Disclaimer: I don't own anything OTH related

Chapter 14

Ever since they got into her car that morning, Peyton had been quiet. She was excited to be going to Wilmington and to spend the entire day with Lucas, but she couldn't help but feel guilty.

Flashback – the night Jake came back

"Peyton..." Jake shifted his body towards her. He gently lifted her chin to face him, "I wish I could have been here for you,"

Peyton smiled.

"I love you," he said and gently kissed her.

When his lips touched hers, she was surprised and her reflexes caused her to pull back. Jake looked at her a little surprised and more hurt.

"Sorry," she blushed.

"No, I am, I just thought..."

Peyton's lips stopped him from finishing his sentence. She kissed him with everything she had - trying to feel something, but she didn't. What she had once felt for this boy wasn't there anymore. Peyton broke the kiss again.

Her eyes looked down and away from him. She felt his finger under her chin, gently lifting her gaze. Reluctantly she let her eyes meet his. His eyes were full of hope.

"Peyton, before I left I told you that I wanted you to move on and forget about me, but I lied,"

"Jake…"

"You know, I was scared to come home because I thought that you would have moved on… especially after spending an entire summer alone with Lucas…but hearing that the two of you were just friends… I'm just so relieved. Peyton, I love you. I want to be with you,"

"I can't Jake, I'm sorry," she pulled away from him, holding back her tears. Being with him again would be so much easier, but it wouldn't be fair to him. She could pretend to be in love with him when she wasn't. It would break his heart even more to find out that she was lying all this time,"

"Ok…ok. I can wait,"

"No, you don't understand. Jake, you're a great guy and I love you. I really do. When I was with you I felt things I never thought I would ever feel again,"

"Then what's stopping us?"

"Me,"

"I don't understand,"

"I gave my heart away a long time ago and he still has it,"

"Luke…"

"I'm sorry, Jake,"

Jake sighed. His own heart fell. But it was inevitable. Everyone knew that Peyton and Lucas had some sort of connection. Even when they were apart, it was still clear that their feelings for each other never died.

"Don't be sorry, it's the way you feel," his smile covered his aching heart. "Mind if we go get something to eat? I'm starving,"

End Flashback

"Hey," Lucas softly called out to her.

She snapped out of her thoughts and smiled at him.

"You've been quiet,"

"Sorry,"

"Nah, it's ok…you want to talk about it?"

"Before you came over…Jake showed up,"

Flashback

There seemed to be an extra bounce in Peyton Sawyer's step as she entered her house that night. She couldn't help but feel like a teenager in love because that's exactly what she was – a teenager in love.

As she came up the stairs, she saw her bedroom light on. Peyton didn't think twice about it since she always left at least one light on in the house when she wasn't home. From the top of the steps, something in her room caught her eye. Someone was sleeping in her bed.

It was Jake.

She really had to start locking her front door.

Her giddy feeling disappeared. Peyton tucked a loose curl behind her ear and crammed her hands into the back of her jean pockets as she stood in her bedroom doorway. She wanted to be honest with Jake about her new relationship with Lucas, but didn't exactly know how to say it. She didn't want to hurt Jake's feelings and knowing that his feelings for her hadn't changed over the summer, it was going to be hard.

Jake's eyes flashed open. For a moment he had forgotten where he was and looked around the room. That's when he spotted her, "Hey," he smiled.

"Hey,"

"Sorry, I was just waiting for you and I guess I must have dozed off…"

"Its fine," Peyton crossed the room to her desk, increasing the space between them, "so, what did you want to see me about?" She sat down on her desk and rested her feet on her chair.

Jake got up off the bed and happened to glance at her alarm clock. 5:03 AM it read.

"Did you just get home?"

Peyton looked down at her hands.

"Sorry, it's not my business,"

"Jake what are you doing here?"

He made his way across the room and was now standing in front of her, trapping her in her corner.

"Peyton, I know I said that I was ok with this, but I can't stop thinking about you…is there anyway I can change your mind? I mean we were happy not too long ago…maybe if we spend more time together…"

"I was with Lucas tonight," she finally blurted out, crushing his hopes. "We finally talked and…"

He was too late. Jake saw the happiness in her eyes as she talked about her Lucas. It was his own fault. He asked her to move on and she did. Why couldn't he have been selfish and asked her to wait for him? Why did he have to let her go?

"You're happy aren't you?"

Peyton nodded and she blushed, "Yeah, I am,"

That's why.

End Flashback

"Jake's a good guy and so much has happened to him. And I know he seems to be taking it well, but it just sucks that this had to happen to him, you know,"

"I know you really care about Jake and you guys got really close…"

"What are you trying to say Luke?"

"Are you…are you having second thoughts about us?" Lucas nervously asked.

"What? No…never. This is where I want to be…where I should be,"

He was glad to hear her answer because he felt the same way. Lucas took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at her. He reached out for her and wrapped his arm around her. She scooted over and let herself lean into his body.

"But we still have a long way to go, Luke,"

"What do you mean?"

"Just because Jake will be ok with us doesn't mean Brooke will. Lucas I don't want to lose her again,"

"I know," he sighed. Lucas placed a kiss on the top of her head, "But I don't want to lose you again either,"