amelda immediately pulled away and glared evilly at him. "I'd cut of your genitals on the spot," he growled.

Varon glared back. "Hey, at least I actually have genitals to cut off, unlike you—"

"—ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I'M A WOMAN?"

The floor lamp came crashing down on his skull.

"AMELDA! THAT HURT LIKE A BITC—"

The Atlantean scoffed and removed himself from his kneeling position. He sauntered over to where the blonde was standing and draped an arm over his shoulder. "You see Raphael, aren't these two just adorable together?" he asked in a tone practically dripping with sarcasm. "I mean we should totally stop my ten millennia plan to summon the Great Leviathan to set up a honeymoon for these two…"

Raphael sweatdropped, wondering why his master was being so touchy-feely at the moment. "Of course, Dartz-sama…uh…whatever you say."

Dartz slapped him on the back of his head.

"I was being sarcastic, you imbecile."

"Oh."

"…"

Dartz glared over at Varon and Amelda. "What are you two STARING at?" he snapped.

Varon twitched an eye. Amelda however, looked like he was on the verge of having an eruption. Did I say on the verge? Whoops.

"If we got MARRIED? MARRIED?"

He exploded.

"Ok, this will be how our marriage—we'll be in the church, right? Aussie here will distract the receptionists while I whip out my katana and kill everybody in the room. But we'll be hunted down by the police so I'll grow my bangs and he'll dye his hair purple, and then the two of us will cross the borders and run off to Mexico where we'll live as fugitives under the names of Finback and Abington working in some labor union for the rest of our mediocre lives!"

Amelda took a deep breath before concluding his little rant.

"And THAT, my dear friends, is how our marriage would turn out."

There was silence the altar room for the second time that day. However, this stage of silence happened to last longer than the last one seeing as Varon had passed out cold on the ground upon hearing that his hair would be purple in a few years.

Everybody else who was conscious, blinked at his outburst—surprised, shocked, and somewhat constipated to hear those words come out of the normally calm and collected Amelda.

Surprisingly, it was Dartz who was the one broke the silence.

"…like McDonalds?" he suggested curiously after considering what the redhead had said. Raphael hesitantly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Uh, Master Dartz, that's a restaurant."

The Atlantean frowned. "Well excuse me, servant, but I'm sorry if I can't distinguish the difference between a bunch of Mexicans and a worn-down bistro," he snapped back, emphasizing the word 'servant' far more than necessary and probably degrading poor Raphael while he was at it.

On the other side of the altar room, Varon was having a nice, clean, totally un-perverted dream about Mai.

"…mmm...yes...harder, Mai, harder…WHAAA!"

Amelda stopped kicking Varon in the head. "Dreaming that you're screwing that whore again?" he asked flatly.

Varon shook his head and sat up. "What happened…" he said groggily before realization dawned upon him. "…wait, WHAT did you call Mai?"

Amelda raised an eyebrow expectantly.

Raphael rolled his eyes.

Dartz moaned.

The brunette leaped onto his feet and charged at Amelda. "OH, I WILL KILL YOU, MATE!"

"BRING IT ON!"

CRASH. BOOM. SCREEE.

…so much for that statue of Hitler.

Raphael turned his back from the two of them and looked at the older man who had returned to his Atlantean chanting. He sighed—what a dysfunctional family they had. Raphael rubbed his head and continued listening to Dartz's chanting.

"Anoti tiono no-oti paolikaiti tio tili-ikali-iano io-oli tionoatioisa…"

A blond brow furrowed in confusion. Wait, that wasn't right.

"…did you just tell the Great Beast to dry-clean his tomatoes?"