Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.

It's PARODY TIME!

GYRAX Presents…

s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell

Episode 15: Our Favorite Poor-Ass Boy


COLOSSEUM

ASUKA: They say in here, alter users fight in an arena, like in "Thunderdome".

MIMORI: I didn't like that movie.

ARENA

(KAZUMA enters the arena all GORGGY-LIKE; his appearance shocks EVERYONE.)

SOME GUY: Let's spread rumors about this guy!

WOMAN: I just SO love clichés.

SOME OTHER GUY: Me too!

MIMORI: This is…HORRIBLE.

ASUKA: Tell me about it. Mel Gibson's nowhere in sight.

MIMORI: Umm, the Mel Gibson you're looking for is dead now; he got crucified. I saw it happen downtown.

(KAZUMA fights some COCKY BASTARD; actually he's letting the guy hand his ass over to him, just to piss everyone off.)

SOME GUY: FIGHT, DAMMIT!

(KAZUMA finally hallucinates and sees his #1 enemy, although the COCKY BASTARD's alter looks nothing like ZETSUEI. He FLIPS.)

KAZUMA: RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWRGH! (He blows the WHOLE DAMN ARENA up.)

KAZUMA: HULK SMASH!

CROWD: YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, BEEEEEEEEEEEEE-YYYYOOOOOOOOOOOTCH!

HOLY HQ

ZIGMARL: You know about that "Portal to the other side" thing?

MUJO: Yup. I've been there; I'm a ghost with a freaky eye. Do I scare you? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!

ZIGMARL: Thos eyes freak me out.

COLOSSEUM

MIMORI: I have a big speech ready about how fighting will eventually lead to eventual ruin and how woman will inherit the Earth. Wanna hear about it?

ASUKA: I'll pretend to, seeing as we have a lot of time to waste.

GANGSTAS: BOO!

ASUKA: "Boo" yourself, you dried up douchebags.

GANGSTAS: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Run away!

COLOSSEUM'S CRAPPY CABINS (Wow! Alliteration rocks!)

BOY: You're the coolest guy, EVAR!

KAZUMA: RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWGH!

BOY: WAAAAAAAAARGH! I peed my pants!

MOUNTAINS

KANAMI: Remember anything about my Kazu-kun?

RYUHO: I already said I don't…

KANAMI: Then allow me to restore your memories for you.

RYUHO: No thanks. It hurts like hell.

LATER

RYUHO: No need to fear, I'm staying her to be your guardian. I will be the angle who watches over you! (PINK SPARKLIES dance around him.)

TOWNSPEOPLE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

HOLY HQ

MUJO: Well, if we're going to arrest Miss Kiryu, then we'll us my man.

ZIGMARL: Excuse me?

MUJO: What? You think I swing that way?

STRAIGHT: It doesn't matter; this freak was just being an a-hole. (He drops MUJO'S MAN on the floor.)

ZIGMARL: You're the man!

STRAIGHT: Yeeeerp! I AM the man!

MOUNTAINS

RYUHO: Life as a poor dude ain't that bad.

KANAMI: Your memory's restored?

RYUHO: No.

COLOSSEUM'S CRAPPY CABINS

ASUKA: Hey, KAZUMA.

KAZUMA: …

ASUKA: HEY!

KAZUMA: …

ASUKA: I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU, DAMMIT!

KAZUMA: …

ASUKA: Screw you then, deaf mute.

MOUNTAINS AT NIGHT

KANAMI: I love stars! You got your memories back yet?

RYUHO: No.

KANAMI: DAMN!

COLOSSEUM

(KAZUMA actually GETS HIS ASS OFF and saves the BOY from GETTING HIS ASS KICKED! IT'S A FREAKING MIRACLE!)

KAZUMA: I'm bustin' dis joint, bitches! But first, I'm getting my pay.

SOME HEAD HONCHO'S PLACE

HEAH HONCHO: I'm a living cliché in the flesh!

KAZUMA: And that's why I don't like you!

EXPLOSION: KABLOOEY!

BOY: Excuse me-

KAZUMA: Take it. (He hands his pay over to him.)

BOY: But-

KAZUMA: RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWGH!

BOY: WAAAAAAAAARGH! I peed my pants!

(KAZUMA leaves.)

NEXT DAY, NEXT DAY, NEXT DAY!

SCHERIS: I FOUND YOU!

RYUHO: If you don't leave my people alone, I shall punish you in the name of the moon, panty-flashing evildoer!

SCHERIS: Excuse me?

The End, Bee-yotches!

Next Time…

s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell

Episode 16: So Kigetsuki! Totally Valley Girl Speak!