Look Who is Talking

by louiselane

Lois gets a parrot named Roxie who is willing to annoying Shelby. Inspired by Krpto episodes where the animals talk.

TITLE: Look Who's Talking
AUTHOR: Louise Lois gets a parrot named Roxie who is willing to annoying Shelby. Inspired by Krpto episodes where the animals talk.
RATING: Pg-13
CLASSIFIED: Romance
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction belong to me. They belong to the cast and crew of Smallville, WB and DC Comics
DISTRIBUTION: Permission granted to Fanfiction Net, Prologue, and Happy Ending. . If anyone else wants to archive it, please let me know.
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated. Please e-mail me at
PAIRING: Lois/Clark
CHARACTERS: Lois, Clark,Chloe,Lex, Martha, Jonathan.
SPOILER: Set after Exposed
DEDICATION: To Renee for beta reading this fan fiction and helping me with my English, for Cris who give me the idea for this story and for the wonderful people from Clois, Forever Devoted 2 Clois.

It was a very beautiful Saturday morning in Smallville and Clark was fixing a tractor with Shelby by his side when Lois' car pulled up the drive.

"Hey, Smallville!" she smiled at him when she got out of the car. Shelby jumped up on her and licked her face, "Hi Shelby."

"Lois… you're here… why?"

She reached into her car and picked up a red parrot that was sitting inside the car and put it on her shoulder. "Meet Roxie, my new pet."

"It's a parrot," Clark looked at her confused.

"Ohhh…. You're a genius, Clark!" she smirked at him. "I was so lonely at the Talon with Chloe and Lana in Metropolis, you here on the farm… I decided to buy a pet to keep me company. Say hi to Smallville, Roxie."

"Hi, Smallville!" the parrot said.

"You know, you picked the perfect pet she sounds just like you," Clark smiled caressing Roxie's feathers.

"Very Funny. Anyway, can I leave her here for awhile? I have to go to Metropolis for the day. I'll be back by tonight."

"Sure, Lois. I'm sure Shelby will love to have her around, right boy?" Clark asked Shelby who barked back.

When Clark and Lois left for the kitchen to talk, Roxie looked at Shelby.

"Are they gone, yet?" Roxie asked.

"Why?"

"It's so annoying to pretend you aren't that bright for the sake of the humans. How do you stand it?"

"I…"

"Forget about. What do you do around here for fun? I have to do something because I can't stand eating crackers and saying funny jokes anymore. I love Lois, I really do but I need my freedom once in a while."

"Do you ever stop to talking?" Shelby asked annoyed already. "And how can you talk about your master like that? Lois is a great human, I love her."

"Yeah yeah yeah… blah blah blah… So what do you do around here for fun? I only have one day."

"I don't know. I can introduce you to the cows…"

"The cows?" Roxie was shocked. "You are really a farm-dog. Don't you ever leave this farm?"

"After I came to live here… no."

"That's explains a lot," Roxie said with a smile. "Shhh… they're back."

Clark exited the house with Lois behind him giving him instructions on how to take care of Roxie.

"So Clark, don't forgot what I told you. Make sure you feed her on time. Did you write everything down?"

"Lois, do you ever stop talking? I know how to take care of her. I live on a farm," Clark reminded her.

"Yeah… about that. You really need to spice things up."

"Like what?"

"You're way too serious farm boy. You really need to loosen up Clarkie."

"Lois, aren't you running late?" Clark said trying to distract her.

"Right. We'll talk when I get back then. I'll see you tonight. Bye Roxie, have fun. Mama will be back soon. Be nice to my baby, Smallville."

"Your baby?" Clark inquired amused that Lois called her pet her baby.

After Lois was gone, Clark went to feed the cows while Roxie started to talk to Shelby again.

"So, what do you think of my idea?" Roxie asked excited already.

"What idea?"

Roxie sighed annoyed by the dog's ignorance, "That we need to get out of here for a while I promise you'll have fun."

"I don't know," Shelby looked at her suspiciously. "What happens if we get lost and can't find our way back?"

"Aren't you a Super Dog? You'll be able to find the way back."

"How did you know I had powers? Anyway, I don't have them anymore."

"She talked to me in the car about Clark and you," Roxie explains. "So, can we go?"

"Okay. I'll do anything to shut you up."

When Clark finally finished his chores he went inside to get something to eat. He called Shelby but got no response. "Shelby! Here, boy. It's time for lunch," Clark looked around worriedly. Shelby was always back in time for lunch. "Weird."

Jonathan walked out of the house, "Hey, Clark."

"Hi Dad. Have you seen Shelby lately?"

"No, why?"

"He's not answering my calls," Clark suddenly remembers Roxie. "Oh my god! Roxie!"

"Who?"

"Lois's parrot. I left her right here," Clark pointed to a table near the window. "I have to find her or Lois will kill me."

In the woods, Roxie was flying next to Shelby.

"So, tell me more about them."

"Who?"

"Are you that dumb? Our owners, Lois and Clark."

"Well, Clark is a good guy; he's always trying to help people. Lois is lovely woman. I know she and Clark don't have that much in common, but you can tell they make a great team. Too bad my master can't see it."

"So, you think they should get together?"

"I think so. Did you notice how they look at each other? There's something there..."

"Hmm…. I think I have an idea," Roxie grinned at him mischievously. "Let's get back to the farm."

"Already?"

"Yeah, it's way more fun plotting… I have an idea to get those two together."

"But Lois won't be back till tonight."

"Doesn't matter it will work anyway."

Clark arrived back at the farm tired from looking for the pets without any lucky. He decided to call Lois's cell phone to give her the bad news.

"Lois?" Clark said trying to recover his breath.

"Clark?" Lois asked with Chloe and Lana by her side in their dorm. "What's wrong?"

"It's Roxie; she's missing… and Shelby too."

"WHAT?" Lois said angrily. "How could you lose her, Clark?"

"I was doing my chores and when I came to check her, she and Shelby were gone."

"So, do you think they're together?" Lois asked still worried about her baby.

"Probably, but I'm not sure."

"What are you sure of, Clark?" Lois asked irritated. "Besides that my baby is missing?"

"I'll find her Lois. I promise."

"You better, Clark. I'm leaving right now."

When the pets returned to the farm, they noticed Clark wasn't there anymore. This worked perfectly with Roxie's plan to get Lois and Clark together.

"So, what's your plan?" Shelby asked curious but worried at the same time.

"Well… their cars are gone. Seems we're the only ones here besides the others animals. So, we can get to work on my plan."

"What's your idea?"

"Come with me and I'll explain everything."

"I'm still confused."

"What a shocker. Did you ever seen Snow White?" Roxie asked Shelby.

"No, why?"

"You'll see."

Later that night, Lois and Clark came back to the farm. Clark had met Lois at the Talon and they had spent the day looking for the pets in Smallville. Lois was very distraught over Roxie's disappearance, so Clark had decided to bring her back to the farm. He was upset that Shelby was missing too.

"What are we gonna do Clark?" Lois inquired still worried.

"I don't know, Lois. We'll find them, you'll see," Clark tries to calm her down, while he opens the door. Lois and Clark stood there shocked by what they found inside.

There was Shelby and Roxie, safe and sound with a table ready for a date all fixed with flowers, food, and some wine.

"Oh my god!" Lois yelled picking Roxie up and putting the parrot on her shoulder. "Don't ever do that to me again, okay Rox?"

"Shelby!" Clark yelled scratching behind his ears. "What were you up to boy?" he said as he finally noticed the table. "What's going on here?"

Lois noticed the table too and look confused, "Clark, what is this?"

"I don't know Lois. I'm just as confused as you."

"Someone put this all together," Lois finally said still confused. "But who?"

"Mom? Dad?" Clark yelled but got no response.

"Your parents are in Metropolis, did you forget? Your father's monthly exam," Lois reminded him.

"Ohhh right. They left for Metropolis after lunch."

"So… who did this?" Lois questioned suspiciously. "Chloe? Lana?" Lois and Clark looked at each other amused. "Nah"

"Lex, maybe?" Clark suggested.

"It's possible," Lois sat down at the table and opened a bottle of wine. "Well, who cares who it was; I need something to drink now that I know Roxie is safe. Do you want to join me?"

"I don't know Lois… I don't drink."

"Come on Clark… just one drink. I promise I won't bite."

Shelby and Roxie look to each other with amused looks. "It's working!" Roxie whispered to him.

An hour later, Lois and Clark were laughing over Lois' stories, both completely drunk.

"What did you put in this wine, Lois? Red kryptonite?" Clark asked still laughing.

"Red what?"

"Forget it," Clark smiled at her. "You know, I have a crazy theory about this. I don't think Lex did this. I think it was them."

"Who?" Lois asked curiously.

"Them," Clark pointed to Shelby and Roxie.

"The pets?" Lois chuckled at his idea. "You're drunk, Smallville."

"So, are you," he smiled at her. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"What movie?"

"I don't know… let me see. I rented some DVDs this weekend. "Fast and Furious?" Lois frowned. "Okay. Um… Lord of the Rings?" Lois rolled her eyes. "Okay. You pick, Ms. Lane. I only have one left… a Disney cartoon: Hercules."

"Hercules? I love that movie!" Lois suddenly snatches the DVD from Clark's hands and puts it into the DVD-player. "Come on."

They sit together on the coach to watch the movie.

"So, it's a good movie?" Clark asked curious. "I never saw it before."

"Are you kidding me? You've never seen this?" Lois asked surprised. "It's a great movie and Hercules kinda reminds me you."

"Really?" Clark asked curiously as Lois pressed the Play button.

"Really."

Four hours later, Martha and Jonathan arrived home. Chloe and Lex followed them in, deciding to stop by because they were worried about Lois and Clark and the pets. Lois and Clark were sleeping together on the couch, the TV still was on but the movie had ended. Shelby was sleeping next to them and Roxie was in her cage by the window.

Clark woke up with everyone staring down at him with amused expressions on their faces. "Hi guys," he smiled still very sleepy. "What's up?"

"Clark, do you have something you want to tell your mother and me?" Jonathan asked his tone very serious.

"No, why?"

Suddenly Lois woke up and they both noticed their awkward sleeping arrangement.

"Clark!"

"Lois!"

"What happened here?" Chloe asked curiously.

"Well…we took advantage of Lex's surprise. We drank some wine, ate some food, and decided to watch a movie. Then we fell asleep," Lois explained. "That's all."

"Hold on, Lois," Lex interrupted her. "What are you talking about? I didn't plan any surprise for you."

"What?" Lois and Clark asked together in confusion.

"It wasn't you who set up the table with food and the wine?" Clark asked surprised.

"No. It wasn't me," Lex explained. "I was working at Lexcorp all day."

"Chloe?" Lois asked, crossing her arms.

"I was at the Daily Planet the whole day, Lois," Chloe explained with a smirk. "Lana was studying astronomy when I got home."

"And Mom and Dad were in Metropolis," Clark frowned confused. "So who…?"

"Clark, maybe your idea wasn't that crazy," Lois reminds him.

"What idea?" Chloe asked curiously.

"Maybe, the pets did this."

"You're drunk, cousin. That's impossible," Chloe chuckled along with everyone else.

"Well… I can't see any other explanation."

"It was a long night. I think it's time everyone headed home. Lois you can stay, it's a little late for you to be driving home alone right now," Mr. Kent said as he led Chloe and Lex to the door.

"Thanks Mr. Kent," Lois smiled to him between yawns.

After, Lex and Chloe left, Clark pulled Lois aside as she was headed up to his room.

"Lois, you were right, the movie was great," He smiled at her.

"I told you," she smirked at him.

"But you never mentioned how much you're like Meg."

"You really think so?" Lois chuckled.

"Yeah I really do," Clark smiled back.

"Thanks."

They stared at each other until Martha interrupted them, "Lois? Your bed is ready."

"Thanks Mrs. Kent."

Lois picked Roxie's cage up and walked pass by Shelby as she headed upstairs. Roxie look at Shelby and blinked. "Thanks for the help," she whispered in his ear.

"Did you hear that?" Lois asked Clark.

"Hear what?"

"Never mind. I think I might still be drunk," Lois concluded before going up to Clark's room.

Clark laid down on the coach and wrapped the covers up around his body, as Shelby jump up to sleep with him. Clark was exhausted and fell asleep quickly. Shelby looked at Clark and then upstairs. "Roxie's right. It's only a matter of time until they fall in love," Shelby concluded before closing his eyes.

The End