Note: I do not own s-CRY-ed, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
WARNING: Reading this load of crap will be detrimental to your IQ. Proceed at your own discretion.
It's PARODY TIME!
GYRAX Presents…
s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 18: Straight Cougar. You Speak too Fast.
INTRO
ZIGMAR: Ryuho's been a bit on the wayside.
MAN (I Don't Know his Name!): Despite that, we should let him do whatever the hell he wants. Just to get out of the subject for no good reason, what do you think of Kyoji Mujo?
ZIGMAR: He's a Mary Sue
MAN: That ain't good.
UPSHIFTED AREA
KANAMI: I'm going on a search for my Kazu-kun.
RYUHO: Not alone, it's dangerous.
KANAMI: I'm stubborn. See ya! (She LEAVES.)
SCHERIS: That's obvious, but I say let her go. Call it payback for giving me this outfit.
HOLY HQ
URIZANE: Tell me what you know.
ILYON: You kidding?
URIZANE: How about a watermelon?
ILYON: I can't eat that. Are you trying to bribe me?
URIZANE: Whaddya think, Buddy?
HELIPAD
MAN #1: THE DAMN CHOPPER'S SO LOUD I CAN'T HEAR SH--!
MAN#2: WHAT?
ZIGMAR'S OFFICE
ZIGMAR: Here's more of me being boring.
KYOJI: And here's me being a jerk.
ZIGMAR: I hate you.
ROAD
STRAIGHT: Blahblahblahdybladyblah! Blahblahblahblahblahblahdyblah! BLAHBLAH!
ASUKA'S LOVELY PAD
ASUKA strains his ass off while pushing a big circular FLOWER THINGIE: DAMN THIS M-----F---ING PIECE OF DINO SH--! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! Oh, and someone wanted to tell you that he found Ryuho.
MIMORI: COOL! (She picks up the FLOWER THINGIE without ANY EFFORT! She carries it out of the house.
ASUKA: …Dayamn.
CLIFFS
KANAMI: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M FALLING, DAMMIT!
RYUHO: UP, UP, AND AWAY! (He SAVES her.)
SCHERIS: you shoulda let her fall. Call it payback for giving me this outfit.
KANAMI: I thought it was suitable for you.
SCHERIS: RRRRRRRRRRRGH!
HELICOPTER
SOLDIER #1: Lock on target.
SOLDIER #2: Target locked, although there's no need to zoom all the way up to her damn eye.
SOLDIER #1: ANCHORS AWAY! (He DROPS a big metal box.)
PLATEAU
MIMORI: DAMN! Did they have to drop that thing RIGHT IN FRONT OF US?
(METAL BOX opens to reveal BIG UGLY DUDE.)
ASUKA: God, he's ugly.
BIG UGLY DUDE: HAMMER!
ASUKA: But I don't have a hammer!
BIG UGLY DUDE: HAMMER!
ASUKA: BUT I DON'T HAVE A F---ING HAMMER!
CHURCH
RYUHO: You're stubborn.
KANAMI: You just found this out?
PLATEAU
BIG UGLY DUDE: HAMMER!
ASUKA: No hammer, but I have a magic bow that shoots pool balls. (He SHOOTS him. A direct hit on his forehead.) 8-ball in the corner pocket, bitch!
BIG UGLY DUDE: Hammer. (He SMASHES him.)
ZETSUEI: FWOOM! Deus Ex Machina Activated!
MIMORI: Ryuho?
: …
MIMORI: Ryuho?
: …
MIMORI: I know it's you, dammit!
RYUHO: So much for playing Enigma. I'll just make this big ugly dud my bitch, now.
BIG UGLY DUDE: HAMMER!
RYUHO: Are you like Timmy or something?
BIG UGLY DUDE: Blagghbrrlaghlagh Hammer!
RYUHO: That answers my question. (He kicks his ass.)
BIG UGLY DUDE: HAMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR! WAAAAAAARGH! I'M NOW HIS BITCH!) (He uses his MAGIC JETPACK and flies away.)
ASUKA: I'm surprised he can fly at his weight.
MIMORI: HUGGLES!
RYUHO: NOT HUGGLES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ROAD
STRAIGHT: BlahdyblahdyblahblahblahblahdyblahblshBLAHDYBLAH!
(BLAMMO!)
KAZUMA: Great. It's you.
STRAIGHT: Blahblahblahdyblahdyblah! Blahblahblahdyblahdy! Blahblahblahdyblahblahblahdyblahdyblah! BLAHBLAHDYBLAHDYBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!
KAZUMA: SPEAK SLOWER, DAMMIT!
STRAIGHT: ICAN'T! BLAHDYBLAHDYBLAH! (He kicks his ass.)
KAZUMA: I hate you.
CAR
KANAMI: I keep dreaming of this guy. I can never identify him, although the audience already knew who it was from the first episode.
AUDIENCE: FIGURE IT OUT!
ROAD
STRAIGHT: Blahdyblah!
KAZUMA: Time to translate.
The End, Bee-yotches!
Next Time…
s-CRYING-ed: In a Nutshell
Episode 19: It's the Three Cloaked Girls! Insecurities Abound?