Hi, Please Read and Review! I am a first time writer and would like to know what you think...even if it sucks...I would like to improve...thank you

Today is one of the worst days of my life. Today is the day where I have to say goodbye to my brother, partner, but most importantly my best friend. In ways I feel selfish because I know that there are atleast twenty other people feeling the same way. Although I know that I will never be the same person with out him. We spent 10 hours plus every week together after we started Bada-Bing construction and then on the weekends we were always together too because that was the way it is just supposed to be and that's the way it was.

When he first got sick, we didn't realize just how serious it was about to get. He still came to work but limited his hours. We were hopeful and he was even more hopeful. Then he got even more bad news, it was spreading and we thought that he would still beat it. I remember the day he came to tell Mike, Ross, and I that it spread to his brain. The doctors weren't sure what to do. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was a typical Thursday, Mike and Ross came over for lunch, and we were just eating pizza and laughing and talking. I remember thinking about where Joey was and why was he late. I mean he never gives up free food especially pizza. When he came over he looked like he cried the whole way here eyes and face bright red but had a smile on his face. I knew it was a fake smile from the second I saw it. It got really quiet when he came in the room and Mike reached over and shut off the hockey game.

" Hey, look you got the Joey special. Thank God because I am starving!" He said, that was the most faked happiness I have ever heard come out of his mouth.

" What's wrong Joe?" Ross asked warily. He looked Joe dead in the eye. Me, on the on the other hand, was just trying not to think the worst had happened.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

" Yea, okay, that's real convincing." Mike finally spoke. He was always a great addition to our little group, even though he came in late; we love him all the same.

"Tell us." It was a command. I didn't ask him to tell us. I told him to. I knew nothing could be worst then the suspense. I knew he would tell me when I asked because he can't lie to me and he wouldn't lie to me.

" I just got back," he spoke softly with was this head down, " from the doctors. They said it spread again." He stopped and looked at us all. You could tell he was trying not to cry. Trying not to make things worse." It's in my brain, guys, the doctor doesn't know if I can…" the last words never made it out of his mouth.

We all broke down after that. Then he told us that he was going to fight like hell. He promised that he wouldn't quit. That he couldn't quit. That he was going to do what ever was possible to stay here with us. That he wasn't going anywhere.

Just thinking of that day makes me cry. So as I sit here in my bedroom, looking at pictures of all the kids and before any of the kids, thinking of him and how all 8 of us were going to grow old together. Now, a mere four hours, from when I'm suposed to stand in front of hundreds of people saying my goodbyes to my best friend through a eulogy, I will be praying to get out of that church and go back to Phoebe and Mike's for our own remembrance gathering. Where we will all be a million times more appreciative of each other.

The worst part about today is being the one to carry his coffin and watching it sit there as a preach blesses it on last time and says some words. Putting a flower on the coffin and just knowing that's not what he would have wanted. If anything he would have wanted beer but on top of him and meatball sandwiches but I'm not the one planning this thing.

Today is the worst day of my life. If it wasn't for Monica and our kids, I don't know if I would survive. So, as Monica walks in the room and tries to comfort me, because I have started crying again she cries too and reassures me about how great I'm going to be today and how she loves me and how all of us can get through this together because were a family and we all love each other so much.

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