Due to Valentines Day happiness, I'm focusing on the romance in this story, so I'll leave you to wonder about Alanna's catastrophe a bit longer…
(Jonathan's Diary)
12/30
It has been seven days George accidentally let slip that Alanna's affections weren't sincere. She was the first lady I was actually coming to love, for her wit and charm rather than beauty, not that she isn't beautiful. But now I see that it was all false. George insists that she felt she owed me for saving her life and so pretended to be in love, but I see now that she is just like the others, craving my power. She doesn't know the pain of rejection, of being loved for your power and not yourself. No women do.
I have taken up courting the Lady Delia, who is pretty and clever enough. I admit, though, I am using her to make Alanna jealous. She will never match Alanna in wit, and is far too clinging. But of course, Alanna does not care in the slightest. She has already moved on to Sir Andechéque, serving as an ambassador from Galla. I find him rather dull, but I suppose that Alanna sees but the challenge of winning his heart as she won mine. She is a mindless whore, and I am through with her.
Jonathan
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Alanna woke up in a foul mood the next morning. First of all, it was still winter. Winter was Alanna's least favorite month, and the heavy snows would prevent her from leaving until it was well into summer. But then again, she couldn't leave. Or rather, she wouldn't leave. Her leaving would mean Thom's death.
She was also very tired. She had stayed up late arguing with Duke Roger, and cried herself to sleep. After a fitful rest, she had to get up, because she had to get another gown fitted for tonight. And it was only the second night of midwinter. And then there was Jon. Scowling, Alanna yanked on a simple shirt and breeches, pulling a tunic over the shirt. She pulled her hair up under a hat and stomped off to the practice courts, leaving a note on her desk for the Daughters saying that she would be back in an hour.
As luck would have it, Jonathan was also waiting for an opponent. Maybe I can teach the a thing or two, she thought miserably, loosening her sword in its hilt. He approached her. "A duel?" His polite voice sounded strained. With relief, Alanna realized he hadn't recognized her. She nodded curtly.
Moments later, they circled each other. Alanna had watched him before and knew he was good. But so was she. She was only vaguely aware of the ladies, Delia among them, who looked on.
Jonathan made the first move, diving deftly towards her. Her blade met his with a clang. She swung it around towards him again, and he blocked it only just in time. Several of the ladies applauded and Alanna rolled her eyes. She thrust her sword towards his chest. His sword met hers.
It went on like this for another half-hour at least. Finally, Alanna knocked the sword out of his hand and lay hers at his throat. After holding her blade there for a few moments, she released him. Fetching his sword, she handed it to him, bowing.
"Who are you?" he asked, squinting at her as though he almost knew. "We've met, haven't we?"
"I…cannot say, Majesty. But I must be going…" She bowed again and half walked, half ran back to the castle. She had stayed too long and she didn't want him following her, for fear that he would recognize her.
She made a short cut through the gardens and winced as she heard footsteps on the gravel behind her. Walking faster, she glanced behind her and saw that it was, indeed, Jonathan. She had to stop before he tracked her to her door.
Turning around on the path, she met his eyes fiercely. "Excuse me, Majesty, but I don't have time to talk."
"Who are you? I've met you before!" he insisted.
"No, I can't say. I must go…" He walked towards her, eyes narrowed. In one swift motion, he pulled off her hat and her hair spilled around her face.
"Alanna?!"
She clutched her hair, as though if she held it tight enough it would disappear. It didn't. "No - I…"
"What are you playing at?" His voice had grown cold and menacing. "Haven't you hurt me enough? Do you even know what it feels like, to be used?"
"You think you've been used? I came back from…well, and you had completely forgotten about me."
"You were the one that was being insincere! I thought you actually respected me, loved me as I loved you."
"I do." Whatever Jonathan had been told about her, however true it might have been, this was truer. She pushed passed him, tears running down her face, running towards her chamber. She would be safe from him there. He could demand that she open the door, but that didn't mean she would. She had to reach her room…
He caught her arm. She struggled to pull away, but he held fast. "Let me go!"
"Alanna. I love you." He pressed his lips against hers.