Life has never been so painful. There's a harsh pang in my chest as if a knife has been plunged into it. It's all because I can't get away from my shadows. Everything I do, I think about what's wrong with me. Everyone has something I want. I want someone who will hold me when I'm sad. I want someone to cradle me at night. I want someone to whisper "It will be all right" in my ear. I want someone who won't hurt me.
(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I got lost in the nothingness inside of me.
I didn't want it to be Sakura-chan, contrary to popular belief. I didn't see it being Hinata, either. When I lay alone in bed, crying, I hugged myself. I wanted strong arms to hold me.
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Everyday we waited for our always late teacher. Everyday, I felt eyes on me. I knew they weren't Sakura-chan's. Who else's could they be? Sasuke's? No. He could never like someone like me.
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own
I wanted the owner of those mysterious eyes to hold me. To make the pain go away. The pain caused by so many looks of hatred. I wanted…
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
Could he make me want to…?
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
I know where I belong, but will he let me be there? I just want the pain to disappear.
I let out a scream and cry harder. It hurts more now. I can't push it away. I rip off my sleeping hat and throw it at the mocking window. I feel the stars are laughing at me. The sky is the same color as his eyes.
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down my face
(I was confused)
I calm myself forcefully and get off the bed. I go into the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and pick up the razor that sits in there alone. I run it along my wrist, not trying to kill myself. I just want the pain to go somewhere else. I haven't done this in years and it makes me cry more.
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So What am I)
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, the fault is my own
The next morning, I go to team 7's meeting place. I'm the last person there before Kakashi-sensei. I'm too exhausted to fight with Sasuke or to pretend to flirt with Sakura-chan. I don't even look at them. They probably know something's wrong, but I know they don't care. Just as I'm thinking about their apathy, a strong hand grabs my mutilated wrist and bares it to the world.
"Naruto, what's wrong with you?" the owner of night sky eyes demands. I don't look at him. I don't look at Sakura-chan. I look straight up at the sky, ignoring his question. I can only whisper…
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
"Everything…" I close my eyes and let out a smooth breath. It would be nice to die now. I feel my arm fall limp as Sasuke let's go of it. I look at him to see the hatred. I don't find any and I'm confused. He has tears rolling down his cheeks. Before I can ask about it, his arms are around my shoulder and he is crying into my shoulder.
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything 'til I brake away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today
I blink, not sure why he is doing this. Someone is crying for me, though. He's supposed to hate me. He's supposed to point and laugh at my pain. No one is supposed to cry for me. I find myself crying now. He lifts his head and looks into my eyes. He whispers in reply…
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
"Don't hurt yourself. You're not alone in this world." His words surprise me. I had been alone before this moment.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
His actions surprise me more.
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong
He kisses me gently. All of my wishes come true in that kiss. I am frozen for a minute before I return the kiss. I have my comfort. I am loved. I am…
Somewhere I belong
