Chapter 5: Guts

"Have you found him yet?" someone shouted from above, the voice echoing between the ravine walls. Magatsu stopped in front of a bush. In it was a leg.

"Part of him!" he called out. Another guy called from a ledge slightly above:

"Hey, I found an arm here!"

"Swell." Higa grunted. "This is gonna take forever." He was probably right.

As they kept climbing down, picking up limbs and ignoring the bloody lumps of internal organs, Magatsu remembered the kid that had fallen over the edge of a ravine much like this one, back home. He hadn't known the boy that well, but the sight of his body – or what was left of it – had made his guts turn. He'd stayed clear of that ravine for years afterwards.

Funny, though – he had just looked at a torn-off leg in a bush and didn't feel shit.

"I'd leave that," he told a guy stopping to pick up the second arm. "The trunk's gonna be at the bottom, and you don't wanna climb up with that AND an arm, do ya?"

The guy rolled his eyes – a 15-year old kid was telling him what to do and he didn't like it – but dropped the arm.

The trunk was at the bottom, alright. Shit, the climb up would take forever.

"Well hey, I guess his cold sores won't bother him anymore."

"Stupid ass – always had to show off."

"Well, this was his last show."

"Shut up." Higa told the people around him. Everyone turned quiet in a wink. They remained quiet throughout the entire climb.

"We were running among the cliffs, you know, to practice footing and all that. Anyway, this idiot started running really close to the edge. Just to show how brilliant he was." Magatsu snorted. "Not impressed."

Anotsu looked at the body with an expressionless face. Then he dropped the sheet over the face again and sighed.

"Well, he paid for his mistake." His stomach wanted to turn.

"This'll probably make him a helluvalot easier to bury." Magatsu mused. Anotsu managed a slight smile. Maintaining his thoughtful expression, Magatsu's gaze turned toward him.

"Are you OK?"

"...Yes. Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you've got a mangled corpse in front of you, that could be a reason." Magatsu grinned. "I mean, if you're not used to it –"

"I'm fine, Magatsu. Just fine." He'd seen corpses before, clean as well as bloody...but this HAD been a bit much.

The man shrugged.

"OK. Well, I guess I'll leave then. Where's Abayama, btw?"

"He left this morning."

Magatsu stopped. "Left? You're on your own now?"

Anotsu nodded. The Itto-ryu was now his responsibility alone. Abayama had decided he no longer needed his guidance. He should be proud, shouldn't he? Yet, all he felt was nervous. If he didn't pull this through...

"Well hey, congratulations...boss." Magatsu grinned. He actually looked like he meant it.

"Thanks." Anotsu sighed and managed another smile. He waited for Magatsu to leave, but to his surprise, that didn't happen.

"So...you sure you're OK?"

"I'M –" Anotsu cut off the snapping remark. It would only make things worse. Naturally. "I'm fine."

"Then how about going fishing?"

Anotsu blinked.

"Fishing?"

" Yeah. Fishing. You know – hook, line, sinker? I mean, we've been out running all day, so you're not gonna announce yourself as leader until tomorrow, right?"

Anotsu stared at him for a while. Then he smiled.

"No. I guess I won't."

The creek clucked softly. The crickets were singing, along with the wind. Everything was peaceful, lit by the moonlight alone. Magatsu was lying on his back, studying the stars. Anotsu sat, leaning against his own knees, staring into nothing.. Their fishing rods were stuck into the ground, but neither of them paid them any heed.

"Hey." Magatsu said. Anotsu looked at him.

"Hm?"

"What you moping for?"

Anotsu let out a deep sigh.

"I'm just a bit nervous. This is a big step."

"Is it? How much did Abayama help you with?"

Anotsu pondered that for a while. All the decisions HAD been made by himself. Still, he'd always had Abayama there to advise him. If he made a mistake now, it would be his fault alone.

Could he handle this? The sight of the mangled corpse flashed back into his mind. The effect it had had on him felt like a proof of his own weakness. Magatsu had been handling it like it was nothing. Did that mean Magatsu was more a warrior than he was? All those men he trained...if they found out that their leader was weak-stomached...

"Hey, I asked you a question! What you moping about?"

Anotsu gave a start. "Oh. Sorry. I just...I don't know."

"You nervous?"

Anotsu sighed. "Yes. Very."

They shared the silence for a while. Finally, Anotsu gathered the courage to ask, even though he knew he might risk losing what he needed most of all.

"Magatsu...do you think I could handle this?"

Magatsu stared at him, surprised.

"Of course! Why shouldn't you? You're a bloody genius, aren't you?"

"I'm not exactly talking about...strategy. I'm wondering...do you think people will want to follow me?"

Magatsu studied him for a while. Anotsu knew he hardly looked manly, and he had to force himself to stay expressionless during the scrutiny.

"Yeah. Sure."

Anotsu looked at him with some doubt.

"After they've seen you handle that axe of yours, at least." Magatsu grinned a bit. The grin died, though, when Anotsu looked away, and he sighed.

"Listen – isn't it better that people follow you for what you can do instead of for what you look like?"

"Yes," Anotsu whispered, staring off into the night. "I suppose it is."

Somewhere, an owl hooed. They didn't catch any fish that night.