1A Very Anime Christmas

By: Yamiko #7

Hi everybody! At this point in time, I should be wishing you all a happy 2005...unless you're Chinese. Then I won't be wishing you a happy 2005, year of the...of the...(grabs her Chinese Zodiac reference guide (which is really an old placemat from a Chinese restaurant...I'm pathetically low-budget) and adds 12 years)...year of the Rooster...until sometime in February. Oh well. (Shrugs) Happy New Year, all!

Now that the best wishes are out of the way...I'm going to do something a little OOC. I'd like to apologize for my general lack of fiction for the past year or so. Would any of you believe that school has eaten my life? No? Then how about homework? Chores? Still no? Okay...how about the fact that I'm trying to finish three, no, four different animes at the same time before their assorted due dates roll around? Oh, THAT you'll excuse. (laugh) Shows what all of our interests are, huh? Well, at least understand that I'm trying to survive here, and fanfiction is not exactly at the top of my list. (If I put any hobbies before homework, not only will it turn around and bite me in the ass, but my mother will KILL ME. KILL. With BIG SHARP POINTY BITS OF PAIN. Bad plan, to say the least.) As soon as I finish this one, I swear I'll finish the chapter of FullMetal Alchemist and the Philosophers Stone ASAP. It's just that I wrote it once already and was happy with it, and when my computer spontaneously deleted the second half, I didn't really feel like rewriting it. :shrugs: Sorry. I'll try to get it done soon, promise!

Anyway, back to the work at hand. Has anybody ever tried to achieve anything culinary with five clueless males in the kitchen? Neither have I. All I can say is, good luck Yamiko... n.n

Chapter Three: Oh, Fudge...Literally

Alternate Title: Shorty Works Out His Anger Issues.

"Can I lick the bowl?"

"Sure, Duo." Yamiko grinned. "After I put the batter into the pan."

"Awwww...!" Duo scuffed his heel on the floor.

Yami laughed. "Nice try. It works better if you do this." He reached towards the bowl with the most innocent-looking face he could muster.

Yamiko smacked his hand with the spatula. "Back! And-" She whirled around to face a Yami rubbing his rubber-beaten hand, a Duo trying and failing to make sufficiently cute puppy-dog eyes, a Youko rolling his eyes at the antics of his compatriots and still trying to get over his threefold headache from last chapter, and a laughing Vash. "-The next person to attack my cake without permission before it is sufficiently baked and frosted will be severely beaten!" She realized she was gesticulating at them with a spatula. "With this!" She improvised, waving the aforementioned spatula threateningly.

Yami eyed it warily. "Really."

"Yes. Really. Now go downstairs and see if you can find the marshmallow creme. I don't know how much of a mess it will be down there after Duo's little quest for the chocolate chips." That had been a royal disaster. Duo had somehow missed the fact that the chocolate chips were kept in the freezer (read: he wasn't listening, as usual), and had created a disaster area by the shelves in his search for them.

Despite his status as a "really good cook," Duo had since been demoted from "kitchen worker" to "mere spectator."

"Kind of a pain just for a little bit of fudge, isn't it." Yami was clobbered halfway down the stairs by a flying spatula. "Yeow! What was that for?"

"For insulting my mother's fudge recipe!" Yamiko called down to him. "This is the best darn fudge ever!" She held up her hand as Yami opened his mouth to protest. "Before you start, let me tell you this: there are twenty-some-odd spatulas in this house, and all of them are in this little drawer right in front of me. You already know my aim is good."

Yami blinked. "I...think I'll go get the creme." He turned and galumphed down the stairs.

"Thank you," Yamiko called lightly after him.

"Hey." Youko snapped his fingers as if he'd just though of something. "Where's shorty?"

Everybody just looked at him. Youko was nearly seven feet tall - everybody else was "shorty" in comparison.

Youko rolled his eyes. "I mean the short shorty." He made hand motions indicating a height about the level of his waist.

Yamiko grinned. "That was eloquent." She turned back to her fudge mixture and waved offhandedly towards the door to the garage. "He's out there, working out his anger issues."

Youko, Vash, and Duo blinked, exchanged equally confused glances, and headed towards the garage door to see for themselves. A quick scuffle for dominance left Duo as the designated door-opener and potential target for these "anger issues."

Duo opened the door slowly and poked his head out. After several seconds devoid of violence, Vash poked his head out above Duos, and Youko stuck his out above both of them to watch the spectacle.

Ed was kneeling on the cold cement floor of the garage, a Ziploc baggie full of unwrapped candy canes before him and a rolling pin in his fist. As the three watched from the door, the red-coated anger-issued teenager raised the rolling pin and brought it crashing down upon the poor Ziploc baggie, effectively crushing the doomed candy canes. He did it again. And again. And again, a slightly demonic smile on his face the entire time.

Vash, Duo, and Youko pulled their heads again and, shutting the door quietly, leaned against the door and the two opposing walls.

"Those are some scary anger issues," Vash breathed. The other two just gave wide-eyed nods. All three then raced down to the basement on the pretext of "helping Yami find the marshmallow creme."

Yamiko waited until they were out of earshot before sitting down and having a good laugh at their unwitting expense.

"Yamiko?" Ed entered from the garage, the rolling pin in one hand and the baggie filled with candy cane smithereens in the other. "Where d'ya want these?"

"Give me that -" Yamiko took the rolling pin. "-and put the poor beaten peppermint remains over there." She gestured vaguely towards an unoccupied counter.

"Mmkay." Ed, for once in his life, did as he was told, already dreaming of the white-chocolate-peppermint fudge he had been promised for his efforts. "By the way, if you ever need somebody to do this again..." He turned to Yamiko and grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She laughed. "So whose face were you imagining on the Ziploc this time?"

"The colonel's."

Yamiko whirled around and pointed the rolling pin at him threateningly.

Ed put his hands up in a Don't-Hurt-Me gesture. "Colonel...Mustang..." he said slowly.

Yamiko shrugged and turned back to the fudge already in progress, whirling the rolling pin and tucking it expertly under her arm. "The rest of the guys are downstairs looking for the marshmallow creme. Why don't you go help them?"

"Umm...okay." Ed shrugged and headed down the stairs.

Yamiko put the rolling pin on the counter. Youko, Duo, and Vash had probably told Yami all about Ed's so-called "anger issues." Maybe sending Ed down there with them hadn't been such a good idea after all.

But they kind of deserved it. They had all caused some sort or another of trouble for her over the past two days.

Except for Vash. He hadn't done anything.

At least, not yet.

Yamiko shrugged and went back to her fudge.

Wow, a whole year and I've finally managed to finish another chapter. Woohoo! ...This would be a bit more satisfying if anybody aside from me actually cared. n.-

Oh well. I'm happy, at least. Now to finish up all my other chapters in progress before I get mobbed by people who are actually reading my other fics and actually want more...yeah, all five of you.

There may not be a bit for a while, though…I just finished watching FullMetal Alchemist and I need some time to wrap my brain around the ending. The scary thing is, I understood every bit of it…kowai. O.o

Anyway, until next chapter…Merry Christmas!