Ginny felt selfish worrying about what she might have said about Dean in Harry's presence. And Dean himself had visited Harry on several occasions.
Gradually Ginny was spending more nights at home than comforting Harry and a part of her still felt guilty for leaving him alone.
Harry ached to be outside. It was June now and the weather was quite pleasant. He was sure that his dismissal from St. Mungo's would be any day now. He wasn't exactly sure where he would go, but he was glad to have good friends like Remus and a family like the Weasley's and Hermione to care about him.
As Harry sat eating a grilled cheese and tomato soup one afternoon he couldn't help but notice Ginny's odd behavior. She flittered about the room tidying up and un-necessarily smoothing the bed sheets.
"What are you on about?" Harry joked, trying to sound a bit more cheerful than he really felt. It had been an exhaustively long night without Ginny.
"Oh, me? Er, nothing." Ginny's reply was smug but nervous too. She knew something. She toussled his hair, leaving it looking no worse than it had before. Ginny had given up 6 years ago on tidying that hair.
Harry pushed the table away with his food tray on it. "You're a horrible liar Ginevra Molly Weasley." Harry declared, grabbing Ginny as she skirted around the bed and pulled her down into his lap.
"Harry!" Ginny squealed as he zealously began tickling her ribs. "Stop!" She gasped between squirms and rounds of laughter.
"Nope, not until you tell me what's going on."
Ginny smiled mischievously and stretched out across his body before curling up against him. "You'll find out soon enough."
Harry scrutinized her from behind is glasses and deftly slid his hand under the hem of Ginny's shirt and resumed tickling her.
This was the first time in 5 years that their skin had been in such intimate, physical contact. It brought back an abundant rush of recollection from Ginny... The first time she had kissed Harry. So innocent and sweet and Harry hadn't even seen it coming. She'd caught him so off guard, but when Harry started kissing her back, she thought she'd died and gone to heaven... The first time she let Harry reach under her Hogwarts' jumper as they laid on the couch in the middle of the night in the Gryffindor Common Room...
With the feel of Harry's touch, Ginny's mind rapidly came back to the present. Oh Merlin. Ginny thought, closing her eyes and leaning back against Harry's chest. His hands are about 1 inch from my - "
"It's good to see you haven't lost your spunk, Potter."
Harry hadn't been reprimanded by that voice in 5 years, but recognized it immediately.
"P-Professor McGonagall?" Harry sputtered, giving Ginny a gentle push off his lap.
Ginny didn't need the push to move away from Harry, she was already scrambling to move. She knew who else was coming in.
"Miss Weasley." McGonagall added with a curt nod, her eyes held a flash of contempt.
A smile stretched across McGonagall's thin lips, "It's good to see you Harry."
Harry made an instinctive attempt to neaten himself. She had, after all, ingrained it in them in the first place. "You too Prof- well I guess it would be Headmistress now."
McGonagall nodded again. "Yes it would be."
Harry always knew that she would make a fine Headmistress when she succeeded Dumbledore.
"You have other visitors as well Potter." McGonagall declared, interrupting this thoughts.
A small group of familiar faces filed into Harry's room bringing tears to his eyes. Ron and Hermione were there, along with Neville, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, and Dean.
Words couldn't begin to describe the feelings that soared inside him. Harry didn't know that all of them had survived the final battle, but was thrilled to see them all together. He rose from the bed and looked himself over modestly before gazing over at his smiling friends in their fashionable clothing. They had aged. He could see it now. Time had indeed passed. They all looked wonderful, sucessful, older, but happy.
He ruffled the back of his hair sheepishly and blushed a warm shade of red.
"Er, thanks for coming everyone, it's so good to see all of you." When Harry broke the ice the old friends crowded around him as if he'd just beaten Slytherin on the Quidditch Pitch.
Professor McGonagall smiled silently from where she stood overseeing her former pupils. She removed 3 scrolls from the inside of her robes.
"Potter, these would have been sent o you via owl, but under the circumstances I personally though it best to keep them safe"
As Harry grasped the rolls of parchment from McGonagall's outstretched hand, he definitely had his suspicions about at least 1 of the documents. Remembering he no longer had a wand, he found 9 hands reaching out to him offering their assistance.
He smiled complacently and closed his eyes lightly. Focusing all his energy, he split open the seal of the first scroll.
"Wicked!" Ron proclaimed, a look of sheer amazement blazing across his face.
Ginny gasped too. "Harry, when did you realize you could still perform wandless magic?" She looked proud but surprised.
He shrugged nonchalantly, looking around at the other faces. "I've been trying Accio and Wingardium Leviosa for the better part of a week."
"Good to see you've still got it mate." Dean offered, chuckling in disbelief.
Harry opened the scroll, noticing Ginny glancing oddly at the familiar faces. He'd make a point to ask her about it later. Unrolling the paper, he saw black ink seeping across the parchment.
It was a letter from Dumbledore.
Harry wasn't really sure if he should read it now, or not. No doubt the emotions would surface once again, and he wasn't sure he could keep them under control in front of so many people. He hesitated for a moment, scanning the room; he seriously considered putting off reading it until he could be alone, but a voice cracked the silence, "I suspect Professor Dumbledore would have taken great pleasure in giving it to you himself." McGonagall looked quite sentimental for a moment. "He was so proud of you, Harry."
Ten pairs of eyes cast uncomfortable glances at the floor, throats clenched, and the old friends were forced to swallow their emotion.
Against his better judgement, Harry began to read the letter.
Dear Harry,
It is dangerous to assume things in one's lifetime, and old men are just as guilty as young men at committing these faults. However, the night I first heard a prophecy made by Sibyl Trelawney regarding a child who would, no doubt, suffer greatly in the hands of this world, I knew you would be special. After your rescue from the grip of death, I held you in my arms, but the arms comforting you should have been your parents'. They knew how special you were, and knew what your place would be in this world.
Eighteen years later, I feel our world is on the periphery of change. Furthermore, I feel I will not be here to see that change. Harry, there have been opportunities where I have taken advantage of our relationship. Opportunities where I could have been honest with you have come and gone, and I will always regret that I had been untruthful. Forgive an old man. As I have said on several occasions, I never wanted to place more on your shoulders than was absolutely necessary, for you already have much weighing on them.
I have always had the utmost faith and confidence in you, Harry. Always. In times of need, rely on those who care for you the most: Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger, and Miss Weasley. Their affection for you is boundless. Don't turn away from them.
I recall a day, seven years ago, when you had discovered the Mirror of Erised. I asked you not to dwell on dreams so much that you would forget to live. Again, I ask that of you now. You will succeed at life, if you follow your heart. Your time has come, Harry, and I have never doubted that you would shine. It's been my privilege to know, instruct and learn from you. I'm so proud of you and know your parents would be too.
Good Luck, Harry Potter,
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
The letter was dated 19 June, 1998—on the eve of the final battle. Harry shut his eyes tightly, convincing himself that tears would not bring Dumbledore back. The letter was welcome but not what Harry had expected. "Thank you," Harry whispered aloud, fingering at another one of the scrolls.
"Open it Harry!" Hermione said excitedly.
He paused for a moment in consideration. There was only one thing that would make Hermione act so. Harry forced open the scroll and took a glance- his N.E.W.T. results.
"C'mon mate, what'd ya get? Hermione and I have debated this for 5 years." Both Ron's and Hermione's eyes were wide with anticipation.
Harry smirked, some things never change. The N.E.W.T. exams were 5 years ago, but to Harry it seemed like only yesterday. He could recall sitting for the written exams, his scar prickling uncomfortably. Looking over at Ron making aghast faces at the difficulty of the exam questions, and Hermione a few seats ahead and to his left, scrawling furiously. Even at the time, Harry knew that there were more important things in this world, things you couldn't learn from books. Harry knew these things were on his horizon and his moment with Voldemort was drawing near.
"Well?" Hermione's voice brought him back to the present, a place he was having a hard time staying in with his friend's here.
He was quiet as he stared down at the paper. As he recalled, he didn't have much time to study for his N.E.W.T.S. There were more important things he was being faced with. Spending time practicing Occlumency, Stunning Spells, and Unforgivable Spells was much more critical. The fact that he hadn't studied as much as he would have liked made his results even more surprising. "All O's and E's." Harry said quietly under his breath. Announcing your grades in front of 10 people was a little embarrassing. "All except for an A in the written Potions test, but from Snape, I reckon that's pretty fair. I never stood a chance there anyway. I didn't ever expect to do that well. Not bad eh?"
"Not bad? Not bad?" Ron asked. "Mate that's awesome."
"You walloped my arse." Seamus admitted, looking sideways at McGonagall. "Sorry Professor." he added remorsefully.
"Well, we all did rather well in Defense." Lavender admitted proudly.
"And more importantly we all stayed alive, thanks to the D.A. Harry." Neville added.
Harry was proud, maybe prouder than he'd ever been. "You shouldn't be thanking me. All I did was teach you the spells and incantations. You all put it to practice. You saved yourselves."
"Don't be so modest Harry. You're a hero." Dean contradicted.
This one statement had always bothered Harry so. He hadn't chosen his fate, he'd been forced into it. Furthermore he hadn't done anything that anyone else wouldn't have done if it rested on their shoulders.
"Each person in this room has suffered, and dozens more who aren't with us anymore: my parents, Sirius Black, Dumbledore, Hagrid. More than I care to count."
The room was shrouded in silence for several moments before Ginny spoke.
"Open the last scroll Harry."
Harry magicked open the last roll of paper and smoothed it out. The parchment was thick and Harry could feel 2 separate pieces.
The calligraphy on the parchment was exquisite and neat with black filigree and curls.
The guests all looked at Harry expectedly, waiting for him to say something- anything.
"Is everything all right Harry?" Ginny's voice was soft and anxious as she unconsciously moved closer to where Harry stood.
"It's OK Gin." Harry replied. "It's, er, -" He thrust the papers into Ginny's hands with a scowl. He scanned the faces in the room before turning his back on them.
Harry smoothed his hand over his mouth and chin feeling the stubble graze his skin as Ginny made the announcement.
"Harry, you've received Order of Merlin, First Class! Congratulations!"
Ginny threw her arms around him as the crowd regarded him once again.
"Harry, there's something else there too." McGonagall added matter of factly.
Ginny shifted the papers and smiled. "Harry, you need to look at this one yourself."
Harry turned around and reached for Ginny's extended hand, taking the parchment back.
As Harry read the words on the page, he never felt so many emotions all at once.
Pride…Anger…Sorrow…Retribution…Futility…Heartache…
"It's Sirius' Order of Merlin Papers."
His voice was vague and empty as he continued to stare down at the parchment, unsure of what he should be feeling. They were useless now weren't they. Just like his pardoning was. He held them loosely in his hands and finally reached out for Ginny. He wrapped his arms around her, catching her rather off guard.
The faces in the room stared openly at the duo- their arms circled around each other in comfort.
Ginny hushed him, whispering quietly into his onyx colored hair. She didn't care if the whole room knew her secrets, Harry needed her.
Harry pulled himself together and spent the rest of his afternoon catching up with his fellow Gryffindors.
Seamus and Lavender were married 3 years ago, but had no children yet. Seamus worked for the Ministry while Lavender co-owned a shop in Diagon Alley with Parvati. They sold Divination supplies such as crystal balls, Tarot cards, tea leaves from India, astrological equipment and Zodiac charts. They also read palms. Seamus and Lavender were an odd couple at best, but seemed very happy.
Parvati was not married but dating Sanjay, a Wizard who had just moved to England to work at the Ministry from India. She spent most of her time running The Gypsy's Wagon, the shop she and Lavender owned.
Neville was Hogwarts new Herbology Professor and did independent research on the effects of healing herbs. Neville had changed so much from the first day Harry met him. He had grown up. Neville was engaged to Luna Lovegood of all people, who was on an assignment at the moment with The Quibbler.
Harry thought Dean was rather vague about his accomplishments since Hogwarts. Dean was working in Muggle Relations. He didn't include any other pieces of personal information, and so Harry left things alone. He seemed happy although a little removed or astray, but content and to Harry that was all that mattered. Dean was always a good mate.
Professor McGonagall shared some memories of the group and some thoughts on the current Gryffindors and Quidditch prospects for the upcoming year.
Neville then turned pointedly to Harry. "What will you do now Harry? Have you thought about your future?"
Harry sighed and turned away from the little window bathing him in sunlight. "Actually, I think I'd like to just move ahead and settle down." He noticed a few strange glances but didn't think much of them. He hadn't ever made it a point to discuss the possibility of his future or family before the end of the war. He blushed, he was discussing two subjects that were uncomfortable for him. "I have enough money to wait a while and decide on a proper career. I've never had my own family. I'd like that, to settle down."
"With who?" Neville wondered aloud.
The room went silent as poor Neville gathered ostentatious glares. Harry shrugged it off, that was Neville for you. Naïve. The answer seemed obvious to Harry.
"I have someone in mind."
It was nearing the dinner hour and Headmistress McGongall used the time as an excuse to evacuate the room before any more mistakes were made.
Hermione cleared her throat to speak before everyone left. "I know that you all were at our wedding, except Harry obviously. And well, Ron and I decided that day when Harry awoke we'd renew our vows. We've chosen September 1- the day that Ron, Harry and I met. It's been one of the most special dates in our lives."
Ron nodded and blushed a bright shade of red, smiling at Hermione as she continued.
"The twins will be born and Harry will be well by then. You'll be receiving owls mid-summer, but we wanted to give you all a little notice."
Lavender and Parvati ooh'd and ahh'd, jumping up and down while fanning their arms. Seamus, Neville, Dean, and Harry congratulated Ron, while McGonagall and Ginny looked fixedly at one another.
Ginny finally saw Harry yawn and pointed explicitly to his bed. "I'll see your guests out Harry, you get some rest."
Harry shuffled over to the bed, pulled the covers back and flopped down. "I can't thank you all enough for visiting today. It really means a lot to me, especially to know Ginny had your support."
Ginny felt her face burning as Harry hugged his fellow students and even the Headmistress goodbye. Hermione and Ron stayed in the room as Ginny saw the others outside.
Ginny made sure the door was closed and glanced around the small circle of people gazing intently at her. She scuffed her foot against the tile floor.
"Thank you for not mentioning Dean's and my engagement. Harry is still so fragile, he has a hard time realizing 5 years have passed without him."
She looked around the circle again, her eyes paused briefly at each face, trying to read their thoughts, but finally stopped at Dean's. His head was down and his hands were thrust into his pockets.
"It will help him to have seen you all." She added as an afterthought.
Seamus rolled his eyes, which prompted an elbow to the ribs by Lavender. Parvati stifled a giggle. Neville apologized profusely for his slip up. Ginny couldn't help but think she'd have to do some damage control.
Ginny watched Seamus, Lavender, Parvati and Neville walk down the corridor away from Harry's room. Their heads were all leaned into one another's and it appeared that they were already gossiping maliciously. She wanted to scream. She wanted to holler so loud that it would echo off the white, portrait covered walls.
What should she have done? Left him alone right from the very beginning? What would any of them done?
Dean's soft hollow voice brought her back. "Ginny. I've got to get back to work."
Her mouth suddenly dropped open as she turned around to face him. She closed the distance between them and buried her face in his chest.
"Dean, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard that must've been for you. You're wonderful for even being here."
The woodsy scent of his cologne settled her emotions while he slipped an awkward arm around Ginny's waist and patted the small of her back.
Dean took Ginny's shoulders in his hands and held her away at arm's length. "I understand that Harry needs time to recover, but the only way we'll get through this Ginny is if we love each other." His voice was grave and his eyes were steeled.
Ginny knew he was lying about Harry. Chivalrously lying, but lying all the same. She put her hands on either side of his face and drew her thumbs across his chiseled jaw. "I do, I do, you know I do. Please know that I do love you." Tears crested over her brown eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. She looked alarmed and anxious.
"I've got to go" Dean sounded like a ghost and his normally dark, warm eyes clouded over. He leaned down and pressed an all too brief kiss on Ginny's lips. "We'll talk tonight."
He nodded twice and set off toward the Apparition Point.
It was only then that Ginny realized Minerva McGonagall was still there.
"Professor!" Ginny gasped, clutching her chest. The woman's looming presence startled her nearly half to death.
McGonagall's hat cast a faint shadow over her narrow face, but Ginny could still see the light-lipped frown. "It was, um, good of you to come by today Prof - "
A finger was suddenly being wagged in Ginny's face. "I agreed to keep your secret for 1 reason." McGonagal began sharply, as little lines formed around her squinted eyes. She pointed at Harry's door with her free hand, keeping her other one about 2 inches from Ginny's nose. "And that's because I want the best for that young man in there."
The Headmistress dropped her hands and began pacing a few feet on either side of Harry's door, her heels clicking on the tile floor. Ginny was suddenly glad that the corridor was empty.
"Ginny - "
Ginny was completely taken aback at the forcefulness of such a fair woman.
"I'm not as naïve as one may think. I know what was going on in that room when I interrupted. I don't begrudge you a life Miss Weasley, but - "
McGonagall could see by Ginny's reaction that this was an area of personal struggle.
"Professor, I still love Harry. I probably will until the day I die. It's not a game I'm playing here. I love Dean too, he's been nothing but perfect to me. He's been the beacon in all this darkness," Her voice faded off. "I just can't tell Harry yet."
McGonagall's jaw was clenched firmly. "He loves you Ginny." She hissed, folding her arms across her chest. "We've all been lenient where Potter was concerned, our whole community, his whole life. I'm not asking you to abandon the more recent plans you've made with Mr. Thomas, but follow your destiny Ginny. Listen to an old lady's advice and learn from her mistakes!"
She paused briefly enough for Ginny to consider her words. McGonagall had been in love? Ginny had never really though about it before, but it did make sense, why wouldn't she have been at least once in her life?
The woman's stern voice began to quaver as her beady eyes shifted toward Ginny once again. "At this point it's unavoidable not to break his heart, but Merlin help you, if you drag him along and then crush all his hopes and dreams."
Ginny lifted her downcast head to meet McGonagall's eyes where she swore she's seen her wipe away a single tear.
A horrible, awkward silence filled the corridor as Ginny's head drooped again. She would not cry, not here, not now. She opened her mouth to speak but her courage failed her. She swallowed with difficulty and when her voice resurfaced, it was barely a whisper.
"I'm scared to let go."
"Of Dean or Harry?"
Ginny didn't answer, for her mother had just turned the corner and was approaching with a smile.
McGonagall leaned in closer and spoke in a hushed tone. "You get yourself together Miss Weasley. You're not playing around with just any Wizard's heart. Good day."
Minerva McGonagall strode away in the direction of Mrs. Weasley, leaving Ginny standing in a stunned wake behind her. The Headmistress spoke briefly with Mrs. Weasley before continuing in her way.
Molly reached the place where her daughter stood outside the door. "Good of her to visit, bit short tempered today though." Molly said cheerfully.
Ginny nodded. "Dean and the others only just left."
Molly began to speak but Ginny presumptively cut her mother off. "Not today Mum. What's the smile for anyway?"
Molly relented. "I've spoken with the Healers. Harry can come home tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? To the Burrow?" Ginny's face showed the surprise she felt, the surprise that froze her to the spot.
Molly looked at her as if she had Blast Ended Screwts coming out of her ears. "Of course Ginny, where else has he to go?"
Ginny shook her head back and forth and closed her eyes. Am I stupid, of course he's coming home to the Burrow! "I'll just go and tell him then, he'll be thrilled." Her voice was airy and empty. When she reached for the doorknob her mother said her name.
"Ginny, it's time to tell Harry."
Molly reached out and laid a gentle hand on Ginny's which still rested on the doorknob.
Ginny heard the words but chose not to listen. "I'll just go in and tell Harry the good news."
Ginny put on a smile and entered the room, followed by Mrs. Weasley.
This wasn't the first time Harry had thought about this. First and foremost, he had no home. He had existed with the Dursley's, his only blood relatives, for 18 years, but his home was Hogwarts- which was no longer an option. Remus lived at Grimmauld Place, and Harry knew the werewolf would welcome him in an instant, but Harry wasn't sure if he could go back to that house. Staying with the Weasley's had always been wonderful, but he could hardly spend the rest of his life there.
Secondly, Harry lived in this protective cocoon here at St. Mungo's. Only selected visitors were permitted, which meant no reporters buzzing around, and he didn't have to associate with a society that thought of him as a hero. Here in the safety of this sterile, white, room, no one stared at his scar, asked for an autograph, took a picture, or followed him anywhere. Going home was a scary prospect.
All he wanted, since he was 16 or 17, was Ginny. Trying to start a new life with Ginny was the only thing he could imagine.
"You'll be coming home Harry dear, to the Burrow. It's your home for as long as you want it." Molly began, stepping between Ginny and Harry, who rested on the bed. "Arthur and I will not take no for an answer. You can have Ron's old room or if you'd rather, Ginny's old room." Molly declared, pressing down on Harry's head, trying, with no luck, to flatten his hair.
The realization struck him bizarrely. "Old room." He snorted airily, through his nose, glancing over at Ron and Ginny. "It hasn't really occurred to me that you wouldn't be there."
Harry looked down, not wanting to see the evidentiary looks mixed with guilt on their faces. "It's OK." He lied, pulling his knees up to his chest. "It's just going to take me some time to get used to the last 5 years. Mrs. Weasley, thank you, I'd like to stay at the Burrow very much."
The room was too quiet.
Harry was supposed to be sleeping, but his mind was distracted. He'd had an utterly restless night, filed with nightmares and flashbacks. Unable to lay in bed a moment longer, he put on his wrapper and left the room. After a stop at the Healer's station at the end of the hall, he just began walking.
There were so many things he'd need to do. Most important was buying a new wand. His had literally been vaporized, along with Voldemort at the final battle. Maybe he could stop tomorrow or the next day. Yes, a wand was in immediate must.
Clothes were next. Harry assumed that most of his apparel was either out of style or didn't fit anymore. He'd have to made another stop at Madame Malkins he guessed.
Harry turned left and proceeded aimlessly down another hallway. The hospital was silent, and he appreciated it. Occasionally he'd see a nurse or Healer who would look him over skeptically. He found himself near the stairwell and decided to go down a flight or two.
He might need to renew his Apparition license, maybe he couldn't Apparate anymore and would need to practice all over again.
At Hogwarts he had signed up for Auror training and was accepted, pending his N.E.W.T.S. were satisfactory. Did that offer still stand? With Voldemort and his Death Eaters rounded up, was there even a need for Aurors? Harry wasn't even sure he wanted to do that anymore. He'd had quite enough fighting evil for a while.
Harry suddenly found himself staring through a long bay of windows with dozens of faces looking back. He'd wandered into the Maternity Ward.
He smiled inwardly as he stood a few inches away from the glass partition, looking down at the tiny faces.
Ginny had been right when she'd told me that it was lovely to be with people at the beginning of life, when they were the happiest.
Harry was conscious of the fact that was a little envious of Ron and Hermione. Hermione, always studious, well planned, uptight and strict, was now absolutely beautiful. She seemed relaxed, warm and free. Even Ron seemed a bit calmer. The two of them had shared something so magical it hardly seemed possible. They had created a life.
Inspiration, awareness, madness or whatever it was that awakened people in the middle of the night and didn't let them rest had struck.
Harry didn't know much about his parent's relationship but he knew they'd married very young and had only been 21 or 22 at the time of their own deaths. They hasn't wasted time in their short lives, they went after what they wanted.
He looked from one sleeping infant's face to another and insight dawned on his face. He wanted exactly what his father wanted. The one thing he had always wanted. The thing he'd found when he met the Weasley's.
A family.
He smiled profoundly and rested his forehead on the cool glass.
Yes, that was it. Ginny. Ginny had always been it, since the day he'd realized just how special she was. Her smile, the way her brown eyes sparkled, that red hair that kindled up images of burning embers and a fiery personality to match. The little freckle that dotted her upper lip. The way she always just seemed to know how other people felt and how she did whatever she could to make them feel better. Merlin only knew everything about her was perfect.
He couldn't rush foolhardy into this. No, he'd need lots of advice. Ron! Ron had obviously been through all of this, asking for Hermione's hand in marriage.
Yes. Harry contemplated. I'll ask Ron for advice and when the time is right I'll ask Ginny to marry me.
Thanks to all who have left reviews since Chapter 3: Lireal Goldenhand, Jane and Adam, Counting Sheep, Feisty Aphrodite (love that name), Neni Potter, BJH, Cherry Blossom, Citizen Insane, Dementor Chic, Vitreum, Crazyinulover, DK Lili, and Gatoriris
I appreciate all your reviews. I know that some of you have asked me to read or review your own stories- and I will! Just after I'm done with this. :-) Please be patient with me. Thanks again.
P.S. Lireal, I go to Saginaw Valley State University.