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It's PARODY TIME!

GYRAX Presents…

s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell

Episode 16: So Kigetsuki! Totally Valley Girl Speak!


INTRO

SHERRICE: Damn it! Ryuuhou has no memories, and he called me an evildoer! EVEN AN AMNESIAC MAKES FUN OF ME AND MY OUTFIT! I'm going to straighten this out, now!

URIZANE: Whatever.

BANKA: Time to shine, girls!

CHUKA AND SHOKA: HOO-RAH!

VILLAGE

POOR PEOPLE: YAY! NO MORE ASS-HOLYS!

RYUUHOU: That sounds like a good label for them.

CONVOY

UNKEI: THE FANFICTION KING HAS RETURNED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

VILLAGE

POOR PEOPLE: We may be poor, but we're living a better life than you are, lazy bastards.

SHERRICE: Ryuuhou, I want to talk to you!

RYUUHOU: It's the panty-flashing evildoer!

SHERRICE: SHUT-UP! (She grabs RYUUHOU'S HAND and DRAGS him.) You're coming with me, mister!

RYUUHOU: LET ME THE HELL GO!

LATER

RYUUHOU: I'M AN ASS-HOLY?

SHERRICE: And a rich kid, too. (Damn! That Label's contagious!) Add to it we used to be lovers.

RYUUHOU: REALLY? (His EYES widen.)

SHERRICE: Nah. That was just a fantasy I always had. The fangirls hate me for it.

RYUUHOU: Gee, I can't see why.

SHERRICE: Once upon a time, you saved my life. And even when I was ruffled up and living in the streets, I always had that weird hairpiece.

RYUUHOU: Can't you take it off?

SHERRICE: Nope. Anyway, I'm outta here. (She LEAVES.)

LATER

KIGETSUKI: 1t's, l1k3, my gr4nd 3ntr4nc3, 4nd I T0T4LLY g3t t3h b3st 1ntr0 3v4r, Ch13f!

SHERRICE: Excuse me?

KIGETSUKI: T3h f4ng1rls T0T4LLY r3qu3st3d 4n0th3r Sh3rr1c3-b4sh1ng h0ur, b14tch, so I, l1ke, g4v3 th3m 0n3!

SHERRICE: Oh Sh--!

CLOAKED GIRLS: HOO-RAH! HOO-RAH! HOO-RAH!

SHERRICE: DAMN YOU FANGIRLS!

(POW! POW! POW! POW!)

VILLAGE

RYUUHOU: I'm an ass-HOLY?

BANKA: Remember us? We're your personal Harem!

CHUKA: Check our casual attire! Our figures ain't that bad, after all!

ALL 3: HOO-RAH! HOO-RAH!

RYUUHOU: Who the hell are you?

SHOKA: We're your personal harem remember? We had the grandest old times together!

RYUUHOU: BLEEECH!

SHOKA: That's not what I mean, stupid.

BANKA: Dig the photo!

RYUUHOU: I'm magically recovering my long lost memories! YAAAAAAAAAY!

UNKEI: I'M A F--KING LITERARY GENIUS!

KIGETSUKI: L1k3, 1t w4s T0T4LLY 4 c0ll4b0r4t3d 3ff0rt, Ch13f!

UNKEI: Whatever. I AM THE FANFICTION KING! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

KANAIM: I'm gonna break up the part now, if you don't mind! GOOD GOD, THOSE GIRLS ARE MONSTERS!

RYUUHOU: Didn't you learn about tolerance in school?

KANAMI: I NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL!

CHUKA: DAYAMN! Your life must've sucked!

KANAMI grabs RYUUHOU'S HAND: Come now, we need to talk!

KIGETSUKI: W3 T0T4LLY n33d t0 t4k3 4r3 0f th4t br4t, Ch13f!

UNKEI Surprisingly smart-ass for a girl who never had a school to go to.

NIGHTTIME

SHOKA: CAN YOU SAY CHLOROFORM?

KANAMI: WHAT THE HELL- (She's KNOCKED OUT like NOBODY'S BUSINESS.)

(RYUUHOU is met by his PERSONAL HAREM.)

UNKEI: MY FANFICTION HAS BEEN REVISED! NOW THIS WILL BE THE ULTIMATE PAIRING, EVER!

KIGETSUKI: T0T4LLY, b14tch.

UNKEI: WATCH AS RYUUHOU HAS THE TIME OF HIS LIFE, AND MARRIES ALL THREE OF THEM! BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! SURPRISE! IT'S A RYUUHOU/SHOKA/CHUKA/BANKA 4-WAY PAIRING! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

ALL 3: Show us you power!

RYUUHOU: HERE?

ALL 3: Not that power, stupid.

RYUUHOU: Oh yeah…SUPER-SAIYAN MODE, BITCHES!

(The WHOLE WORLD shakes VIOLENTLY. A SUPER-BRILLIANT LIGHT shines before EVERYONE.)

POOR PEOPLE: Oh sh--!

RYUUHOU: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

KAZUMA: It's about time!

Enter SHERRICE: Damn fangirls!

KIGETSUKI: L1k3, j00 b4ck!

SHERRICE: What the hell are you saying?

KIGETSUKI: I went through the lengths of combining l33t speak, gangsta speak, and valley girl speak to form my own dialect.

SHERRICE: And it ain't pretty.

RYUUHOU: KIGETSUKI! UNKEI! In the name of the Moon, I SHALL PUNISH YOU!

KIGETSUKI: I 4m S0 l34v1ng, b1tch3s! (He DOES.)

UNKEI: YOU MEANIE!

RYUUHOU: AND NOW YOU SHALL BE MY BITCH! (He KICKS ASS.)

UNKEI: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! I'M HIS BITCH! (He's DEFEATED!)

SHERRICE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! YOU BEAT HIM!

URIZANE: Now, you're under arrest!

RYUUHOU: Oh yeah, that's some way to thank me.

URIZANE: This whole thing is getting confusing and retarded!

SHERRICE: Who cares? I'm with RYUUHOU!

RYUUHOU…crap.

AIRPORT

KAZUMA: God, I feel like I'm in an RPG.

AYASE: You can say that again.

KAZUMA: Who the hell are you?

The End, Bee-yotches!

Next Time…

s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell

Episode 17: Ayase, the Obligatory Hottie!