Title: What did you say Iruka-sensei? Part 3 by meleth78

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: R

Status: Crack

Comments: And the indecent behavior continues…

Disclaimer: They want to be mine, but they are not. No one cares how THEY feel.

A/N: I hope you guys read this more than once! Hee. I'm not sure I'm making sense anymore!

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'Oh for the love of-' muttered Tsunade, as she slumped dejectedly into the large chair behind her massive paper-ridden desk. Exhaling heavily, the fifth hokage straightened before leaning forward to place her elbow on a pile of documents in front of her, so as to better support her throbbing forehead in the palm of her hands. However, even though half hidden between her slender fingers, the patented Tsunade death glare still carried with it great potency. And at that very moment it was aimed at the two squabbling shinobi in front of her.

'I swear it wasn't my fault this time!' yelped Kakashi, both hands raised in a pre-emptive attempt to ward of any sudden attacks the fifth might abruptly decide launch.

'What?' yelled the younger man by his side, jagged scar on his tanned nose wrinkling in ire, his dark eyes blazed as he spat, 'It was so your fault!'

'You started it,' came the rapid retort.

'I did not!' squawked Iruka, indignation pouring off his lean frame in indignant waves, 'Hokage-sama—'

'Let's play a game you said,' continued the jonin, interrupting. He lifted up a half-gloved hand to point in accusation at the sensei next to him, 'You said!'

'I did not! Tsunade-sama--' tried the younger man again only to yet again have his statement cut of mid-plea.

'Yes you did!' snapped Kakashi. He then decided to risk it and stepped bravely forward to slam his palms down hard on the Hokage's desk. The silver-haired jounin added, fervor ringing in his tone, 'He did.'

'If I did, and I'm not saying that I did,' added Iruka hastily before sneaking a glance at the eerily still form of his fifth hokage. Tsunade it seemed, was silently watching the drama unfold, obviously utterly pissed off. 'It was only because you were irritating the hell out of me by poking me in the ribs every 7 seconds and griping about how bored you were.'

'Well, we were on a mission, so initiating a game was very unprofessional of you sensei,' claimed the unrepentant copy-nin.

'You were playing hide-and-seek with your team!' shouted the irate sensei, literally stomping his foot in sheer exasperation.

'It was training, and that does nothing to assuage the fact that you behaved in a manner thoroughly unbefitting an academy sensei.'

'Oh cut the crap with the uppity language jounin, what you did was-'

'I was merely following your lead.'

'I did not say that tongues were allowed!' yelped the younger man.

'You didn't say that tongues weren't allowed,' was the smugly drawled out reply.

'I said fingers!' Iruka wriggled his own agitated fingers in-front of the impenitent jounin's face to emphasize his point, 'FINGERS!'

'I kept forgetting what went where!' said Kakashi as he shoved a hand through his already disheveled hair, 'And it was too dry!'

'That's why I said to lick it you moron!'

'I did lick your-' grinned the pale man as he reached out to grab at the fingers that were still wriggling in protest just in front of his mask.

'FINGERS! Lick the fingers! Arrggghhh…Not NOW you fuck-' yelped the sensei yet again as he snatched his fingers away from being niftily nipped at by cloth covered lips. 'HO-KA-GE SA-MA!'

Still the woman in question remained silent, the only movement was the methodical squeezing motion of her fingers as they pulsed on her forehead.

'My way was more efficient, something you'd know about if you tried to help me out back then,' replied the jounin, sounding offended at having his efforts so summarily rebuffed.

Iruka spluttered. 'I did help! I sucked on your fingers remember!' yelled the younger man before clapping both his hands over his mouth and staring in horror at buxom woman painfully throbbing at her desk. If one listened carefully, one might have heard a vague whimper emerge from her person. If Hokages whimpered that is.

'Yeah well….my way was more fun,' muttered Kakashi grumpily. Then, just at that very moment, something occurred to him, 'Don't tell me you've never done it that way before?' His single exposed eye flew wide open.

'NO you pervert!' shouted Iruka. He then stopped abruptly and threw a suspicion-filled glare at the silvered hair man next to him, 'You- You have?'

'Hmmm…' hummed the copy-nin tucking his hands into his pockets, non-committal. His blue eye flew into its happy inverted U shape as he smiled at the sensei next to him.

'WITH WHO?' yelled the young sensei, enraged.

'Whom,' grinned the jounin, pleased for once to be able to correct Iruka's language. He was rather sick of always being on the receiving end. Metaphorically speaking of course.

'Who's this whom person?' whispered Raido to Genma as the two special jounin continued to eavesdrop while pretending to sort out the documents in the fifth's office. So efficient were they at their sneaky task that no one, not even the three shinobi involved in the rather loud discussion, realized that they were not alone.

A bandana covered head snapped towards the man next to him and Genma was silent for a moment as he struggled to formulate a reply. Finally giving up, he reached out to pat the scarred cheek with sweet affection, as he murmured, 'You're so lucky you're pretty.'

'What?' growled the spikey-haired man, rearing away from the senbon-sucking jounin.

'Shuuush,' came the hushed reply as Genma lifted a finger to his lips. With his other hand he pointed at the oblivious threesome and made an uncanny imitation of the Hokage's I'm-Tsunade-slug-lady-with-them-big-boobies-and-I'm-gonna-punched-you-in-the-face-if-you-piss-me-off face before taking a file and continued with his pretend filing.

'After the last two incidences, I believed that I outlined the rules for the both of you quite clearly,' said the slug lady in question, finally deeming it fit to stand up and move toward the startled Kakashi and Iruka. They were expecting a tongue-lashing, but the sleek movements of the woman slowing strolling towards them spoke of a future filled with violent and painful retribution. 'And I believed that I specifically made myself extremely clear on the exchange or/and the spewing of bodily fluids in public places.'

'I have a good explanation,' said Kakashi as he stealthily took two steps back and a side-step closer to Iruka. The sensei on the other hand remained rooted to the spot, spell-bounded by the deceptively gentle swaying of the fifth as she made her way towards them.

'This I got to hear,' snapped the fifth coming to a stop as she crossed her arms across her ample cleavage. She barked, 'Proceed.'

'It was for practical reasons,' replied the pale man, 'for the activity we were engaged in.' He took yet another sneaky side-step towards the frozen sensei by his side.

'What?' said Tsunade as she squinted at the tall jounin, lifting her chin up just a tad.

'I needed the fluid,' continued Kakashi as if that explained everything. He had finally reached Iruka's side and was discretely attempting to pull the younger man another step away from the woman standing waaay too close to them.

'What?' repeated said scary-ass woman. Her left foot shifted slightly outwards, lowering her center of gravity, as if readying herself for a killing blow.

'It's not my fault the sensei sun-bathes in the nude and has a full-body tan,' stated the jounin as he slung his arm around Iruka's shoulder and lightly hugged the younger man to him.

'The hell?' said Tsunade.

'Saliva started out ok enough, but it's translucent and it evaporates too quickly, whereas the sensei's spun-'

'Shut up!' shouted the man by the jounin's side, shoving the pale man away from him in utter horror.

'Well, it's white. I mean it's not pure white-white, but more of a creamy-type off-white. Creamy was definitely more suitable. Shows up much better against tanned skin,' continued the copy-nin in a contemplative manner, 'But more importantly it's smoother and dries up less quickly so that made it easier when I used my fingers to-'

'Shut the fuck up!' screeched Iruka when it seemed that Kakashi was just about to demonstrate with his fingers the action that he had previously engaged in.

'I didn't have a choice! My tongue was going numb from making all those circles!' whined the pale man defensively.

'You chose circles yourself! And because I knew you would get tired I kept saying "use your fingers, use your fingers" but nooooo, you insisted on using your tongue!' yelled Iruka, thoroughly unmoved by the petulant look that was being directed at him.

'Well if you had been willing to take turns with the cir-' offered the jounin, he turned to the Hokage to offer and explanation but before he could continue, Iruka burst in,

'You don't just swap in the middle of it! It's just not done!'

'Ah-HA! You admit that you were playing as well!' shot Kakashi, triumphant.

'I'm going to KILL you!' shouted Iruka as he took a threatening step towards the grinning pale man.

'You're just mad coz I won.'

'Did Kakashi just stick his tongue out under his mask?' asked the still forgotten but always oh-so-adorable Raido.

'Umm hmmm…' replied the also still forgotten but always oh-so-hot Genma. His light brown eyes dancing back and forth between the two arguing shinobi.

'You- you didn't win!' said the young sensei. Against his better judgment he tried yet again to appeal to his Hokage, 'Tsunade-sama-'

The woman just glared and expectedly, the sensei faltered.

'I did too! I topped you two out of three times,' replied the copy-nin, raising two half-gloved fingers in emphasis.

'You cheated!' snapped Iruka finally deciding to take a step away from the fifth on his own volition. This time, and this was despite wanting to smack Kakashi senseless and stomp on his head with spiked shoes, it was the sensei that tried to discretely tug the jounin just a tad further away from the clearly fuming slug lady.

'I've killed larger men than you for saying that,' snipped the pale man stumbling slightly as his arm was suddenly pulled by the younger man at his side. 'Hey-'

'You purposely set out to distract me! I couldn't possibly concentrate while you were-'

'Like I said, that was only out of necessity,' interrupted the jounin, 'I have a bad eye you know. It's always red. And besides, it was good training for you for your jounin trials. Concentration, focus, endurance, you know, important shinobi type skills.'

'Why couldn't you have used your own-'

'I did try to contribute but you weren't completely focused on helping me with my own-' the jounin stopped shot, unable to think of a delicate way to describing Iruka's previously rather delectable behavior.

'Fluid gathering process?' added the no-longer forgotten but still oh-so-hot Genma helpfully from the corner of the office. Immediately the special jounin realized his folly and in a futile effort, tried to clap his hands over his mouth almost stabbing himself with the senbon in the process.

All three heads snapped in his and Raido's direction. Both special jounin froze.

Kakashi blinked, frowned for a moment before shrugging in a what-the-hell-let's-just-roll-with-it manner as he continued,

'Yes, that's good. You were rather distracted while you were assisting me with my own fluid gathering process. And since you were…er…your…er….' Kakashi stumbled again before rallying, 'your fluid was more forthcoming that mine, I decided to take matters into my own…well….my own mouth.'

'You wouldn't let me breathe! You said the movement was too distracting!' complained the sensei in his own defense.

'Oh yeah, right. I did say that.' Kakashi paused briefly as he pondered his next argument. It didn't take him too long to come up with one. 'Well, it was too distracting, and you kept wriggling all over the place and I kept forgetting what I was supposed to do next!'

'It tickles! Besides, don't give me that crap about need my help to-' Iruka broke off stumped.

'Gather your own fluid,' prompted the always helpful, always hot Shiranui Genma.

'Yes, right. You've never needed my help to gather your own fluid, you do just fine on your own,' finished the young sensei.

'Just what are you insinuating?' scowled the pale jounin, brows drawing closer together.

'Oh, the eleven times you had unexplained wrist strain while on solo missions was just a coincidence?' snipped Iruka.

'It was from typing up all the mission reports for the totally anal chuunin manning the mission desk!'

'Your reports were HAND-WRITTEN!' shouted the sensei flinging his arms up in frustration.

'Well, pencils aren't as easy to use as they appear,' muttered Kakashi, defensive, 'And even with your half-assed attempts I was moments away from contributing my own fluid if we hadn't been so rudely interrupted.'

'The both of you could re-enact it and we'll be the judge of whether or not it counts as lewd behavior,' suggested Genma who was, as previously mentioned, always reading to lend a helping hand. Or finger. Or tongue.

He blanched at the look Tsunade shot him. Stupidly, the senbon-chewing man had forgotten her presence. She was a sneaky one she was. Raido attempted to discretely tug his partner back to him, away from the scary, scary lady.

Tsunade was growing tired of silently standing there although, she had to admit that watching the flustered and flushed Iruka argue with the belligerent and irritated copy-nin was rather…arousing. Still, her dedicated assistant would have her ass if she didn't at least pretend to get some of the paperwork done by the end of the day. That decided, the fifth spoke,

'Genma-san, Raido-san, is there a reason why you're still here?'

'Er…paper. Sort paper,' was Raido's answer. Genma was still vaguely reeling from Tsunade's earlier I'll-stuff-that-senbon-up-where-the-sun-don't-shine look.

'Are you done?' shot back the fifth, a single elegant brow lifting in query.

'Er…yes,' came the succinct reply. Raido was a man of few words.

'Then get,' snapped the scary, scary lady. 'And as for the two of you…'

Unfortunately for Genma and Raido the speed at which they…..sauntered, out of the room prevented them for hearing the rest of that statement.

'Damn, I would have loved to hear what the granny had in store for them,' muttered Raido, dejected. He would refuse to admit it but his lower lip stuck out a little.

Never one to watch his love sulk and do nothing, Genma smirked and ruffled the spiked head. With his senbon bobbing the special jounin leaned in and murmured,

'Sooooo…despite the horrible punishment that Tsunade is sure to dish out, Kakashi and Iruka sure seemed to have had a lot of fun…' The bandana-ed jounin trailed off as he shot his partner a speculative leer.

'Are you saying…' questioned Raido, the beginning of a grin starting to form on his handsome face.

'You wanna?' beamed Genma, senbon quite erect with anticipation.

'You mean you wanna play tic-tac-toe on my tummy too?' pipped Raido happily.

'Oh yeah.'

'Depends. Are we using saliva or spunk?' grinned the scarred man as he grabbed onto the other special jounin and both men merrily bapth-ed out of vision.

THE END