Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.
It's PARODY TIME!
GYRAX Presents…
s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 13: Lost at the Halfway Point or Some Big-ass Battle
INTRO
EXPLOSION: BLAMMO!
KAZUMA: RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWGH! HULK SMASH EVERYOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
HOLY HQ
The 3 cloaked women sit around talking. They wear cloaks because they probably don't like their figure. Such is the sad story of every woman. -.-;
BLUE CLOAK: He's one badass mutha…
OTHER TWO: Shut your mouth!
BLUE CLOAK: I'm only talking about Kazuma.
OTHER TWO: We can dig it.
ZIGMARL: Here's more of me being boring.
GROUND ZERO
SCHERIS: All hail my terrible voice acting! Hear how screwy and half-assed my voice sounds!
URIZANE: Who do you think did this?
RYUHO: That's a dumb question!
URIZANE: You're not going Yaoi-istic on us, are you?
RYUHO: I AM NOT YAOI-ISTIC! By the way, Mutsumi will so sic her killer turtle armada on you if she catches you eating her watermelons, again.
URIZANE: HOLY SH…
KAZUMA'S DILAPIDATED ESTATE
KAZUMA: Don't worry. I'm not going to go on an all out smashing vengeance pretending I'm the hulk while I'm destroying everything in sight while trying to take every single one of those assHOLYs.
KANAMI; Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. And you haven't done that already? AND WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE AN ALTER USER!
KAZUMA: Like I knew how to break it to you without throwing you into a mental breakdown.
KANAMI: I'm not that weak. See, I know you're an alter user, but I'm not going all angsty and stuff.
KAZUMA: That's cool. Well, I'm gonna take this badly mad gun and get the hell out of here.
KANAMI: Don't die on me, Kazu-kun!
KAZUMA: That name…CANTI!
CANTI makes a THUNDEROUS LAND on the ground.
KAZUMA turns and looks back at KANAMI: The name's KAZUMA, don't ever call me "Kazu-kun" again!
KANAMI: Oooooooooooooooooooh!
MEANWHILE
MIMORI: I would like to divulge a plethora of important info, but unfortunately, I'll have to be violently interrupted by an explosion.
ASUKA: I feel you there. (But not that way.)
EXPLOSION: BLAMMO!
KAZUMA: SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!
OFFICER: KILL THAT MOTHERF-----!
KAZUMA: I'M THE HULK BITCH! HULK SMAAAAAAAAAAASH! He does a GARGANTUAN ATOMIC SMASH on the ground destroying EVERYTHING in sight.
SCHERIS: HOLY SH…
KAZUMA: YOUR TURN CONDOM TOP! He GRABS her. Guess what time it is.
SCHERIS: What time is it, NP-too-many-3s-and-2s?
KAZUMA: IT'S THE SCHERIS-BASHING HOUR! (The fangirls will love me for this.)
POW! POW! POW! POW!
KAZUMA'S DILAPIDATED ESTATE
RYUHO: We're looking for KAZUMA. Have you seen him?
KANAMI: You going Yaoi-istic or something?
RYUHO flails his arms about: WHAT WAS THAT! YOU'LL PAY FIR THAT! ZETSUEI, I CHOOSE YOU! ZETSUEI appears. ZETSUEI! DESTROY THAT HOUSE!
He DOES.
RYUHO: Kazuma's dilapidated estate is now Kazuma's ANNIHILATED estate! HA HA! And you're next, Kanami, unless you tell me where Kazuma went!
URIZANE: Wouldn't you get arrested for child abuse?
KAZUMA: Yeah! Wouldn't you get arrested for child abuse? Let my Kanami go, or there will be another Scheris-bashing hour!
RYUHO: YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH HER!
KAZUMA: THEN COME AND FIGHT-O, BEE-YOTCH!
RYUHO: I'M THERE, BEE-YOTCH!
URIZANE: You in love with her?
RYUHO: Yerp. So, am I still Yaoi-istic?
URIZANE: Nope.
RYUHO: Good to hear. I'm outta here. He LEAVES.
KANAMI: Where was Canti when I needed him?
LATER
RYUHO: I'm here. Let's get this started!
KAZUMA: I'll finally make you MY bitch!
RYUHO: HAH! I'M the king of making people my bitch! Don't think you can over throw me!
KAZUMA: I ALREADY HAVE THE CROWN!
RYUHO: ZETSUEI, EVIL STREAMER ATTACK!
MISS!
KAZUMA: MY TURN, BIATCH! He kicks his ass.
RYUHO: DAMMIT! ZETSUEI EVOLVE INTO ZETSUEI!
ZETSUEI evolves.
RYUHO: FIRING FISTS OF FLYING FURY!
ZETSUEI fires his ROBOT FISTS straight at Kazuma's face.
RYUHO: H0WDJ4 L1K3 D47, B14TCH!
KAZUMA: JUS7 4Z MUCH 4Z J00 L1K3 D1S, B14TCH!
They both SISSY-SLAP the HELL out of one another. Everyone gathers to see the FIGHT of the CENTURY.
SCHERIS: If this keeps up, the Earth will shatter into a trillion shards of dirt!
URIZANE: In short, bad things will happen.
SCHERIS: Yerp, bad things will happen.
KAZUMA: J0 M4M4'S S0 UGLY, SH3 M4K3S J04N R1V3RS V0M17 1N D1SGUS7!
RYUHO: J0 I/I4I/I4'S S0 F47, SI-I3'S PR4C7IC4LLY 4 B4LL /I7I-I I-I4IIDS, F337, 4IID I-I34D!
KAZUMA: PR0$Y, PR3P0$73R0U$, PR0$41C, PR373II710U$, PR3JUD1C3D, PR070I-I0I/I1II1D PR1CK!
RYUHO: R3$1DU3-34T1IIG, $L1PSI-I0D, UIIC0II$C10II4BL3, I-IUI/I4II 74DP0L3!
KAZUMA: K1773II-K1LL1IIG, PR07U133R4II7, FR1/0L0U$, D1$$1P473D I-I0LY 73RR0R!
RYUHO: 133DR4GGL3D, 1II$4LU13R10U$/4LK1IIG 13U130II1C PL4GU3!
The WHOLE WORLD shakes VIOLENTLY.
SCHERIS: We're in deep crap, now!
URIZANE: Great going, you two!
ASUKA: L337 Sp34k. It is the ultimate abomination, the quintessential low of human language.
MIMORI: That's nice. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to stand in an unsafe distance form the big battle.
STRAIGHT: JUST GET IN MY CAR, SO WE CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Everyone LEAVES
RYUHO: DIE!
KAZUMA: BEE-YOTCH!
EXPLOSION: BLAMMO!
NEWS: As it stands right now, the whole world is totally screwed up.
The End, Bee-yotches!
Next Time… s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 14: Kyoji Mujo? That Sounds Like Ryoji Kaji!
Now for a treat for you s-CRYING-ed fans!
Episode 13 L337 Sp34k translations:
KAZUMA: YOUR MAMA'S SO UGLY SHE MAKES JOAN RIVERS VOMIT IN DISGUST!
RYUHO: YOUR MAMA'S SO FAT THAT SHE'S PRACTICALLY A BALL WITH HANDS, FEET, AND HEAD!
KAZUMA: PROSY, PREPOSTEROUS, PROSAIC, PRETENTIOUS, PREJUDICED, PROTOHOMINID PRICK!
RYUHO: RESIDUE-EATING, SLIPSHOD, UNCONSCIONABLE, HUMAN TADPOLE!
KAZUMA: KITTEN-KILLING, PROTUBERANT, FRIVOLOUS, DISSIPATED HOLY TERROR!
RYUHO: BEDRAGGLED, INSALUBRIOUS, WALKING BUBONIC PLAGUE!
That's it for the L337 Sp34k Translations. Now, for an announcement:
Starting September 24th, I will continue updating s-CRYING-ed now every Saturday instead of every Thursday, unless you live on the other side of the International Dateline, then it'll be every Sunday starting September 25th. Either way, it'll be on the weekend.
Until next time, ciao!
-GYRAX of the Dark Icon Writers.