Chapter 1

The arcade was noisy, like always. Serena saw Star in the corner of her eye she was in the usual booth, the last one on the balcony. The memories stream to her like it was storm in the spring. 'Here yes here we talk with her about everything from tests in the school to cute boys and lost loves, but never, never we talk about Darien's and her relationship. Ah, Star why do it hurt so much?'. Serena rushed to the both before Star would notice her, she was 5 minutes early it was a record for her. She stood behind the form in the blue dress and closed Star's eyes with her palms. The girl jumped from her surprise and turned to look on the Serena. She was wearing a blue sundress and her long blonde shiny hair was made in low ponytail "Beautiful as always." Mumbled Serena the usual compliment, that she knew her friend was needed for her confidence even if she was really beautiful, but Serena felt very embarrassment then she was saying this and always was blushing, today wasn't exception. Star smiled brightly and hugged her best friend.

"Hi, Sere! You are early I waited you to come in half hour at least!" said Star with sly smile on her lips. Serena made a grin "You are so mean Star, if I often late it doesn't mean that I never in my time, so stop it!" Serena replied playfully. "Now, tell me about what did you want to talk about, is it something wrong?"

"Uhh, Sere, not right now give me a second to look at you and ask you how are you?" answered the blonde girl. Then she stepped back and look at the Serena. Serena was wearing a white silk top and a black mini-skirt with silver design on it, looks like it was little hearts or snow flakes, they were very tiny. Star thought for second, Serena really looked nice even if she was a little bit short and her hair was not so gold us hers, dirty blonde – this was the color of Serena's hair, even if she were insisting that her hair was brown (sometimes it looked brown, but only when they were wet or in the dark) . 'And she is not so short as she says she is , I think her height is just fine; of course she is shorter than I am but for normal people she is just fine. Her self-confidence is in such low level. May be I can cheer her up with the news. I really hope that she will be glad about this one, she is one of my best friends.'

"Do you know that to stare like that is not proper?" laughed Serena, Star blushed from the comment, she did not realized that all the time she was looking on the Serena.

"You just look so good, I amazed that's all….Umh…How are you? " Star didn't lied.

"I am great, why do you ask?"

"I am your friend and we hadn't met for awhile." Actually they hadn't met for week, the last time Star saw Serena it was on the friend's party.

"No, it is not that, usually you know what happening to me and never ask how am I. Tell me what do you have on you mind?"

'She got me, I never could trick her, she is too damn smart. Oh, it is OK I will just say the truth.'

"Well, Serena I will tell you what I have on my mind, you look great but your eyes are puffy like you were crying and I want to know…no I demand to know what is happening to you, is it the fight you had with John?"

Serena was shocked is that so obvious that she was a rap. No, probably now but Star knew her so well and it was obvious for her. Serena tried, she tried to hide her sorrow, but failed miserably. But what she supposed to do now; her friend, her BEST friend were marrying the man Serena loved . Even if she can't hide her unhappiness, she must hide the reason of her grief. Anyway, she must be happy for her friend or look happy, that's the same thing.

"No, Star it is not that, I was not crying at all, I just took a bath before you called me; the soap got into my eyes , that's why they are puffy. And this fight with John, it is nothing bad just argument. Gees, Star you are overreacting." That's was the half truth and with this thought she gave the most bright smile of her to her suspicious friend.

Star glanced at her at the first, but than relaxed. This smile of her, the most bright Star ever saw on the people, this wasn't the smile of the deceiver, this was the smile of an angel, may be an angel who suffered a lot. But this wasn't the thoughts of the Star.

Everyone were telling Serena that she was a bad liar, it wasn't true; she was a good liar than she wanted to, but before this she never wanted to. This was her first official deceive to her friend.

And Star believed her, she truly did. May be she was loosing her true self or her magic ability to see when people were lying to her, or may be Serena was essentially a very good liar.

"Sorry, Serena, I didn't want you to think like that I was just worried about you, I am just overprotective about you, you are like sister to me. You know this……Look, I came here to say to you that my wedding is soon and I want you to help me with preparations……if you can and want, it is really important for me." Star was serious but in the and her voice started to shake, 'Is she nervous? She weren't nervous around me since middle high school, that's strange.' Thought Serena. "Star, it will be my pleasure to help you with your wedding; but you are a little bit strange it is August now and your wedding is in February, you have a plenty of time for preparations."

"No, Serena, see we talked about that with Darien and we agreed to marry in the beginning of November, so I haven't so many time for preparations." Serena's month opened to say protests like I am not ready to see him and you married. , but stopped - she had no rights to say this.

"Bu…but..but why? Something is wrong?" her voice started to tremble. Star smiled warmly "Nothing is wrong, but something happened, this was the thing I wanting to say to you ; you will be the first person who find this out. And I hope this is will make you happy, happy for me." Star was exciting and Serena was nervous: 'The last time she talked like this was the time she told me about her engagement with Darien'

"Whatever it is Star tell me, I will be glad for you."

"Well you know….I am pregnant " said Star with brilliant smile.

Serena visibly paled, Darien was going to marry her best friend plus now Star is pregnant with his child; it is something Serena couldn't give Darien even if she wanted to, even if he wanted it to. Serena couldn't have children; she never told this anyone, really she never had time to told this. She went to the doctor for check-up about four months ago, she was filing unwell. After some analyze doctor said that she had a problem, a big one - she never could have kids. She remembered that day like it was yesterday.

Flashback

"Ah, Serena, you were actually the person I wanted to talk, please take a sit." Said the doctor. Doctor Anderson, he was an elder man with small glasses and very friendly eyes, his hair was some mix of brown with silver, he was tall and in very good shape for his age; he was a family doctor and a good friend to Livingston's many years, Serena knew his family very, really his family was only his wife and his daughter. Mrs. Anderson, with long blue hair and same eyes, was very elegant and beautiful; she was doctor too, but not in this hospital, Serena never understood why she was away from her husband, but after all it wasn't Serena's business and that's why she never asked. His daughter, Amy was a student in the Medical university, and looked exactly like her mother only younger and with shorter hair, but Serena didn't have a chance to know her better , she barely knew her.

"Lucky me!" Serena giggled but stopped than she saw the quiet serious face of the doctor and felt very uncomfortable and nervous, even if it was her usual feelings in the hospital, that's why she told the stupid joke 'to break the ice' and to calm herself (Really, that's never worked) something was wrong and she knew that.

"Serena, please, you must now calm down and listen to me very carefully." Now even Serena heard the worry in his voice. It was so different from the cheerful usual self of the 'Uncle Andy'.

"OK," Serena's voice started to tremble somehow she felt that anything he would say now was very important, "is something wrong with me?"

"Look, Serena, dear" started Dr. Anderson "I am sure that somehow we will fix this, I will do anything I can for you just don't worry about it, please just don't worry," in this moment Serena's lower lip started to tremble, " from the tests we made it seems like you can't have kids, that's why you had this pains in your stomach b…"

At first she stared at him, but than it hit her, she paled and looked like you could see through her skin; she felt no better – like ghost without life, without purpose to live, without someone who could see her, just walking pointless on the road of life. She gaze on the doctor one last time, her lip stopped to tremble and she stood up trying to hide the eyes which were already filled with tears, 'Just try to be strong Serena, you are strong remember this, please just don't cry.'. She cut him from his speech.

"Thank you, Dr. Anderson, for everything, I just hope you will keep my privacy and don't tell about this to my parents or someone who knows me…." Her voice became whisper in the end and she blinked to keep the tears from falling "I will…go now. Bye." With this words she stormed from his office and started to run blindly to the exit, unable to keep tears from falling she started to cry. Then she turned on the another hallway she bumped in something hard and fell on the floor, tears stopped to fall from her eyes and she mumbled "Sorry, it was my fault, I wasn't looking." she rose and looked in the person she just bumped, and froze 'Damn it, what is he doing here, now? I don't want him to see me like this! He wasn't supposed to be here today, it is his day-off!'

"Serena? What are you doing here? What happened?" there, in front of her stood Dr. Shields…….Dr. Darien Shields.

"Hey, hi! I was just….visiting a family friend of mine…Dr. Anderson, do you know him?" I said trying to sound more happy than ever. "Anyway…I must to go now! See you!" she took off as faster as she could.

She locked herself in the home for three days without eating anything, but then she realized that she must go on with her life, that the heart ache she felt was not going to pass that easy. " I must to try." That was her words then.

End of Flashback