KYAAAAAA! I am the happiest little beeyotch right now! I have 13 very lovely reviews and MuraSakura (whom I adore right now) dedicated a chapter in her story to me. Thank you so much! In honor of that this chapter is dedicated to you MuraSakura (and of course you to Ki-Sama). ROCK ON! And I'm extremely sorry this took me so long to get finished. Damn you school and all your diversions! Warning: This story contains language, violence, and crude humor. Children under the age of 13 should not read this fic.
Tori-Sama101's Reviewers
Thank you!
Kiriechan101: My social life is fine thank you very much and sorry for making you seem like a bitch in the last chapter. I feel bad about that. And you still have plenty of wood spiders in that closet of yours. Don't listen to what Bert says.
Baka-Chibi-Hakai: Hello chibi person! (pats on head) You must continue to try to get past Deep Jungle. The game gets better after that.
manyissues101: Well…er…GRAAGH! CURSE YOU AND YOUR DREAM! Only kidding. I have read your story. I like it. Please update soon.
anonymous: Yes, join my destruction of Kairi army! And why are you anonymous? You got something to hide? Huh? HUH? Do you? Do you?
Kairi7: You broke a rib laughing? Please don't send me your medical bill. AND I SHALL NEVER STOP DESPISING KAIRI!...Well maybe if she brings me a latte, BUT ONLY WHEN SHE BRINGS ME THAT LATTE!
MuraSakura: YOU FREAKING RULE! (hugs) Please update your story soon. And Ki isn't really THAT evil.
Ok now let's do this thang!
Disclaimer: Keely and I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If we did we'd be to busy buying weed from Goofy.
Part 3: Traverse Town
Goofy: (looks up)
Keely: Argh. Damn the Disney crap.
Tori: (sings inside closet) Dadudududududududu…..and really bad eggs….drink me arties yo ho!
Keely: (hits closet door with stick) Shut up in there!
Tori: I can't help it. It's boring in here.
Donald: Aw, what do you know ya big palooka.
Tori: What did you say to me?
Keely: It was just the game Tori. Don't get a hernia.
Tori: No I recognize your voice anywhere. If you got a problem with the way I think SAY IT TO MAH FACE!
Keely: …Tori that was Don-
Tori: DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! (pouts)
Keely: …. I am so happy you're in a closet right now.
Sora: (wakes up looking adorable) What a dream…
Tori: (gets up) Hark! Is that the voice of the adorable one!
Keely: Hark?
Tori: I must escape and gawk at his cuteness! (pounds on door)
Keely: (watches the closet door)
Tori: Damn it all to hell! Open I say! (kicks door)
5 minutes of door abusing go by
Tori: Please…please…open. (turns doorknob)
(door slowly opens)
Keely: Hey, what do you know. I forgot to lock the door.
Tori: …..(begins to cry)
Keely: (holds up bowl) Ice cream?
Tori: (sits on couch and eats silently)
Sora: (walks into Second District)
(some reaaaaalllly ugly dude trips and his heart floats into a heartless)
Tori: Hahahaha the ugly dude lost his heart!
Keely: …
(shadow heartless form around Sora)
Tori: OOOOHHH! LET ME FIGHT LET ME FIGHT!
Keely: No.
Tori: Aww come on! I was in the hell closet for an hour!
Keely: No, you were in the hell closet for 10 minutes.
Tori: Well, your breath smells.
Keely: Aww.
Tori: Oh I'm sorry. (hugs)
Keely: You went too far on that one.
Sora: (runs into Hotel)
Goofy: Doesn't look like he's here.
Tori: Just missed 'em maroons.
Keely: Maroons?
Tori: What?
Keely: You have a very odd volcabulary today.
Sora: (runs to First District)
Squall/Leon: They'll come at you out of nowhere.
Sora: Who are you?
Keely and Tori: SQUAAAAAALLLLLLL! (both skip around like fan girls)
Tori: Ahhhh he's so smexy!
Keely: Yes indeed, but he has a mullet.
Tori: And I don't give a damn!
Squall/Leon: (walks toward Sora) Now, let's see that Keyblade.
Tori: (snickers)
Keely: What's so funny?
Tori: That sentence could be oh so easily be twisted.
Keely: (giggles) Oh god.
Tori: (in a manly voice) Sora, lemme see your Keyblade. (in a high pitched voice) No! (pretends to cover crotch) Stay away from my danger!
Keely: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Tori: Thank you Stewart.
Sora: (fights Squall/Leon)
Tori: Heeeeyyy, I wanna fight Squall.
Keely: No. You always lose.
Tori: So do you.
Keely: No I don't.
Tori: Do too.
Keely: Do not.
Tori: Do too do too.
Keely: Do not do not.
Tori: … I wanna turn! (grabs controller)
Keely: No means no beesh! (pulls controller)
(both continues fight while Sora dies)
Both: GASP! Look what you did!
Tori: Me? it was you!
Keely: Was not it was you!
Tori: You were the one fighting him!
Keely: Well, you distracted me!
Tori: Uh huh. Sure.
Keely: You DID!
Yuffie: Hey, you found it. Nice going, Leon.
Squall/Leon: Still…It looks like things are worse than we thought. A lot worse.
Both: (stare at each other)… IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
Goofy: Gawrsh, there's nobody here. Sure is spooky!
Donald: Aw phooey. I'm not scared.
(Aerith taps Donald's shoulder)
Donald: (screams and jumps on Goofy's back)
Aerith: Excuse me. Did the king send you?
Tori: Good God! It's Aeris!
Keely: Cloud's dead girlfriend, right?
Tori: ALL WHO ARE KILLED BY MARUSUME CANNOT BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE! SHE MUST BE A ZOMBIE! BRING OUT THE RESIDENT EVIL CREW!
Keely: Will you kindly SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP!
Kairi: Come on, lazy bum. Wake up.
Tori: Oh god! It's the voice of the evil beeyotch!
Keely: Tell me what has she done to you in the past few weeks?
Tori: …Well…shut it.
Sora: I'm so glad that you're okay, Kairi.
Kairi: Kairi? Who are you talking about? (voice changes to Yuffie's) I'm the great ninja Yuffie.
Keely: Aww that's kinda sad.
Yuffie: I think you might've overdone it, Squall.
Squall/Leon: That's Leon.
Both: PRAISE THE SMEXINESS!
Tori: Aww now they're just gonna gab on and on about the Keyblade.
Keely: Hn. So what do you want to do in the mean time.
Tori: Hold that thought. (runs upstairs)
Keely: (looks around) Ohh a nickel. (picks it up and sings) I've got a nickel. I've got a nickel. And it's shiny.
Tori: Ok you ready?
Keely: (plays with nickel) Yeah. Whatever.
Tori: (jumps out in a banana outfit holding maracas) IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
Keely: (drops nickel) Oh… my…god…
Tori: PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY!
Keely: Tori for the love of God and all that is Holy STOP!
Tori: …..DO THE PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT!
Keely: (sobs) Please just shoot me now.
Squall/Leon: Sooner or later, the Heartless will find you. You'd best prepare yourself.
Sora: Prepare myself?
Squall/Leon: To fight for your life. Are you ready?
Tori: (in a Spongebob voice) I'm ready!
Keely: … Tori will you please take the banana suit off.
Tori: …No.
Yuffie: Leon! (points)
Squall/Leon: Yuffie, go!
Yuffie: (runs smacking Donald with the door)
Keely: Heh heh. That's just like what happened to you when you were walking to 3rd period.
Tori: Shut up shut up shut up.
Sora: (runs to Third District)
On the Balcony
(heartless appear)
Goofy: Gawrsh, are these the Heartless guys?
Tori: No shit Sherlock.
Donald: Let's go get 'em, Goofy!
(both get pelted into the sky)
Tori: AHAHAHAHAHA I LAUGH AT THEIR PITIFUL BEHINDS!
Keely: Don't laugh you'd be doing the same thing…only stupider.
(both land on top of poor Sora)
Donald and Goofy: The key!
(walls form blocking the exit)
Keely: AHAHA VIBRATION!
Tori: It's making the whole damn couch shake.
(heartless appear)
Tori: Can I please fight them?
Keely: (sighs) Fine. (hands over controller) But don't do anything stupid.
Tori: AHAHA C'MERE YA LITTLE BUGGERS! (beats the doody out of them) HA BEAT THAT KI!
Keely: I could've done that easily.
(giant Heartless armour appears)
Keely: AH MORE VIBRATION!
Narrator: Will Sora be able to defeat his newest boss? Will Tori ever grow out of her idiocy? Will Nny ever love Keely back? Find out next time on the next chapter of Kingdom Hearts: The Commentary!
Tori: Where the hell did he come from?
Keely: HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT NNY?
Tori: (looks around innocently)
Keely: Tooooorrrriiii.
Tori: What? I'm only admiring the beautiful paint job.
Keely: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!