Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
In case you people didn't notice already, I don't take this fic too seriously. Another thing is that I update every Thursday, so it's become a weekly thing.
WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.
It's PARODY TIME!
GYRAX Presents…
s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 9: She Sells Seashells by the Seashore.
WHAT'S-HIS-NAME: Well, hello there, Miss Kiryu. DAMN! YOU'RE HOT! Sorry, that one kind of escaped.
MIMORI: That's ok. I just came to talk about Ryuho, anyway.
WHAT'S-HIS-NAME: He's a bug, isn't he? What, did he dump you for a condom-headed frilly girl whose only purpose is fan service, but her personality lulls guys like him over to her?
MIMORI: DAYAMN! How did you know?
WHAT'S-HIS-NAME: 73H F0UR7H W4LL! I read this fic all the time.
MIMORI: Then, you have issues.
CLIFFS
KUNIHIKO: WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! No matter what we do, HOLY keeps pwn1ng us! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
KAZUMA: Allow me to put some sense into you. How about I demonstrate to you how I kick someone's ass? (He kicks his ass.)
KUNIHIKO: I see things more clearly now!
HOLY HQ
SCHERIS: ALL BEHOLD MY YU-GI-OH DECK! I AM A NERD, JUST LIKE YOU!
MIMORI: Whatever, condom-top.
SCHERIS: STOP CALLING ME THAT!
RYUHO: Pack up your gear. We're going Native Alter hunting. Also, a new cast of freaks is joining us.
EMERGY: Including me!
RYUHO: Including him. Don't call him that certain three-letter word, or he'll go nuts. Actually, I don't know, but I know there are sensitive people out there, so I won't try anything.
SCHERIS: When you mean "that three-letter word", you mean "gay", right?
(RYUHO slaps his forehead.)
KAZUMA'S DILAPIDATED ESTATE
COW: MOO! PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMMIT!
(KAZUMA stands there, watching KANAMI. A moment of CHEESY TOUGH BISHOUNEN SILENCE ensues.)
KAZUMA: What to do. What to do.
HOLY HQ AT NIGHT
MIMORI: I sense a disturbance in the force. He hath come.
RYUHO: Yes. I hath come.
MIMORI: What for?
RYUHO: Do you like Kazuma?
MIMORI thinks of the POSSIBILITIES: Why, yes I do.
RYUHO: Cut the crap, or I'll have to ignore you again.
MIMORI: Why do you have to be such a meanie?
RYUHO: I doth not see myself in such a manner. (He LEAVES.)
MIMORI take some time for INTROSPECTION: I feel those assHOLYs are up to something.
KAZUMA'S DILAPIDATED ESTATE
KANAMI: I can't believe he has the balls to fool me with a bunch of pillows! I'm so pissed off I could break a window! (She DOES.) Oops.
CLIFFS
KAZUMA: I'm going to trek across the ENCHANTED ALTER FOREST! See ya later!
KUNIHIKO: Have fun killing yourself!
ENCHANTED ALTER FOREST
KAZUMA: DAMMIT! Why don't you let me through?
ALTER ANIMALS: Do you look like Snow White?
KAZUMA: WHAT?
ALTER ANIMALS: Snow White is a hot piece of ass. Why do you think us animals like to hang around her?
KAZUMA: O…k? (He FORCES himself through.)
HOLY HQ
MIMORI: I knew it! Those assHOLYs are up to something.
STRAIGHT: Wassap, MINAMO?
MIMORI: I'm uncovering a conspiracy. Leave me alone.
STRAIGHT: I can help you with that.
MIMORI: I was afraid of that.
LOST GROUND DESERT AREA
EMERGY: Aren't you going to kick my ass, Mr. Native Alter? (He gets his ass kicked.)
RYUHO: I've had enough already. I'm just going to make them all my bitches.
NATIVE ALTERS: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! WE'RE ALL HIS BITCHES!
ENCHANTED ALTER FOREST
KAZUMA: I made it! Ooh, pretty water bubbles.
STRANGE ALTER: Thank you. I doth blew them myself. I hath took some lessons from Spongebob. Now that you hath trespassed upon me, I shalt kick thy ass!
KAZUMA: WAAAARGH! HE DOTH KICKED MY ASS! (He sees a DEAD BEAR next to him.) What the hell? NOOOOOOOOOO! YOGI'S DEAD! I USED TO WATCH YOU WHEN I WAS A KID! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!
STRANGE ALTER: Now that thou hath trespassed upon me, I shalt kick thy ass! (He DOES.)
KAZUMA: Oh yeah? How would you like it when I pull out your backbone? (He DOES.)
STRANGE ALTER: Surprise!
KAZUMA: OMGWTF! (He undergoes a painful transformation, and becomes a hell of a lot cooler.) KICKASS! I'M LIKE A SUPER SAIYAN, BUT BETTER!
STRANGE ALTER: I shalt still kick thy ass.
KAZUMA: Who cares right now? I'M T3H R0X0R!
LATER THAT EVENING
KUNIHIKO: Well, you're still alive!
KAZUMA: Yep! I am 4w3s0m3!
The End, Bee-yotches!
Next Time… s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 10: Remember to Wear Green on St. Patrick's Day!