Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
"…" Speech
bold Parseltongue
italics Thoughts
Chapter 8:
The next day the second year Slytherins had their first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. It far exceeded Harry's expectations.
Entering, he had to resist the urge to gag, as he was faced with hundreds of Gilderoy Lockharts. Smiling with blindingly white teeth from the walls, winking from the many book covers filling the room and, once the students had finished fighting over the back seats and had settled down, the real thing came striding dramatically to the from of the class, his blond hair gleaming and contrasting perfectly with his bright blue robes.
"Welcome to Defence Against the Dark Arts!" he beamed. "I am Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin third class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award, but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"
He flashed them a cheesy grin, obviously expecting applause, but was instead rewarded with blank stares. However, he continued his speech.
"In this classroom you will face your worst fears, as it is my job to teach you youngsters how to defend yourselves against the evil creatures that prey off our society. None of you will ever show such daring and expertise as I do, of course, but do not despair! I will always be there, dedicated to making our world a safer and better place."
He struck a heroic pose, making sure to show his profile at the best angle. The thunderstruck silence was broken by Millicent snorting loudly from ill-suppressed laughter.
"I think I just lost a couple of brain cells during that speech," muttered Harry as they all stared at their teacher in morbid fascination.
Lockhart continued blithely on.
"I have here a small test, nothing to worry about. I only want to see how much of my books you understood."
"Wonderful combination; he's an insane megalomaniac, and he gives tests on the first day of school," whispered Pansy with a sneer. Everyone else just groaned.
"Right then," said Lockhart, clapping his hands together and smiling round at them. "You have thirty minutes to complete the test. Start now!"
Grumbling, Harry looked down at his question sheet, then stared in disbelief.
He nudged Draco.
"Listen to this, 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?' Oh, and 'How many of Gilderoy Lockhart's books have been sold in Great Britain alone?' How much more self-obsessed can you get?"
"The man's completely psycho," declared Blaise from her seat next to Harry. "Read Question 3, 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?' If it's a bloody secret, how the hell are we supposed to know about it?"
Harry didn't answer, as he was busy reading over Draco's shoulder as the blond read the question 'What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest ambition to date?' and then happily wrote 'Walking and talking at the same time.'
Utterly incredulous, the Slytherins glanced at each other, muttering in derisive voices, while Millicent was by this time hysterical with laughter.
"Sir?" drawled Louisa, raising a carefully manicured hand. "How exactly is your favourite hair care potion relevant in a Defence class?"
Lockhart's self-important expression faded slightly before he plastered on a sickening grin which he mistakenly thought was dashing.
"Now, now, just answer the questions."
"But-" started Theo.
"You're a very clever and eager class," he hurriedly interrupted, "So as a bit of a treat, next lesson we'll do some role playing!" He gazed round triumphantly. Eight horrified faces stared back at him.
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"I have the inexplicable urge to stab myself with a very sharp implement," said Theo slowly, after they had escaped from the class room thirty minutes later. He had a haunted look on his face.
"His smile," shuddered Pansy. "He managed to make his bloody teeth shine at us even when he was talking!" Louisa laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Can you believe the man's ego? It's bigger than Draco's!" exclaimed Blaise with a horrified expression.
It was proof of how dazed the lesson had made them all that Draco did not react to this slur. Even Crabbe and Goyle were more gormless than usual, something that Harry had previously deemed to be impossible.
"I vote we revert to our plan," said Harry firmly. "Who's in?"
Unsurprisingly, the vote was unanimous.
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After an excellent lunch, Harry's brain felt partly revived from the earlier torture, so when he saw the Weasley twins exit the hall he quickly followed, leaving Blaise narrating horror stories involving Lockhart as the evil monster to the terrified first and third years.
"Fred! George!" called Harry, abandoning his Slytherin image and sprinting to catch up with them.
"Hello, Harry," said Fred stiffly, while George merely nodded, but they did not seem as angry as Harry had expected.
"Look you two, please talk to Ginny," said Harry, coming straight to the point. "She's miserable without her family and needs support."
"She's a Slytherin now, she doesn't need us," scowled George.
"Is that what this is about?" asked Harry incredulously. "You're pissed off with her cause she's not under your control anymore? Or is it that getting placed in Slytherin automatically turned her evil."
"No, of course not," sighed Fred. "But…well, she is a Slytherin. She went against centuries of family tradition and-"
"For Merlin's sake, since when did tradition mean anything to you?" interrupted Harry in exasperation.
"I don't know her anymore, that's the problem," said Fred slowly. "Slytherins are the complete opposite of us. If we're happy or sad or angry everyone knows it but you lot… you wear masks that we Gryffindors could never penetrate."
"Don't be idiotic," snapped Harry. "One word from a deranged hat doesn't change a person. Ginny's the same as she always was, just less happy because her brothers are being obnoxious gits."
"No, it doesn't change someone, but it has shown that we, her family, never really knew her."
"Really, how did you come to that conclusion," sneered Harry.
"All her life she's been…well Gryffindor. She hasn't been cunning and manipulative, she had no ambition. But now she's in Slytherin House, and it shows that she's been hiding her true personality all her life."
"You're insane," stated Harry firmly. "Ginny's so artless and naïve that she would be ripped to shreds if I didn't protect her. She's never hidden her character from you."
The twins made to interrupt, but Harry determinedly kept talking.
"You say she was not manipulative, but then how did she always manage to prank someone but avoid punishment? You always complained that everyone blamed you for some disturbance when she was the main perpetrator. As for ambition, she's determined to be rich, but is that a crime? Coming from a family like yours it's completely understandable. Ginny got into my house because of traits that were always there for you to see."
The twins were silent, but shifted slightly in discomfort.
"Talk to her," repeated Harry.
"Ok, we will," sighed Fred eventually, George nodding in agreement. "You're right, I know that," continued Fred. "It was just a shock, you know? None of us had ever even contemplated the possibility that our baby sister was a Slytherin."
"And will you try and convince your brothers?" asked Harry hopefully. He was reluctant to approach Percy, who was a prefect and therefore could take off points, or Ron, who was the most hot-headed of the family. However, the twins shook their heads.
"Their reasons are different from ours."
"Yeah, Ron's being a right prat, babbling about evil, slimy Slytherins and betrayal of the family," said George in disgust.
"He's taken it very seriously," agreed Fred. "As if it was a personal slight."
"And Percy?"
"Oh, perfect prefect Percy seems to think it's a slur on his immaculate record. The few words he's said on the subject were all related to how it will effect his future job applications."
"Bastards," sneered Harry.
"I agree with you one hundred percent," shrugged George. "But Gred and I have long ago given up bashing sense into them as a hopeless case."
"Bill and Charlie don't really give a damn though," said Fred cheerfully. "They've been out of school so long that house rivalries don't matter, and they've always been more laid back. And I'd say Mum's howler was just a 'heat-of-the-moment' thing. She was raging when she first heard, don't really know why, but she's almost definitely cooled down by now and will be sending a tearful apology any second."
"And Dad'll do what Mum tells him," finished George with a grin.
"Great, Ginny will be ok, then," said Harry in relief. "Glad you're not as insufferable as I thought," he added with a smirk.
"Hey!" protested George, but he laughed.
"By the way, Harry-old-pal-old-thing," grinned Fred. "Why are you so concerned over our darling little sister? There's nothing inappropriate going on, is there?"
"Cause we may have to punch you if there is," said George solemnly, joining in.
"I'm helping because she won me ten galleons on her house placement," drawled Harry with a smirk. "Well, it was great having this chat, but I've got to go. Nefarious plans to be carried out, I'm sure you'll understand."
He slipped down a side passage, leaving the twins gaping after him in shock.
Laughing to himself, he headed down to the dungeons, nodding greetings to passing Slytherins. He passed the common room entrance without pausing; moving deeper under the school navigating the maze-like corridors without faltering. After many twisting staircases and lethal traps, (the dungeons were littered with dangerous curses to prevent potential prisoners from escaping) he came to a patch of wall marked with a small engraving of a snake.
-Open- he hissed, his eyes glowing slightly in the light coming from the candelabra. The stone shimmered out of sight, revealing an archway which Harry briskly walked through. He strode down the narrow passageway until he reached a spacious and luxurious room. Green hangings hung from the walls, bookcases lined the room, and everlasting fire burned in the ornate fireplace.
Harry had found this hidden place, along with several others, in his first year. He guessed that they had been built by Salazar Slytherin as they were all only accessible to parselmouths. Other students, probably heirs of Slytherin, must also have found the secret rooms, however, as they seemed to have been added to over the years. The swimming pool in the west wing of the dungeons was much too modern, and some of the books in the library were too recent. But Harry knew that he was the only person able to enter at this point in time, seeing as Voldemort, the only other parselmouth in this century, was…indisposed at the present moment. Well, he was the only human able to enter, as Nemesis passed through without a problem. Harry grinned slightly as he saw his snake lying curled up in one of the armchairs.
-Isis- he hissed, prodding her softly.
-Go 'way- she hissed sleepily in return, curling up tighter.
-Wake up, or else I'll cast a freezing charm on you- he retorted smoothly, knowing how much the snake detested the cold.
-Fine, fine, but you're evil- she hissed grumpily. –Now what do you want?-
-Did you hear anything useful from the other Slytherins?- asked Harry. He had sent her to spy on the seventh years, wanting to know what the hell was going on. The tense atmosphere and rumours were making him slightly uneasy.
-No- Isis hissed, slithering to Harry and settling herself round his neck. –There were a lot of conflicting ideasss, and they all ssseemed to be lying -
That was one of the many problems in Slytherin. Slytherins always avoided the truth as much as possible, therefore often making spying fruitless.
-But the whole thing definitely centresss around Malfoy and, according to Melanie Rookwood, involvess the Dark One as well- hissed Isis lazily.
-Voldemort? Again?- Harry was horrified, but slightly sceptical. –How could she know that?-
-I don't know. However, I got the impression she just let the info slip so as to watch their reactions-
That, thought Harry, was highly probable, as the seventh year prefect enjoyed creating havoc and watching the results.
-Well, keep an ear out for more information, would you?- said Harry, deciding to abandon the allusion to a connection to Voldemort for now.
-Yeah, yeah- hissed Isis irritably. –Now take me to the Great Hall; if I can't sleep I'll eat instead.-
-You- noted Harry, getting to his feet, -must be the laziest and greediest snake around-
-Maybe, but chocolate pudding is just so delicious-
-And you eat way too much of it, you're so damn heavy- scowled Harry, feeling her weight around his neck. –And I'm the one that has to carry you around.-
-That's what humans are for- hissed Isis complacently. –And anyway, if I'm spending my time spying for you, the least you could do is be my personal transportation-
-Huh, that's not a very fair trade in my mind-
-That's because you are an idiot.-
Next time he got a pet, Harry decided, he'd get one that couldn't talk.
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A/N Hi again! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and thanks to my wonderful beta-reader CeruleanAsphodel, who's given me loads of good ideas for this fic.
Okay, PLEASE READ THIS! The sixth book messed up a few of my ideas, most of which are definitely fixable. I might have to change a few things in my earlier fic, but I'll let you know when I do. But one problem is that in J.K's book, Harry and Ginny get together. That's a pairing I was going to avoid, (instead have Harry/Blaise and possibly Draco/Ginny) but now I'm not so sure. If people could leave reviews saying which paring they'd prefer (Harry/Blaise or Harry/Ginny or Harry/Other) I'll probably pick the one with the most votes. (but I'm not promising anything.) Well, I thanks! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Moredi: Uh, cool, thanks. Do you have a weird split personality or are you actually two people?
Sean Mulligan: Ok, so I'm not making the Weasleys evil or anything, but they do tend to act first and think later. And Draco's an obnoxious rich kid and has a blood feud thing going on with the Weasleys, so of course he'd insult them. Just don't take his insults as proof of the personalities of all the other Slytherins. Blaise, for example, has nothing against muggles or the Weasleys. And right now they're still quite young, and therefore more likely to agree with their prejudiced parents, but gradually they'll become slightly less insufferable. But yeah, J.L Matthews fics are brilliant, and I'm perfectly willing to admit they're better than mine. I'm not pretending to be a first class writer, I'm just doing this to have fun.
Firebirdgs: Yep, I'll do all the books, but it will probably take me a while as I'm often really busy. Yeah, H/B is a pairing I'm leaning towards, but I'm not certain. Possibly D/G, but not for a while.
Ryudo: Sorry about that, but even if I do have D/G, it won't be for ages, so you're safe for the next three books or so.
Wolfzmasterz: Thanks, glad you've enjoyed it. Just to clarify, Harry didn't find the actual Chamber of Secrets, he just found separate passages that need Parseltongue passageways, but there are no dangerous snakes lurking about!
Treecat: I agree with you.