Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.
It's PARODY TIME!
GYRAX Presents… s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 12: Kunihiko: Is That a Girl's Name?
KAZUMA: Someone's gonna feel sorry they ever crossed to our turf. I'll bust a cap on someone's candy ass!
MUTE DUDES: That'd be us, foo!
KAZUMA: Aren't you guys supposed to be mute?
MUTE DUDES: Oh, sorry.
KAZUMA kicks their asses.
KAZUMA: Eat fist, bitches!
MUTE DUDES: HA! PH34R OUR MAD VAPORIZING SK1LLZ0R!
KAZUMA: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MUTE, DAMMIT!
MUTE DUDES: Sorry. Mind if we kick your ass. Ok, thank you. They DO.
CONVOY
RYUHO: Kazuma…I must make you my…
SCHERIS: Bitch?
RYUHO: Yes, my bitch…HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY?
SCHERIS: Helloooooooooooo? You kept saying it over and over. You're getting redundant, here.
RYUHO: SCREW YOU! I'm going to get him, NOW!
SCHERIS: What about the poor people?
RYUHO leaves.
SCHERIS: Damn! It aint' even halfway through the series and he's already a Yaoi-istic bastard.
EMERGY: GO, GO POWER RANGERS!
SCHERIS: I thought you were dead, dude.
KAZUMA'S DILAPIDATED ESTATE
KIMISHIMA: Yo, KANAMI! Why you hiding?
KANAMI: I think those assHOLYs are already here!
KIMISHIMA: That's just a load of bull…CRAP! They ARE here!
FIELDS
KAZUMA: Now, it's time for me to exit, stage I-don't-give-a-damn-right-now! He LEAVES. MUTE DUDES follow.
MUTE DUDES: It's Boom-Boom time!
KAZUMA: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIGGIN MUTE! (Boom-Boom time? What?)
EXPLOSION: BLAMMO!
MEANWHILE
POOR PEOPLE: Oooooooooooooooh! Look at the pretty explosions!
HOLY HQ
ZIGMARL: And look at me being boring again.
STRAIGHT: Actually, I'm going to leave this dump.
The AUDIENCE can't leave, so they forced themselves to take SLEEP PILLS.
DESTROYED CITY
MIMORI: Wasn't I supposed to take a plane? What the hell am I doing here?
MUGGERS: We're gonna mug you. So stand still, and enjoy the pain.
MIMORI: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
MUGGERS are suddenly zombified: On second thought, we're gonna leave you alone.
MIMORI: Great. Muggers don't even want my money. Am I that unattractive? Is it my destiny to hook up with that Shotaro Ishinomori reject? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
ASUKA: I jus wanted to help out.
MIMORI: MY HERO
ASUKA: WAAAAAAAAARGH!
MEANWHILE
ILYON: I got you right where I want you, my little piggy!
SOMEWHERE ELSE
KIMISHIMA: We're screwed.
KANAMI: That we are.
ASUKA'S LOVELY SUITE
ASUKA: Hi, I'm Asuka Tachibana.
MIMORI: And I'm Mimori Kiryu. Let's be friends!
ASUKA: Yeah…just friends.
MIMORI: Look! The media's portraying the hero as a bad guy! I never liked the media.
ELSEWHERE
KIMISHIMA: Me, either. Wait. How was I able to talk to her?
CONVOY
SCHERIS: Wouldn't it be cool if we were really able to talk telepathically to people?
RYUHO: This is making less and less sense. AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE TALKING ABOUT KAZUMA?
SCHERIS; Yaoi-istic bastard…She GRIMACES.
HOLY HQ
ZIGMARL: I smell conspiracy.
AUDIENCE: I smell boredom. They take more SLEEPING PILLS.
IN SOME OTHER PLACE
KIMISHIMA: Time for some HOLY bashing bitches! He CHOKE HOLDS a HOLY OFFICER. Come one, come all! I'm going to make a dramatic speech on how great Kazuma is! And you shall all be moved to tears!
POOR PEOPLE: WE ARE ALL MOVED TO TEARS!
OFFICERS: We ain't!
POOR PEOPLE: Then, we should KICK YOUR ASSES! They DO.
KIMISHIMA: We're escaping!
ASUKA'S OH-SO-LOVELY SUITE
MIMORI: I gotta go, too.
ASUKA: Do we have a telepathic connection with people or something?
MIMORI: don't know, but if we did, it would be the coolest thing in the WORLD!
ASUKA: Yeah it would.
DESTROYED CITY
KIMISHIMA: Gotta drop you off here, Kanami! He DOES. He looks back to see OFFICERS after him. DON'T SHOOT MY CAR! GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!
KANAMI: DON'T DIE ON ME, KIMISHIMA!
KIMISIMA: I'm sure I won't!
HOLY HQ
ZIGMARL: Me being boring again.
AUDIENCE tries not to take more sleeping pills, because they're afraid they'd drug themselves. They fall asleep, anyway.
IN THE MEANTIME
KAZUMA: Dammit! Where's Kimishima?
KIMISHIMA: I'm here! Now, I have a plan. Make those Mute Douches vaporize, then use your SSJ powers to blow the vapors, and I'll find the guy controlling them. These guys are just alters, after all.
KAZUMA: You ain't making sense, dude.
KIMISHIMA: JUST FOLLOW ME, DAMMIT!
The MUTE DUDES vaporize. Then, KAZUMA uses his COOL SSJ POWERS to blow the vapor away. KIMISHIMA points his GUN at ONE MUTE DUDE.
KIMISHIMA: FOUND YOU, BITCH! Stand there as I make a corny speech about how great a team we are!
ILYON: Bastards.
KAZUMA: And I'm going to kick these mute dudes' asses, even though they're just the alter, because I'm a dumbass, only when I want to be! He DOES.
KIMISHIMA: YAY! WE WIN! NOW GIMME A PIGGYBACK RIDE!
KAZUMA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! He gives him one, whether he wanted to or not.
DESTROYED CITY BLOCK AT NIGHT
KAZUMA: I'm back!
KANAMI: OH, MY GOD! THEY KILLED KIMISHIMA!
KAZUMA: YOU BASTARDS!
The End, Bee-yotches!
Next Time… s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 13: Lost at the Halfway Point or Some Big-ass Battle