Ok. I hated the last chapter. I'm going to be fixing what I think should be fixed in the chapter. Ok? Ok. Let's get to it.
Love Ridden
Chapter Twelve
Numb
Friday, October 14, 2005
Emma sat in front of her stepfather's desk in his class room. He had asked her to meet him there after school. She didn't want to, but Jay convinced her. Her was finishing up some papers and when he was done, he looked up at her.
He sighed, "We're moving today."
Emma nodded, "I know."
"But, there's a small change in plans."
Emma raised in eyebrow, "What do you mean?"
He smiled slightly, "It turns out, my mother had quite the life insurance plan. Since, my father isn't going to be paying a lot of bills, he gave it to us. There's not enough to say we're rich. There's just enough to pay off both houses and enough for future bills. Your mother and I think, that you and Manny should move back home. We will come back on the weekends, to make sure everything is ok. When you both graduate, and are sure what you want to do with your life, we will either sell, or you both can pay the bills."
Emma sighed, "I was kicked out, remember."
"Your mother is sorry for hitting you. You hurt her, and she wasn't thinking."
"I'll move back. Under one condition."
He nodded, "And that is?"
"You both have to accept that I'm with Jay."
"That may take a little while. But we will try."
"Ok. I'll go to Jay's and pack my things. I'll go there tomorrow."
"Good. We'll call to check up."
"Bye dad."
Emma left the school and drove to Jay's. She pulled in the driveway and walked up the steps. She opened the door and walked to his room. She could hear laughter. Girl laughter. When she reached the door, she hesitated, then pushed it open. Jay was there. With someone else. He jumped away from the girl, "Emma."
Emma stared at him and then looked at the girl, "Leave."
The girl laughed, "It's not your house."
"No. But that is my boyfriend."
The girl just stood there, half naked. Jay wasn't sure what to do. He was drunk and he wasn't thinking clearly. He was just standing there, in his boxers, looking at Emma and then to this girl, "Em, this is Jessica."
Emma rolled her eyes, "I don't care, Jay. You know what, I'm just going to get my stuff and go. I'm moving back in to my parent's house." She grabbed her bags out of the closet and threw everything she had there in to them. Before walking out of the room she walked over to Jessica and punched her in the face. Then, she left. She put everything in her car and drove off. She could hear Jay yelling after her, but she refused to stop. First, she drove to Craig's to tell Manny. She walked up the front steps and rang the bell. Craig answered, "Hey, Em."
"Hey. Manny here?"
"Yep. Manny it's Em."
Manny walked over to them. She could tell Emma was upset, "What's wrong?"
Emma sighed and tears started to fall from her eyes, "I just walked in on Jay doing god knows what with another girl. My parents aren't selling our house, but are moving. We can stay there if we want. I don't have a choice now. I'm going over there now. No offense, but I would like to be alone. I'll see you later." Before Manny could say anything, Emma ran to her car and drove off.
Emma's house, Later that night
After she left Craig's she drove around. Waiting for her parents to be gone. A few hours later, she pulled up and they were gone. She walked in to the house and it was almost empty. The couch was there, a few shelves. Emma noticed they had brought up her TV, stereo, DVD player and VCR up to the living room. She walked upstairs and all of her furniture was in her parent's old room. The spare furniture they left was in Jack's room for Manny. She unpacked her stuff and went down to the living room. She put on the TV but nothing was on. Her cell phone rang. She picked it up and looked at the screen. It was Jay, calling for the 100th time. She picked it up because she was bored and wanted to hear the excuse he came up with this time.
She hit the answer button and sighed, "Hello?"
"Emma please forgive me? I was drunk. Really drunk. I don't know why I let it happen."
Emma laughed, "I know why. Because you are a liar and a cheater. You're never going to change. Goodbye Hogart." She hung up the phone and threw it on the floor. She locked her front door and walked to her new room. She grabbed the bag that she didn't unpack yet and walked to the bathroom. She dumped everything out on to the counter. She put her shampoo and everything away. She felt around the back and her hand landed on something. She pulled it out, it was the blade she broke off of her razor. She placed it on the side of the tub and turned on the shower. She got undressed and climbed in to the shower. She washed her hair and her body. Then, she turned the shower head off, and let the faucet take off. She sat on the shower floor, Indian style. She reached over and picked up the small blade. She looked at it and sighed, "My new friend."
This time she didn't care. She held out her arm and put the blade to her skin. She closed her eyes, and pulled it hard across her skin. A few tears fell from her eyes as the blood made it's way through the opening. She repeated herself, this time not as deep. She kept dragging the blade across her skin. Not stopping until she counted to 15. She wasn't sure why 15 stood out in her mind the most. Maybe, because that's when her perfect life was shattered. She dropped the blade and it drifted to the drain, just like it did before. She watched the blood drain out of her body, and blend with the water. She tilted her head and leaned it against the shower wall. A few minutes later, she turned off the faucet and got out. She dried her arms first. Making sure they stopped bleeding. She wrapped a towel around herself and left the bathroom. She went to her room and got changed, putting on a long sleeve shit.
She walked back down to the living, feeling better. She checked her cell phone, 10 missed calls. All were from Jay. She checked her voice mail. They were all the same, "Please Emma! I'm so sorry! I love you." Except the last one, "I'm coming over Emma. We need to talk about this." She hit delete and her doorbell rang. She slowly got up and made her way to the door, she peaked through the window. It was Jay.
He rang the bell again.
She yelled through the door, "Go away asshole!"
"Emma! Please let me come in. I'm sorry. Let me explain."
She sighed and opened the door. Letting him in. She walked back over to the couch, ignoring him.
"Emma, listen. Jessica is an old friend. We ran in to each other after school. She came over. We drank. She started to kiss me and on thing led to another..."
She turned to look at him, "Save it, Jay. I don't want to hear it. You cheated on me! You are never going to change."
A few tears fell from his eyes, "I have changed, Em. I have. You know I have."
She turned away from him, "Didn't you do this to Alex?"
"No. I was sober most of the time."
"Sober or not. It's not right. I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to be with me. But, once again, I was wrong."
"I do love you. I love you so much." He grabbed her arms lightly, "Please, just forgive me."
She winced in pain and pulled away her arms, "No."
Jay looked at her, "Did I hurt you?"
She shook her head.
"Then why did you make a face like I did."
"I don't know what you're talking about. You should go." Emma folded her arms across her chest. Not noticing blood was coming through on the spot where Jay had grabbed her.
He looked in her eyes and could tell she was hiding something. He looked down at her arms, "Em, why is there blood on your shit? Kill someone?"
She shot him a dirty look, "No."
"Well, then why?"
"Not your business."
Jay bit his lip and started to get worried, "Show me your arms, Em."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to."
"Bullshit."
She sighed, "Just go Jay."
He grabbed her right arm and pulled back the sleeve. Tears started to fall from her eyes, "Em..what...why?"
She let the tears fall. She couldn't hold them back, "Because Jay. Because no one is capable of truly loving me."
"That's stupid, Em. And you know it. So many people love you."
"Just go Jay."
"No. I won't."
She stood up and pushed him, "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
"Emma stop it."
"Get out of my house!" She tried to push him again but he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her.
She fell to the ground, and he leaned next to her, "It's gonna be ok, baby. It's gonna be ok. I'm here, ok? I love you. I'm so sorry." He tried to soothe here. A few minutes later he realized she was asleep. He picked her up and carried her to the basement, not knowing it wasn't her room anymore. He walked back up the steps, and over to the upstairs stairs. He pushed open Jack's door, but it had none of her stuff. So, he walked to her parent's old room, and walked over to the bed. He laid her down and walked to the bathroom. He came back with a first aid kit. He cleaned her cuts and bandaged them up. When he was done he laid down next to her, wrapping her in his arms.
I saw you cry today
The pain may fill you
I saw you shy away
The pain will not kill you
You made me smile today
You spoke with many voices
We travelled miles today
Shared expressions voiceless
It has to end
Living in your head
Without anything to numb you
Living on the edge
Without anything to numb you
It has to end to begin
Began an end today
Gave and got given
You made a friend today
Kindred soul cracked spirit
It has to end to begin
Living in your head
Without anything to numb you
Living on the edge
Without anything to numb you
It had to end to begin
Living in your head
Without anything to numb you
Living on the edge
Without anything to numb you
Living in your head
Without anything to numb you
Living on the edge
Without anything to numb you
it has begun
Song: Numb
Owned by: Sia