A/N: Hello! I was bad... Instead of writing chapter 9 I watched Tomb Raider on TV, so shoot me... or nag me to write, (I would prefer to get nagged, I'm not suicidal. You can also throw vegetables at me if you would like) I've been getting lazy. Ok, from now on, at the end of each chapter that contains an ingredient I will have a random location, fictional and non-fiction, where someone is potato-addicted. And in the epilogue of this story, there will be a little summary of their cure. So if you would like to contribute a location that would be nice. If you would like an explanation on why Shippo and Miroku are getting bashed on the head, and why Kagome is being mad all the time you can ask me NICELY in a review.
Chapter 8
"We're supposed to WHAT?!" Shrieked Kagome
"Yes, you heard me right. We have to go around the world and gather the ingredients. Make them all into a powder, then throw the powders into a giant laundry machine along with your friend for 3 days."
"And how are we supposed to put Inuyasha into a laundry machine?"
"uuuuhh...I don't know?..."
"You don't know! You don't know! I'm going to strangle you! You little munchkin!"
Sango and Miroku hauled a furious Kagome out of the room and decided it was time to help their friend undergo a little anger management. As Barnaby edged away, he firmly decided that Kagome was scary when she was mad.
Later in the office
After running Kagome through a few anger management sessions, Sango and Miroku deemed it safe for Barnaby, or any other leprechaun for that matter, to approach her.
"So...what ingredients are needed?" Said Kagome, just barely, calmly.
"Umm..." Barnaby looked at his list, "We need... A rare 1,752-year-old black pearl from the southern seas of India, the middle toenail from the right hind leg of a boxing Kangaroo from the southern parts of Australia, the fossilized eggs of an ancient 500 year old cricket and the square foot of grass around it from Jamaica, 1 nostril hair from an 8 foot tall water buffalo in the southern parts of Africa ...what?"
"What what?" asked Sango
"It says here that the last ingredient is a rock from the ancient chasm that the evil potato was thrown into."
"Well what's wrong with that?" asked Kagome
"Only that leprechauns are the only ones who can enter and leave alive..." He stopped and looked at the others, who were giving him evil glares, "What?" he asked feeling nervous.
"Well now we know who's going to be getting that item" said Kagome evilly for the rest of her companions.
Barnaby loosened his tie nervously and tried to change the subject. "Yes...well. When do we want to start leaving?"
In the southern parts of India: 2:58 P.M. The next day.
Miroku, Kagome, Shippo, and Sango stood around the shore of India, looking out through the vast plain of ocean.
"So, what are we supposed to be getting here?" Kagome asked the others.
Shippo consulted the list they had made and replied, "We need a rare 1,752 years old black pearl from the southern seas of India. How in the world are we supposed to find that? How are we supposed to dive down there and search for this one clam? The leprechauns are crazy!"
"AHEM!" Barnaby coughed loudly, indignant that Shippo had taken HIS own beautifully crafted list, and had proceeded to insult his clan.
"Well, who volunteers to go down there?" Kagome asked the group. When nobody offered his or her services, she targeted the least suspected victim.
"SHIPPO!" She called extra cheerfully.
Shippo cringed a little and answered carefully. "Yes Kagome?"
"Shippo, you can go there can't you? I mean, you can transform into something, like a fish, and go down there, couldn't you? Please?"
Shippo looked hesitant, not wanting to face his greatest fear under the deep waves. But he wasn't about to admit that he was afraid.
"Okay, I guess so Kagome. Turn into a fish? I could do that! Here we go!"
POP!!!Kagome laughed as Shippo's bushy tail was still attached to his new fish body. However, Shippo noticed and changed completely into the fish.
"Shippo, find the clam and then bring it back up to the surface, okay?"
The fish nodded its little head and dove underwater. However, a few minutes he resurfaced, "How am I supposed to know how old a clam is?"
"Why it's simple boyo. Count the rings on the shell." Said Barnaby
"...okkaayyy..." Shippo once again disappeared beneath the waves.
Shippo dove under the waves. The pressure of the water made him adjust his fish form to adapt to the ongoing pressure. He was surprised, it was so clear down here. Not as murky as he thought it would be. Suddenly he heard the dreaded noise...
Swish
Swish
Terrified he turned around. Sure enough the lean green chomping machine was heading toward him, getting closer and closer, dashing his only hopes that it would not be the dreaded...
"SEA TURTLE!AAAAAAAHHHH!" he shrieked, he tried to escape the monster but ran into a tangle of seaweed...
"AAAHHH! Octopus!" He clawed at the seaweed and ran head first into the mouth of a giant clam. With a click the giant jaws shut. He was trapped!
He took a while to adjust to the sudden darkness, but at least it was away from the horrible sea turtles and confining seaweed.
Suddenly he noticed that inside the clam was a gigantic BLACK pearl!
He lay on his fishy back and began counting the clam's rings...
'one...two...three...four...five...'
6 hours later
'1,747...1,748...1,749...1,750...or was it 1,751? No it was definitely 1,750...ok...1,751...1,752...Yes! I found the right pearl!" With a pop he became a giant pink bubble. Just barely fitting in the clam. With such a big bubble in it the clam slowly rose from the bottom of the ocean to the surface.
Meanwhile, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Barnaby were waiting patiently by the shore for Shippo...Well...maybe not patiently...
"Where is he?" Sango asked impatiently.
"Wait! What's that?" Miroku asked.
"It looks like...a CLAM?!" Kagome asked in a bewildered tone.
It was a clam... and a rather large one at that.
"Can you hear that?" Kagome asked Miroku
"....I think so....doesn't that sound like..."
"Shippo?!" they said in unison. They could faintly make out what Shippo was saying.
"Help! Help! I'm stuck!"
"Coming Shippo!" said Miroku. He jumped onto the clam and proceeded to "wrestle" with it.
As Miroku was wrestling Sango and Kagome stared at his stupidity.
"Ok, I've had enough watching Miroku. Kirara, open that oyster's mouth."
Kirara leaped onto the clam and wrenched the clam apart, sending a pink balloon and Miroku flying onto the ship.
"Shippo! Did you get it?" asked Kagome
"Yep. Righ ere" said Shippo, sticking out his tongue. On his tongue lay the glistening black pearl.
Kagome picked it up and staggered under it's weight. Hefting it up more carefully she turned around and showed it to Barnaby.
"Is this the one?" She asked
Pulling out an eyeglass Barnaby began to examine it minutely. After about half an hour of shifting around uncomfortably Kagome decided she was through holding the heavy pearl and dropped it a centimeter from Barnaby's foot,
"Huh?" said Barnaby groggily
"Is it the right one or not?" asked Kagome impatiently
"Uh huh" muttered Barnaby, "Now let me go back to sleep" he said trailing off into deep breathes.
Kagome stared at the leprechaun in astonishment, which soon turned to rage. Sango and Miroku quickly walked toward their friend as she exploded, "ASLEEP! YOU WERE ASLEEP?!"
Barnaby edged nervously away
"YOU WERE ASLEEP! You stupid midget!"
Despite his current predicament Barnaby huffed in indignation at being called a midget, then suddenly found himself airborne and flailing in water.
Back on the ship, Kagome dusted her hands off, smiling in satisfaction. She grinned even wider when she saw the leprechaun flailing in the water.
"Umm...Kagome?" asked Sango hesitantly
"Yes Sango?"
"Umm...Can we rescue him now?"
".....sure...." said Kagome, "You can decide how" and turned around and walked to Shippo. Looking at the clipboard in Shippo's hands Kagome asked, "What's our next ingredient?"
In Middle-Earth....
"My precious! Precious..." hissed Sam softly as he rolled a spud in his hands, peering at it's goldeny goodness.
"Sam? Sam, are you alright?" asked Frodo nervously
Sam jerked his head up and clutched the potato closer to him, "It's mine my precious!" he snapped protectively,
"Ok, ok Sam, it's yours" said Frodo as he turned around, and with one last worried glance at his friend, went to sleep.
Sam continued to peer at the potato in delight, his eyes bugging out and faintly glowing green.
"We tolds him not to eat nasssty fish and chips didn't we my precious" hissed Smeagol to himself as he crawled away from Sam, shaking his head, "Stupid fat hobbit, should have listened to poor poor Smeagol."
End of Chapter 8
Ok, Any questions you have must be submitted in a review, since my e-mail is most definitely NOT available on my profile page. Okay, and for those of you who are searching for my other fics...Unfortunatly they have all been removed, cause I have serious plot issues. My newest one however, which shall be posted in a few minutes, has a sound plot, and will probably remain on fanfiction. net
Cringe