Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. This is based off of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series and Dear Prince Charming by Donna Kauffman.

Chapter 1: What They Don't Know Won't Hurt Them

"Excuse me? I don't believe I heard you correctly. Run that by me again," said publicist Lily Evans. She currently was nervously pacing around her spacious and luxurious office, clutching her telephone to her ear while anxiously waiting for a response from the man who could make or break her career. Hell, he could make or break this magazine. She ran a shaky hand through her long, auburn hair and sat down on her comfortable office chair.

"I'm gay, Ms. Evans. Gay. Not straight. Batting for the other team. Whatever you prefer to call it," said the voice of an unreasonably tranquil Remus Lupin. How could he be so CALM at a time like this? thought Lily. It was two weeks before A Touch of Magic, a new modern witch's magazine and rival to Witch Weekly, began the photo shoot for its upcoming celebrity Remus Lupin, advice columnist extraordinaire. Though the magazine was selling, it wasn't enough to outdo Witch Weekly, which is the ultimate goal that Lily Evans will claw her way to. And if it means to literally "claw", then so be it, she thought. Witches all across the country have anxiously been awaiting seeing the man who has helped them "win their wizard over", "dump their frog and get a prince" and other romantic problems. But now, how would they respond to their supposed "dream guy" being gay?

"Are you sure? About being gay, I mean. There isn't any way that you are, by any chance, uncertain? Confused? Lonely? Anything?" cried a now very desperate Lily.

"Yes, I'm certain, Ms. Evans. I've been certain since my Hogwarts years," chuckled Remus.

"And you decided that two weeks before all this publicity and hype begins that you would come frolicking out of the closet?" hissed Lily. This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening…All of her hard work and dedication, thrown away breezily by a single sentence! Every photo shoot, every interview, every appearance, every book signing that she has slaved over to achieve and plan… gone!

"Yes, I know that this is a horrific time to tell you this, I'm sure that you have enough stress on you as it is…" said Remus, trailing off.

"Why yes, I do have enough stress to LAST ME A GODDAMN LIFETIME! Listen to me, Mr. Lupin-"

"Please, call me Remus. As it seems we will be spending a profuse amount of time together, I hope that it would be okay to be on a first name basis. Is this feeling mutual, Lily?" said Remus, hoping to calm her down, if only for a second.

"Yes, yes, but this isn't the problem, Remus. The problem is that you signed a contract. A contract that binds you at least 2 years of publicity for A Touch of Magic. There's no way that you can back out of this NOW!" yelled Lily.

"And don't worry, I will fulfill that contract. But all I'm asking for is that you spare me my physical identity. All I ask for is to not be shown in the public eye."

"And exactly HOW do you plan to do this when you know damn well that your entire contract is based on publicity?" screeched Lily. I can't believe this. Just when my life begins to simmer down and go my way, THIS happens.

"Again, please do not worry. Your job is safe and sound… along with the contract," Remus quickly added when he heard a screech of protest.

Well, there's one half of the plan accomplished, thought Remus. Hopefully the other will be just as amicable as she was, he added sarcastically.

What is that damn RINGING?, thought a very drowsy James Potter. Pillow? No. Sun? Not likely. Sirius? Maybee… He lifted his head, hands flying about to find a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. Ah hah, he thought proudly as he grasped onto them. Now onto the ringing.

James began searching around for the source of the beeping, finally finding it in the shape of a telephone. How do Muggles stand this? He picked up the telephone, muttering a very groggily greeting.

"James? Are you there?" said a recognizable voice.

"Moony?" James questioned. Why's he calling this early?

"Prongs, did you just wake up? It's 2 in the afternoon! Ahhh… late night, I suppose?" Remus said knowingly. James peered over at the over side of his king-sized bed. He encountered a large ball of blonde hair and a foot somehow lying next to it.

"Yeah, I guess it was," James said, awe and confusion obvious in his tone. He couldn't remember for the life of him what he had done last night. Well, obviously I know what I did…he thought. He ruffled his jet black, constantly messy mop of hair and began to look for a pair of trousers. "So Moony, what can I do for you?"

"Well, James, I've got a far-fetched favor that I need to ask of you," said "Moony" somewhat timidly.

"Oh yeah? Could Padfoot do it? He's always good at fetching things," snickered James, referring to the animagus shape, a large black dog, that Sirius Black could transform into. Good ol' Hogwarts, thought James. He remembered the nights that the Marauders spent together helping Remus through the adversity of his transformation. Every full moon, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were no longer the Marauders, but a stag, dog, werewolf and a rat, respectively. Though the nights usually ended in scratches and bruises, sometimes worse, James remembered those nights with a sense of amusement and nostalgia.

"No, he couldn't do this task. Too stupid for it," joked Remus. Sirius was always known by his ignorance of the phrase, "think before you speak". It had landed him in a few spots, especially during their 7th year with a masculine-looking girl name Amanda Crabbe. Remus chuckled at the memory of a terrified Sirius being held two feet above the ground by a menacing six-foot girl with a unibrow.

"Oh, well then I understand perfectly. What's the mission, Moony?"

"Pretend to be me for a few years," said Moony in a monotone voice.

"Good one, and the task is, Moony? And hurry up, there's a big fluff of blonde hair in my bed that might wake up any minute now."

"I'm being serious, Prongs," Remus said, in the same monotone voice. He began to explain the situation he was in. How he had began to write pieces of advice for some girls in Hogwarts in their 7th year. How he was recommended to a few newspapers before being picked up by a magazine called A Touch of Magic. How he had frivolously signed a contract before realizing how much media he would be receiving.

"What I don't understand is why you don't want this attention. You're a very attractive guy, Moony. Don't take that the wrong way though, I'm not a poof," chuckled James, oblivious to the cringe Remus made on the other side of the line. James was right in his assessment, Remus was very attractive. Through his Hogwarts years, he was shadowed by the black, messy hair of James Potter and the sultry gray eyes of Sirius Black. But now, 6 years after Hogwarts, Remus easily falls under the category of "Sexy, Charming, Sweet and Any Other Adjective To Describe A Dream Man". His sandy blonde hair and startling blue eyes remain the same, but he falls a little over six-foot, with broad shoulders and a toned chest. His facial features have sharpened, with cheekbones and a nose that makes him look like a god. Yes, he could easily compete against James and Sirius for any girl. Or man, in Remus' case.

"Well, James, that's another little surprise that you're going to find out. I'm gay."

"Oh…"

Lily sat at her office desk, furiously squeezing at a Muggle stress-relief ball while anxiously waiting for a call from Remus. Hopefully she could get this sorted out before her meeting with the Fairy Godmothers, three very powerful and charismatic witches who came together to make something great. Something that every witch could have in common. Something that Lily desperately wanted to be apart of as their executive publicist.

That was another goal, for the plaque on her wooden desk to read Lily Evans, Executive Publicist. Recently, she had entertained the idea of that actually happening, until today. No, today, a very attractive (Merlin if he wasn't attractive) man pleaded guilty to swinging the other way. The same man that sat on top of a contract, her career, basically her life.

Lily had always prided herself in fully immersing into her work. She was at the top of her class at Beaubaxtons School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She even had top marks in her Auror training, which she never used. Once she got through her training, she was swept up in the frenzy of media. She was fascinated by how almost every witch in England owned a copy of Witch Weekly at one point or another in their life. She loved her job and she was going to fight to keep it, gay advice columnist or not.

Suddenly her telephone rings, seemingly reverberating off of the tension filled in the room. She picked up the receiver with haste, snapping a quick greeting and introduction to the person on the other side.

"Lily? It's Remus again. I just wanted to tell you that the plan is complete. I got the consent of the friend I needed it from, so don't worry. I can tell you're going crazy, probably strangling a poor stress ball to death," chuckled Remus.

"Well I have to tell you, I will leave the stress ball alone if you tell me what the hell is going on," shouted Lily.

"Relaxation is a virtue, along with patience," said Remus, as if he were speaking to a five year-old. "Now, the plan is quite simple: I will continue to write for your advice column, I will do every written interview that will be published. What I don't want to do is any photo shoot or public book signing. That's where the plan comes in. I have a friend who agreed, though quite reluctantly, to fill in as me for the public's eye. That way, everyone's happy: I'll have privacy, you'll have publicity and the public will see what they want."

"Bu-but… there are SO many things that could go wrong with this supposed 'plan' of yours," stuttered Lily. " How will he know what to do? What if they ask a question about your past? Or his past? These witches are nosey, they'll rip him apart if he has a bad past. What if they ask him to give advice? Is he qualified to do this? You said he's reluctant, will he be hard to work with? Is he someone that the public will like?"

"My friend James will be fine to work with. He's very amiable. Although he can be quite arrogant sometimes, he'll be on his good behavior, I swear," he quickly added when he heard Lily groan. "I'll be with him at every event as his manager, so if he runs into a tight spot I'll help him out of it. And believe me, the public will love him."

"What am I supposed to do about the Fairy Godmothers? Just completely leave them out of this and lie to their face? I'm pathetic at lying!" she exclaimed.

"What they don't know, won't hurt them," said Remus in a low voice.