A/N Glad to hear you're enjoying the story.
Chapter 57:30 pm Grissom's Office
Close on his heels, Sara roughly slammed the door as she stepped into Grissom's office.
"You shouldn't even be on this case," he tossed over his shoulder as he hastily retreated behind his desk and sank into his chair.
"And why not?" She was getting more defensive and remained standing.
"With your…history," he lamely completed.
Aghast, Sara could only stare. She was starting to regret the night she began to trust him again. This is exactly why she'd been afraid to trust him in the first place; he was using personal information to attempt to disqualify her from doing her job. "For your information, you don't even know exactly what my 'history' entails." Although she hated to admit it, it might support her argument. "Besides, my counselor thinks I can handle such a situation."
He avoided her angry stare, seemingly absorbed in cleaning his glasses.
She fumed in silence, waiting for him to make an intelligent response. Did he honestly think if he ignored her that she'd simply give up and go away? That certainly wasn't going to happen. After a minute, she couldn't take it any longer.
"Okay, I give up. What's this really all about?" Sara snapped as she stepped closer to the desk that served as a barrier between them.
"I already told you. This is far too dangerous."
Grissom pinched the bridge of his nose. His temples were beginning to throb.
"Why are you getting so upset? Don't you think that I can do the job? I'll have police backup, you know. Just because I've made some mistakes in the past doesn't mean that I'm not capable of doing my job. I know I can do this."
"That's not the issue. You're one of my best CSIs."
The pressure within his chest was becoming unbearable; he could hardly breathe. Why was she so completely fixated on this idea that he doubted her abilities? That was so far from the truth it was laughable. But could he tell her what his reasons really were? Especially when he wasn't entirely sure himself?
Her voice became louder, "You could've fooled me. You had no problem when that photographer could only deal with Catherine – you even took that case away from Nick and I, for God's sake. It was rightfully ours; it would've been a high profile case to boost our careers, and you knew it. But you gave it to Catherine because you thought she had an edge. Well, now I have an edge. Let me use it to get this scum."
"It's not the same," he objected more vigorously.
She stepped up against the desk and leaned towards him. "Why not? I'm more qualified than Catherine; I'm trained in weaponless defense, as well as being up to date on the target range. I have first hand knowledge of the suspect and his M.O. And I'm willing to do this, I want to do this, I need to do this."
"No, dammit," he bellowed as he stood up and slammed his hand on the desk.
"Why the hell not?" She was furious and bitterly disappointed in him.
Desperate, he tried another tactic, heart hammering and laboring for breath. "Sara, this isn't our role. You know our job, let the evidence do the talking. We don't do undercover work. That's not what we're trained for."
She didn't take the bait. "Well, our window of opportunity is slamming shut. Without anything definitive to pin on him, he's going to leave the country or at least the state. Do you want that to happen? Do you want to tell Michael Dunsmore that we let the man who murdered his wife go? Or break the news to his next victim's husband or boyfriend? You honestly think, as part of the LVPD, that we've done everything we can?"
A loud click drew their attention to the clock on the wall, counting down the minutes and hours until the deadline.
Forcing herself to breathe deeply and calm down she whispered forlornly, "Grissom, we have to help these people and get this guy off the street. Isn't that why we do this job?"
"I thought it was for the thrill of solving the mystery," he faintly murmured.
"Not funny. What's the problem here? If it were Catherine, you wouldn't be having this conversation."
Grissom felt the chinks in his armor grow, loosening the strict hold he kept upon his emotions; finally the weight of his true feelings came crashing in. He gave a deep sigh.
"You're right," he quietly admitted.
She paused, not sure she'd just heard his last comment correctly. "So, what's different with me?" she demanded.
"I'm not in love with Catherine," he confessed softly, the pressure in his chest loosening with his words, finally freeing his tongue and his heart.
"Oh."
Surprise made her knees weak. She perched cautiously on the edge of his desk as her anger melted away. He didn't doubt her abilities as an investigator. He was afraid for her safety; he was worried about her as a woman, a woman that he loved.
Sara looked at him, her love shining in her eyes. For a moment, they just gazed at one another, drinking in the moment.
He came around the desk to her, standing close, so that his hand just barely brushed hers.
Sara shook her head with disbelief, torn between overwhelming joy and frustration that he picked here and now to finally tell her he loved her. She wanted to bask in the thrill of the moment but this was the lab. Their work was an integral part of their being. Regardless of her personal circumstances or feelings, she had to address the urgency of the situation, she felt morally compelled to pursue this option, to fully exhaust their options before conceding defeat.
She lifted her eyes to his, and more gently, she reminded him, "We still don't have a choice here."
"Yes we do, honey. You don't have to do this," he insisted more tenderly, his fingers closing warmly around hers.
"I hate to say this but you've already pointed out that he's marked me as his next victim. I've insulted his pride during the course of this investigation and he's not going to forget that. He can easily figure out where I live. Wouldn't you rather his attack be while I'm under police surveillance than when I'm all by myself while driving home? If he's targeted me, do you honestly think he's not going to act on it?"
"Come home with me then," Grissom urged, not wanting to accept the inevitable, wanting to protect her from all danger.
She was touched by his suggestion, but reluctantly shook her head. "Thanks but you can't protect me all the time. I don't think I could live like that, living in fear. I need to face him and these conditions are more predictable than others that he might choose."
Overwhelming tenderness mixed with crushing dread in his chest. He recognized the fear, even more intense now. She held his heart in her hands. But she was right: he didn't like it, but he couldn't deny it.
"I have to do this, Griss," she whispered. Drawing on all her courage, she leaned forward to gently kiss his lips. The scent and the warmth of him enveloped her, calming her. She slid her arms around him, and tucked her head just under his chin. She murmured, "It'll be okay. I'll be okay, I promise." A small smile crossed her lips as she pulled back to look at him, "You know, you're not getting out of this now. Things just started getting interesting." With a sigh and a watery chuckle, he pulled her closer to hold her.
TBC