All of the things the art teacher does in this chapter, are based on true things that my art teacher did. I will put a star () next to whatever my art teacher did.
-calvinhobbes1010
Chapter 4:
The Crazy Art Teacher
"CALVIN, YOU HAVE TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL" screamed Calvin's mom.
Calvin had just got back from Mars, and he had the Snow Goons and Weirdoes crammed into the guest room of their house.
Unusually, Calvin woke up in an instant.
He was very excited about his evil plan to take over the world.
He ran downstairs and ate his breakfast quickly.
"Hey, where's the fire" said Calvin's mom.
"Just hurrying so I can get to school" said Calvin.
Calvin's mom's jaw dropped.
"I can't believe the day has come! Calvin actually is excited to go to school" said Calvin's mom.
"Well, actually I'm excited about something else" said Calvin.
"Please tell me you don't have a girlfriend" said Calvin's mom.
"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW! No, I've just got a plan to take over the world" said Calvin quickly.
"What?" said Calvin's mom, as if she didn't hear her son correctly, but Calvin was already out the door.
Calvin had shoved the blueprints in his backpack, but forgot to zipper it.
The blueprints fell out of his backpack while he ran down the aisle of the bus.
It had landed in the backpack of a kindergartener.
"Hey Susie" said Calvin.
"Oh my gosh. You actually said hey to me. Who are you and what have you done with Calvin!" screamed Susie.
"I'm just excited for school today" said Calvin.
"HALLELUJAH!" screamed Susie.
When the bus arrived at school, the kindergartener ran into the art room to deliver a note to the crazy art teacher.
"Here you go Miss Crazy Art Teacher" said the kindergartener.
"NOW GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I GET MY BOOK OUT AND THROW IT AT YOU!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher in her evil voice. (throwing book at a kid)
The kindergartener ran towards the door, and the blueprint fell out of the kindergartener's unzipped backpack, and fell into the Crazy Art Teacher's Secret Drawer that was opened.
The Crazy Art Teacher slammed the drawer shut, not seeing the blueprint inside.
Calvin unzipped his backpack inside the classroom, about to read the blueprint, when he saw it wasn't there.
"OH SHOOT! WHERE'S MY BLUEPRINT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD... I mean... where's my apple for lunch" said Calvin.
He tried to think back on who he walked past on the bus.
"Oh no, it's in that annoying kindergartener's backpack" said Calvin.
While they were sitting in class, Miss Wormwood had accidentally fallen asleep. This was the perfect chance for Calvin to get his blueprints back.
He snuck out of the room, absolutely unnoticed, and ran down to the kindergarten classrooms.
Right when he was about to open the kindergarten door, an X-Acto Knife flew right past his head, sticking into the door.
He turned around and saw the Crazy Art Teacher standing there with X-Acto Knives in her hand.
"DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE IN MY HAND" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher, threatening Calvin with the X-Acto Knife. ( My art teacher said "Do you see what I have in my hand)
"HOW DID YOU GET MY BLUEPRINTS" screamed Calvin.
"I found them in my drawer with my boxing gloves" said the Crazy Art Teacher (my art teacher has boxing gloves)
The Crazy Art Teacher threw another knife, just barely missing Calvin again.
"YOU'RE INSANE!" screamed Calvin.
She threw another knife, and this time Calvin jumped in the air, and tried to grab the blueprint.
But the Crazy Art Teacher kicked Calvin into the empty janitors closet, and locked the door.
The Crazy Art Teacher ran back to the art room with the blueprints.
"HEY! LET ME OUT OF HERE" screamed Calvin, but no one heard him as he pounded on the door.
Calvin just sat there and then heard the bell ring.
Wait, that's strange, there is no bell except in the junior high.
Then, he looked up at the ceiling and saw the vent.
"I CAN MAKE IT, AND STEAL THE BLUEPRINTS BACK" said Calvin.
The ceiling wasn't that high, so he just jumped up and pulled the vent out.
He began crawling through the vents.
He looked down through every vent and then finally found the art room.
He saw the Crazy Art Teacher with her boxing gloves on, and she was standing in front of a dummy with a students head on it.
"DID YOU JUST TALK" said the Crazy Art Teacher, pointing at the dummy.
There was no sound.
"I HEARD YOU TALK AGAIN!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
"She's insane" whispered Calvin.
"WHO SAID THAT! I HAVE SUPERSONIC EARS" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
She ran over and picked the book that she used to throw at trouble making students.
She threw the book directly at the vent, causing Calvin to jump.
"I KNOW YOUR UP THERE!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher, and she grabbed some rulers that she sharpened with a rock (my Crazy art teacher did not do that)
She took one of the tables and placed it under the vent.
Calvin began to crawl backwards, away from the vent.
Suddenly, a ruler stabbed through the thin metal, right in front of Calvin's face.
The stabs became quicker and more towards Calvin.
"I'M GOING TO GET YOU, WHO EVER YOU ARE" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
Then, Calvin saw a vent door up above him. He punched it open and crawled through.
"OHHHH, NOW WE'RE BECOMING CHICKEN NOW" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
Calvin heard sawing. The Crazy Art Teacher was sawing a square for her to crawl through.
"I'M COMING FOR YA" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
Calvin took a rock that was in his pocket and dropped it through the hole where he had entered the second layer of vents.
There was a bang.
"YES!" said Calvin.
"YOU MISSED ME YOU LITTLE PUNK!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
"OH NO!" screamed Calvin, and he started to crawl quickly.
He could hear the Crazy Art Teacher right behind him.
Then he remembered the tuna fish sandwich that his mom had made him in his backpack.
"Wow, my disgusting lunch might actually come in handy" said Calvin to himself.
He waited for the Crazy Art Teacher to crawl into the second layer of vents.
As soon as she poked her head through the hole, Calvin nailed her right in the face with the tuna sandwich.
"I'm GONNA GET YOU!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
Suddenly, the thin metal that was holding Calvin up gave-way and Calvin fell down to the first layer, and through the hole the Crazy Art Teacher had made.
Calvin got up, brushed himself off, and ran towards the drawer.
He tried to pull it open, but it wouldn't open.
"OH NO, I DON'T HAVE THE KEY TO OPEN THE DRAWER" said Calvin.
He heard the Crazy Art Teacher begin crawling towards the hole.
He looked around the room for a key.
The Crazy Art Teacher threw her ruler, and completely missed Calvin, but broke a jar full of paper clips open.
"OH YEAH, PAPER CLIPS CAN PICK LOCKS!" said Calvin.
He ran towards the pile of paper clips, and began to un-bend a paper clip.
"I'M NOT GONNA MISS THIS TIME!" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher, peeking her head through the hole.
Calvin quickened his pace.
Finally, he inserted the paper clip, and the drawer unlocked. He couldn't find the blueprint.
"LOOKING FOR THIS?" said the Crazy Art Teacher, holding the blueprint.
"Oh please" groaned Calvin.
He grabbed a paper-weight on the Crazy Art Teachers desk, and threw it at the hand holding the blueprint.
He missed, and suddenly, the art teacher fell through the thin metal.
She landed on a table with a loud thump.
Calvin ran over and grabbed the blueprint from her hand.
He began to run towards the door, but the door was locked!
"I am having the worst luck ever!" exclaimed Calvin.
The Crazy Art Teacher got up.
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher, and she picked up a flamethrower from behind her desk.
She pushed the trigger and began waving the flame in the air.
Then, Calvin threw the paper-weight that he threw before, and threw it at the flamethrower.
He hit it directly, and cause the flamethrower to drop onto the Crazy Art Teacher's desk, igniting it along with all of the papers on it.
"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed the Crazy Art Teacher.
Calvin remembered the paper clips, and ran towards them.
The fire moved towards the paper clips, so Calvin jumped away.
The Crazy Art Teacher ran towards the drawer and put the blueprint into the drawer, and locked it.
She took the key, and threw it into the fire.
"NOOOOO, ARE YOU INSANE?" screamed Calvin.
She moved the drawer towards the fire.
"OH PLEASE NO" screamed Calvin.
The drawer caught fire.
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO" screamed Calvin, and he saw the Crazy Art Teacher climbing through the window, and locking the window.
"HAHAHAHA" laughed the Crazy Art Teacher, who was now outside.
Then, some blue caught his eye.
It was over in the opposite corner of the fire. THE BLUEPRINT IN THE DRAWER WAS A DECOY!
He ran towards the blueprint, and grabbed it, only one problem, he couldn't get out of the slowly catching on fire room.
He began to think, all of the paperclips were in the fire, the key was in the fire, the vent had too many holes.
Then, he saw the Crazy Art Teacher's sledge hammer.
He grabbed it, and walked towards the door, preparing to smash it.
He could barely lift it up, but finally, Calvin took the first swing.
He missed the door, and knocked the handle off of the door.
He tried again, but still, no progress. This would never work.
So then, he grabbed the Crazy Art Teacher's chainsaw and pulled the cord, starting it up.
As he was walking, he tripped over his untied shoelace, and the chainsaw flew right into the counter.
He went over to grab it, but it was stuck.
He looked behind him, and over half of the room was now covered in fire.
"All of this just for a blueprint" said Calvin.
He was running out of time.
TO BE CONTINUED