Choices We Make

Disclaimer:
As always, I don't own the characters (minus Dr. Ariel Clay) and I am in no way affiliated with Smallville...This fic was simply written for entertainment purposes only...

Rating:
T for themes/content

Pairing:
Clex

Genre:
Drama/Romance

The Breakup

Clark walked into Lex's study to speak with him. Smiling, Lex rose from this chair and approached Clark, embracing him in a hug, also kissing him lightly on the lips. Half smiling, Clark couldn't help but hate himself for what he was about to do. He'd never wanted to hurt Lex. Clark would rather have killed himself, but he knew this was his only choice; or so he thought. The teasing and taunting from the other kids at school had become too much for Clark to handle. He'd come close to losing all self control on several students. That was a risk he didn't think he was ready to take.

Noting the slight hint of sadness in his lover's face, Lex asked "Clark?...What's wrong?" Sighing, Clark replied "Lex...We need to talk..." Sensing where this was going, Lex thought to himself Why do I get the sick feeling I know where this is going?... Trying not to let his feelings show, Lex simply asked "What about?" Hating himself for what he was doing, Clark reluctantly replied "Lex...I don't think I can do this anymore...I think we should go our seperate ways..." Although he'd sensed it coming, each word felt like another razor sharp blade piercing into his chest. His face taking on a more evidently hurt appearance, he replied "What? Clark, I don't believe this...I thought you loved me..." Just wanting to get this over, Clark replied "I do love you, Lex. It's just...the little whispers in the halls that nobody thinks I can hear are beginning to become too much...I don't know how much more I can take before I snap. And you know what could happen if I lose it...I just don't wanna risk that...I don't wanna hurt you either but in the end, I don't see any other choice...I'm really sorry, Lex...I never meant to hurt you...Please understand..."

Lex did understand. He knew the consequences of Clark losing it on some poor student. He also didn't wanna take that risk. Sighing in resignation, Lex pleaded one final time. "Clark, please!...There has to be another way!..." Lex's desperate pleas were stinging Clark like a thousand knives stabbing him all over his body. Still, he knew what he had to do. "Lex, I'm sorry...This is the only way..." With that, Clark just turned and walked out. Watching as Clark left, Lex couldn't believe it was really over. He never dreamed this day would come. Though, he couldn't say that he blamed Clark. But, that didn't make it hurt any less, losing him. Walking back over to his desk Lex poured himself a glass of scotch.

Meanwhile, back at the Kent Farm, Clark sat in the living room, reliving his last discussion with Lex. Did I really do the right thing?...Maybe Lex was right...Maybe there is another way... He thought to himself. As he sat there, pondering his decision, trying to find another solution, he stared outside the window. He'd been so lost in thought, he hadn't noticed the major downpour outside. Rain covered the windows with a thick sheet of water. After watching the rain a few more moments, Clark resumed his thoughts only to be interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Walking into the kitchen, Clark placed the receiver to his ear as he answered "Hello?..." Sighing, the caller on the other end of the line replied "Mr. Kent?" Confused, as he didn't recognize the caller's voice, Clark asked "Yes, this is he. May I ask who's calling?"

What Clark didn't know was that after his first scotch, Lex kept drinking more and more until finally it was too much. He'd collapsed onto the floor of his study. One of his servants had found him and called the ambulance. Slowly, the caller on the other end of the line replied "This is Dr. Ariel Clay from the Smallville Medical Center. I'm calling about your friend, Lex Luthor." Oh my God...Please tell me he didn't do anything stupid...Clark thought to himself as he replied "What happened?" Sighing once more, Dr. Clay replied "He was just brought to us in critical condition about half an hour ago...He's in a coma now..." Shocked, Clark couldn't believe what he was hearing. After being rendered speechless, Clark asked meekly "H-How?" Reluctantly, Dr. Clay explained "We ran a toxicology screening and we discovered his Blood-Alcohol Level was through the roof. We believe that to be the cause of his coma..." God damn it, Lex! Why!...Clark thought to himself as he replied "Thank you. I'll be right down there..."

Not even waiting for a response, Clark hung up the receiver and grabbed the keys to his truck. Dashing out to the truck, he instinctively pulled his coat up over his head, as the downpour had yet to let up. Ignoring the rain and the slick roads, Clark sped down to the hospital where Lex had been taken. Miraculously, he made it there safely. Rushing inside, Clark was then lead to Lex's private room. Walking in, Clark nearly hit the ground in shock. Slowly approaching Lex's bedside, Clark began to feel increasingly guilty. "Damn it...This is all my fault..." He whispered, gently taking Lex's lifeless hand in his own. He hadn't even bothered to fight back the tears. They just streamed silently down his cheeks as he gently caressed Lex's cold, pale cheek.

God, Lex...I can't believe this is happening...Clark thought to himself. Softly, he spoke to Lex. "Lex...If you can hear me...I was wrong...You were right, I was wrong...I never should have left you...I hate myself for hurting you like that...I was a fool...I should've just talked things out with you...Together, I know we could have come up with a better solution...I'm sorrry...I know that won't change things, it won't bring you back but I just felt that needed to be said..." That said, Clark leaned over Lex and kissed his forehead ever so gently.

Feeling Clark's lips brush against his skin and hearing his words, Lex also felt guilty. As much as Clark had hurt him, he could see he was Clark even more. Shit...Clark, no...You weren't the fool, I was...I should have understood your side more...I should have understood your pain...Hell, I should have been there for you...You needed me and I was too blind to see it...God, what I wouldn't give to hold him in my arms and tell him everything's okay, that I'm okay...I just want things to go back to the way they were...Lex thought to himself, trying like hell to wake up and comfort Clark. Though, he soon discovered his eyelids felt as though somebody had cemented them shut. Fuck!...He cursed to himself. I have to come out of this...I have to tell Clark that I was the one who was wrong...Somehow, I will...I'll find a way to do it...

Meanwhile, Clark just sat beside Lex's bed. No force on Earth or in Heaven could have made Clark leave Lex's side; not until he knew for a fact that Lex was going to be all right. As darkness fell, Clark soon began feeling drowsy. Before he sucame to sleep, Clark leaned over Lex once again and whispered gently and desperately in Lex's ear "Please...Don't leave me..." With that, Clark soon drifted off to sleep.

In the darkness and cloudiness of Lex's mind, Clark's words rang out. Don't worry, Clark...I'm not going anywhere...I promise...I could never leave you...He thought to himself in response to Clark's desperation, though he knew the farmboy wouldn't hear it. Somehow, he would find a way to tell Clark that for himself. He didn't know when or how but he would do it. He'd made up his mind. Then, the darkness took over once more.

The next morning, Clark awoke to the sounds of the various machines hooked up to Lex mingling with the harsh golden rays of sunlight filing into the room from the window. Looking down into his former lover's face, Clark saw that there had been no change in his condition; not like he'd expected one. After the doctors had come into check on Lex, they soon left Clark alone with him again. Even though he'd grown accustomed to seeing Lex like this, it still killed him knowing that it was all because of him. Hold on, Lex...I know you can beat this...Clark thought to himself, then whispered it softly in Lex's ear. Hearing Clark's word seemed to give Lex new hope-hope he feared was lost in the darkness. Though, he still could not muster the strength to come out of his comatosed state.

Meanwhile, Clark just stayed by Lex's side. God, what was I thinking?...I never should have left him...Now...I may never get him back... He thought to himself. The thought of the possibility of Lex not making it scared Clark. He has to pull through...I don't know what I'd do without him...I'd be lost if I lost him...Clark thought to himself, pondering the possibility of losing the man he loved more than life itself; the man he would gladly lay down his life to save. That was something Clark just couldn't deal with.

After yet another day of watching Lex suffer and dealing with the guilt of knowing all this was because of him, Clark soon drifted off to sleep by Lex's side once more. Just before Lex, too, sucame to the total darkness clouding his mind once again, he thought to himself with gradually deteriorating hope He really does love me...Hell, he's the only one to stand by my side even after I go and do something foolish like this...God, I don't deserve him...He deserves so much better than an ass like me...

The next morning, Clark awoke to a strange swirling feeling in his stomach. Insinctively placing a hand over his stomach, Clark jumped slightly. He could have sworn he'd felt a rhythmic beating of some sort. It immediately made him think of a heartbeat. What the hell?...Clark thought to himself, shocked by what he had felt. Slowly, he replaced his hand over his stomach. Sure enough. It was a heartbeat all right. This discovery was confirmed by Clark's dog-like sense of hearing. Oh my God!...I don't believe it!...I'm...pregnant...Clark thought to himself, bewildered. What I really don't believe is that I was actually foolish enough to leave my child's father!...Well...my child's other father, anyway...He thought, mentally kicking himself. As Clark continued to process the fact that he was pregnant, he realized some thing. Oh my God!...Now, I definitely need Lex to make it!...I don't know if I can raise this baby on my own...Clark thought, scared of the fact that he could lose Lex. Which would, in turn, leave Clark alone to raise the baby on his own.

Also, Clark remembered that Kryptonian pregnancies were accelerated compared to humans; especially in males. Which only gave them three months to prepare for the birth. Oh shit!...That means that Lex has to wake up and soon...Clark thought to himself, in border line panic. If Lex didn't pull through, then that would leave Clark alone to raise their baby on his own...Something he just wasn't able to do.

Over the course of the day, Clark hadn't stopped running through thoughts of all the different possible outcoms and all the different reacions Lex might have if Clark ever got the chance to tell him he was pregnant. Clark couldn't stop worrying. Though one thought continuously rang throughout his thoughts. Well...At least this way if Lex doesn't make it-God fobid!-At least this way, I'll always have a part of him here with me...Looking down at his stomach, somewhat more calmly, Clark slowly stroked it gently, whispering softly "I'll always love and take care of you...And no matter what happens...Always remember...Both of your fathers love you more than anything..." A smile slowly tugging at his lips, Clark soon drifted off to sleep by Lex's bedside once again.

The next morning, Clark had been awoken by a greatly more pleasant surprise. It wasn't symptoms of his pregnancy, or the sunlight filing in through the window or the sounds of the various machines around the room that had disturbed his slumber. "Hey, farmboy..." Snapping awake to find the source of the weak, raspy greeting, Clark soon found it and smiled. "Lex!" He exclaimed. Standing from his seat, Clark smiled down at Lex as Lex's face took on a more surprised expression. "What're you doing here?" Lex asked, confused as to why Clark would be with him, considering their last discussion.

Sighing, Clark sat back down and began to recall the events of the night he'd left Lex. "...Well, after I left the mansion, I went back home and did a lot of thinking. Then, I was distracted when the phone rang. They told me you'd been brought here in critical condition and that your Blood-Alcohol Level was through the roof...They also told me you were in a coma...Soon as I heard that, I hurried down here as fast my little ol' truck could manage-" Clark was soon interrupted when Dr. Clay walked in the room. "-And he hasn't left your side since." She added, smiling sweetly. "It's nice to see that you're awake...I've been reviewing your test results and your progress these couple of days...Whatever Mr. Kent's been doing seems to be working, you've drastically improved since the night you were brought here...I'm just gonna put the paperwork in and once it clears, you'll be free to go..."

Clark and Lex both smiled wide at that news. Nodding to Dr. Clay, Clark replied "Thank you so much, Dr. Clay..." Smiling towards Clark, Dr. Clay replied "It's not a problem, Mr. Kent." With that, she turned, her light brown hair swinging behind her, and left the room. Turning back to Lex, Clark stood from his seat and sat next to him on the bed. "It's gonna be so great to have you back..." He stated, trying to feign a smile. Seeing through Clark's mask, Lex noticed something was troubling the young farmboy. A slight look of concern showing in his eyes, Lex asked "Clark...What's wrong?" Sighing slightly, Clark replied "It's just that...Lex, I was wrong to have ever left you...I'm just sorry it took almost losing you to make me realize that...Lex, I was a fool...You were nothing but amazing to me and I left you...You don't deserve a piece of shit like me, you deserve so much better...I'm sorry to have put you through that..." Clark then hung his head, waiting for Lex to agree with him and call him the lowest scum on Earth and tell him to leave.

Even after that explanation, Lex sensed that young Kent boy was still holding something back. However, he tried to push that aside. Sitting up in his bed, Lex gently took Clark's hands in his as he replied gently "Clark, you weren't the fool...I was...I was too blind to see when you needed me the most...I was too blind to see it when you needed someone to be there for you...It's not me who deserves better...Clark you deserve so much better than an ass like me..." Turning to Lex, he saw a look of genuine regret shining in his soft brown eyes. "Lex...Can you ever forgive me for hurting you like I did?" He asked meekly. Smirking, Lex replied "Only if you forgive me for being the ass that I was..." Chuckling, Clark squeezed Lex's hands gently and replied, smiling "Deal..."

After another couple of hours, the young couple was once again interrupted by a young orderly entering the room. Reviewing the clipboard she held in her hands, she looked up at Lex. "Mr. Luthor, you're free to go. The paperwork just went through..." Turning to the orderly, Lex smiled and replied "Thank you..." Nodding, the orderly turned and left the room. When the orderly left, Clark rose to his feet as helped Lex do the same and get ready to leave. Walking out to the truck, Lex's fingers laced with Clark's, taking his hand in his own. Turning to Lex, Clark just flashed him his usual charming smile. As they both climbed inside the truck, Clark started down the road to the Luthor mansion.

As they were pulling into the mansion's driveway, the two young lovers exited the truck and made their way inside. Once inside, Lex noticed Clark had been rather quiet and seemed to be lost in thought. When they made it into Lex's study, Lex moved in front of Clark. Gently forcing his chin up to cause Clark to look him in the eye, Lex asked softly. "What's wrong, Clark?...I can sense that you're hiding something from me..." Gazing into Lex's eyes, Clark pondered asking his question for a moment. Could he really tell the man he loved that he was pregnant with his child? Or that he was an alien, which why he was able to get pregnant? Finally giving into the warm look of concern in Lex's eyes, Clark replied softly, "...I'm pregnant..."

A smirk tugging at his lips, Lex replied "Can't say that I'm surprised...But would you mind explaining to me just exactly how that's possible, Clark?..." Even though he already knew how, Lex just wanted to hear it straight from Clark. Clark just stared at the ground while he quietly mumbled something about being superhuman and being from another planet. However, before he could go into any real detail, Lex just made him face him again as he took Clark's hands in his own and gently whispered "I know..." Clark's face then took on a gentuinely confused expression. "All I ever really wanted was just for you trust me, Clark...For you to trust me enough to be honest with me..." Feeling slightly guilty now, Clark replied "I'm sorry, Lex. It's just that...Everyone who knows my secret has been in serious danger...I just couldn't bring myself to put you in that position...I just wanted you to be safe..."

Understanding his concern, Lex just gazed deeper into Clark's eyes, full of regret. "Clark...Let's make a promise...To always be open and honest with each other..." Smiling at Lex's suggestion, Clark replied "I'd like that..." Smiling, Lex vehemently embraced Clark, holding him closer than he'd ever done before. Clark held Lex equally tight. He was go glad to see things going back to the way they were. Especially in time for the birth of their child. When they finally seperated, Clark noticed the slightest hint of fear written in his lover's face.

Resting a gentle hand on Lex's cheek, Clark asked gently "Lex?...What's wrong?" Trying to hide his concerns, Lex replied "Nothing, it's nothing..." Seeing through his lover's mask, Clark asked "I thought we agreed to be honest with each other?..." Smirking, Lex had expected his lover to use his own words against him. As the smirk quickly faded, Lex replied "It's just that...Well...What if I turn out to be a horrible father?...What if I turn out to be just like my own father?..." Understanding the older man's concern, Clark rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder as he replied "Lex, don't worry. You are nothing like your father. Which is one of many things I love about you. You're going to make a great father. I know you will." Clark smiled as he tried to reassure his uncertain lover. Smiling Lex asked "You really think so?" Chuckling ever so slightly, Clark replied "No..." Seeing Lex's immediately change in facial expressions, Clark added, smiling "I know so...I can see that in you...It's up to you to see it in your self..."

Smiling from the confidence his lover had instilled him, Lex replied "Thanks, Clark..." Wrapping his arms around his smiling lover, Lex embraced him in another vehement hug. "I love you so much, Clark..." Lex added, muffled by Clark's jet black locks. Smiling, Clark whispered gently in Lex's ear "I love you, too, Lex. More than you'll ever know." Pulling away from Clark, Lex then ensnared Clark's lips with his own in a passionate kiss. Before either of them realized what had happened, they were down on the floor, Lex was removing Clark's shirt while Clark was working on the buttons on Lex's dress shirt. When they finally broke the kiss, they just lie there, both panting breathlessly on the floor of the study-Lex ontop of Clark with his hands pinned above his head.

Smiling down at Clark, Lex joked "Come on, let's get you up. Afterall we need to take care of you...I mean, afterall...you are carrying the future of the Luthor legacy with you..." Lex poked at Clark's stomach playfully. Chuckling softly, Clark took Lex's offered hand and rose carefully from the ground. Once both men were redressed, they sat together on the couch in the living room. Turning to Lex, Clark's face took on a more serious expression as he began "Lex..." Turning to his lover, Lex asked "Yeah, Clark?..." Clark sighed slightly as he continued "...There's something I neglected to mention earlier..." Curious, Lex replied "What's that?" Slowly, Clark added hesitantly "Well, when I told you I was pregnant, what I forgot to mention was that Kryptonian pregnancies are significantly accelerated compared to humans. Especially among men...In men, they only last three months..." A smile slowly tugging at the corners of his lips, Lex replied "So?...That just means we get to see our child that much sooner..." Confused, Clark asked "You mean...You're okay with that?..." Smiling, Lex took his hand and replied "Clark, I've already got everything I've ever wanted...You...And now that I'm having a child with you...That just makes it even better..." Listening to Lex's response, Clark squeezed his hands gently and replied "Lex...You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that...And as for me, I've also got everything I've ever wanted...And like you said...Having this child with you just makes me that much happier..."

Their sentimental moment was soon interrupted as Clark winced and grasped his stomach which had grown in size invisibly in pain. Reading the pain written in his lover's face, Lex placed a worried hand on Clark's shoulder as he asked "Clark? Clark, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Clark soon released his grip on his stomach as the sharp pain of four tiny little feet kicking him subsided. Turning to Lex, Clark smiled reassuringly as he replied "Yeah, I'm fine...But I just made another discovery...We're not just having a baby...I'm pregnant with twins..." Lex's face tugged into the broadest smile Clark had ever seen him wear.