Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will, unfortuanately. Although I do own Brian Kent. :)
Pairings:No one
Chapter Rating: K
A/N: Still not completly finished with this chapter, I have gotten some very good ideas, at least I think, and so at least two chapters should be up soon. But please review!
Chapter 3. Guilt
Same day at the Station.
"Look Olivia you know its not your fault right?" Stabler tried to convince her. Although it didn't really matter cause she would only continue to beat her self up about it. But he had to try anyway.
"Isn't it?" Olivia asked rhetorically.
Six years of partnership and Elliot was only just beginning to scratch the surface. Just beginning to see beyond Olivia's well structured facade. Stabler was determined to find out what she was really about. Whenever he gazed into her deep chocolate eyes he saw such a pain in her that no one should ever now. Never once has he or anyone for that matter, seen Olivia truly happy. Sure she had an occasional smile that lit up a room that she would grace everyone with at certain unpredictable times. No wonder why Brian Cassidy fell for her.
/Flashback/
He remebered that first day. She was just a rookie. Elliot Stabler had been with the unit for almost two years. Of course he regretted even having a partner but as soon as his first foot hit Cragen's office, Elliot was enthrawled with her. As everyone in the office was. John pretty much drooled over her, Cassidy was foaming at the mouth like a rapid dog and Jefferies, well she was glad to have another female in the room. Then came that first deadly introduction.
"Hello detective, my name is Det. Olivia Benson, and your my new partner I presume?"
The way she said it was so funny. She was fresh out of the police academy and the way she put detective before her name. You could almost see her eyes lighting up like wildfire. So enticing and wonderful. Peering from the outside looking at the beautiful woman with the perfectly smooth olive skin, Munch called Elliot out to greet his then happy family.
"Hey El" Kathy said to her husband. Elliot and Kathy embraced each other for a quick while.
"Hey Kathy, I want you to meet my new partner, Hey Dickie and Lizzie." Det. Stabler said talking to his kids in mid sentence. Olivia was standing in the 'background' so to speak, nervous he thought. Slightly touching Benson's arm to guide her to him, she walked a few step until aligned with Elliot.
"Kathy, I'd like you to meet my partner Olivia Benson."
"Its...a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Stabler..." Olivia said, almost trembling. It was as if she could see the burning hatred in Kathy's eyes.
"You too detective, but call me Kathy, Mrs. Stabler makes me sound so old." Kathy finished trying to sound calm and not bothered by anything. As if she had to compete for her husband's affection. But Kathy knew that she already won it, years before. So she shrugged it off and returned to her normal jubilant self.
"Li...livia?" one of the twins answered.
"Hey little fella, you must be Dickie, right?" Olivia asked, bending down to Dickie's level. Everyone noticed she had a natural ease with children and that would always come in handy with certain cases.
"Yep, do you like me?"
"Of, course I like you buddy." Olivia said. At this point, Lizzie had joined her brother by her side. A couple minutes passed and their mother called them back to her side.
"And so that makes you Kathleen?" Olivia said.
"Yeah, nice to meet you." Kathleen added. Everyone was surprised at how the children took so well to Olivia.
From that day it all started. Unknowingly to Elliot though, he never suspected it. Never suspected that what he saw in Kathy's eye was just the slightest bit of jealousy. And he never would, for a while.
/Flashback/
Cragen's Office
"Hey Elliot can you come in here for a moment?" Don asked.
"Yeah Captain."
"What do you need?" Elliot asked.
"Do you know what is going on with Olivia? She has been acting different." the captain asked.
Knowing all his detectives needed a break, especially Olivia, who took no sick days or leave.
"Well she is just having a bad day, she got into an accident this morning and woke up for work a couple of hours late." Stabler finished.
"Accident? What happened?"
"She was driving to the station this morning and hit the back of another car. No body got hurt and the guy let her go only asking for dinner. And the wierd thing was is that she accepted. And I think that must have shool her up a little."
"Well why does she feel guilty about Mike Hayes' death? I know she shot him but she was only defending herself." Cragen finished.
"Yeah and I told her that but that is just the kind of person she is." Elliot replied.
"I know it is, I am going to try to give her time off or put her on desk duty before she burns out."
"Good luck with that." Elliot jokingly said as Cragen called for Olivia to come in next.
"What's up Captain, new case?" Benson said trying to sound alert. But everyone knew she was half asleep.
"Uh, no Olivia, I know your not going to want to but I think you should..."
"Should what captain?" Olivia asked.
"Well I think you should take some time off or just be on desk duty. Your choice which, but how about it?" Cragen asked through gritted teeth.
"Wh...Is this because of me shooting that guy? You think I am like going crazy or something and just gonna go around shooting every rapist around? Cause believe me, if I was going to go off like that. Well I would have done it by now..." Benson paused to think about what she just said, "But don't tell that to Huang." She finished with somewhat of a smile on her face.
Wouldn't that be a funny piece of irony? Me, a cop, being thrown in the cazy house. Puts a smile on my face just thinking of it. It is too bad that no one can ever have a normal conversation with George Huang. He always analyzes every single word you say. One day I started talking to him and ended up being forced to have a long, long, oh and did I mention long, session with him. Not to fond of telling others how I feel. Guess you could say I am like a bottled up thing of...something that's bottled up.
While on vacation I should be able to get to know Brian Kent better. Unless dinner was really only dinner over insurance talk. Doubt it though. I know I surprised Cragen with me wanting to take days off. A girl can only go so long without...without a life. But hey I couldn't go much longer if I wanted to. Last time I ate was, well I don't fully remember. Perhaps it was a day ago. All I am concerned about is sleeping, my eyes are like scratchy sweaters you get on christmas that you pretend you like when you actually hate them. If only there was an off switch to my brain, I could sleep maybe a whole night. If I thought aloud all the time, boy, what rambling would come out. But maybe I will take some of my case files home catch up on the oh so dreaded paperwork. I will just go home and watch some tv, I hope Jag is on, love that show.
"No of course not, and yeah I believe you would have. Personally I wouldn't be too bothered about you going around killing rapists but that stays between us two."
"Well my day just got a whole lot better. Sure I could stand to take some days off. How many can I have?" Olivia asked whick shocked Elliot and Cragen who thought it would be ten times harder than this.
"Um...you can have 2 weeks if you want, everyone knows you deserve it." Don told her."
"Okay great, thanks. I will just get some of my things and leave now alright?"
"Sure we will call you if we need you for anything, but only as a last resort okay." Cragen said thinking that he could of phrased that differently.
Understanding Olivia left Cragen's office with her partner.
"Well, see you in a week or two..." Benson told Elliot before he cut her off.
"A week or two? You are supposed to take two."Elliot replied.
"Yeah, well youknow me. Busy little bee.And besides what are you trying to do kick me out?" Olivia finished as she gatered her blongings and left for her apartment.
Munch andFinjust walked in from where ever it is that they came from.
"Where is she going?" Munch asked Elliot.
"Cragen gave her some time off, and get this she actually took it." Elliot said.
"Well Baby Girl deserves it." Fin put in when phones started to ring and the detectives went back to work.
I feel Ishouldadd something here but I don't know what...so for right now this is all.
Cory