"Harry, you're drunk!" She chastised, tossing her purse down onto the worn wooden chair across from him.
Harry blinked several times, not entirely convinced he wasn't staring at an evil mirage Ginny who had come to taunt him.
"I ain't s-s-so very drunk, Ginny." Harry slurred, straightening his glasses, which sat askew on his face. "Oops, I said your name and I wasn't supposed to." He cackled softly to himself.
"What are you on about?" Ginny questioned, taking the seat next to Harry and gazing at the several empty shot glasses setting in a sloppy row on the scratched, gnarled, wooden table.
Harry said nothing but laughed feebly.
"Never mind." Ginny muttered. She was hoping to explain herself under slightly more idealistic conditions, but fate had not dealt her those cards. It was now or never.
As Harry stretched over the table again, Ginny noticed that his wand was sticking out of his back pocket. She reached around him and removed it carefully. If she was going to spill her guts, the least she could do was prevent Harry from Disapparating away.
In his current state he didn't feel her pick pocket the wand and deftly slide it into her purse. At least they were on even ground now. If he left, he'd have to leave on foot and she could follow him. Ginny couldn't begin to contemplate where he would Disapparate to if he felt he were being backed into a corner.
Being this close to him for the first time in days was like agony and ecstasy at the same time. Would he listen to her? Would he give her a chance to explain herself? The last place she wanted to explain herself was in the Leaky Cauldron, even if the crowd was sparse.
Ginny leaned in rather close to him, catching the strong scent of the Firewhiskey on his breath, it was spicy with an almost sweet aroma to it. She closed her eyes, savouring their closeness, even if it was brief.
"C'mon Harry," she whispered carefully. "You don't want to be here anymore. Let's get you back to Remus's."
Ginny was surprised that he rose from the table at her suggestion and began staggering up toward the bar. She hurriedly grabbed her purse and followed behind him closely, hoping he could retain his balance the entire way. She casually rested her palm on Harry's back, trying to steady him without seeming overbearing or protective. She kept thinking if she could only get him home, get him a cup of coffee, or a whole pot, she could get him to a state where he could comprehend and understand what she would attempt to say.
She hadn't been paying proper attention to what Harry was slurring to the bartender, or heard him flip a gold Galleon down onto the bar top. Instead, she was lost in her own thoughts wondering if she kissed him right now, would his tongue slip past her lips? Would he knot her shirt up in his hands as he drew her closer to his body? Would he weave his hands into her hair, fervently keeping her lips pressed to his own?
While Ginny drifted, she hadn't realized that he'd turned around to face her, and she crashed full frontal into his body. It was slightly painful, but when she looked up through the haze into his green eyes all the pain melted away. She had grabbed his arms in an effort to stay on her feet, and in response, Harry looped one arm around her to prevent her fall. Drunk and five years removed from Quidditch, he still had amazing reflexes.
This was an embrace. Ginny rationalized. Ok, maybe not a real embrace, but their arms were around each other, weren't they? Harry didn't move, he stood there looking down into her eyes, wondering if she had any inclination of how he felt right now. She had that fire burning in her eyes, that unquenchable fire that still beckoned to him. The physical nearness of their bodies was slowly invading each of their minds.
For Ginny, the temptation proved to be too great, in one swift move she stood up on tiptoe and stole a kiss. It was a kiss that no longer belonged to her, and she had no right to take it. For the briefest of moments it was amazing. His lips were warm and soft and tasted hot like cinnamon. Ginny was about to slide her hand up to cradle his face when Harry reacted and grabbed her hand, ceasing her progression.
There was a horrible, empty feeling as Harry tore his lips away from Ginny's and pushed her away. He growled loudly in frustration and dug his fingers into his hair as Ginny staggered back another step.
"Why can't you just release your hold on me Ginny? Just let me go! I gave you everything I had- mind, body, soul. I don't have anything left to give you!"
People were staring. It was hard to miss the most famous wizard in the world having a lover's spat in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron. Ginny was turning crimson from embarrassment, she shielded her face with one hand as her hair formed a curtain around her in an attempt to prevent her any further humiliation.
"You wanted this Ginny! Not me! I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you - "
"Me too!" She countered, suddenly raising her left hand to his eye level.
For a moment, Harry thought maybe she would strike him, but even in the dim light, the platinum engagement ring he had bought her shone beautifully on her finger.
Tears as clear as the diamond on her finger were running down her cheek.
"I didn't want this." she sobbed disdainfully. "I wanted happiness. I'm miserable without you Harry."
"Good! It serves you right!" He countered, glancing around at all the faces staring back at them. He reached toward his back pocket to retrieve his wand and didn't seem shocked to not find it there.
"Give me my wand Ginny."
She shook her head and wiped the tears off her face. "No. Not until you've listened to what I have to say."
"I don't want to listen!" Harry hollered in a high, hysterical voice. He avoided getting any closer to her body and began stomping toward the door. He walked with his eyes down, not wanting to see the looks on the faces of the other patrons. Harry flung the door open, stepping out into Muggle London.
Ginny blanched. Muggle London was a bit like uncharted waters. She wasn't terribly familiar with this part of the city, even though her flat wasn't far from here. The only times she had ventured out was with her family or to visit Dean's family. Thoughts of the dark city left her feeling a little vulnerable, but it didn't matter, she wasn't about to let Harry go. She rushed from the pub and followed Harry out onto Charing Cross Road.
She reached the first intersection and quickly glanced left, then right. There was only one person on the street. A young man with messy black hair. Ginny set off after him, her shoes echoing on the sidewalk as she quickly caught up to his meandering stride.
"Go home Ginny." Harry snapped, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he spoke.
Ginny stepped in front of him and held out her hands out in a plea for him to stop.
He didn't stop, so Ginny ran up ahead of him and walked backward, so she could see his face. "Harry, please. Give me five minutes." She didn't wait for an answer before she started rambling. "Harry, I love you. I'm sorry. I was so lonely without you. You have no idea what it was like - "
"I have no idea?" Harry asked condescendingly, finally stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, exhausted from arguing. "Ginny, no one knows what I've been through. Hell, I don't even know five years of what happened to me. I had to read it in newsprint. Can you imagine that?"
She shook her head slowly. He was right, she was focussing on herself. He'd had the worst childhood of anyone she'd ever known, his time with Hermione and Ron highlighted his adolescence, and that rapidly concluded when he defeated Voldemort and went into the coma. "I'm really sorry Harry."
"Ginny, just go away and leave me alone." Harry muttered, stepping around her.
She caught his hand and stopped his momentum. "Harry," she whispered, leaning in just a little bit closer. "Harry, I love you, I have always loved you and I always will. I wanted to tell you the truth. I hated keeping it from you. Every word I've said to you was truth, every night I spent by your side was because I couldn't bear to be away from you. I will never voluntarily leave you again and I will spend the rest of my life paying for my mistakes. You mean so much to me - "
"I meant so much that you promised your life to someone else and gave him what you had promised me? Gin, you gave yourself to me. You promised I would be your one and only. You lied about that too. How many others have you shagged, huh?"
His words were like a slap in the face. Her mouth dropped open in surprise as she stood there clutching his hand. There was a bright flash nearby. It caused Harry and Ginny both to look up. The light bulb on the streetlamp overhead flickered, then burst and she dropped his hand.
Harry was surprised to feel no satisfaction in watching her expression change. She was in pain and he had done it. Intentionally. He felt what was left of his heart shatter.
Her lips were trembling and her eyes flooded with tears. "I, er, here." She said, reaching into her purse and retrieving Harry's wand. She hastily wiped a tear from her face as she thrust her hand out toward Harry. He looked into her eyes and slowly reached out to take the wand from her.
"My love for you has never changed. I'm sorry that yours has. I cried for days at the thought of betraying you. I won't do it again. Do you know how I spent my night after you left the Burrow? I went to all the places I thought you might be, hoping to find you'd arrived safe. I was sick with worry. Say all the hateful things you want, I'm not turning my back on you."
Harry sighed with discomfiture. As angry as he was, he was not about to leave Ginny standing on a Muggle street in the middle of the night. "Where do you live?" He finally acquiesced.
Ginny was flustered by his sudden change of behaviour. "Er, not far from here." She replied. "Why do you care?"
"Because I'm not leaving you here!" He lashed out. "And I know you just won't do the right thing and Apparate home." He paused, thinking through his statement very carefully. "Dean, he isn't still living with you, is he?"
She shook her head and laughed weakly. "No, I've been staying at the Burrow lately so he could get all of his things out. It's my flat."
They set off walking in the direction of Ginny's flat, neither of them talking. Ginny was treasuring every second of their walk, while Harry was hoping he wasn't misleading her by his gesture. After several minutes they came upon a large stone building surrounded by a black, wrought iron fence.
"This is me." Ginny whispered, eyeing her building, checking to see that there were no lights on upstairs in her apartment.
"Go then." Harry answered coldly.
"Thank you." Ginny responded with modest sincerity.
Harry shook his head. "Don't get the wrong ideas Ginny. Nothing's changed."
He leaned up against the metal fencing, folded his arms and waited impatiently. "Go."
She nodded and began to walk toward the small courtyard inside the gates. Stopping abruptly she looked over her shoulder at Harry. "I still love you." She admitted, letting her head fall toward her chest. "It won't ever change."
Harry watched Ginny walk inside the building before he took a few steps backward. He rationalized since Ginny had looked up that her apartment must be one of the ones above him. He waited a few minutes and saw a warm yellow light illuminate one of the windows. Moments later, her silhouette fell upon the white curtains. She pulled them back hesitantly and looked down into the courtyard at Harry. Harry unfolded his arms, retrieved his wand and with one last glance, Apparated away.
"He wouldn't even let me explain, Mum." Ginny whined sitting at the kitchen table at the Burrow, letting her head fall into her hands as she raked her fingers through her hair.
"Well honestly. What did you expect, Ginny?" Molly replied indignantly. "That he'd take you back with open arms after you've lied to him for weeks on end? Ginny, be reasonable, he may never come back."
She answered with defiant confidence. "I'm gonna get him back, Mum."
Ginny watched her mother making toast as a Delivery Owl flew in the kitchen window with The Daily Prophet. She dug into her pocket, retrieving the correct change as the owl waited patiently on the back of the nearest kitchen chair.
"There you go." Ginny declared, dropping the Knuts into the small suede pouch tied to his leg. She took the rolled up newspaper and unfurled the pages.
"So, Harry was very tipsy last night, was he? How bad? Maybe I should Floo Remus and ask if he's got any drinking remedies over there, I highly doubt he gets boozed up very often."
"Oh sod it all!" Ginny hollered, causing Molly to drop the plate of toast she was bringing toward the table.
"Ginevra!" Molly shouted, chastising her daughter.
"That git, that prat, that arse!" Ginny continued, holding up the front page of the Prophet. "Mum, look!"
The front page of the Daily Prophet was divided down the middle, a picture of Dean and Ginny was on one half, while the other half showed a photo of Ginny and Harry arguing underneath the streetlamp on Charing Cross Road last night.
Dean had given an exclusive to Rita Skeeter regarding his and Ginny's breakup, her stringing Harry along and the melee at the Burrow a few nights ago. He was considering filing assault charges on the Weasley boys, including Percy- for accessory after the fact, and on Harry for the initial punch. Ginny was astounded and angered to read that Dean confessed she cared for Harry out of a sense of obligation and duty and nothing more. He claimed she was full of lies and often used charms and spells to get what she wanted from him.
The other half of the page was a testimonial by witnesses in The Leaky Cauldron who saw the lover's spat. Rita and her photographer were on their way back to Diagon Alley when they chanced upon Harry and Ginny arguing in the street. Harry's staggering and slurring had been a dead give away that he'd been at The Leaky Cauldron and Rita quickly made her way into the bar.
Ginny paced the kitchen as she read the article, spouting curse words and nervously glancing at her mother fretting at the table.
"I'd better go see Remus." She declared, slamming the paper down onto the table and reaching for her wand.
"No Ginny. It's not a good idea. Harry doesn't want to see you and I think it would only make things worse if you were there. I'll Floo Remus."
"Yes, I've seen it Molly, there's no point in keeping it from him. I'll do my best to deflect the inevitable explosion of emotion that's sure to erupt. I'll try to Floo back later. Tell Ginny not to worry, we may not have always gotten along, but I understand we both care about Harry. Give her my best."
The Floo call ended and Remus rose from the hearth, dusting off his trousers. His sensitive ears could hear Harry stumbling down the stairs above him.
Harry's head pounded and throbbed, not unlike the pain Voldemort had plagued him with. His mouth was dry, his vision was blurred as if he wasn't wearing his glasses, his balance was shaky, and he felt he could lose the contents of his stomach at any time. He closed his eyes, in effort to block out the natural light and put his hand on the wall for balance and ordination.
The kitchen floor was shockingly cold on his feet as he stepped into the room, clutching his head.
"Good morning sunshine." Lupin teased, rising from his chair and striding toward the sink.
"Not so loud." Harry whispered, squeezing his head between his palms.
He could hear Remus rummaging around in the cupboard next to the sink, but he didn't dare open his eyes.
"I've had this for some time, it might not be as effective as it should be. I imagine it belonged to Sirius, he would use it more than I would."
Lupin retrieved a glass and poured few drams of liquid from a dark brown bottle into the glass and handed it to Harry.
"As someone who cares for your well being I'm going to ask you something before I give this to you." Remus paused, watching Harry's eyes open slowly. "Are you going to do this again anytime soon?"
"No." Harry grumbled, gazing down at the syrupy liquid.
"Good. Drink up."
Harry clutched his stomach as he swallowed the bitter tasting potion.
"Feeling really awful, or just a little?" Remus asked, taking the glass back from Harry who slowly made his way over to the kitchen table.
"Feeling like I wish I'd never been born." Harry replied, feeling sorry for himself and running his hand through his hair.
"The potion will take effect soon. It will lessen your symptoms, but it won't make them disappear. You should be careful drinking Firewhiskey." Remus paused, debating whether or not he should tell Harry about the article in The Prophet. He rationalized that there was no time like the present and Harry would only resent it more if he found out from someone else or by nefarious purposes.
"Harry, I have some bad news and I think it would be better to be forward about it rather than hide it."
Harry's eyes widened farther than they had all morning. What could be so awful? Ginny? Hermione? Ron? His Godsons? He wished Remus would just hurry and tell him.
"Harry, the Prophet ran an article about you and Ginny this morning."
"What?" Harry asked loudly, forgetting his headache for a moment before he winced and clutched his head again.
"The article was written from personal narrative and witness testimony."
Remus ceased his talking again to give Harry time to absorb the information.
"From who?"
Lupin sighed heavily, knowing Harry would possibly choose to react violently to the news. "Dean Thomas, and the patrons of The Leaky Cauldron last night who saw you and Ginny arguing. Rita Skeeter's photographer captured a picture of you and Ginny under a streetlamp on Charing Cross Road."
Remus studied Harry closely, there was no readable expression on the face of his houseguest. He wasn't sure whether he should be worried or not. Maybe Harry hadn't heard him.
"Harry?"
"I'm trying to remember," he finally answered. "There was a flash while Ginny and I were arguing. I thought maybe it was the light bulb overhead, but it must have been the flash of the camera. Ginny or I must have made the light bulb pop."
Harry rubbed his eyes with an emotional tiredness someone his age should not know firsthand. His hands visibly shook as he shielded his face from the daylight.
"I don't recommend doing anything drastic Harry, Dean is considering filing charges on all the Weasley boys and yourself for assault."
"Give me the newspaper please." Harry directed Lupin through clenched teeth.
Although cliché, Harry indeed thought the pictures spoke one thousand words. On one half of the page was Dean and Ginny, smiling happily up at him. It was sickening. The other half of the page bore the picture of he and Ginny saying the words no one else should have ever heard, let alone Rita Skeeter. Those pictures didn't turn his stomach, they saddened him. Ginny, although angry, looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful when she showed her emotions. Her coppery hair was tousled, her brown eyes blazed, and her lips were full and pouting. She looked utterly irresistible, and if Harry had any say, they wouldn't have been arguing in that picture, but she had left him no choice.
Harry rapidly read the article getting the gist of Dean's comments- Ginny was caring for him out of a sense of duty and obligation. It felt as though his heart had plummeted in his chest. He swore his heart was breaking all over again.
Harry had to get away from Remus. He had followed Harry all over the house, pestering him. Lupin insisted on asking if he felt all right, did he believe what the Prophet said, was he still keen on walloping Dean. Harry couldn't take it anymore. His headache still lingered but he got dressed anyway and decided some fresh air would do him good.
He stepped out of Grimmauld Place and just began walking. It began raining a little, but Harry did a quick Impervius spell to repell the water and continued on his way. After a length of time Harry was astounded to find himself in front of the Leaky Cauldron again. He was starting to finally get hungry, and it was raining, but he wasn't sure he was ready to go in- considering half these people ratted him out to the Prophet. He sighed and relented, it was either this or going home to listen to Remus nag on him.
Harry pulled open the door to the pub to find it much more crowded than last night. It was still as dimly lit as ever, and the embers of a fire glowed red.
From the corner he heard his name being called. He cringed slightly until he saw the face it belonged too.
It was Olivia Ollivander.
"Harry! Harry!" She called out in her husky voice. She rose above the crowd and waved discreetly.
Harry flashed her a smile and began walking toward the small, round table near the back of the pub near the exit to Diagon Alley.
Olivia was wearing plum coloured robes- which contrasted nicely with her mahogany hair. Her blue eyes twinkled magnificently as she pulled out the chair next to her.
"Hiya Harry," she breathed, patting her chair. "Have a seat."
Harry eased down into the rickety wooden chair, hoping Rita and her photographer weren't around this afternoon. He wondered if Olivia had seen the Prophet.
Harry greeted her with a smile and took the seat she offered. "How are you?"
"Better than you I'd wager." She teased, trying to make him smile.
When it didn't work her voice turned more serious. "I'm sorry Harry. It's not easy, but everything will be ok."
She reached out and patted his hand where it rested on the table. She offered a quick smirk and changed the subject. "So, are you going to join me for dinner, I only have an hour, but I'd appreciate some company."
Harry and Olivia ordered dinner, and Butterbeers- no more Firewhiskey for Harry! Olivia laughed as Harry relayed his story about his hangover and sympathized when Harry spoke about Rita's constant hounding. Harry was disappointed to see that their hour had transpired much too quickly.
He wasn't exactly sure how to go about it, but knew that he didn't want coincidence to bring them together again. Harry decided he would walk Olivia back to Ollivander's in effort to converse with her a little longer.
She had a contagious laugh, a bright smile, and femininity seemed encompass her. It wasn't hard to want to spend time with her.
When they reached the storefront she ascended the steps and turned to look down on Harry.
"I'm glad I happened upon you tonight. I don't fancy eating dinner alone every night." She smiled and absentmindedly twirled a lock of hair around her finger.
"Me too, I mean I'm glad you found me at the Leaky Cauldron." Harry stammered, nervously running his hand through his hair and adjusting his glasses.
She had all the confidence in the world when she spared Harry the embarrassment and asked if he was available to meet her again tomorrow night.
Harry walked back home in a kind of befuddled daze.
Ginny loved him. Ginny lied. Ginny chased him down to the Leaky Cauldron to profess her love. Ginny cared for him for 5 years out of guilt.
Harry didn't know what to believe anymore. He was 22- he had the body of a 22 year old, but he felt 17. In his own mind he still was. It was time to grow up. Far past time in fact.